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Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Captain Charisma posted:

Solution: Get rid of all the retarded between innings jumbotron horseshit

I get that we take baseball seriously and poo poo during the game is dumb but really, are we hating on between-inning stuff? GOD DAMMIT TURN DOWN THAT MUSIC AND LET ME JUST EAT MY HOT DOG AND CROSSCHECK MY SCORECARD WITH GAMEDAY IN PEACE

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Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Badfinger posted:

Do blogs by well known stupid people count as Sports Journalism?

Here's a piece by Will Carroll that starts off mentioning that Roy Halladay doesn't know what his xFIP is, so advanced statisticians don't know how to tell stories... or something?

http://presscoverage.us/soapbox/the-geek-shall-inherit-on-baseball-bill-james-storytelling-the-simpsons/

This is amazing, each separate paragraph is a different detached thought that never quite completes itself. I wish FJM was still around just for this.

quote:

Geek met geek when Bill James’ animated self showed up on The Simpsons this weekend. While that was happening, I was at a baseball game.

Something about baseball stats was on tv last night. Fortunately I wasn't watching tv because I love baseball

quote:

The Phillies are headed deeper into the playoffs and somewhere in their front office, they have a guy that understands the most advanced numbers, has Fangraphs bookmarked, and will help Ruben Amaro this offseason. The players? They just have their big paychecks, big houses, and might someday sit where Joe Morgan or Mitch Williams is sitting now. The statheads? Unless they find their story or their storyteller, right where they are now.

Players and front office types make money off baseball. The statheads... what? And where do normal fans fit in? Do they get mansions or do they "right where they are now"?

quote:

Me? I was never one that followed and now, Prospectus in my rear view, I can easily reject that false god. I’m not rejecting facts, just the inability to tell a story, see beyond a spreadsheet, or acknowledge that other people have some things to teach me, whether it’s a scout, a Trainer, or a writer who’s been watching ball games since before VORP was a twinkle in Keith Woolner’s eye.

I’d rather watch Halladay pitch anyway.

Statheads will never know the joy of watching Halladay pitch.

Actually with the frequent mentions of leaving BP behind it feels like he watched Mad Men last night and thought "Oh that's cool I too will write an open letter about how I have evolved beyond my former employer/client".

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

A drat FOG posted:

And furthermore, even if there were some overwhelming majority of people who were totally disinterested in the mystique and aura of baseball (there isn't), who loving cares? Who is Will Carroll to tell those people that what they enjoy is wrong?? If he's not disputing the legitimacy of the stats, what is his point about anything at all. Even granting him the straw man, what he's saying is stupid.

ON top of that the entire article is wholly incoherent and reads like the ramblings of a crazy man. It opens with the implication that watching The Simpsons means you are less of a baseball fan than someone who attended the NLDS last night, and it ends with the implication that if you enjoy stats you cannot watch Roy Halladay pitch.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Pete Abe tweets about his female coworkers which is even more uncomfortable.

The best part about his whole "can't tell a story" angle is that he himself doesn't seem able to tell a story. If I were reading this in a vacuum I would think "No wonder these 'statheads' ignore your stories, because those stories are pretty vague and boring."

The only "story" he offers is a quick blurb about something Curt Schilling did, followed by the imagined idea of what he wants to believe Curt Schilling was thinking, that Carroll is passing off as the truth. Which is a pretty great example of the kind of bullshit invented narrative that is driving people away from sports journalism. Go publish some poems or write a novel if you want to flex your creative muscle, don't get pissed that people ignore your made-up stories. He wants "baseball fans" to be "baseball fanfiction fans".


Skimmed it again because why the hell not:

quote:

Sciambi wrote a great article at BPro earlier this year, starting with a story about how a question about stats directed at Chipper Jones ended up with a nasty look up at the booth. It was a great anecdote … and precisely the kind of thing that statheads don’t understand. Moneyball wasn’t an amazing series of facts; it was an amazing story, told by one of America’s master storytellers.

A) Chipper Jones doesn't like being asked about stats.
B) This is what statheads don't understand.
C) Amazing stories are better than amazing series' of facts.

Try to connect A, B, and C into a coherent stream of thought.

Tender Bender fucked around with this message at 04:11 on Oct 12, 2010

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

stuart scott irl posted:

Not sure if this counts as "journalism" but I was watching Monday Night Football last night and heard this gem:

Thanks for posting this, I saw it being tweeted about and was curious but missed it in the actual broadcast. Disgusting.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

The best part is referring to getting caught raping people as "adversity".

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Why does the Philly media hate Utley again? He's just been... really consistently awesome for them. Like I don't see anything he's done that would make him a scapegoat at all.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

quote:

Todd Walker uses his mortuary job to scare his youth football players straight. Kobe's presence in the ad isn't helping.

Walker gives funeral-home tours to every team he coaches. He tries to hammer home the reality of death by putting kids in cardboard cremation boxes. He shows them the tools he uses to drain bodily fluids and the chemicals he uses to prepare bodies.

:stare: this is the guy who thinks Kobe pretending to be in the army is bad for kids?

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

quote:

Philadelphia pulled another Rocky Balboa and threw one of the most improbable punches in the history of the great American sport known as free agency.

*Marquee free agent signs in large market city for huge cash*

"WHAT AN IMPROBABLE PUNCH!"


edit: Wait what

quote:

Of the three free agents who signed deals in excess of $100 million this winter, two signed with the Red Sox, and the other jilted the Yankees like they haven't been jilted since Marilyn Monroe divorced Joe D.

Tender Bender fucked around with this message at 09:45 on Dec 14, 2010

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

zakharov posted:

Watching sportsdome right now...I deem it "moderately amusing."

I thought it was good but the A-Rod musical was a really weird bungling of a potentially great premise.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

There was a thing about how his nickname was "bitch-tits" but given how ripped he is it's like lol your pecs are massive rather than the traditional fatty manboobs.

Also how is the pop-up an embarrassing moment for A-Rod, did they intend to put that in an "A-Rod's most ownage moments" slideshow?

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

The broken bones posted:

A-Rod really doesn't get enough credit for how awesome of a troll he is. He literally stepped on a mound one time and the pitcher lost his poo poo.

Where's that shooing away gif?

Getting rich, loving Madonna, under a portrait of yourself as a half-man half-horse mythical beast. :golfclap:

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

leokitty posted:

loving Kate Hudson: totally embarrassing!

Sportsdome should do a recurring sketch where A-Rod does completely awesome things and gets "caught" and he's all embarrassed and everyone laughs at him.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Badfinger posted:

gently caress, Pearlman went to University of Delaware? :suicide:

Please do not think he is representative of the education you can receive at that fine institution.

Also that's pretty loving insulting to suggest the basketball team's mandatory slutting around. I know that being a big-sport varsity player is license to pimp, but jesus.

No one should ever say "lil' somethin' somethin" ever.

Haha I was about to make this post. My heart sank when I realized I will forever be linked to Jeff Pearlman.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Crazy Ted posted:

Thanks Rick I'm going to have to actively root for Jimmer Fredette to become an NBA All-Star thanks to you.

And to think he gets paid five million dollars per year to crap out pieces like this.

I don't know anything about basketball and that piece infuriates me because he just rails against this guy while giving no real information. Aside from a few vague references to "paying attention to defense" I have no idea what the author is trying to convey or why this bad game is supposed to override the rest of Jimmer's career. I assume Jimmer is normally very good because otherwise this article would be pointless, but why am I supposed to think this one game means more than his previous good games unless there is some Space Jam scenario where his power has been sapped? Does Jimmer suck against good teams or something? I have no idea. It's just terrible writing from start to finish.

The only really notable piece of information is the no-context quote from a teammate about how his defense has been getting worse all year. It's not followed up on though so I don't know what the reason for this might be or if it's something that can be expected to continue into his NBA career.

Tender Bender fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Mar 28, 2011

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

i just slid into my desk chair headfirst

Laughed too hard at this and I hate that none of my real-life friends understand the finer points of ironic baseball references.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Toona the Cat posted:

directly attributed to the obscene number (70%) of black kids being born out of wedlock

Are you guys quoting the same article or does he reference this in like everything he writes?

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

leokitty posted:

I'm mourning the death of my baseball son how can I be expected to have a sense of humor :negative:

He will rise again in three days. This had to happen. Philbert died for our dingers. It is no coincidence that we could not score runs this day.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

The biggest Key to the Game tonight is: score runs. You don't have to be a Tony LaRussa caliber genius to know that Roy Halladay and the Phillies offense are not to be trifled with. So the Marlins are gonna have to focus on scoring some runs to make sure they can put tonight in the W column.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

BITCH I SELL CAINE posted:

It's a paraphrasing. You should really watch this whole thing, but this link'll take you right to the part.

what I'd like to know is why the picture is some guy edited onto Big Bear Doin Thangs

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

stuart scott irl posted:

this made me sad

I don't think she really killed the cat with regular water.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

The Latin American player quote is bad but I would agree that anyone who doesn't follow baseball has no idea who Jose Bautista is.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

The thing about the Arroyo slap is it's such a dumb embarrassing thing, but it's brought up as if to show what a mean cheating rear end in a top hat A-Rod is.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Having barely followed the NL this year, what's the deal with Puig? He's really good and makes an error now and then and so the media hates him?

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Yeah I'm all for players being dicks to the media but all I get from this thing is that David Price seems like a douchey baby.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

I wonder how that dude feels about welfare programs (hint he only thinks the children of wealthy nfl players deserve to be provided for)

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Yeah okay coaches are going to make sure their star players spend lots of time studying The History of Football and Kinesiology.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Sash! posted:

My concept would basically still have all the same coursework as any other B.A. The only difference is that you'd have football or whatever count for more than the 1.5 credit hours of physical education that it does now. I don't know what classes they'd be taking for "football" to get it up there to make it have enough credits. Maybe classes that help with learning how to coach or even breaking down position skills into a class.

Still gotta have your nine credits of arts or whatever too. Obvviously players wouldn't be required to major in football and I think that the hard part would be keeping coaches from forcing players into it when they really do want something else out of their education.

It's definitely a fine idea, it just doesn't address the fact that the institution from the top down doesn't care about the players' futures and often directly impedes them from engaging in worthwhile pursuits. "The hard part" is convincing coaches and university officials that players are human beings and not money generating sacks of meat. When you're talking about players who can't read and literally never set foot in a classroom it doesn't matter if the class they're phantom attending is Bio 101 or Introduction to Tackling.

I mean it is a decent idea though it just sucks that the whole situation is so terrible

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Students who engage in extracurricular activities are awesome. What isn't awesome is when young adults sacrifice their health and are encouraged to push aside the education they receive as compensation for being underpaid entertainers in million-dollar industries.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

The takeaway from the reactions to the article, even by some people in this thread, is that many people don't realize that being transgender is a legitimate thing. Dr. V was a transgendered person who happened to be a con artist, yet the two are listed side by side as though one supports the other. This isn't some Mrs. Doubtfire poo poo, it's not like you identify by a different gender in order to trick people or hide your past. The casual assumption that Dr. V's identity was part of the con is pretty horrifying, as is the notion that it's okay for people to make that ignorant and bigoted mistake, because how would they know better?

Simmons' apology is pretty bad in its own right, because as another poster said, it's not "we should have known better", it's "we didn't talk to anyone from the transgender community, who could have told us we were making a mistake". Golly if only we'd consulted with someone who knows about those weird trans folks, we would've learned that exposing extremely sensitive personal information to the entire world is frowned upon! It's a shame none of us have that obscure knowledge about these strange people.

Tender Bender fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Jan 27, 2014

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Parlett316 posted:

Man if someone was bad mouthing me or making lovely remarks about a personal experience I as going through around someone close to me I hope they just sit there and smile or put their head down like nothing happened.

I hope so to because if this friend was Peyton Manning then after the assault my friend would probably be in jail (well he's rich so probably some light probation) and then the rear end in a top hat he assaulted would be a millionare after the civil suit.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

toadee posted:

There is simply no way that all teams passed on someone who had a .480 OBP the previous season who publicly stated he was willing to play for league minimum without there being some word going around behind the scenes that nobody better sign him.

Who were the Rays dh-ing in 2008? In an alternate universe I like to think they sign him and win the world series.

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Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

joshtothemaxx posted:

Has anyone ever interviewed or written about what the hell Joe Buck was thinking reacting so strangely to Randy Moss fake mooning the crowd? Buck acts like Moss just killed a baby.

The only explanation I can think of is that he thought Moss actually mooned the crowd, but I don't see how that could be.

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