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I apologize if I should be in Ask/Tell for this thread... but I felt I'd get an accurater answer from GBS. Do they? Get buried standing up? Somebody told me this at a company Christmas party tonight, and I believed them. I got home and asked a Jewish friend who said no, and seemed mildly offended. I went to GOOGLE and it told me this: "Yes because they say that when they die they go to a man with a boat who will take them to where they want to go and they have to pay the man so if they are buried standing up the money wont fall out of their pockets." Any Joons out there want to confirm this? This is not meant to be offensive in any way... This was honestly said to me tonight, and I believed, because, I had never been taught otherwise. Teach me GBS. Photoshop diagrams may help. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:29 |
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| # ? May 26, 2013 07:57 |
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The not so subtle and subtle Anti-Semite bias here is hilarious.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:31 |
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God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title
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Pon de Bundy posted:The not so subtle and subtle Anti-Semite bias here is hilarious. "Joons." Heh.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:32 |
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 E: I mean, I'm sure the one site you checked was good, but there appear to be a few.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:34 |
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On their heads.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:34 |
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In case this was serious, no. Jews are supposed to be buried (laying down) ASAP, within 2-3 days of death. Strict Jews prohibit cremation (though Reform Jews tend to be cool with it) and most Jewish cemeteries will not allow you to be buried if you have a tattoo.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:35 |
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So basically what you're asking us to do is make you photoshops of dead Jews being buried vertically? Is this a sex thing for you?
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:35 |
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What the
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:36 |
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As a jew I can say no, we do not get buried standing up. We're buried as quickly as possible, but that happens in a laying-down position. Also burn all the pork.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:36 |
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As a Jew I can field this question. Yes we get buried upright otherwise we can't rise as the undead and take our rightful place in the national banks and Hollywood.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:36 |
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This thread is pretty odd :P Why would jews get buried standing up? I have never even heard of this before.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:37 |
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Why yes, it makes perfect sense that an ancient religious ritual is based on the premise that Jewish people don't want money to fall from their pockets on the way to the afterlife. What are you, retarded?
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:38 |
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only if a Joon dies in June
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:39 |
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As a Muslim, I can confirm I saw on Palestinian television that Jews don't die, they just drink Palestinian blood. (Sadly this is not far from what some people actually believe)
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:39 |
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Pon de Bundy posted:As a Muslim, I can confirm I saw on Palestinian television that Jews don't die, they just drink Palestinian blood. (Sadly this is not far from what some people actually believe) That is totally incorrect. We drink Palestinian blood ONLY when we're eating Christian babies. Like red wine with meat 
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:41 |
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gently caress you.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:41 |
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Influence100 posted:"Yes because they say that when they die they go to a man with a boat who will take them to where they want to go and they have to pay the man so if they are buried standing up the money wont fall out of their pockets." That would be Charon, the ferryman for the River Styx in Greek myth. Ancient Greeks were buried with a coin in their mouths to pay him, lest they be forced to wander on the wrong bank of the Styx for a hundred years. But no, that's not part of the Jewish tradition.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:43 |
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titfucking posted:gently caress you. oh no, here comes "titfucking" from the Internet to give you the what-for. 
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:44 |
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Byzantine posted:That would be Charon, the ferryman for the River Styx in Greek myth. Ancient Greeks were buried with a coin in their mouths to pay him, lest they be forced to wander on the wrong bank of the Styx for a hundred years. I thought the coins were put over the eyes. Huh. I learned something. Unlike the OP, that racist bitchass.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:45 |
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Jews do have some interesting burial rites though. For example, Jews are wrapped in a white tunic, unlike other religions where you are buried in your Sunday best. Honestly, which is cooler? Wearing the fancypants clothes of the living to your grave or the heavenly white robes one would expect?
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:45 |
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"Not embalmed" HEATHENS! I want to be preserved like that hot dog i found in an abandoned RV's refridgerator so future generations can enjoy my meaty goodness.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:48 |
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I bury jews in mass graves.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:49 |
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I all of a sudden have an urge to create a thread asking is it's true that black people can't swim. I don't know why though...
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:50 |
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Hydrogen Oxide posted:I bury jews in mass graves. God drat it, Hitler's here. drat it Hitler, we're sick of you just crashing our threads. No one likes you, Hitler!
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 08:51 |
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Bash Ironfist posted:I thought the coins were put over the eyes. Huh. I learned something. Unlike the OP, that racist bitchass. After further checking, apparently it could be either way. As long as you had the money, I guess it didn't matter.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:10 |
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FYI, jews are part of a global conspiracy to take over the world with kosher food and maffia hats.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:11 |
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Patter Song posted:In case this was serious, no. Jews are supposed to be buried (laying down) ASAP, within 2-3 days of death. Strict Jews prohibit cremation (though Reform Jews tend to be cool with it) and most Jewish cemeteries will not allow you to be buried if you have a tattoo. What about holocaust survivors? 
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:13 |
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Jews actually get buried sideways edit: no wait I'm thinking of Asians
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:17 |
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^^^ Ah, to be mistakenly buried alive in ancient Greece only to choke to death by your family's prayers that you'll be safe in the afterlife.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:18 |
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gently caress you.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:21 |
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Why aren't we burying Joons upwards? seems a more appropriate question.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:23 |
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CONFIRM/DENY: Atheists are buried bent at the waist to make perfect 90° angles.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:27 |
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Worst Case Ontario posted:CONFIRM/DENY: Atheists are buried bent at the waist to make perfect 90° angles. 100% true.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:35 |
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True. But only if the Jew gets captured by Indians (the feather kind).
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:37 |
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Worst Case Ontario posted:CONFIRM/DENY: Atheists are buried bent at the waist to make perfect 90° angles.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:38 |
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You have confused Jews with Chinese Vampires. Pretty easy mistake
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:38 |
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Fossilized ancient Jews: Click here for the full 1000x725 image.
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:38 |
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Joon bugs.... Jews are frugal
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:39 |
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Patter Song posted:In case this was serious, no. Jews are supposed to be buried (laying down) ASAP, within 2-3 days of death. Strict Jews prohibit cremation (though Reform Jews tend to be cool with it) and most Jewish cemeteries will not allow you to be buried if you have a tattoo. What did they do with holocaust survivors then?
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 09:52 |
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| # ? May 26, 2013 07:57 |
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They probably let the survivors go on their merry way. I mean it would suck to survive that whole thing only to be buried afterward no?
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| # ? Dec 11, 2010 10:03 |
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