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IS THIS A MAN, MAN?
MAN
WOMAN
LADY-MAN
Man or woman, just go get some goddamn truck stop sex.....and one of those sweet rear end 12 volt hot plates.
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HogX
Aug 16, 2008



It's not gay truckstop sex if you close your eyes the entire time. Go for it.


edit: Also, it's a man. Don't let that stop you. Maybe he knows how to suck a cock really well.

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TheHigherEnd
Jul 21, 2006
-not suitable for any living thing

Tossed_Salad_Man posted:

Takes about an hour to get to the truckstop. Should I get there early and shop around, or get there and walk right in?

I would say about 5 minutes early. I mean, I'm not sure what proper etiquette is for random sex in a truck stop manager's office is, but you want to be timely without appearing too eager or desperate... wait...

You at least want to give her time to get everything tucked into place, lower the lights, etc.

Lexorin
Jul 5, 2000



You're gonna get murdered. Have fun!

If the guy really wanted to lure someone in to murder them he could have at least used a picture of a real truck stop whore or something...

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010
i hated your big dumb ugly macklemore av so i changed it

well cya

Bash Ironfist posted:

edit: Also, it's a man. Don't let that stop you. Maybe he knows how to suck a cock really well.

It's only logical that someone that has both had his dick sucked and sucked dicks is better at it then a woman who has only ever sucked dick.

Gravitas Shortfall
Jul 17, 2007

Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.


Zombies' Downfall posted:

Always one in every crowd, why don't you just throw a lighted match into GBS to watch it burn

Hey, he asked. vv Also it's true, unless it's a fetishistic transvestite I guess? Man I don't know, I voted "just do it".

Gravitas Shortfall fucked around with this message at Jul 14, 2010 around 22:07

Tokelau All Star
Feb 23, 2008

THE TAXES! THE FINGER THING MEANS THE TAXES!

KICK HIS rear end SEABASS!

I love this thread

The Tao Jones
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

--Showing up too early for appointments is generally inconsiderate. Be there on time.

--Leave the thread open.

--Some sort of post hoc evidence that you actually did this would be awesome.

antiloquax
Feb 23, 2008

by Ozma


Get there early enough to buy tampons for your soon-to-be-torn rear end in a top hat.

Petr
Oct 3, 2000

by T. Finninho


If she turns out to have a pussy, are you going to ask her if she's post-op?

scalded schlong
Sep 20, 2003




Nice.

Voted woman, but you should still insist on calling her "Master".

DrGreatJob
Oct 3, 2006

we fuck each other very well and we have a lot of energy from eating plantfoods


What state do you live in?

Tossed_Salad_Man
Feb 19, 2002

You Gon' Get Raped.


BlueberryMuffins posted:

What state do you live in?

NC, not saying which truckstop. I don't need no goddamn cheering section/audience.

HogX
Aug 16, 2008



FreudianSlippers posted:

It's only logical that someone that has both had his dick sucked and sucked dicks is better at it then a woman who has only ever sucked dick.

That's true. He'll know just what feels good. Having had his dick sucked, and also sucked dicks.


If he demands you gently caress him, slap a condom on. Unless he's so loose that your cock won't touch the sides. Then just go hog wild!


Also, be careful. Person might have mental issues.

Dead Precedents
May 4, 2005
Squirrels are the true enemy.


Weiner Hog posted:



He's going to get raped and murdered, that's the least of his problems.

DrGreatJob
Oct 3, 2006

we fuck each other very well and we have a lot of energy from eating plantfoods


Dude, I wouldn't loving go if you paid me to.

Zombies' Downfall
Aug 20, 2005

That which was the holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet possessed has bled to death under our knives.


Gravitas Shortfall posted:

unless it's a fetishistic transvestite I guess?

That wig and dress with no makeup? Where's the question at here

Petr posted:

If she turns out to have a pussy, are you going to ask her if she's post-op?

Yeah and if she turns out to have magical powers he can ask her what wizard's academy she went to while he's at it

Tossed_Salad_Man
Feb 19, 2002

You Gon' Get Raped.


BlueberryMuffins posted:

Dude, I wouldn't loving go if you paid me to.

Why not. It's a sorta public place. It's not in the back of the parking lot or in the wooded lot across the road.

Dead Cow
Nov 3, 2009

Passion makes the world go round.
Love just makes it a safer place.


That totally looks like a dude, except when I look at the collar bone structure, it looks feminine to me.

"In the female, the clavicle is generally shorter, thinner, less curved, and smoother than in the male." -http://www.theodora.com/anatomy/the_clavicle.html

So I dunno, but have fun.

Zombies' Downfall
Aug 20, 2005

That which was the holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet possessed has bled to death under our knives.


All of that aside on the condition that you go and post a report in this thread I'll five it and I'm sure lots of other people will too, so you should weigh your continued health against how much you'd value having a new goldmined thread!

Zachsta
Jun 13, 2007

by T. Fine


I don't know what everyone's talking about. That's clearly a woman and she looks very pretty to me. Have fun on your date!

DrGreatJob
Oct 3, 2006

we fuck each other very well and we have a lot of energy from eating plantfoods


Tossed_Salad_Man posted:

Why not. It's a sorta public place. It's not in the back of the parking lot or in the wooded lot across the road.

I was replying to when you said you didn't want an audience.


Regardless, it is exactly like in the back of a parking lot or the wooded lot across the road. In North Carolina, there's no safe zone. I've been there.

bawbzilla
Sep 8, 2006


Tossed_Salad_Man posted:

Why not. It's a sorta public place. It's not in the back of the parking lot or in the wooded lot across the road.

Bring a friend if they won't think you're super crazy. Also, go early and scout it out to see if you can spot the person going in. Be like a goddamn spy, and be sure to photodocument the entire adventure (tell them you have memory problems sometimes and like to take pictures so if you ever forget what's going on you can sort through your camera and get a quick reminder).

13 INCH DICK
Aug 23, 2006

Have you ever heard of a trouser spider?


so how did you meet this lovely lady for truck stop sex anyways

Sombrerotron
Aug 1, 2004

Release my children! My hat is truly great and mighty.

Bash Ironfist posted:

If he demands you gently caress him, slap a condom on. Unless he's so loose that your cock won't touch the sides. Then just go hog wild!
What would be the point of furiously thrusting at (unpleasant-smelling) air?

Sire Oblivion
Apr 22, 2008

Down the Rabbit Hole.


If there aren't any pictures you're going to disappoint us; gently caress it just bring a camera so we can hear how deep her voice is at the same time.

Juriko
Jan 28, 2006


Tell that bitch to get a better wig, that poo poo is just tacky.

friends watch porn
May 7, 2007


smoke  weed  everyday


I like your new av.

MrBigglesworth
Mar 26, 2005

Lover of Fuzzy Meatloaf

There had better be a full after trip report for this for proper resolution. DONT YOU loving BLUE BALL US ON THE RESULTS!

Grampy Bone
Jun 16, 2008


All you sexy lady man ladies, with your sexy lady bits, and your sexy man bits too, even you must be in to youhoohoooo

HogX
Aug 16, 2008



What you should do is bring a condom, then ask them if they want you to wear it. If they say no, put it on anyways because you don't want to catch something. If they say yes, wear it, then you know it's safe to go bareback!

Tossed_Salad_Man
Feb 19, 2002

You Gon' Get Raped.


14 INCH DICK TURBO posted:

so how did you meet this lovely lady for truck stop sex anyways

Hello cupid. Got sorta straight to the point. Sorta like random encounters on Craigslist but it was hello cupid and truck stop restaurant managers office.

JammyLammy
Dec 23, 2009


Bring camera to record event. Need it for research.

Yzur
May 15, 2010


Quoth Lou Reed:

"Plucked her eyebrows on the way
shaved her leg and then he was a she
She says, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
said, hey honey, take a walk on the wild side"

... Man

HogX
Aug 16, 2008



Tossed_Salad_Man posted:

Hello cupid. Got sorta straight to the point. Sorta like random encounters on Craigslist but it was hello cupid and truck stop restaurant managers office.

So you guys were like 'hey, you know what I like? Random sexual encounters in truck stops with men!' and then were like 'hey! me too!'

I hope it's love at first suck

A Kimbasaur
Jul 13, 2010


Go for it dude. When you see him, compliment his legs, because that cleavage is going to disapear the second that padded bra comes off.

Will Styles
Jan 19, 2005


Hopefully you have a laptop and a broadband card or something so you can update us from the road. Also, include (work safe) pictures.

I voted for the last option, so you should also get the cool hot plate.

Pyroxene Stigma
Nov 30, 2005

Hey,Larry!! Your alibi completely collapsed !!!



Good lord I am excited to hear how this goes.

AxeManiac
Nov 13, 2000

Always Drinking

Pyroxene Stigma posted:

Good lord I am excited to hear how this goes.

I'm sure we will hear something on the news about this.

ChubbyEmoBabe
Sep 6, 2003

-=|NMN|=-


Zahgaegun posted:

OTOH, only a woman would buy a flowery-rear end chair like that.

Yep, his rotting grandma in the basement.

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Sharpe
Aug 17, 2005

Trust me.

This is by far the funniest goddamn thread I've seen in quite a while.

TSM, maybe you should read up on truck stop stranger office sex etiquette. There's gotta be a manual or a brochure somewhere.

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