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goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Probably because Loki was referred to as Laufeyjarson, and so Stan Lee assumed it was his father. It is canon though. Marvel Laufey is a dude.

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StealthStealth
Aug 28, 2007

dogs eatin' cake
Dayton actually does have a drug trade the size of Tijuana. Relatively speaking of course. Also corn is loving hardcore, Ohio is thug as hell.

Jay Dub
Jul 27, 2009

I'm not listening
to youuuuu...
I'm thinking maybe it's time we added pointless videos that play automatically at the top of all our reviews.

Everyone else is doing it.

e: Like that guy. VVV

Jay Dub fucked around with this message at 21:28 on May 2, 2011

Professor Clumsy
Sep 12, 2008

It is a while still till Sunrise - and in the daytime I sleep, my dear fellow, I sleep the very deepest of sleeps...
So, every Sunday I tweet the link to the Current Releases reviews. This week, I recieved a direct response:


http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-596162

An old man describes the plot of Win Win, declares himself part of some intellectual elite for "getting it", calls it a review and then - and this is the most baffling part - decides that I, personally, need to see it.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

I hate Twitter bots.

Nucular Carmul
Jan 26, 2005

Melongenidae incantatrix
Professor Clumsy: wrong about Iron Man, wrong about Thor :colbert:

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry

Nucular Carmul posted:

Professor Clumsy: wrong about Iron Man, wrong about Thor :colbert:

Agreed. :colbert::colbert:

Professor Clumsy
Sep 12, 2008

It is a while still till Sunrise - and in the daytime I sleep, my dear fellow, I sleep the very deepest of sleeps...
Either of you care to elaborate?

Professor Clumsy fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Nov 20, 2012

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Really?
They were made for the fans, not critics! :byodood:

I don't remember your Iron Man review, or even which one it was.

Professor Clumsy
Sep 12, 2008

It is a while still till Sunrise - and in the daytime I sleep, my dear fellow, I sleep the very deepest of sleeps...

John Dyne posted:

They were made for the fans, not critics! :byodood:

I don't remember your Iron Man review, or even which one it was.

Here's my Iron Man 2 review. I never reviewed the first, but it was marginally better.

Nucular Carmul
Jan 26, 2005

Melongenidae incantatrix

ProfessorClumsy posted:

Either of you homos care to elaborate?

You are british.

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This. And we disagree with you

Professor Clumsy
Sep 12, 2008

It is a while still till Sunrise - and in the daytime I sleep, my dear fellow, I sleep the very deepest of sleeps...

Nucular Carmul posted:

You are british.

This is something I'm ashamed of today. Rub it in why don't you?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Just get drunk and dream of emigrating. It's what I'm doing.

Vargo
Dec 27, 2008

'Cuz it's KILLIN' ME!
The truth is... I didn't think Thor was great either. It's not as bad as Clumsy says, but it's not that good.

Jay Dub
Jul 27, 2009

I'm not listening
to youuuuu...

Vargo posted:

The truth is... I didn't think Thor was great either. It's not as bad as Clumsy says, but it's not that good.

I guess I'm gonna have to be the white knight on this one. I had a lot of fun with Thor. Granted, that might be the 2AM daze of the midnight screening talking, but I really dug how thoroughly the film committed to the combination of Branagh's Shakespeare-crazy and Jack Kirby-celestial crazy. The film goes balls-out nuts in the design work and the silly operatics, and I really think that makes the film as a whole more palatable. It could've easily fallen into parody or drab/grittiness if it tipped its hand too far in either direction, but I thought it toed the line nicely.

I'll admit that character development really isn't the film's strong suit, but I'm willing to forgive it because of how ultimately simple the story is. Some of the action sequences aren't shot particularly well and parts of the plot seem like pure happenstance, but otherwise I found Thor to be a perfectly serviceable superhero flick.

It's a far sight more fun than most of the recent superhero films, anyway.

Nucular Carmul
Jan 26, 2005

Melongenidae incantatrix
All I'm saying is if Clumsy gives Thor a 17 he drat better retroactively give Daredevil and Elektra like 6 or 4 or something (not that your scores matter, just like the points on Who's Line Is It Anyway)

Professor Clumsy
Sep 12, 2008

It is a while still till Sunrise - and in the daytime I sleep, my dear fellow, I sleep the very deepest of sleeps...
I haven't seen either of those films and have no plans to.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/priest-something-borrowed.php

Why wasn't there more of a fight over who would see the movie Kate Hudson wasn't in? Also, the "Barack and Michelle Obama" comparison isn't un-PC at all.

Vargo
Dec 27, 2008

'Cuz it's KILLIN' ME!
I just want to point out that the "Something Blue" joke in my review is not the one I originally wrote.

Professor Clumsy
Sep 12, 2008

It is a while still till Sunrise - and in the daytime I sleep, my dear fellow, I sleep the very deepest of sleeps...

Vargo posted:

I just want to point out that the "Something Blue" joke in my review is not the one I originally wrote.

Yeah, I saw you pretending you were too good to make a testicles joke and brought you down to earth.

Jay Dub
Jul 27, 2009

I'm not listening
to youuuuu...

Y-Hat posted:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/priest-something-borrowed.php

Why wasn't there more of a fight over who would see the movie Kate Hudson wasn't in? Also, the "Barack and Michelle Obama" comparison isn't un-PC at all.

Vargo let me choose. I chose. Wisely.

And I realize it's no big deal to talk about the Obama comparison, I just figured it'd be a little funnier to pretend to make a big deal about it. Oh well. V:v:V

SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy
Vargo, how are you posting in this thread even though your whereabouts are unknown? :qq:MY IMMERSION:qq:


Seriously though, loving hilarious work.

Vargo
Dec 27, 2008

'Cuz it's KILLIN' ME!

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Vargo, how are you posting in this thread even though your whereabouts are unknown? :qq:MY IMMERSION:qq:


Seriously though, loving hilarious work.

I actually escaped my captors long enough to get access to a laptop. This is what I chose to do with that time.

Jay Dub
Jul 27, 2009

I'm not listening
to youuuuu...

Vargo posted:

I actually escaped my captors long enough to get access to a laptop. This is what I chose to do with that time.

I told those idiots to password-lock that poo poo.





:argh:

TheBigBudgetSequel
Nov 25, 2008

It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

I told those idiots to password-lock that poo poo.





:argh:

You spend your time getting involved with this, and yet Peter Travers roams free? You people are stupid.

Vargo
Dec 27, 2008

'Cuz it's KILLIN' ME!

TheBigBudgetSequel posted:

You spend your time getting involved with this, and yet Peter Travers roams free? You people are stupid.

In all fairness, I am probably way easier to kidnap than Peter Travers.

Complexcalibur
Mar 11, 2007

NUOOOOAAAGH
You know, if the highest rated movie for a week is a 6/50, I think it's okay if you guys don't have a Movie of the Week.

Vargo
Dec 27, 2008

'Cuz it's KILLIN' ME!

ThemeMusicC posted:

You know, if the highest rated movie for a week is a 6/50, I think it's okay if you guys don't have a Movie of the Week.

This week actually made us talk about making a separate graphic for "Movie of the...Week?"

TheBigBudgetSequel
Nov 25, 2008

It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Vargo posted:

This week actually made us talk about making a separate graphic for "Movie of the...Week?"

Oh? The graphic guy never heard poo poo.

Vargo
Dec 27, 2008

'Cuz it's KILLIN' ME!

TheBigBudgetSequel posted:

Oh? The graphic guy never heard poo poo.

Well, no, we don't tell that guy anything until it's time to drag him out of the cupboard with the water heater. We don't really like talking to him.

TheBigBudgetSequel
Nov 25, 2008

It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Vargo posted:

Well, no, we don't tell that guy anything until it's time to drag him out of the cupboard with the water heater. We don't really like talking to him.

You know, that actually explains a lot.

P.S. The rats in here ate all the food. Send more food.

TheBigBudgetSequel fucked around with this message at 05:21 on May 10, 2011

Jay Dub
Jul 27, 2009

I'm not listening
to youuuuu...

ThemeMusicC posted:

You know, if the highest rated movie for a week is a 6/50, I think it's okay if you guys don't have a Movie of the Week.

But if you're under extreme duress and must choose between Priest, Something Borrowed, and Jumping the Broom (for example, in the event that you find yourself in a Saw-esque cinematic death trap), how will you know what to choose?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Which one is the easiest to sleep through?

Dectilon
Aug 15, 2008

Remember that thou wast a servant in the land of LP, and that the Lord thy Master brought thee out thence through mighty balls and a stretched out dive.
Dectilon 5:15

ProfessorClumsy posted:

Here's my Iron Man 2 review. I never reviewed the first, but it was marginally better.

Movie of the Weak.

I honestly believe that the only reason Iron Man reviewed better than Daredevil or The Incredible Hulk is because it had Robert Downey Jr doing his usual shtick. It's a not a bad shtick, but always the same.

Professor Clumsy
Sep 12, 2008

It is a while still till Sunrise - and in the daytime I sleep, my dear fellow, I sleep the very deepest of sleeps...

Dectilon posted:

Movie of the Weak.

I honestly believe that the only reason Iron Man reviewed better than Daredevil or The Incredible Hulk is because it had Robert Downey Jr doing his usual shtick. It's a not a bad shtick, but always the same.

Flubberty-druthers.

Camel Camus
Jun 16, 2009

Mais, non, je suis fantastique!

I can't tell you how awesome it was to read your review of "Bridesmaids," Jay Dub. I saw it with my girlfriend and we both expected it to be pretty bad, but we saw that Chris O'Dowd is in it and both love the IT Crowd so we thought we'd give it a shot.

Hell, the film's even hovering around 90% on rotten tomatoes and Roger Ebert gave it a pretty favorable review, so we thought it might've been a case of bad advertising, a hope that was shattered before any bit of meaningful dialogue was uttered in the film. There are so many non-jokes within this movie that on several occasions I found myself sincerely confused about why the people around me were laughing. They're having sex and her legs are flailing in an unsexy manner? He's making a funny face at the moment of climax? At moments the humor is absurd and elsewhere it's gross and it never really brings anything to the point of comedy. In the few scenes where an actor strikes a right tone or two, the lagging pacing quickly wrings out any kind of enjoyment and brings us back to the sober, Judd-Apatow-With-Lipstick reality that is "Bridesmaids."

I agree that the second half of the film is infinitely better than the "Oh look the fat one's pooping! IN A SINK!" first half, but it still felt incredibly flimsy. There never was a moment of "Oh! This is what was holding them back before!" where we can understand any of the characters' changes. I agree that the best part of the film is, unequivocally, Chris O'Dowd and I really hope he gets some substantial recognition for this.

I am shocked at the critical acclaim that this film is receiving. I take "wedding" films with a grain of salt in general, but I'd put "Bride Wars" or "27 Dresses," the steaming piles of horse poo poo that both of those films are, head and shoulders above "Bridesmaids."

Thanks for putting it in words better than I could've and grounding my suspicions that this film, despite the bizarre hype behind it, is pretty loving bad.

Jay Dub
Jul 27, 2009

I'm not listening
to youuuuu...
And here I was thinking I was crazy and that people were gonna give me poo poo for not loving it like everyone else did.

The back end really did a lot to redeem the movie for me, but only in that I expected it to keep on being a comedy trainwreck, and then suddenly they gave us a story that actually kinda worked. Sadly, half of a lovely movie and half of a good movie don't equal out to one good movie.

Vargo
Dec 27, 2008

'Cuz it's KILLIN' ME!
Maybe you guys would have enjoyed the movie more if you had watched it while drinking a delicious healthy glass of Pom Wonderful 100% Pomegranate Juice.

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Fig Newton
Oct 29, 2005

Re: Pirates 4.

I wish I had been able to read your review before I dragged my husband to see this today. I actually liked the first three movies, so I would have gritted my teeth and gone to see it by myself even with its desperate 38% on the Rotten Tomatometer, just for old times' sake if nothing else. But I didn't need to put my nearest and dearest through it, even though he was facing a boring Sunday afternoon by himself, plus I could've saved his $5.75, in addition to the price of the jumbo popcorn he was forced to resort to at the halfway mark (he the non-popcorn-eater) in order to get through it. As for myself, I realized that about the time he went out for popcorn, I was feeling cross because the theater's seats were just the wrong size and shape for me to settle back and go to sleep.

And I'm a fan, remember.

We too found the mermaid love story subplot to be baffling, and actually sat through the entire credits hoping there would be some kind of resolution of that huge ("Wait, what?") loose end.

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