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Sonic Dude
May 6, 2009


MaxDuo posted:

I just love how often customers will come up and ask about some product, then when I say we're sold out, they insist I have no idea what they're asking for.
I'd rather they assume I don't know what they're talking about; that way they eventually give up. It's significantly preferable to " but I neeeeeed it! My computer has been broken for 9 months and I'm just getting around to bringing it in and I can't wait until tomorrow to get it back!! You have to already have the part in stock because I neeeeeed it!"

I have to explain at least once every two weeks that yes, we have to special-order that; yes, I'm responsible for all of our ordering and I know we have to special-order it; and yes, I'm sure we don't have one "in the back." In the back we have a bathroom and a recycling bin. That's it.

And it's never even about something that I could justify keeping on hand. It's always a left shift key for a Turing-incomplete computer from 1924.

Solkanar512 posted:

I just have to ask you retail folks this - how are consumers supposed to tell the difference between "actually, I'm too lazy find the product you want" and "really, we don't have the poo poo you want"?
It's about attitude. You can usually tell if someone is just phoning it in. They're not going to put more effort into telling you it's out of stock than they would put into just going and getting it (at least, if they're good at being lazy).

Sonic Dude fucked around with this message at Oct 18, 2010 around 04:23

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Dodgeball
Sep 24, 2003

Oh no! Dodgeball is really scary!


Yesterday I met a goon at work.

He asked the question wrong.

SpartanIV
May 18, 2007

Havin' a good time

Dodgeball posted:

Yesterday I met a goon at work.

He asked the question wrong.
Hey I had the shirt on! People could fake the question or know it through lurking, but only a true goon would have a GET OUT shirt on, or recognize it.

edit: also I feel the need to justify my purchase of Viva Pinata: Pocket Paradise to you by saying it was a gift for someone. You didn't say anything but I could feel you judging me

SpartanIV fucked around with this message at Oct 18, 2010 around 04:51

Huntersoninski
Feb 15, 2008

It is only goodness which gives extras.


It's late and I'm tired so I can't think of any of my own stories right this second, but I thought I'd share one from my sister which happened recently.

My sis works at Target. One day after getting out of work, she swings by a Home Depot to pick up something for her home repairs, still in uniform.

She didn't know exactly where what she was looking for was, but was content meandering around until a sales associate found her, as she was in no hurry. She noticed another woman bobbing along on the other side of the isle but thought nothing of it.

As she came round the end of the isle, she saw the woman looking at her. She made eye contact with her briefly before moving on, thinking nothing of it. Then the woman spoke up.

Woman: Uh, excuse me, are you blind?

Knowing my sister, I'm surprised the woman didn't combust on the spot. Instead, my sister turned to the woman, who was scowling and looking superior, and spoke:

Sister: To answer your first question, no, I am not blind.
Woman: (sputtering) How dare you--
Sister: And to answer your second question, no, I do not work here.

At that, the woman's eyes grew giant and she began waving her hands around, crying nevermind! nevermind!

Sister: Do you really think that nasty attitude is the best way to deal with people?
Woman: (retreating as if being chased) Nevermind! Nevermind!

So, just thought I'd pass along something satisfying for all those who've put up with those ladies but couldn't talk back. I'll be along eventually to share my own sad tales or retail.

spankmeister
Jun 15, 2008

shitposting added here --->


Sonic Dude posted:

I have to explain at least once every two weeks that yes, we have to special-order that; yes, I'm responsible for all of our ordering and I know we have to special-order it; and yes, I'm sure we don't have one "in the back." In the back we have a bathroom and a recycling bin. That's it.

It's funny how people think "The Back" is some kind of magical huge warehouse just filled to the brim with everything they need that day.

Chicken Doodle
May 16, 2007

This could Hertl-ittle.


spankmeister posted:

It's funny how people think "The Back" is some kind of magical huge warehouse just filled to the brim with everything they need that day.

The Back is a magical place I like to go when someone asks me a really retarded question and I need a break for five minutes.

SlaveToTheGrinds
Apr 2, 2010


Chicken Doodle posted:

The Back is a magical place I like to go when someone asks me a really retarded question and I need a break for five minutes.

Oh god. The back, the loving back. Well don't you have "random thing I want" in the back. Yes actually I do, i'm just hiding it from you because you are too god damned fat to be eating it. Shut. The. gently caress. Up. We do want to make money off of our items. Which means that whatever we have is right in front of your loving face.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Drink up, virgoons! Everybody's doin' it! You don't want everyone to think you're squares, do ya?

spankmeister posted:

It's funny how people think "The Back" is some kind of magical huge warehouse just filled to the brim with everything they need that day.

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006


spankmeister posted:

It's funny how people think "The Back" is some kind of magical huge warehouse just filled to the brim with everything they need that day.

What's even funnier is when they go back there and magically have another 17 tvs in the exact model you were looking for.

shifty
Jan 12, 2004

I dont know what you're talking about

spankmeister posted:

It's funny how people think "The Back" is some kind of magical huge warehouse just filled to the brim with everything they need that day.

When Wiis were in short supply, I called around once a week to find one. Finally, there were 5 at a local Best Buy. I rushed over there, and in 5 minutes they were "out". I asked a manager if they had really sold 5 Wiis in the past 5 minutes. Magically, the employees remembered they had 5 in the back, and very secretively got me one. I realize there's normally nothing in the back that's not out on the shelves, but sometimes the question is justified.

froglet
Nov 12, 2009


Solkanar512 posted:

I just have to ask you retail folks this - how are consumers supposed to tell the difference between "actually, I'm too lazy find the product you want" and "really, we don't have the poo poo you want"?

Plenty of stores have a computerised inventory system. Type in the brand of the item and select it from the list it can tell you stuff like how much it costs the store to buy in, how many are in the store, if there are any back orders, etc.

If they type it into the computer and they say 'sorry, we don't have any in stock', it's a rare occasion the staff member is lying.

Joonami
Oct 23, 2005

Swim this way
We'll dance and we'll play
Now, it's very easy
Come on in
Just take a chance and shake a fin~


shifty posted:

When Wiis were in short supply, I called around once a week to find one. Finally, there were 5 at a local Best Buy. I rushed over there, and in 5 minutes they were "out". I asked a manager if they had really sold 5 Wiis in the past 5 minutes. Magically, the employees remembered they had 5 in the back, and very secretively got me one. I realize there's normally nothing in the back that's not out on the shelves, but sometimes the question is justified.

This was a big exception when I worked at Circuit City, though we could tell people they were there but weren't allowed to sell them until the ad for that week had started.

At the Lego store I work at, the back room is so small that we have the shelves on wheels so we can fit all the stuff we can carry. This size limitation extends to the floor, so while the stock is generally limited, sometimes we do have whatever you're looking for, we just can't physically fit it on a shelf on the floor.

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006


froglet posted:

Plenty of stores have a computerised inventory system. Type in the brand of the item and select it from the list it can tell you stuff like how much it costs the store to buy in, how many are in the store, if there are any back orders, etc.

If they type it into the computer and they say 'sorry, we don't have any in stock', it's a rare occasion the staff member is lying.

The first guy in my situation didn't bother to check the computer. He simply told me that they were all gone and left me at that. It was a second individual that bothered to check, found 17 televisions, and went back and got one.

It's experiences like that that cause people to go nuts and start demanding that the back be checked. I understand being frustrated when some loving nutcase goes apeshit on you when they want some seasonal item six months after the fact, I really do.

It's a nasty cycle to be honest. Retail management treats staff like poo poo and sets policies that get in their way. That means customers get poo poo service. Then customers expect poo poo service and treat you guys like poo poo in return. Management wonders why sales suck and gets on the collective rear end of the staff. Rinse and repeat. Did I miss something?

Megera
Sep 9, 2008


SlaveToTheGrinds posted:

Oh god. The back, the loving back. Well don't you have "random thing I want" in the back. Yes actually I do, i'm just hiding it from you because you are too god damned fat to be eating it. Shut. The. gently caress. Up. We do want to make money off of our items. Which means that whatever we have is right in front of your loving face.

Macy's has The Back (at least for cosmetics and fragrances), and I'm sorry we help to perpetuate this myth for other stores without them.

I haven't had any terrible experiences with customers yet. I keep getting moved to new areas to work in, so I have no idea where anything is or what it does each time I start, and the customers are surprisingly patient. Luckily the people I work with are specialized in whatever product I'm selling that day, so I can always ask them for help, but I'm pretty sure they were getting annoyed with me by the end. At least I've finally figured out the register.

And my first One Day Sale is this Saturday.

Dodgeball
Sep 24, 2003

Oh no! Dodgeball is really scary!


SpartanIV posted:

Hey I had the shirt on! People could fake the question or know it through lurking, but only a true goon would have a GET OUT shirt on, or recognize it.

edit: also I feel the need to justify my purchase of Viva Pinata: Pocket Paradise to you by saying it was a gift for someone. You didn't say anything but I could feel you judging me

I played the first one on 360. Not my position to judge.

EDIT: Also, I'm totally wearing my CNST jersey the next time there's a game in town.

Flavor Bear
Jan 13, 2008

Bear Love is Best Love

Regarding "The Back".
Sometimes, in large chain/department stores, there is backstock.
However, for gas stations and convenience stores, there is no "back".
The back of a convenience store is a mop sink and an ancient computer with the manager's password (usually just "password" or "mgrpass") written in Sharpie on the keyboard.

So if they're out of Virginia Slims or King Size Snickers, they're out.

I'm a year and a half into being unemployed and still bitching about retail.
Screw this land.

A Dapper Man
Apr 7, 2007

Sometimes, I just like to kick it freestyle.

shifty posted:

When Wiis were in short supply, I called around once a week to find one. Finally, there were 5 at a local Best Buy. I rushed over there, and in 5 minutes they were "out". I asked a manager if they had really sold 5 Wiis in the past 5 minutes. Magically, the employees remembered they had 5 in the back, and very secretively got me one. I realize there's normally nothing in the back that's not out on the shelves, but sometimes the question is justified.

Gah, motherfuckin' Best Buy. My parents wanted to buy my wife and I a Wii as a combined birthday present. So we go to BB and ask. The stock guy actually tried to tell us that Nintendo had stopped production on them (this was 6 months ago, mind). So we went to the local grocery/department store (Meijer, for those of you in the midwest) where they had about 20 in stock. I haven't been back to Best Buy since.

SpartanIV
May 18, 2007

Havin' a good time

Dodgeball posted:

I played the first one on 360. Not my position to judge.

EDIT: Also, I'm totally wearing my CNST jersey the next time there's a game in town.
So today?

also, as I've posted before, I work at a Target Starbucks. So I not only have Target managers but also a Starbucks manager. After leaving work today I ran into my Starbucks district manager and her manager in a sandwich shop where I went for lunch. We started talking and she asked if I had heard about the manager position I applied for and through an amazing series of sentences, I managed to imply that another nearby Target Starbucks that is also in her district is filthy(which it is) in front of her boss. So that was an amazing foot-in-mouth moment and I'm still cursing myself for being an idiot but I'll apologize profusely next time I see her and hope she doesn't hold it against me(she will).

MaxDuo
Aug 13, 2010


Solkanar512 posted:

I just have to ask you retail folks this - how are consumers supposed to tell the difference between "actually, I'm too lazy find the product you want" and "really, we don't have the poo poo you want"?

Yeah, some people are just lazy. But in this case I told them exactly what the item was and that we hadn't had it in a while. And when they told me it must be somewhere else I told them that that was ALL of the summer items we had there (edit: Also, I had just escorted them for ~15 seconds to where it was so it wasn't so much of a "leave me alone I don't want to do anything," thing, we were still checking just in case). Really though the part that bugged me was just when I said; "We're sold out," and they insist I have no idea what they are asking for.

----


Of course another bad part about working at Bed Bath and Beyond is that drat movie Click or whatever it was.

We STILL have people who will prank call constantly and be like: "WHERE'S THE BEYOND SECTION?" Or people calling for the remote that lets you fast forward time and pause time and whatnot.

Much like two days ago. I was climbing down a ladder carrying a 14 piece stainless steel tri-ply cookware set and some guy walks up behind me while I'm walking down carrying this and he's like: "Sir, can you help me? Where's the Beyond section? AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

MaxDuo fucked around with this message at Oct 19, 2010 around 02:23

vortmax
Sep 24, 2008

Knowledge is power.
Power corrupts.
Study hard, be evil!


Not entirely retail, but still dealing with customers every day who want poo poo we can't deliver.

So why can't people plan a little bit in advance to get their laundry/pressing done? I had a guy come in today who had been told at least twice before (by me) that we can't get his pressing done in an hour, and yet he wants it done that fast. I said no, I've already got enough poo poo to do today, and at best we could have it back tomorrow. Of course he throws a fit about it, but I really can't loving care anymore. Luckily he ended up leaving, and I voided his ticket, but you'd think people who had already been told about this would get the idea after the first two times.

Dodgeball
Sep 24, 2003

Oh no! Dodgeball is really scary!


SpartanIV posted:

So today?

also, as I've posted before, I work at a Target Starbucks. So I not only have Target managers but also a Starbucks manager. After leaving work today I ran into my Starbucks district manager and her manager in a sandwich shop where I went for lunch. We started talking and she asked if I had heard about the manager position I applied for and through an amazing series of sentences, I managed to imply that another nearby Target Starbucks that is also in her district is filthy(which it is) in front of her boss. So that was an amazing foot-in-mouth moment and I'm still cursing myself for being an idiot but I'll apologize profusely next time I see her and hope she doesn't hold it against me(she will).

Did the Cowgirls play today? I know the Rangers are in NYC right now. Either way, today was my day off.

Do you work at the Target off of Green Oaks? My neighbor works at that one.

DaNerd
Sep 15, 2009

u br?


Starting my new job in retail at Paragon Sports in New York after about 8 months of unemployment.

I don't have any good crazy stories from my last retail stint and here's to hoping that I don't get any here either!

SpartanIV
May 18, 2007

Havin' a good time

Dodgeball posted:

Did the Cowgirls play today? I know the Rangers are in NYC right now. Either way, today was my day off.

Do you work at the Target off of Green Oaks? My neighbor works at that one.
Nope, the one in Euless.

How's business at your store? It always seems busy the few times I come in. I would expect with the economy being what it is, that discounted book stores like yours see an increase in business.

Dodgeball
Sep 24, 2003

Oh no! Dodgeball is really scary!


SpartanIV posted:

Nope, the one in Euless.

How's business at your store? It always seems busy the few times I come in. I would expect with the economy being what it is, that discounted book stores like yours see an increase in business.

It's busier than I'd like, but not as busy as the managing staff would like. On a personal note, I'd prefer the one customer that pays 100 dollars for a stash of books over 100 customers paying 1 dollar for a book. I understand that this isn't expansive enough of a business plan, I just hate ringing people up for 1 item at a time. It's like finding a penny in the parking lot 100 times vs. finding a dollar once. You're always going to remember that dollar...

ChirpChirpCheep
Apr 22, 2008


Dear Customers: I know that you think you are in a Starbucks. Perhaps it was the Starbucks menu that made you think this- or the fact that we are wearing Starbucks hats and aprons- or maybe it was the million signs up around the cafe that proudly display the Starbucks logo. We even sell Starbucks coffee! Yet, legally, we are not actually a Starbucks. We serve Starbucks coffee. So what? Well, when you come in here and order your Starbucks brand drinks in your Starbucks brand sizes, just like you would at your Starbucks, we are totally on board. But when you pull out your Starbucks gift card, as you inevitably will, HOLD THE PHONE. You see, we cannot honor those. We are not a Starbucks. What's that you say? You are confused by this? You are perhaps angered? You feel as if I am patronizing you by telling you that, against all reason, we are a [store name here] cafe that PROUDLY SERVES Starbucks coffee as opposed to a Starbucks? Sir or Madam, I am on your side here in agreeing with you that it is totally bogus. And I sympathize with your plight utterly. But I can assure you that your glares and your huffy noises and your frowns directed at me, as they are by literally every other person in the line you are standing in will not change the strange chimerical reality of the not-Starbucks you find yourselves trapped in. I promise you this.

Tanz-Kommandant
Dec 25, 2009

Radio Message from HQ:
Dance Commander
WE LOVE YOU


I work in a rather large organic and natural foods store and today I had to explain to this guy that the reason this organic milk is cheaper at other stores than at our store is because we do not have enough space nor inventory to purchase the milk in bulk quantities since it is against our company's core values to even have a 'backstock' area. So therefore we cannot order a metric shitton of milk to get a better deal and therefore cannot afford to mark the milk down to our competitor's price levels because then we would be turning negative profit. He then proceeded to complain profusely about how he has to drive a whole six blocks to the nearest Albertson's to get his milk for fifty cents less. He took roughly five minutes getting his rant out and then just left giving me dirty looks. These loving people.

We also have our regulars who come in all the time try to secretly slip in the door at 9:59 PM even though they know we close at 10:00 PM, take thirty minutes shopping and then expect to get god-like treatment at the checkstand because we recognize who they are. Oh how they are so wrong, SO WRONG. It's sad when we've had our shift leader on more than one occasion physically escort someone out of the store for harassing our team members, verbally and physically, for being politely told that he needs move to a check out lane so we can all finish up and go home. This one lady even forced the doors open after we had gone into lock down (to transfer the money from the floor safe to the counting room safe), oh how she got manhandled and then subsequently banned from the premises for that stunt. Her excuse? Her dog ran away and she was looking for it.

There is also a few victories that were spectacularly good, this one self righteous hag yelled at my bagger for bagging her porcelain plates in separate bags because she was going to be careful and didn't need to waste the paper bags. She then proceeded to put the plates into separate bags by herself. Told my bagger to go to hell, said she would call corporate and report us both. Then proceeded to drop her bag of porcelain plates while fumbling for her car keys. My bagger and I almost had tears in our eyes it was so glorious. Best part is she couldn't return them because they were on clearance and we wouldn't honor the return or exchange because all sales were final on them.

Another one is there was a bottle of baby oil that had broken and spilled on the floor, we immediately put down wet floor signs and cleaned the area. While cleaning the area some dumb broad obliviously walked through the spill area while playing on her iPhone, and took a huge spill as she was wearing stilettos. We instantly offered her assistance and asked if she would like to fill out an incident report form and see our shift leader, she refused to speak to anybody and just went to the checkstand to check out. When the cashier put out the page to the shifty she realized pretty fast that it was in fact a huge deal and proceeded to play it up as hard as she could. What she didn't realize is that a police officer that comes in often and knows everybody in the store watched her take the spill and refuse help, so he volunteered to give an accident report to our store leadership absolving us of any negligence in the matter so when she came back and tried to sue our store for just exactly that she found out really fast that she should have just accepted our help in the first place because not only did we have that but we had it all taped on CCTV. The case got thrown out before it even started. Thanks for playing!

I'll have more stories later, I get at least one a day since our stores' customer base is the most hosed-in-the-head people in the world. No joke.

The General
Mar 4, 2007

So gentlemen, we meet again.


ChirpChirpCheep posted:

Dear Customers: I know that you think you are in a Starbucks. Perhaps it was the Starbucks menu that made you think this- or the fact that we are wearing Starbucks hats and aprons- or maybe it was the million signs up around the cafe that proudly display the Starbucks logo. We even sell Starbucks coffee! Yet, legally, we are not actually a Starbucks. We serve Starbucks coffee. So what? Well, when you come in here and order your Starbucks brand drinks in your Starbucks brand sizes, just like you would at your Starbucks, we are totally on board. But when you pull out your Starbucks gift card, as you inevitably will, HOLD THE PHONE. You see, we cannot honor those. We are not a Starbucks. What's that you say? You are confused by this? You are perhaps angered? You feel as if I am patronizing you by telling you that, against all reason, we are a [store name here] cafe that PROUDLY SERVES Starbucks coffee as opposed to a Starbucks? Sir or Madam, I am on your side here in agreeing with you that it is totally bogus. And I sympathize with your plight utterly. But I can assure you that your glares and your huffy noises and your frowns directed at me, as they are by literally every other person in the line you are standing in will not change the strange chimerical reality of the not-Starbucks you find yourselves trapped in. I promise you this.
To be fair, that's pretty hosed.

baquerd
Jul 2, 2007
Don't take advice from me, because I'm an idiot.

The General posted:

To be fair, that's pretty hosed.

His store manager would probably be in legal poo poo with Starbucks if they caught wind of it. You can't just put up signage, use the uniforms, and claim you're another store. <Regional Grocery Store> cannot dress their employees up in wal-mart uniforms, put up the sign, etc. just because they're reselling merchandise bought from them.

Avalanche
Feb 2, 2007


SpartanIV posted:

So today?

also, as I've posted before, I work at a Target Starbucks. So I not only have Target managers but also a Starbucks manager. After leaving work today I ran into my Starbucks district manager and her manager in a sandwich shop where I went for lunch. We started talking and she asked if I had heard about the manager position I applied for and through an amazing series of sentences, I managed to imply that another nearby Target Starbucks that is also in her district is filthy(which it is) in front of her boss. So that was an amazing foot-in-mouth moment and I'm still cursing myself for being an idiot but I'll apologize profusely next time I see her and hope she doesn't hold it against me(she will).

Oh dear. I thought I was the only unlucky goon to work at one of these shitholes...

My place is a loving disaster. We typically only have one barista working on fri/sat/sun at any given time since management apparently cannot spare us any loving hours. This means angry guests, and the fast service button going off 6 times an hour. Every single day I work, I have to deal with at least one rear end in a top hat blowing up in my face over hosed up wait times. Ive spoken to management about it, and even had a 30min private chat with the store team lead about it; no one cares.

The bar itself is a disgusting cesspool of crusted milk, and rapidly growing pathogens just waiting to give someone a throat infection. We dont even have a sanitizing sink, so pitchers are rinsed with water, and instantly put back for use without any disinfecting at all. I spend every shift scraping crusted, spoiled milk off of various areas of the espresso machine and the bar. And yes, this poo poo is in incredibly close proximity to where I actually have to queue drink cups, and milk pitchers. I imagine that this stuff makes its way into cups all the time. There is dust everywhere; parts under the bar have not been cleaned in over two years.

So Avalanche, why do you let this place get so hosed up? I have no time to clean anything, and occasionally get chewed out by management for doing anything but my normal function. There is always a constant stream of guests, and with only 1 loving barista; it is impossible to do anything else. I either get the choice of serving guests, or telling guests to go gently caress themselves while I clean the entire place. Most people I work with are burned out, and some of the new hires are having near panic attacks from dealing with tons of angry, strung out meth addicts for customers.

My manager is never there. I think I had a conversation with the manager that lasted more than 2 minutes maybe 2 weeks ago. But of course, i get delegated most of the management tasks. I have to train everyone, do the orders, do basic inventory, speak with the ETLs/STL about the "state" of the shithole, write up training documents, train myself on new store promotions, and even train myself on every little detail about crappy starfucks coffee.

Do I get a promotion? gently caress no. Raise? "Oh, heres $.20!. $9/hour yay!" Forget the fact that I have the best sales figures, the best customer satisfaction survey scores, solve a shitload of problems the ETLs have no idea how to even respond to, and a degree from a very well respected west coast university, no one sees fit to bump me up to a more prominent role. I dont "fit" with Target slave culture, so everyone views me as some random outsider. I was written up a few days ago because a GSTL timed one of my breaks, and found that I came back 2 minutes late. The morning ETLs cant even open the front door on time to let me into the store to punch in. Of course I punch in late, and it is magically my fault; apparently standing in the cold 10minutes prior to my shift is not EARLY ENOUGH. There is not even a single minute of downtime. Work like a machine for 8 hours, or get written up. Ironically, management loves to talk on their cell phones on the floor...

I really wish I could leave this place behind, but this town has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. I just cant get out of here no matter what I do. I have not been able to get a decent night of sleep in over 6 months. I keep waking up in 3 hour intervals, sometimes with an incredibly fast heart rate that wont slow down unless I get up and sit down for 10 minutes or so. Hence why I am awake NOW writing this wall of text 4 hours before my loving shift.

gently caress.

At this point in my life, i would have no problem sitting in Afghanistan for a year getting shot at every single day if it meant that I would not have to work at Target anymore. One of our GSAs just got done doing a tour over there, and is already thinking about going back because he cant stand being in the store more than twice a week.

ladymikochan
Mar 15, 2006

A-hunting I will go! A-hunting I will go! Hi-ho the derri-o! With a vagina full of bees!


Ok work is starting to suck major, rancid donkey nuts. Since we are not a high volume store, our sales are not what they should be according to corporate. Now that in of itself is not a major problem since a lot of stores in our area are not hitting the sales quota. We are new to the area and eventually they will tone down the budget so our goals are more realistic. That is not the problem. Nor is it our service plan rate-we usually hit the quota for that. What is the problem is our conversion rate. IE-how many people come into the store and buy something versus just look around and leave.

We've got a little door counter that gets tapped every time a customer,over 5 feet tall (little kids don't count) comes into the store. That for us, stinks. People like to browse around or pick out some stuff and come back when they got the cash for it. We had to do a few things to ahem improve it. Mostly by sticking on the customers like flies on poo poo and making sure they at least by a little 2.50 umbrella, or a 1.00 can of spray cleaner and ringing up say 4 of said umbrellas individually instead of changing the quantity to 4. But then there is another little thing they decided to do that I can sense that one day will result in more than half of the store staff just walking out one day.

You see in my lovely little state of MD, the law only requires that an employer give a single half hour for lunch no matter how many hours you work. This translates is, even if you work 12 hours, you only get a half hour for lunch. Now the company is nice, and gives us one unpaid hour for lunch which gets covered since we all work a 9 hour shift. That is cool. What is not cool is this, we do not get any other breaks unless our managers want to be nice. This would not be a problem except, me and nearly the entire store including the store manager smoke. And they are starting to get really hard on smoke breaks.

In the mornings when we open, everyone rushes out before the counter goes up, that is fine. Then I smoke on my lunch, fine. But trying to get that last smoke break so I don't up and kill someone is hell on earth. I work at the info desk and unlike the warehouse who after rolling out a large thing or two will light up or a salesman who might do the same thing or just jaw with the customer outside, will also light up before coming back in. I can't do that. I usually got make sure that I can rush out with the next batch of addicts to get my fix.

Now I know everyone is going to say, why don't you just quit smoking it is so bad for you. Ahem gently caress YOU! . If I could quit I would have by now. I have tried three times and failed. And to be honest I don't smoke that much at work to quite justify getting the electronic cigarette. Although I think that is what I am going to have to do when I get the cash. I can smoke in the store if I had one of those babies-two guys already do.

But barring that, I don't see myself being able to quit within the next few months. And since in my lovely little state, you can get fired if the boss does not like you, I get the feeling that if things get real bad, any smokers not willing to quit are going to get the sack. Like I said, nearly everyone in the store is a smoker and with the problems they have had hiring the required people to man the store, if they did fire all of us, that store is going to be loving empty for months.

Retail may suck for you guys too, but in MD it REALLY sucks. Stupid loving non-existent labor laws! Aren't you supposed to loving protect my rights to destroy my body if I want to?

::end rant::

And no, I will not quit smoking until I find a way that works for me. It is a drug and I am addicted, so there ::thuuppp!::

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006


Avalanche posted:

Oh dear. I thought I was the only unlucky goon to work at one of these shitholes...

My place is a loving disaster. We typically only have one barista working on fri/sat/sun at any given time since management apparently cannot spare us any loving hours. This means angry guests, and the fast service button going off 6 times an hour. Every single day I work, I have to deal with at least one rear end in a top hat blowing up in my face over hosed up wait times. Ive spoken to management about it, and even had a 30min private chat with the store team lead about it; no one cares.

Report your boss to the local health agency! I work in food safety, and this is some very serious poo poo.

You can make it clear to the agency that you're simply not allowed enough hours. When they hear that you have only one person working during your busy times it should be very clear to the inspector that the issue is staffing not employee performance.

You can generally report this poo poo anonymously, so you're safe. If you have a customer with a compromised immune system this business is putting their health at risk, so there's a good moral reason to report. You hate your boss and they don't give a gently caress, so gently caress them back.

Don't be the guy that says, "oh gosh, this isn't my problem, I don't want to make waves". Someone is going to get very sick, and you can either prevent it or let it happen.

minusX
Jun 16, 2007

Say something hideous and horrible jumps out at you. Something so disgusting that it simply must die.
Ah! Oh!..So tacky! I can't...look...directly at it!


A Dapper Man posted:

Gah, motherfuckin' Best Buy. My parents wanted to buy my wife and I a Wii as a combined birthday present. So we go to BB and ask. The stock guy actually tried to tell us that Nintendo had stopped production on them (this was 6 months ago, mind). So we went to the local grocery/department store (Meijer, for those of you in the midwest) where they had about 20 in stock. I haven't been back to Best Buy since.
They did for a while, and then released the new Wii bundles with Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort and adding the black color. So yeah, they didn't lie(exactly) you just picked a wrong time to look for them.

minusX fucked around with this message at Oct 19, 2010 around 18:54

Beastie
Nov 3, 2006

They used to call me tricky-kid, I lived the life they wish they did.

"The store will be closing in five minutes" announcement does not mean run into the fitting room to try on that mountain of clothes in your cart. It means get your fat rear end to the register to buy your poo poo and leave. It's a saturday night and I have somewhere to be!

less than three
Aug 9, 2007

Fire Sights and LED Lights

ESC 2010 Never Forget

baquerd posted:

His store manager would probably be in legal poo poo with Starbucks if they caught wind of it. You can't just put up signage, use the uniforms, and claim you're another store. <Regional Grocery Store> cannot dress their employees up in wal-mart uniforms, put up the sign, etc. just because they're reselling merchandise bought from them.
Yes they can.

Starbucks licenses their brand when they wouldn't be able to get their product in a location otherwise. Starbucks calls them "Licensed Concepts"

Sort of like a franchise. It looks like a Starbucks, but is run by somebody else. They generally don't accept Starbucks cards.

Some places off the top of my head: Airports, University campuses, retail stores (Safeway/Target)

The "Starbucks" in the Safeway are Safeway employees. The one at the airport are HMS employees, etc.

Here's a list of licensed concepts.

edit: What did you think the guy's manager went and stole a bunch of Starbucks stuff and did up his store?

less than three fucked around with this message at Oct 19, 2010 around 21:27

FISHMANPET
Mar 3, 2007



less than three posted:

Here's a list of licensed concepts.

edit: What did you think the guy's manager went and stole a bunch of Starbucks stuff and did up his store?

I think he did think that.

That being said, the guy that runs that website is basically crazy, and has terrible web design. How in the hell does he make money to travel the continent (and the world) to buy overpriced coffee?

threnody_grey
Jun 27, 2010


Dear Customers: The bowling alley closes at MIDNIGHT. No, you can't spend another hour here because you suck at pool. No, we can't turn your lane back on so you can finish the last seven frames of your game because you ignored the "We will be shutting the lanes down in ten minutes" announcement. No, we can't pop popcorn/make a pizza/bake cookies/fix a Blue Motorcycle a half-hour after the last call announcement. And no, we DON'T want your dirty socks, so please quit leaving them on the tables!

less than three
Aug 9, 2007

Fire Sights and LED Lights

ESC 2010 Never Forget

FISHMANPET posted:

That being said, the guy that runs that website is basically crazy, and has terrible web design. How in the hell does he make money to travel the continent (and the world) to buy overpriced coffee?

Not sure. It was just the first link in Google for licensed stores.

Dodgeball
Sep 24, 2003

Oh no! Dodgeball is really scary!


Week 3 Retail Report:
I have yet to run into any real problems. So far, so good. There is, however, a list of people that I could do without:

1. Phone Talkers. Either at the counter or around the store. I don't care what growth you had to have removed from which body part. I don't care that your cousin Dale just got fired for selling store merchandise. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS' GRADES. You are in a public area and I just heard you give out some personal info I don't need to know. It's worse at the counter because I can't tell you the price of the books you purchased without feeling like I'm interrupting your obviously 'too-important-to-put-the-phone-down-phone-call.'

2. Indecisive People. An appropriate response to "Would you like a bag?" is "Yes." or "No." Not "I don't care." My company makes a 5 cent donation to a charitable cause each time a customer declines a bag. It doesn't matter if you just bought a bookmark, if you say no, that charity gets some cash. I have to put that in as a line item BEFORE I accept payment. If you say, "No, I don't need a bag" and I've already taken money from you and you say "Actually, yeah gimme a bag." Great. I just 'lied.' The opposite is even worse, because then the charity doesn't get that nickel.

3. Anyone who pays with a check. gently caress. YOU. It's 2010. The ONLY time you should EVER use a check is if you are paying your rent, or sending a gift to your grandchildren. To anyone who doesn't know, here's what I have to do to ring up a check:
-Make sure the dollar amount is correct. Did you write $19.84 instead of $18.94? Apologize to the line behind you and start over.
-Check the date. I don't work the same days each week. I don't know what day it is. We can't accept post dated checks.
-Check their ID to make sure the names and addresses match. Then write down their ID number, expiration date and telephone number.
-Run the check through Telecheck to see if they approve it. Not approved? Thanks for wasting 5 minutes.
-Approved? Write the approval code and initial.

Want to know what I have to ring up a debit card?
-Swipe card. Transaction over.

I get psyched out, too, because people will break out their checkbook and I'll silently groan. But they just use the ledger in the back to track their expenses and hand me their debit card and I'll breathe a sigh of relief. But now, I can't tell if they're going to do that or write a goddamn check.

The company I work for is totally Green. The donation for declining a bag goes to an environmental charity. We sell reusable bags. The whole company was founded on the principle that being successful does not exclude being environmentally responsible. Checks waste paper and time; we should totally have a promotion that supports their abolishment.

TL;DR- Get off your phone. Make up your drat mind. People who pay with checks are Satan's rear end in a top hat.

MAKE NO BABBYS
Jan 28, 2010


less than three posted:

Yes they can.

Starbucks licenses their brand when they wouldn't be able to get their product in a location otherwise. Starbucks calls them "Licensed Concepts"

Sort of like a franchise. It looks like a Starbucks, but is run by somebody else. They generally don't accept Starbucks cards.

Some places off the top of my head: Airports, University campuses, retail stores (Safeway/Target)

The "Starbucks" in the Safeway are Safeway employees. The one at the airport are HMS employees, etc.

Here's a list of licensed concepts.

edit: What did you think the guy's manager went and stole a bunch of Starbucks stuff and did up his store?

I hate these because I want to tip my barista and it is COMPLETELY AGAINST POLICY TO LET THEM ACCEPT TIPS. THEY HAVE TO PUT IT BACK IN THE REGISTER. UGHHHHH. I've written complaints and spoken to managers every time I've encountered it but it makes me SO loving MAD. WHAT I DO WITH MY MONEY IS MY loving BUSINESS. Starbucks is the devil anyhow, but Peets and other companies do it too.

I ended up having to run into target for a shirt for work at the last minute the other evening and needed coffee really bad and I bought a coffee at one of those... I felt awful that I couldn't tip the poor girl. Luckily she came into my bar later and I bought her a drink

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Avalanche
Feb 2, 2007


Solkanar512 posted:

Report your boss to the local health agency! I work in food safety, and this is some very serious poo poo.

You can make it clear to the agency that you're simply not allowed enough hours. When they hear that you have only one person working during your busy times it should be very clear to the inspector that the issue is staffing not employee performance.

You can generally report this poo poo anonymously, so you're safe. If you have a customer with a compromised immune system this business is putting their health at risk, so there's a good moral reason to report. You hate your boss and they don't give a gently caress, so gently caress them back.

Don't be the guy that says, "oh gosh, this isn't my problem, I don't want to make waves". Someone is going to get very sick, and you can either prevent it or let it happen.

Lets just say that this may or may not have already been attempted by "someone" and someone else. Management knew exactly what was going on since informing management about multiple problems, and the timing of the surprise health visit that may or may not of happened was way too coincidental. Three people ended up leaving in frustration, and nothing got fixed. For whatever reason, the health inspectors do not write the place up for anything, and the place is always "green" regardless of how hosed up it actually is.

I dont know what to do at this point other than get the gently caress out. It is cheaper for the company to get written up for health issues, and slap on a quick fix for the next visit than it is to actually staff the place well enough to fix the problem for good.

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