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Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Pelican Street posted:

I'm only 10 minutes in to that Don't Tell The Bride episode and I'm cringing already. The fact he just calmy wipes her brother off the guest list is pretty heartless. :(

E: what a trainwreck!

What a twat that man was. I was cringing the whole way through, but the bit that really got to me was when she was walking down the aisle and the room was completely empty save for four occupied chairs. It was just the saddest thing. Okay, running off to get married might be fun for some people, but clearly not for her and her family.

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Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

So here I am, fully prepared for an hours' worth of period drama stodge from ITV in the shape of Downton Abbey. The nights are drawing in, I had chocolate, and Maggie Smith had donned her corsets in order to entertain the nation, oh happy day. (Look, I'm female, I'm allowed to enjoy this sort of thing, okay?)

Except I live in Scotland, where STV -in their infinite wisdon- has decided to show a repeat of some Billy Connelly bollocks from a year ago instead.

This was the one thing ITV has done in the past five years that I have actually wanted to watch. I really do wish they'd all stop playing silly buggers with the programmes in this manner.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Akuma posted:

I guess nobody else watches this Jamie Oliver show but it's pretty eye opening. Education health authority folks made them go back to sugar filled chocolate/strawberry milk (rather than regular old milk) at an elementary school because the kids are more likely to drink it (and get some calcium.) No poo poo.

They might be the same folks that mandated that every meal have two portions of bread. For primary school kids.

The state of the food given to kids at school in the UK is pretty awful. Even after Jamie Olivers' previous programme about the subject, and the subsequent government campaign to get healthy food back on the menu, the choices are still utter shite. I went with my cousin to pick her 5-year old up from school and it was a full-on carbohydrate-fest. "Macaroni & chips", "Pizza & chips" and "Chips & chips". There were a few sad vegetables there, but the kids ignored them and there was no attempt on the part of the lunch ladies or teachers to get the kids to eat them. Plus, at the brand-new local high school there are apparently no water fountains, but there are fizzy juice vending machines on every floor.

Mind you, I do live in Glasgow, where "macaroni cheese inna pie" and "Greggs sausage roll with cheese and Heinz beans baked into it" are considered delicacies, so the local council might just have given up in pure despair.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

cloudchamber posted:

I think it's The Grid, or possibly Pruit Igoe from the Koyaanisqatsi soundtrack.

It's definitely Pruit Igoe (also used to fantastic effect in the recent Watchmen movie)

Nice to hear a bit of Philip Glass on mainstream telly.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Nikolai Fuckharin posted:

I'm hoping there's more shape shifting old ladies

I hope we find out more about Superhoodie. And also that poor Simon gets a girlfriend. Preferably one that isn't just using him for information and doesn't die accidentally at his hand not five minutes after giving him a kiss.

I love Misfits, it was the best thing on the telly last year (well, that and Being Human)

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Pablo Bluth posted:

Does anyone else watch Merlin?

When it first started, it suffered a bit from predictable plots and klunky dialogue, but as it nears the end of it's third season it's improved immensely. It's still no Deadwood, but it livens up Saturday evening when ITV are busy spewing out x-factor dross.

I watch it when I'm babysitting my very small niece and nephew. It's nowhere near as entertaining as Doctor Who, but it's an acceptable substitute. (I should confess that my enjoyment of it is directly proportional to the amount of time Arthur spends shirtless in any given episode.)

But yeah, it really has improved this last season. It's still formulaic but Morgana going evil has helped matters; it's given the season a strong backbone upon which to hang all the monster of the week plots. And tonights' episode about the Fisher King was very solid indeed.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Lot 49 posted:

Also Dispatches sounds too brutal for me tonight:

I know for a fact that I'll switch over to football at the first ad break and not have the fortitude to go back.

Oh, oh my god, watching this just now and I really don't know if I can anymore. The last scene before the ad break showed a dead-eyed little waif of a 16 year old injecting herself with heroin. It's just so desperate and sad and awful.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Scant Consolation posted:

I know some people find them unbearable, but I've just watched the first episode of Giles and Sue Live the Good Life, and I really enjoyed it. Really had me laughing out loud at several points.

You're not alone, I found the show quite funny too. I think it's the way they constantly bicker with each other like a pair of spoiled siblings that I find rather endearing.

Plus, a 40-year old man squealing like a little girl and running away from an inquisitive chicken will always be hilarious.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Watching Merlin with my tiny nephew just now, Arthur has just found a Round Table and knighted some prettyboys called Lancelot, Percival and Gawain. :3:

It might be a silly, cheap-ish BBC childrens' drama, and the plots, acting & dialogue might be incredibly daft sometimes, but the story itself is still incredibly strong. The tiny nephew is enthralled.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

I'm sure Miranda Hart (her that does that execrable Miranda sitcom) is a jolly nice person in real life, but her voice does my head in.

She's hosting HIGNFY tonight. 3 minutes in and I want to throw something through the screen to stop her saying anything else in that wobbly, posh girly-girl voice of hers.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Noreaus posted:

I hope it's on iPlayer so I can recommend it to people.

I hope it's on iPlayer because the only telly in my household has been playing XFactor for the past two hours, and every time I so much as look at the remote control I get sat upon and threatened with extreme violence by my mother and sister.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Gram-O-Phone posted:

You need another telly.

I'm normally in my own house, where X-Factor is banned, but I was helping decorate at my mums' all today. You would think that such a selfless act would have meant we could have compromised and maybe watched Sherlock on BBC3 but noooo, we absolutely needed to watch 5 excitable Justin Bieber clones, a grubby-looking bloke and a pretty lassie dressed up like a giant Quality Street chocolate sing badly at Simon Cowell.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Lot 49 posted:

Whistle and I'll Come To You.

It's got John Hurt. The story is creepy as gently caress. The 60s adapation was absolute class. I've got high hopes.

Ohhhh, I wasn't aware of this. Thanks for bringing it up! The original short story is one of my absolute favourites, it's just such a perfectly chilly, nasty little tale.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Charlie Brookers' NewsWipe is on just now, which is lovely (the idea of Debate Hero being a particularly wonderful one), but can anyone please tell me the piece of classical music that was on during the BP oil spill section, when the American is talking with revulsion about Dawn dish soap?. It's driving me a little mad trying to remember it.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

SeanBeansShako posted:

I'm surprised you guys are asking what the music is though to be honest everything sounds slightly off with a moog, It is Henry Purcells Funeral of Queen Mary.

In other words, the classical original version of the Theme of Kubricks A Clockwork Orange. Here it is on YouTube.

Thank you very much. I was on the right track as I felt it had something to do with Kubrick. I was thinking it was in Barry Lyndon though. Silly old me.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

SeanBeansShako posted:

Him and Her and the latest series of Ideal was okay as was Mongrels but that was three programs.

Three programs!

Being Human is very good and funny in a dark-hued sort of way, so that's four, I guess. (The new season of that must be coming on again soon, yeah?)

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Brown Moses posted:

Being Human returns on Jan 10th, probably one of the better programmes on British TV at the moment.

:woop: Can't wait to see how Mitchell & George bring back Annie from the other side, that was a helluva nasty cliffhanger to leave us on. I hope it keeps to the high standards of last season. It walks that very fine line between brilliance and daftness in the same way that Misfits does.

(Also, I've discovered how you can tell if a BBC3 comedy-drama is going to be any good, because if it is, it will have Russell Tovey in it. He was in Gavin and Stacey, he's in Being Human and he's in Him & Her. I'd say that's a fairly reliable indicator.)

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Ddraig posted:

Just to make sure I'm not going insane and made up the entire thing, I'm pretty sure Sue Perkins did a huge presentation about the BBC and comedy in general following the huge "Sachsgate" scandal (I'm pretty sure this is what triggered it)? Does anyone have a link to it or am I a crazy person?


I seem to remember this too, and a little Googling reveals it was the annual RTS Huw Weldon Lecture. It was entitled "Wit's End? British Comedy at the Crossroads" and was broadcast early 2009.

I can't find any video of it, but the full transcript is linked here: http://www.rts.org.uk/Events_det.asp?sec_id=3171&art_id=7462

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Nobody else watching Derren Brown: Enigma? It's awfully good fun. He's doing Victorian Spiritualist tricks, and doing them very well. In addition to being an actual witch, his showmanship and rapport with the audience is very good.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Xachariah posted:

Son of a bitch

Coincidentally these were the exact words I said to my telly too.

When loving McFly came on the camera and started to sing the order of objects I actually forgot to breathe for a little minute. I don't even care how the tricks were done, that was simply the most fun 90 minutes of television I've seen in ages. (Why didn't they put this on at Christmas instead of the dreck we actually got?)

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Flatscan posted:

Tramadol Nights.

You are a terrible person.

Midge, in addition to Peep Show I would recommend Misfits. Show of the year, in my opinion.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Ben Soosneb posted:

What was that slightly dark and depressing, yet weirdly endearing and jolly thing with Dawn French getting back from work?

I saw a couple and thought it looked worth giving a proper run through but then promptly forgot about it. Until now. Worth tracking down?

e: Roger & Val Have Just Got In, that's what it was called.

I liked it. It was quite funny in a subtle, melancholic sort of way. Both actors were very good in it, and the depiction of a reasonably happy, middle-class, middle-aged marriage was spot on (the episode spent hunting down the Hoover guarantee certificate was undoubtedly lifted from my own parents marriage)

Plus, anybody who has a soft spot for Alfred Molina should enjoy it.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Kin posted:

I was wondering about that because i've been pulled in the same way you have. Surely not all babies look the same and while it's only been a few days since he was born wouldn't a parent kinda know that the baby looks slightly different to the one they've been looking at for the last few days?

Even if that's not conclusive enough, wouldn't any half decent hospital pick up on the baby having different vitals like bloodtype, weight, eye colour, and whatever other medical record things they might do to babies when they're born?

I've known mums whose only glance at their baby was when they were loopy from the anaesthetic used during a Caesarean still be able to accurately pick out their baby from a room of a dozen near-identical newborns hours later. I guarantee that a doting mother and father will know everything about the physical appearance of their newborn, from the shape of its' nails to how many milkspots it has to the exact length and number of its' eyelashes. Plus, if the baby was only a few days old the midwife would still be doing daily visits. And she would notice too. There would be a dozen things different about the baby that she would pick up on (weight, umbilical cord condition, rate of feeding, head shape, stool production....)

It's all just unbearably ridiculous. And unbearably offensive in its' depiction of a grieving mother. Women who lose a baby to SIDS don't run out and steal another baby, as if any kid would do. They want their own baby. Quite often they can't even bear to look at another womans' child for weeks, or even months.

This is just creating the impression in peoples' minds that a grieving mother is a raving, unstable bundle of madness who should be treated with extreme caution, or perhaps avoided. When in fact a women who has lost a baby is likely to be desperately unhappy, prone to depression and solitude, and should be treated with kindness and given help and love by her friends and family.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Oh happy day, a repeat of My Big Fat Gyspy Wedding has just come on More4 :allears:. And there's a whole series of it coming soon. Is it sad that I'm really excited for it?

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

I love One Born Every Minute. The fixed camera & lack of narrator mean that everything feels incredibly natural, the women aren't too selfconscious, the midwives are wonderful and the little stories that unfold are incredibly moving.

But my god, some of the men shouldn't be allowed anywhere near those hospital rooms. Especially the 18 year-old goony lad, who participates in the following conversation:

Midwife: "I'm just gonna break your waters with this little plastic stick thing, okay?"
Teenage Girl: "Ooooh...okay?"
Goony Lad: "Hey, it looks like the hook the Ancient Egyptians used to rip the brains of the dead out through their noses!"
Teenage Girl: :gonk:

Yeah. Real helpful, goony lad.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

SeanBeansShako posted:

My Mother has been studying Nursing in Uni for the last few months and I swear that program has finally convinced her to go into Midwifery which she has been kicking around in her head all these years.

Good TV changes lives.

Best of luck to your mum. I went into midwifery (though I left the profession years ago), which is why the programme interests me so much.

Have to say though, the lovely, smiley midwives on this programme weren't much like the ones I knew in real life. There's a hell of a lot more bitching and backstabbing on a high-pressure inner-city birthing unit than is shown on One Born Every Minute. A lot of my old supervisors didn't think they'd done a proper days work until they'd made an junior member of staff cry. :( Probably it's better these days though.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

goatface posted:

As always, it would just be easier to kill a few billion people.

Ah, I think we've found the name that Ra's Al Ghul uses to post on these forums.

It was -as all these programmes tend to be- deeply uncomfortable viewing, with no easy answers. I suppose the best an average person like me can do is stop eating cod and try to find some ethically sourced monkfish? That, or turn vegetarian.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

FractionMan posted:

I have now seen Jonathan Ross eating Heston Blumenthal's chocolate starfish.

Thanks Channel 4.

I could have done without that, but I wouldn't mind some of that wolf fish & chips, everyone seemed to find it delicious. Okay, it's not exactly a looker, but in my experience, the more hideous a fish is, the yummier it tastes.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Doombrain posted:

Michael Socha sans shirt in Being Human tonight.

That is all.

Russell Tovey showing off his admirable bum too.

And even discounting all the gratuitous nakedness it was a reasonable episode, too. The scene is set on Barry Island, Annie is back, and the vampire-hunting werewolves should prove to be a good plot line.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

King Crab posted:

Embarrassing Bodies is simultaneously horrifying and hilarious.

I bloody love it :unsmith:

I have no idea why these people talk about being too embarrassed to go to their GP with their terrible bisected vaginas/prolapsed rectums/warty penises, but will quite happily go on national telly and flash them to the world.

It's baffling. I don't understand why or how they live with these problems for years. Especially the bloke walking about with a hernia the size of a newborn baby hanging off his abdomen :stare: Surely the first time you saw it poking out and wobbling gently you would be like "Welp, time to see a surgeon"

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

reflir posted:

I have no idea what this is but am now imagining a Phillips-head penis. Thanks, guy.

It's not really bisected, I suppose, it's called uterus didelphys. The poor lass has two sets of reproductive organs: two uteruses, two cervixes and two vaginas seperated by a thin wall of muscule tissue. It makes having sex and trying for a baby a bit of an unusual experience for all concerned. It's not that uncommon; in my line of work I see this or one of the other uterine malformations (unicornate, bicornate, septum) a couple times a month.

Never met a woman willing to have vaginal examinations and talk about it on telly before though. Mind you, I suppose if it gets another few worried, silent women to go to their GP and get examined then more power to the show.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Royality posted:

Cypriots and Greeks go loving mental for Eurovision. I lived with a few of them and they were genuinely perplexed when I told them I wouldn't be making an extra special effort to watch it. They had a huge party and were especially loud that evening (they have one volume and it's SHOUTING).

To be fair, having a Eurovision party is pretty awesome. I hate X-Factor and all that sort of processed pop gubbins, but going to a party with about 20 other people, picking out a country to cheer on and drinking the national drink of said country whilst noisily berating the blatantly prejudiced Eastern Bloc voters is jolly good fun.

Last year I recall cheering on a couple of women whose costumes exploded into giant butterfly wings during their final chorus. It was amazingly entertaining. You just don't get that level of pure, joyous insanity in the cynical world of British and American pop.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

keep punching joe posted:

The Glasgow Sauchiehall Street Waterstones is still a very good book shop, though the grown up books section is being increasingly encroached upon by genre fiction. The Argyle street branch on the flip side is basically like a WH Smiths with black shelves and row upon row of tedious biographies of celebrities/people with 'troubled lives'.

I miss the giant Borders that used to be on Buchanan Street. It had a nice atmosphere, and lots of unexpected corners and stairs that took you to strange, previously undiscovered areas containing many fascinating books (and generally also a confused-looking pensioner in tartan carpet slippers. There always was one, I don't know why, or where they came from...)

Having said that, the staff in Waterstones Sauchihall are generally polite, enthusiastic and know a reasonable amount about books. And their childrens' section is bright, cheerful and welcoming to small readers and their parents.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

marktheando posted:

Yeah I'm watching it now waiting for Louis Theroux and I'm just baffled. They are getting emotional about being able to fetch wine for rich bastards.

I'm not watching and have no idea what their education level is, but if you've been marginalised and made to feel like crap most of your life, being successful at anything -even waitressing- will make you really loving happy.

I've done work with adult learners, and things that seem really small to us smartarses on the internet make a huge difference to them. I'm talking about tiny things, like being able to set up an email address, understanding how to take money & make change for a customer on a till, reading and filling in a job application all by yourself.

Okay, fetching wine for rich bastards may sound a bit degrading, but it's still better than sitting on your bum watching Cash in the Attic while being too scared to open that letter from the Job Centre, because you know it'll say that they're cutting your benefits. At least with the wine there's a chance you could find it interesting, and eventually become a sommelier (I just googled and an assistant sommelier gets an average wage of £18000, which is more than I get, for gods sake).

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Brown Moses posted:

This new nature documentry about Madagascar is really good, the tiny lizard they've got on at the moment is really awesome.

The lizards are so :3: and wee and precious. As are the lemurs. Heck, even the bugs of Madagascar are cute in a weird way.

And we should start thinking seriously about how to clone David Attenborough. Because he is getting old, and the world really still needs a nice, gentle-voiced British man to keep on telling it about all the amazing things it's got, and why it shouldn't kill them off.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

cloudchamber posted:

Benedict Cumberbatch.

He's so dreamy :allears: And he does have a lovely voice and a wonderful name.

But I'd still rather have a David Attenclone, lovingly filmed in HD, forever bimbling about the jungles of Borneo in his lovely khaki trousers and blue shirt, gently pondering the mysterious mating rituals of some small endangered animal while the BBC Orchestra plays some delightfully whimsical music in the background.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

goatface posted:

YES. More people need to be exposed to Rastamouse.

Stupid hypnotic show. I was babysitting and it was on. At first I was boggled, then I was enthralled. There needs to be more stop-motion mice on our tellies.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Megaterium posted:

Keeping it relevant, embarrassing bodies tonight had one of the worst looking cases of a Staphylococcus aureus infection I've ever seen.

The original injury + bacterial infection + his compromised immune system = the perfect storm of horribleness.

I could almost smell it through the TV screen and that poor bugger had been living with it for 18 months. I couldn't have lived with it for 18 minutes!

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Dicky B posted:

"Any reference to any culture other than your own is racism." -mumset.com posters

Guess I'll have to tell my white, Catholic, Scottish nieces and nephews that they can't watch any more Rastamouse then.

Pity, because there is actually nothing weirder and cuter than a 5-year old Glaswegian attempting to imitate a Rastafarian accent. :3:

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Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

Daedo posted:

Unless you live in Scotland, in which case some documentary interview thing was aired instead -_-

Channel 865 (on Virgin at least) is your friend then. It shows BBC2 England, none of that silly Scottish fiddling with the proper order of programmes.

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