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Forgive me for being late to the "Star Wars name" conversation, but I feel mine is goofy enough that it needs to be shared - Mcner Archi! I'm picturing someone like Carl from ATHF who has to live next to all the absurd elements of the EU. "Look, pumpkin, if you want to get down and dirty with giant bugs, do it indoors, where I don't have to watch!"
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Aug 23, 2010 19:18
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I get the sense that the EU is writting itself into a corner by introducing a Force Cthulhu into Star Wars. Because once you defeat Force Cthulhu (and anyone who knows anything knows this is going to be the outcome), where do you go from there? I suppose you can have a time traveling adventure, and thereby mess up the continuity beyond all recognition. Which would be sad, but oddly appropriate fate for the EU 
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Oct 27, 2010 21:25
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Chairman Capone posted:Time travel and Force Cthulhu: This what happens when you keep letting Troy Denning plan your series. The thing is that we already have a story about time travel and Cthulhu. It's called Chrono Trigger.
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Oct 28, 2010 15:48
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The only evidence of corruption from the PT that I can think of is that Padme mentions that the Republic failed to convict Nute Gunray of anything after he was caught red handed invading Naboo. Otherwise, we have to take everyone's word that the Senate is corrupt.
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Nov 10, 2010 19:50
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As stupid as ROTS and the prequels in general were, it still amazes me that they could have been worse. I remember reading in one "Making of..." book that early drafts of ROTS featured a kid Han Solo on Kashyyyk. 
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Dec 29, 2010 16:59
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While we're in rewrite/fanfiction mode, I have an interesting idea. What if the Prequel Trilogy doesn't show Anakin's full transformation into Darth Vader? Instead the trilogy only foreshadows it. And not the dumb forshadowing where his shadow suddenly looks like Vader. I mean foreshadowing where the story and characterization show that Anakin treads a precarious edge. The reason I'm leaving out Anakin's transformation into Vader is, well, it wasn't interesting. Every fan knew Anakin would fall to the Dark Side. Every fan knew Obi-wan subsequently fucks him up, necesitating the suit. The problem is that if you make these events the climax of the third movie, then what do you have for an ending, if there's no further progress in the hero's goals until at least 18 years later? Okay so Vader is defeated. Except he isn't. The twins go to their respective homes...uh, yay? Yes, ESB was a very qualified happy ending, but because the entire Third Act was focused on Vader's desire to turn him to the Dark Side while showing the sheer force the Empire could bring to bear in hunting a few individuals, it still feels like the heroes accomplished something when all they did was run away. At the very least, if you are going to include an Anakin vs Obi-wan fight, try to do it in a way that the fans wouldn't expect it. So here's my rewrite. Lots of inspiration from other goons that have been sperging out here. Episode I is the opening salvo of the Clone Wars: a massive Mandolorian invasion fleet arriving in orbit around Naboo, which is located near the Republic/Mando border. We are introduced to the main characters of the series early on. Obi-wan (age 30) is on the planet doing peacetime Jedi activity partly because the invasion was unexpected, and partly to teach his cocky Padawan Anakin (no younger than 16) some humility. When the dropships start to land in Theed, Obi-wan and Anakin switch gears and begin mitigating civilian casualties, not fighting unless they have to (emphasizing that the Mandos are a serious threat). There are glimpses of the main villian of the PT, A Mandolorian general/noble who is almost certainly not related to Boba Fett. As Obi-wan and Anakin debate their next move, a young woman named Padme approaches them and offers a ridiculous sum of money to get her off the planet. They turn to a Gungan smuggler named Tarpels to fly them off the planet, but the group is continously hounded by Mandolorians and Gungan soldiers that the Mandolorians have coopted through race politics. Eventually, our heroes discover that the Mandos are using clones, and that Padme is the last surviving member of the Naboo royal house. Tarpels gets them off Naboo, but they are forced to land on a podunck planet that is NOT Tatooine due to damage to Tarpels' ship. Anticipating that the Mandolorians will send a detachment to follow them, Obi-wan rallies the planets meager defense force. Anakin leads them into battle and drives off the invaders through a combination of quick jury-rigging and deft piloting. The movie ends with the heroes deeper in Republic territory, where Padme is crowned Queen while still in exile, and she vows to personally lead the liberation of Naboo. Episode II takes place 2 years later. The war has gone bad for the Republic. The Mandos have pushed as far as Kashyyk and have incorperated the Wookies into their armies. To make matters worse, some Jedi are beginning to act strangely, either going insane or even siding with the Mandolorians outright. The action starts on Corellia, where the newly-minted Army of the Republic is making it's stand against the Mandolorian Clone Army. The Army is led by the charismatic Naboo Senator-turned-General Palpatine, and it seems his ruthless strategy might actually win the battle. The heroes are leading the assault on the enemy's main camp. Anakin and Obi-wan are there because that's what Jedi are supposed to do, despite the new pall of suspicion. Padme is there because of her vow, and Tarfals is there because the Gungans have put a price on his head for his betrayal. They capture a communications officer and Anakin mind rapes him (to Obi-wan's dismay) in order to get vital intelligence about the Mandolorians. It turns out that they're building a cloning facility on Kashyyk. Palpatine is determined to destroy the facility before it becomes operational. The heroes volunteer to infiltrate Kashyyk's defenses. Eventually, they get separated, with Obi-wan and Tarfals trying to cash in one plot coupon, and Anakin and Padme trying to cash in the other. Anakin and Padme become closer to each other. Meanwhile, Anakin is starting to have strange hallucinations, and he worries that this is the onset of the madness plauging the Jedi. Padme is able to keep him grounded, but the visions come in the middle of a battle where Padme can't help him. In frustration, he calls on the Dark Side, and this somehow drives off the visions. Meanwhile, Obi-wan and Tarfals are confronted by the Big Bad, who turns out to be a Force-User. Tarfals is killed and Obi-wan is injured, but Anakin arrives in time to drive him off. During the fight, it becomes clear that the Big Bad is responsible for Jedi going insane. Having accomplished their goals, the heroes escape from Kashyyk just moments before Palpatine's forces arrive and carpet bomb the place. Episode III's description is shorter because I'm at work and about to get out. And, frankly, I haven't sorted it out fully in my mind. The important part is that Anakin saves the day, but in order to do so, he makes decisions that foreshadow his turn to the Dark Side without blatently telegraphic "I BECOME DARTH VADER!" EDIT: spelling SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 23:55 on Jan 4, 2011 |
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Jan 4, 2011 23:48
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To help us get away from crying about Lucas, the Star Wars books thread is undergoing a renaissance after a period of inactivity. Please check it out here: discover the wonders of Trioculous, the Bowiemperor, Kuat of Kuat of Kuat of Kuat of Kuat (ommitted a Kuat or two), Luke's many girlfriends, the adventures of Admiral Daala, and bug orgies! http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3296954
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Jan 12, 2011 23:20
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Someone asked this earlier, but I didn't see a response: do any of the EU authors do anything with midichlorians? Or do even the dumbest of them know to steer clear of even casually mentioning them?
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Jan 24, 2011 22:44
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I finished reading the Dark Nest in TBB thread. I'll be talking more about that book in that thread, but there are a few things that I want to mention. First, the series utterly failed to make me care for the story that was being presented. This is mainly because the book couldn't decide who I was supposed to care about. It's also a failure to explain the behavior of any of the characters. Every scene is boring, even when there's supposed to be something exciting happening. Every attempt at foreshadowing just results in blatently telegraphing the direction the book is going to take. And the final book is resolved really clumsily. Plot threads are either left hanging or lead to dead ends. The main plot is resolved with heapings of hypocrisy and hand-waves. e: page snipe. Here's the first image I got when I typed "bug orgy" in GIS:  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Feb 8, 2011 17:21
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Last Friday, I saw Lohengrin at the Chicago Civic Opera House. As I was watching it, I came to the conclusion that the Prequel Trilogy would work so much better if you present it as a classic opera. Hell, make all six films into operas while you were at it. Call it the Skywalker Cycle. Of course, there's no way to mass market opera, so I guess it won't happen.
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Feb 14, 2011 16:38
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Fox of Stone posted:A Star Wars Opera would be cool. I enjoyed the Concert series they had a couple years ago. The problem is that, especially in more evocative scenes like lightsaber duels, the nature of opera would make the OT even better while making the PT even shittier. Actually, I think an opera would help the PT if you give the writer enough flexibility and freedom to edit out material, add exposition (which is sung, so it's more bearable) to flesh out the motives and plot, and just don't worry about doing fancy lightsaber moves, especially because it's possible one or more of the leads is going to be overweight. What sold the idea to me was reading the plot synopsis of Lohengrin which ends by saying The female lead dies of grief and I immediately thought of how Padme died. That's when it struck me-the clumsy love plot between Anakin and Padme and Anakin's fall to the Dark Side was totally in line with what happens in a lot of operas.
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Feb 14, 2011 19:35
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I'm close to finishing my Let's Read of Red Harvest on TBB thread. To anyone thinking of picking up the book, I'll just say this: don't. In fact, based on everything that's been posted on that thread, I would argue that it is the nadir of the Star Wars EU. The ideas presented in it might not be on the same level of Bug Orgies or robot Leia, but the basic quality of writing, the quality of editing, and layout of the story are so atrocious that it reads like terrible fanfic.
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Mar 10, 2011 10:12
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Slantedfloors posted:
So, umm, just how "canon" is this story anyway? Is it like on the same level as the main continuity books? Because if so
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Mar 11, 2011 10:31
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For those who haven't been following the TBB thread, I'm about to start reviewing the comic Jedi vs Sith. And boy is it bizzare. As I mention in that thread, it looks and reads more like a Star Wars/Lord of the Rings crossfic than something that's part of the Star Wars canon (yes, parts of this comic are still canon ). On the other hand, the comic is really good once you accept it on its own terns, and the comic is a not-so subtle trolling of everything that was wrong with the Bantan era EU, especially the crap about Jaina and Jacen.
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Mar 12, 2011 15:08
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While looking through Wookieepedia, and I found this gem:Wookieepedia posted:nitially there was some debate as to whether or not Darovit was Force-sensitive, and whether Jedi vs. Sith intended to hint at this or whether it is just the result of over-analytical fans. This debate, however, was ended when Rule of Two specifically identified him as Force-sensitive, albeit only slightly. Over-analytical fans? In my Wookieepedia? 
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Mar 12, 2011 19:48
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Chairman Capone posted:Back when I still posted on TFN, I remember for a month or two there was a huge argument going on whether Darovit was Force-sensitive or not. Personally I think it makes the story better if he wasn't, but whatever. Yet another thing I don't like about the Bane books. From what I understand, it's a concession to previously established mechanics. The book explained that Zannah had somehow lent her Force powers to Darovit through a Force Bond-but in order to have a Force Bond, both parties have to be Force-sensitive to begin with. Darovit was still really weak when Zannah wasn't buffing him, which is how he survives the Thought Bomb. But your right, Jedi vs. Sith works better if he wasn't Force-sensitive at all. If others of you are reading this and the above doesn't make sense to you...just head over to TBB thread. I'll have the comics reviewed soon enough.
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Mar 12, 2011 23:51
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Changing topic, has their ever been a race or culture in SW that is basically "Vikings in Space" or even just "Norwegians in Space" or have the EU authors just been like "eh, we have other tough guys that can cover those aspects." Just curious and I don't want to scour wookieepedia for the answer (in fear of what I might find accidentally)
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Mar 16, 2011 07:23
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that awful man posted:MANDALORIANS MANDALORIANS MANDALORIANS I mean beside the Mandos - those guys are all New Zealanders, I'm actually talking about scandinavian accents. I somehow got a Metalocalypse/Star Wars crossfic idea in my head and I can't get rid of it. 
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Mar 16, 2011 08:45
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Gentlemen...Behold!!
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Mar 16, 2011 18:58
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^...the hell? Why are they using stormtroopers? Is there something I'm missing?  To make up for that insanity, here's a pic of the EU's cutest Sith:    
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Mar 19, 2011 10:59
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:I will never get tired of posting this. This is the Jedi vs. Sith comic in a nutshell. Well, there's the children suffering psychological trauma.
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Mar 20, 2011 21:51
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I discovered this take on the Imperial March while wasting time on TvTropes. It is...glorious.
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Apr 18, 2011 04:41
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Razorwired posted:And it was a cool little side project until nerds started writing wedding vows in it This is old (talking about Klingon), but I saw "A Klingon Christmas Carol" last winter and it was the best Christmas Play ever. So Bath'Hum to you!
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Jul 7, 2011 13:56
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euphronius posted:^^^^ That it what I always thought but then I am now confused by quotes from TESB Maybe if they weren't detected, they could pinpoint the generators and launch a lightning strike to take out the shields. You could probably sneak a wing of TIEs under the perimeter of the shield before they're detected and they could overwhelm the Rebel Starfighters and take out the generator
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Jul 9, 2011 21:35
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arioch posted:Right, which is why I said the EU already went that stupid without needing the UF concept. One that I always love is when one Jedi FORCE NEUTERS an opponent. This power is so ridiculous that it's never mentioned anywhere ever again.
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Jul 13, 2011 13:10
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Do any other forms of music have a Space Name? Or is it just jizz?
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Jul 15, 2011 01:38
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Rev. Bleech_ posted:Swiping from the Funny Picture thread before this conversation somehow turns me back into a virgin That girl in the front doesn't have a braid. My immersion is ruined 
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Jul 19, 2011 05:05
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:They couldn't fire earlier because the plant Yavin was in the way. They had to move around it before they could hit the moon. Who knows what shooting a gas giant with a space death laser would do. I think what he's asking is why not just blow up Yavin itself. The explanation I read on stardestroyer.net is that a gas giant hit by the Superlaser would take a few hours to break up-plenty of time for the Rebels to carry out an evacuation. It also took a full day for the Death Star to recharge. On the other hand, directly blasting the rebel base only entailed a 30 minute trip.
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Aug 29, 2011 16:03
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Boondock Saint posted:My secret wish is that George Lucas dies and somehow, a Rogue Squadron series ends up getting made the same way they remade BSG. I am no longer of the opinion that the death of George Lucas will bring about the Star Wars Renaissance that we are all pining for. For one thing, we have no clue who George intends to leave ownership of his franchise to. In all probability, it'll be one or more of his kids that will take over the franchise when he dies. I don't much about his children, but it seems less likely that will they blossom into magnanimous stewards of cinema than they will be self-entitled dipshits eager to leave "their" mark on the franchise without any of the discipline to do so in a thoughtful manner. Second, for years the people of Lucasarts have been conditioned by George to never question anything that comes from the top. This attitude is likely to persist for a very long time after George steps down. Only now they are taking their marching orders from someone who had no input whatsoever in how Star Wars came about. Finally, Star Wars is such a lumbering beast of a business that it has continued to be financially successful after taking numerous missteps that would have sunk any other franchise. I would like to believe that the rest of the fan base gets so sick of these Stars Wars like we have...but I am not holding my breath. Then again, one key reason that Star Wars hasn't bottomed out is that while George has fumbled plenty in the last 13 years, he never spent extravagantly on such ventures. I doubt that his successors, who grew up accustomed to wealth, would have the same discipline.
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Sep 2, 2011 04:20
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I think my brother is an addict. I showed him return of the no. He hated every change Lucas has made. He hated the prequels. And he's still going to buy the BR set. There but for the grace of midichlorians go I...
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Sep 2, 2011 13:05
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So, I have an EU question: After KJA's Jedi Academy, does anyone ever bring up the fact that Kyp Durron once blew up an inhabited star system? I would think that would sort of be a big deal.
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Sep 4, 2011 04:28
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Torael_7 posted:Yes, several times. In fact, Kyp himself pilots an X-Wing late in the NJO painted up to look like a sun going nova.  Jesus, that's like a German F1 racer putting "Arbiet Macht Frei" on his car. (Yeah, I went the  route, but come on! Him continuing to be a major part of the Jedi Order in a series that makes a big deal about WMDs strikes me as really incongruous)
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Sep 4, 2011 06:08
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Torael_7 posted:To be fair, he did it in the hopes that it would help freak the Vong out. "Dude, we've destroyed whole loving stars, what the gently caress kind of chance do you stand?" Which leaves out the fact that they no longer have such ability...
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Sep 4, 2011 06:41
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ZeeToo posted:I think you're forgetting that Kyp was forgiven for his crime. He was forgiven by Luke, to be exact. I'm pretty sure the Imperial Remnant would still want to extradite his rear end, if only to rub it in the faces of the Republic. "Of course we'll turn over all war criminals we're harboring. Only it looks like you killed them all already. Say, do you know about this Kyp Durron guy?  "
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Sep 4, 2011 16:01
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movax posted:The Clone Wars TV series does a pretty decent job of showing that Anakin and Obi-Wan are pretty much If it wasn't in the movies, then it doesn't count. 
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Sep 26, 2011 19:02
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For those still on the fence about RotStover, let me describe one change that I think encapsulates how it improves on the movie: After Anakin is ordered to spy on Palpatine, we go to Obi-wan, Mace, and Yoda in a LAAT/i (or whatever) talking about whether Anakin is really ready for this assignment. In the film, it's Obi-Wan who's defending the decision while Mace expresses his reservations while Yoda seems to have his doubts. If you think about this, this makes no sense. Obi-Wan should be the one who realizes that Anakin lacks the temper for this kind of clandestine operation. Not only that, but if Mace and Yoda are not on board with the idea, that means that Obi-wan was logically the only one to push for the plan on the council. And not only does he still thinks it's the right move after Anakin chews him out over it, but he lacked the balls to own up that it was his idea and passed the blame onto the council!  In the book, it's Obi-Wan who's trying to get the council to realize what a bad idea this is, and the council not realizing why putting Anakin in this position is dangerous (later, we find out that they didn't realize this because Obi-Wan was keeping the council from discovering the worst about Anakin's behavior)
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Sep 29, 2011 01:14
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Something else about space dogfights is that the survivability of starfighters is really all over the place, especially the Rebel Fighters. In the movies, there's usually one or two secords of a TIE firing on an X-wing before it blows apart. As someone who played TIE Fighter, I know that you need at least 4 seconds of concentrated fire to down an X-Wing, assuming it isn't evading. 
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Oct 12, 2011 19:56
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:I just love how shamelessly marketed this poster is. They literally took the two things about TPM that most people will still say are enjoyable (Maul and the Pod Race) and have those elements take up over 2/3rds of the poster, only making the slightest concessions to include elements that actually tie this film to the rest of the trilogy. :iamafag:
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Oct 14, 2011 18:37
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So I was going through a bunch of old documents at work and scanning then shredding them, and I come across this name:quote:Mark Greivous, M.D. 
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Nov 11, 2011 21:22
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Chairman Capone posted:Guys, we can all rest easy now. It has now been clarified: Greedo always shot first. Sweet Space Jesus, this is 'Bagdad Bob' level of denying the historical record.
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Feb 11, 2012 15:55
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