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corker2k posted:Seconded. Can all "forums drama" be removed and let the good people of current releases go back to what I had considered the best review site around? Since you asked nicely...
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Aug 15, 2014 23:01
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corker2k posted:Seconded. Can all "forums drama" be removed and let the good people of current releases go back to what I had considered the best review site around? Only if I can still do Harold Gorman, Hollywood Foreman.
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Aug 15, 2014 23:17
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corker2k posted:Seconded. Can all "forums drama" be removed and let the good people of current releases go back to what I had considered the best review site around? Unfortunately they're not letting g0m do another review for CR so that'll never happen.
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Aug 16, 2014 05:29
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I found out that a movie of The Giver is being released soon and the first thing I thought was, "I can't wait to read Current Releases trash it."
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Aug 17, 2014 00:57
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Finally, a biopic about the man who "created" the gape in Goatse.
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Aug 17, 2014 01:44
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This week's review has a page 2 with nothing on it.
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Aug 17, 2014 07:17
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As well as a page 5. And there's a proofreading error on the last page. Can you fix that? Because if you can I'll edit this post so no one has to know. So, has Professor Clumsy been replaced by Twisted Ladder and Gentleman Loser? I've no problem with this, since it means more reviewers and fewer dicks. But the lack of confirmation has been bugging me.
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Aug 17, 2014 07:52
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effectual posted:This week's review has a page 2 with nothing on it. It works for me, but I wish it hadn't. Looking back, The Giver as a book had some strong right-wing undertones (or flat-out overtones, like the bit where Jonas's dad literally kills a newborn baby and that's how you know this society is EVIL). It looks like the movie sorta kept those, but also sanitized some of it away. Senior Woodchuck fucked around with this message at 12:03 on Aug 18, 2014 |
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Aug 17, 2014 16:10
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I've been informed, but everything looks fine to me.Some Guy TT posted:So, has Professor Clumsy been replaced by Twisted Ladder and Gentleman Loser? I've no problem with this, since it means more reviewers and fewer dicks. But the lack of confirmation has been bugging me. We kind of wanted to let the work speak for itself, but yeah, that's basically it. Clumsy left a few months ago, so we decided it was time to bring in a couple new regulars. I'm proud of the work they've done so far. It's good poo poo. Jay Dub fucked around with this message at 17:12 on Aug 17, 2014 |
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Aug 17, 2014 17:05
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I miss Prof. Clumsy's phallic observations.
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Aug 17, 2014 17:58
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quote:For all its faults, I at least learned something from The Expendables 2, that Dolph Lundgren actually has a master's degree in chemical engineering. I doubt I'll be able to say the same this time around. - Sean "Keanu Grieves" Hanson Dolph Lundgren is a 6'5, 240lb Black Belt Olympian Fulbright Scholar former special forces member ex-phD candiatate at MIT who hosed Grace Jones and lived. Dolph Lundgren is, quite frankly, a little disturbing. In a better world, a man like Dolph Lundgren would be living in the top of an art deco skyscraper with a crew of exotic assistants, descending occasionally to fight strange future crime and explore lost cities. Instead he made Masters of the Universe. He would still have hosed Grace Jones, though.
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Aug 17, 2014 18:19
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Y-Hat posted:I miss Prof. Clumsy's phallic observations. If it helps, one of The Giver's weaknesses was the distinct lack of boners.
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Aug 17, 2014 20:50
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Senior Woodchuck posted:IT works for me, but I wish it hadn't Book: Killing a newborn baby by injecting poison into its skull then dumping it in the garbage is kinda bad. To Senior Woodchuck = Its actually good. Resist the Evil Right Wing overtones.
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Aug 17, 2014 20:57
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TwistedLadder posted:If it helps, one of The Giver's weaknesses was the distinct lack of boners.
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Aug 17, 2014 21:02
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:THE STIRRINGS Are creepily mentioned once and then neveragainpretendyouheardnothingsexdoesn'texist We have to protect the 10 to 15-year-olds from the reality of sex, it's a concept that will scar and corrupt them!
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Aug 17, 2014 21:14
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Just tell it to me straight: we're not getting a review of Planes: Fire & Rescue, are we? Say what you will about the original Planes review (and you should), it was interesting.
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Aug 18, 2014 15:57
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johntfs posted:Dolph Lundgren is a 6'5, 240lb Black Belt Olympian Fulbright Scholar former special forces member ex-phD candiatate at MIT who hosed Grace Jones and lived. But could he beat Brock Lesnar? E: outside of a "who has the most intestines" contest, of course. I Before E fucked around with this message at 16:12 on Aug 18, 2014 |
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Aug 18, 2014 16:08
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Onomarchus posted:Just tell it to me straight: we're not getting a review of Planes: Fire & Rescue, are we? At this point, no. The release isn't current anymore.
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Aug 18, 2014 16:29
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TwistedLadder and Gentlemen Loser are both welcome additions but I miss Clumsy. He's the only reason I gave Battleship and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter fair chances, and he was completely right about both of them.
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Aug 18, 2014 17:58
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Hollywood needs to make a movie about a Formula 1 race where the cars are replaced with dicks, intercut with footage of 9/11. Then he will return to us.
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Aug 18, 2014 23:06
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General Ironicus posted:Hollywood needs to make a movie about a Formula 1 race where the cars are replaced with dicks, intercut with footage of 9/11. Then he will return to us. The whole idea has an Angels in the Outfield vibe to it. Only with more dicks, F1 and 9/11.
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Aug 18, 2014 23:44
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TrixRabbi posted:TwistedLadder and Gentlemen Loser are both welcome additions but I miss Clumsy. He's the only reason I gave Battleship and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter fair chances, and he was completely right about both of them.
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Aug 19, 2014 01:21
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Why did he leave, anyway?
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Aug 19, 2014 16:46
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corker2k posted:Why did he leave, anyway? Nine hundred and eleven creative boner differences.
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Aug 19, 2014 18:16
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corker2k posted:Why did he leave, anyway? 1) Murdered by Montague Smythe during an off-week. 2) England has established its own Internet to quell dissident Scottish separatists and Ian, a Yorkie whose allegiance is questionable, can no longer access SA. Keanu Grieves fucked around with this message at 21:31 on Aug 20, 2014 |
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Aug 20, 2014 21:27
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quote:I'm not really sure why anyone would bother to make any more high-school football movies when we live in a world that also has seasons 3-5 of Friday Night Lights in it. Fuckin' truth. Texas Forever.
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Aug 24, 2014 16:23
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Senior Woodchuck posted:Fuckin' truth. Texas Forever. Texas Forever, Street.
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Aug 24, 2014 16:31
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Rough week for Current Releases writers
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Aug 24, 2014 17:48
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DumbWhiteGuy posted:Rough week for Current Releases writers If you think this week's bad, look at September's release schedule. There's no wide release that looks like it'll stand out for the next few weeks. We could have funny reviews if someone on the CR team ends up seeing the new Atlas Shrugged movie though. At least Box Trolls comes out at the end of the month. That one should be good.
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Aug 24, 2014 18:03
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A movie that makes us want to feel sorry for the hardships of players on a football team that won over 150 consecutive games prior to losing two is a metaphor for evangelical Christianity itself- they pull many of the levers of power in this country, but goddammit, they're a persecuted group in America and you better feel sorry for them.
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Aug 24, 2014 20:42
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I had no idea there even was a Jarhead 2 until I read the column, so...thanks, I guess. Judging by the review it came out just like you'd expect a direct-to-DVD sequel to do.
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Aug 24, 2014 23:53
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I noticed an error in your recent reviews, where you noted that Sin City was not a good movie, where in fact it was a good movie. Thank you in advance for fixing this mistake.
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Aug 26, 2014 03:46
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quote:[In Let's Be Cops], There is not one decent portrayal of women in this movie. Not. One. In movies like that, there never is.
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Aug 31, 2014 08:38
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Just fyi the link to the Russell essay is dead in the Zero Theorem review. Also, drat do I need to go see it.
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Aug 31, 2014 17:32
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Holy poo pooquote:vouchsafed dilatorily by one's superiors Closefriend, I think from your review I'd enjoy this movie but you throw more two-bit words around than an undergrad. Polysyllables are the loving devil.
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Aug 31, 2014 23:31
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IT WUZ GUD. Better?
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Sep 1, 2014 06:29
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So you enjoy needlessly obfuscatory phrasing in your reviews. Language that reeks of thesaurus puree and ipecac just ain't my thing.
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Sep 1, 2014 09:26
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What makes it 'needless'?
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Sep 1, 2014 16:02
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effectual posted:What makes it 'needless'? This is a comedy website and the writers are welcome to use all the big words they like provided they enhance jokes, of which there are none in this or any other edition of Current Releases hth.
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Sep 1, 2014 16:16
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i've never heard the word quondam before, and ive heard a lot of god dang words my friend.
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Sep 1, 2014 16:19
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