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One day a mother is shopping with her three little daughters. The oldest asks, 'Mommy, why am I called Lily?' The woman says, 'The day we brought you home from the hospital, a lily-petal drifted down from the sky and landed on your head. so we named you Lily." This prompts her younger sister to ask, 'Why am I called Rose?," to which the reply is the same--a rosepetal drifted down and landed on her head, so they named her Rose. Then the littlest girl chimes in, gurgling happily and reaching for her mother. Lily snaps at her, "Pipe down, Brick!"
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Jul 1, 2010 02:54
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:44 |
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Um, that's offensive. My grandfather died at Auschwitz. His rifle went off while he was cleaning it.
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Dec 24, 2012 18:16
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What's worse than ten dead babies in one mailbox? One dead baby in ten mailboxes.
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Dec 25, 2012 10:19
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What's long and purple and makes women scream? SIDS.
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Jan 11, 2013 06:23
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Why did Jeff Tate get frostbite? Because he doesn't believe in gloves!
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Jul 9, 2014 08:14
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What's the difference between a black man and a rare species of parrot? The parrot is protected by the law.
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Dec 18, 2014 14:36
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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock-knock. Who's there? The chicken.
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Jan 13, 2015 02:19
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkJNKEOOdCk
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Jul 17, 2015 05:17
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Jedit posted:I heard a different version, though it really doesn't work too well written down. I've always heard it as, she's at the plastic surgeon's getting an implant or an augmentation, and the doctor asks if he can numb her breasts. She of course says yes and he proceeds to take off her top and put his mouth all over them---"Num-num-num!!!"
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Oct 4, 2015 05:22
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Vadun posted:The man who invented auto-correct just died. Restaurant in peace I here his funfair is on sundial.
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May 21, 2016 01:42
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:44 |
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Raitzeno posted:Only if your audience knows what that is... Just a warning you might have low turnout. Last year I gave a lecture on sexual dysfunction, and no one came.
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May 25, 2016 05:43
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