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One of your reviews encouraged me to see The Expendables, I was sort of on the fence about it, not sure how something like that was going to turn out, but after reading your review it seemed like the kind of movie I might enjoy, and I took the plunge and enjoyed myself, so thanks! Still a little upset that Stone Cold didn't Stunner anyone though 
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Oct 1, 2010 07:48
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Maybe I just missed it because of shakycam.
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Oct 1, 2010 11:57
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Vargo, I read the Mars Needs Moms review and was suitably outraged at the message involved, but now I've read the thread over in CI about how terribly it bombed and it gives me some faith in humanity back 
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Mar 16, 2011 00:06
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Raymondo Person posted:I find the tone of these reviews enjoyable but also odd in that less than a year ago we had a front page feature run by a guy who constantly used "gay loving human being" as an insult without the tiniest hint of irony and seemed to perfectly embody all of the hella edgey aspects of SA and now suddenly we have... this. It feels as if SA has a huge identity crisis now. The fifteen year olds who were here when the site was first started are now like 27. It's been happening for a long time, the demographic is growing up.
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Mar 22, 2011 11:58
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Vargo posted:How do you feel about the Donovan Laird/Montague Smythe character reviews? I have a character in the works as well. Smythe is awesome. I can't remember which review it was but he said something about chasing evildoers around while naked and since they ran away they were clearly guilty. Donovan Laird is great, especially to review movies you know is going to be poo poo/ no one is going to take seriously anyway.
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Mar 28, 2011 15:22
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Vargo posted:Motherfuck, how did the guy who OPed this thread get banned AGAIN? Jesus... Hakan made a comeback, the whole thread in which Spiderhyphenman got banned in is full of an almost apocalyptic number of bannings and probations of dumb people. It's quite hilarious. (you can click on the Rap Sheet button to see a poster's history of mod action, not sure if you knew that or not) For actual on topic stuff: The review of Source Code brought me no closer to an conclusion of whether I wanted to see it or not. All the things talked about were exactly the things I was on the fence about, guess I'll wait for Netflix.
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Apr 5, 2011 00:14
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Professor Clumsy: wrong about Iron Man, wrong about Thor 
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May 6, 2011 08:26
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ProfessorClumsy posted:Either of you homos care to elaborate? You are british.
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May 6, 2011 18:14
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All I'm saying is if Clumsy gives Thor a 17 he drat better retroactively give Daredevil and Elektra like 6 or 4 or something (not that your scores matter, just like the points on Who's Line Is It Anyway)
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May 7, 2011 03:33
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I like Professor Clumsy's reviews because I tend to enjoy superhero movies, but sometimes I think about it later and realize something was missing or wrong, and he tells me why. I tend to turn off my brain for them because I just want to see how they bring the comics to live action, so it's kinda neat to understand why I should hate it 
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Jun 20, 2011 08:23
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Vargo posted:t, whereas I feel the film was good when it was embracing its silliness for the most fart and the worst scenes where when it tried to be serious. Quotin this before you edit it out.
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Jun 20, 2011 08:41
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I liked the eight year old character for the Transformers review, mostly because I think being reviewed by an eight year old is about as much respect as that series deserves at this point.
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Jul 4, 2011 06:52
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Seeing the trailers for Fright Night always kind of pissed me off because of the timing. It seems like deliberate pandering to the 18-35 male crowd who are tired of Twilight style vampires, hell they even say in the trailers "He's not brooding or lovesick, he's the shark from Jaws!" It's almost more offensive to me than the Twilight style, and honestly, if I had a girlfriend who wanted to see one or one of my cousins needed an adult presence to go out, I'd see one of those, but I can't fathom any sequence of events that would lead me to go see Fright Night. It's similar to my reasons for vowing never to see Gamer. It just annoys me when Hollywood tries to make movies for the target audience I sort of fit into. Just make good movies and I'll see them, I liked Benjamin Button, Forrest Gump, all kinds of movies that didn't have a single explosion or monster. Am I just  or does anyone else feel this way?
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Aug 24, 2011 10:09
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Jay Dub posted:Huh. Yeah, I guess he is. I guess I'm just more annoyed at the marketing, obviously I haven't seen the movie so I can't really comment one way or the other on the actual content. Perhaps I'm just too easily put off by certain kinds of advertising.
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Aug 25, 2011 03:46
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It begs the question: Is SJP actually capable of doing anything that isn't in some way a ripoff of Sex and the City?
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Sep 19, 2011 10:30
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I liked Danny Reid's review, is he going to be a more frequent contributor or was that sort of an advertisement?
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Sep 26, 2011 17:37
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Professor Clumsy posted:Just a neighbourly plug for his website. I like that style better than some early SA front page updates where sometimes an article would just end with the writer plugging some random website without much more than a few lines about how they knew the guy or whatever, at least we got a taste of his work this way!
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Sep 27, 2011 05:03
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TheBigBudgetSequel posted:Everyone giving 45s out to good movies. Did you edit it out? I only sort of vaguely remembered it but at Angela Christine's comment that it was too realistic I went back to look at it but it wasn't there.
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Sep 28, 2011 04:29
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TheBigBudgetSequel posted:I believe it was removed, yes. This is what it looked like (Linked) http://i.imgur.com/gG4e0.png Well at any rate, I think the Movie of the Week graphic is enough, the ratings speak for themselves usually. Although having a giant poop next to Taylor Lautner's face isn't exactly a bad thing.
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Sep 28, 2011 22:21
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I liked the extra section, and it could probably work as a somewhat regular thing. Being on the last page gives it an optional read kind of feel, and might appeal to those who say the reviews aren't "Something Awful enough." I also want to say how much I enjoy the way you guys avoid puns for the most part. Entertainment journalism (hell, journalism in general) is slowly drowning in a deluge of low effort blogs where anyone anywhere can poo poo their opinions into the ears of anyone willing to listen, so your reviews are a refreshing breath of clean, pun free air.
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Oct 9, 2011 04:14
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I think the writing has been high quality enough that they can justifiably rip into other people occasionally. Think of it as a public service to others to keep them away from bad reviewers!
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Oct 9, 2011 11:45
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Uh oh you both have anecdotal evidence who is right? 
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Oct 10, 2011 20:09
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My parents are so dead set against Footloose as if the very making of this movie itself is a personal insult, which almost made me want to go see it just to be subversive, but your review pushed me over the edge
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Oct 16, 2011 10:38
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You could look at as more of a "If your rear end absolutely has to be in a theater seat this week, this is your least obnoxious bet." Like if you had a date that wanted to go see a new movie and you'd seen everything you wanted to from previous weeks, or if you have a group of friends that traditionally meets to watch a movie and talk about it or something.
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Nov 9, 2011 03:43
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Y-Hat posted:Well obviously you'll have to include Marmaduke in it somehow. Someone said he did so much coke his nipples turned into scabs and fell off.
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Nov 11, 2011 14:58
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I'm glad on some weird sadistic level that The Darkest Hour is terrible. The first trailer I saw was the one that was just the dog sitting there and suddenly the thing happens and I just laughed out loud. I couldn't figure it out, was that supposed to be scary? And then the quotes in later TV commercials were just as laughable. "If we go out there, we're dust!" Maybe they should have played it for laughs like Slither and made it a comedy?
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Dec 28, 2011 13:29
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Bedevere posted:I am unsure why we need American versions of films that were perfectly fine in their own language (Let the right one In comes to mind). I have heard people who otherwise seem pretty intelligent and capable go on about how they can't stand subtitled movies, baffles the poo poo out of me. Guess they don't get to partake in Kurosawa and so their lives will forever be lacking. "Why are we watching a foreign movie? You'd think if it was any good they would make an American version." - Hank Hill
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Jan 13, 2012 16:01
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How can anyone say Professor Clumsy isn't funny? Look, he said "penis" a bunch of times!
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Jan 22, 2012 13:55
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There was also that minority report he wrote about that Harold and Kumar movie where he said they were an interracial gay couple, but I took that as a joke. Not trying to fuel the fire here, just pointing it out edit: found it quote:I have never seen a Harold & Kumar movie, and up until now I was operating under the assumption that the franchise was incredibly progressive for depicting an interracial homosexual couple getting by in modern America. There goes all my interest in catching up on this series. - Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison
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Mar 5, 2012 23:12
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The minority reports were hilarious this week.
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Apr 2, 2012 04:23
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And there's yet another completely random thread in which I learn of a celebrity death. I am not good at news 
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Apr 7, 2012 09:43
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A negative review about a movie you like or are interested in seeing is not necessarily a personal attack on your taste in movies.
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Apr 30, 2012 10:16
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I was actually disappointed in an aspect of the Avengers review: Clumsy never mentioned if Joss Whedon managed to get Scarlett Johanssen's shoes off and her feet magnified to whatever ridiculous resolution he could achieve with his cameras.
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May 1, 2012 04:21
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CantDecideOnAName posted:I thought Tarantino was the one with the foot fetish? Look who never watched Firefly or Serenity.
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May 3, 2012 07:19
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What I have learned from Professor Clumsy's review and from seeing Avengers is that I should never ever loving figure out what film language is because I will never enjoy movies again. Ignorance in this case is truly bliss and I don't envy you and your bizarre gift. Well, I guess I shouldn't say you don't enjoy movies, you certainly enjoyed Skyline 
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May 4, 2012 09:10
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I'm not saying Clumsy's review was bad or doesn't have a place, I still enjoyed the read. But I will say you have plenty of time to pick out weird esoteric bits like that when you clearly don't care about the characters and what they're doing, which has been obvious since his first review of a Marvel movie. I'd still prefer to read his reviews over anyone else though, he does at least think his opinions through and writes very well. My local paper is poo poo, and I don't bother going anywhere else on the internet.
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May 4, 2012 09:42
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Gonna commit a series of felonies and leave notes at each location with one portion of the url for one of your reviews, and then allow myself to be caught, yelling "DOT COM MOTHERFUCKERS!"
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Jun 25, 2012 10:04
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Professor Clumsy posted:I haven't seen The Dark Knight Rises yet. But, IF I don't like it you guys aren't going to send me death threats, are you? You should just have someone review it in all caps just saying stuff like "THIS MOVIE WAS AWESOME!!!1! BATMAN TOTALLY RULES + IS WAY BETTER THAN SUPERMAN" and then at the end have some really passive aggressive statement about the alternative to well thought out criticism and journalistic integrity. edit: maybe have some grandiose political statement in the review too so we can see if you can get gabusan riled up.
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Jul 18, 2012 23:57
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These reviews were great. I like the variety of writers you guys have, it makes it really interesting, and Sean was in rare form especially.
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Oct 8, 2012 11:48
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John Dyne posted:Or just plain want to wear that many necklaces? Pretty sure you just described one of the layers of hell
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Dec 11, 2012 06:50
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