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Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

The semi-anonymous element of the internet is a wonderful thing because you can say things on here with minor retribution that you normally couldn't say even in the safe setting of talking to your therapist. A couple topics like that include thoughts about suicide and homicide. While it's normal for a person to have thoughts and dreams pop into their head that involve homicide and suicide, it's normally not normal to obsess about them throughout the day.

For several years, I've had very violent dreams. They've ranged from comical dreams where I imagined slaughtering hundreds of people and dropping them into dumpsters while a video game style score was up in the corner of my vision to carving up my old boss with a knife in graphic detail while feeling the pain. I am quite far from the type of person who would visit violence upon another, yet I can't keep the thoughts from popping in every once in a while. Tell anything like that to your therapist, and you'll find yourself locked up in the name of public safety very quickly.

Suicidal thoughts also will get you in hot water. Even mentioning that you have thought about suicide will lead to lengthy discussions where they'll try to draw it out of you even more. Then, once they feel they've established that you're suicidal, you'll get the cops called on you to "restrain" you.

On a happy note, no arresting has happened to me as a result of my therapy sessions, but I had a friend who is not suicidal that mentioned that he was having suicidal thoughts and wanted to discuss them with his therapist. Of course, they called the cops on him and he had to find a new therapist.

What horrible things pop through your mind that you don't mind telling the internet about?

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King of the Mambo
Aug 2, 2009


Wow, you're hosed up.

Hoborg
Oct 19, 2006

by T. Mascis


Nautatrol Rx posted:

For several years, I've had very violent dreams. They've ranged from comical dreams where I imagined slaughtering hundreds of people and dropping them into dumpsters while a video game style score was up in the corner of my vision to carving up my old boss with a knife in graphic detail while feeling the pain. I am quite far from the type of person who would visit violence upon another, yet I can't keep the thoughts from popping in every once in a while. Tell anything like that to your therapist, and you'll find yourself locked up in the name of public safety very quickly.

I'm not a psychologist, but I'm guessing maybe you need to lay-off the Grand Theft Auto. When I play a particular game for a while even I start having dreams about it. My worst was when I was hooked on this text-based MMO, I had vivid dreams of saying and doing stupid and unacceptable things, and whenever I woke up I went right to my computer to email the admins to check the logs to see if I actually logged in that night (sleepgaming, anyone?).

Nautatrol Rx posted:

Suicidal thoughts also will get you in hot water. Even mentioning that you have thought about suicide will lead to lengthy discussions where they'll try to draw it out of you even more. Then, once they feel they've established that you're suicidal, you'll get the cops called on you to "restrain" you.

Uhhhhh, I can't say that was my experience at all. It depends on how far 'down the line' you are. "Suicide ideation" is a very common occurrence especially when people are under a lot of stress, but it remains only a marginal risk-factor and is not always a reliable indicator of actual willingness to /yourself.

Nautatrol Rx posted:

On a happy note, no arresting has happened to me as a result of my therapy sessions, but I had a friend who is not suicidal that mentioned that he was having suicidal thoughts and wanted to discuss them with his therapist. Of course, they called the cops on him and he had to find a new therapist.

That's not right.

Nautatrol Rx posted:

What horrible things pop through your mind that you don't mind telling the internet about?

I don't and I wouldn't. At least with a therapist there's patient/doctor confidentiality in-place. I don't feel comfortable about talking about my innermost problems on the Internet, even behind my screenname veil. They aren't problems the Internet can solve anyway.

EDIT: I predict in about 3 hours' time I'll regret making this posting because it's a kind of passive/agressive "I don't want to draw attention to the fact I'm messed-up, but simply by saying this I am drawing attention to myself", but is it best I say nothing at all?

RICKON WALNUTSBANE
Jun 13, 2001



Nautatrol Rx posted:


It sounds like you've never had a good relationship with a therapist. I suppose if you start therapy with the fear that you'll be committed/arrested for touching on certain subjects if would be impossible to have any kind of trust and your time together would be pointless.

Just curious, who is paying for your therapy?

slutpixie
Apr 12, 2007
hot like 80s love


Therapy doesn't work unless you tell your therapist everything.

Congrats on wasting your time I guess.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

slutpixie posted:

Therapy doesn't work unless you tell your therapist everything.

Congrats on wasting your time I guess.

Congrats on making GBS threads up another thread! Nice to see you again!

RICKON WALNUTSBANE
Jun 13, 2001



Nautatrol Rx, how did you begin seeing a therapist?

gamingCaffeinator
Sep 6, 2010

I shall sing you the song of my people.


Nautatrol Rx posted:


Suicidal thoughts also will get you in hot water. Even mentioning that you have thought about suicide will lead to lengthy discussions where they'll try to draw it out of you even more. Then, once they feel they've established that you're suicidal, you'll get the cops called on you to "restrain" you.

On a happy note, no arresting has happened to me as a result of my therapy sessions, but I had a friend who is not suicidal that mentioned that he was having suicidal thoughts and wanted to discuss them with his therapist. Of course, they called the cops on him and he had to find a new therapist.

What horrible things pop through your mind that you don't mind telling the internet about?

I've never had cops called on me for mentioning suicidal thoughts, but the unpleasantness of being on a 72-hour watch for 'suicidal ideation' was more than enough to convince me never to tell my therapist about any idle thoughts like that.

slutpixie
Apr 12, 2007
hot like 80s love


No seriously. You need to tell your therapist everything in order to be able to work through your issues. I would imagine you're seeking therapy as a means to do something about your violent dreams and suicidal ideation and that therefore not talking about these things to your therapist would be counter productive.

I understand you being freaked out about the possibilities of there being DIRE CONSEQUENCES if you mention that you have violent dreams etc etc but the whole point of being in therapy is being in an honest and open dialogue with a professionally trained doctor who is paid to listen to the things you can't say to other people and help you work through how you feel about said things.

Sorry you seem to hate me but genuinely. You need to tell your therapist poo poo or they can't treat the whole problem. Sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and pray your therapist is actually a good one.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

Foaming Chicken posted:

Nautatrol Rx, how did you begin seeing a therapist?

Familial trauma. I'm happy enough with my therapist, and I'm just wanting to see what other weird, unacceptable things people think about.

If I was really a unique, messed up person, horror writers wouldn't exist and people wouldn't want to read their books.

slutpixie
Apr 12, 2007
hot like 80s love


It might actually help to say to your therapist 'Look I'm worried that if I tell you about the things I think then you'll call the cops or lock me up - could you clarify in concrete terms for me the circumstances that would have to come to pass for you to actually do this'. Raising the issue could well help you out here.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

slutpixie posted:

It might actually help to say to your therapist 'Look I'm worried that if I tell you about the things I think then you'll call the cops or lock me up - could you clarify in concrete terms for me the circumstances that would have to come to pass for you to actually do this'. Raising the issue could well help you out here.

They made it abundantly clear that anything of the sort will result in police being called. Maybe it's a southin' thing. I'm not worried about that because they do not bother me.

I'm not hosed up about my dreams and such. I realize they are violent and not my typical behavior.

However, I've spoken to plenty of people that also have weird things like that pop through their head (whether violent, suicidal, or just strange), and that's what I'm interested in hearing about. I'm not trying to cry out for help or anything.

slutpixie
Apr 12, 2007
hot like 80s love


I do get that. Sorry if you thought I was taking it that way. Of course I'm coming at this from the angle that the place and people I went to for counseling were extremely understanding and it was possible to be open about everything without them freaking out or considering me to be particularly high risk despite me being a complete nutter at the time.

I genuinely wouldn't worry so much about the hosed up dreams or about mentioning them to your therapist though I do understand your reticence - I've never very much liked the idea of being locked up in a loony ward either. Most people can have some pretty awful nightmares - personal ones I can think of tend to be dreams where I try to hit people but physically can't or any number of depressing, terrible things that I've woken in tears from - they're not generally and expression of who you are as a person or your intentions towards other people but rather a screwed up jumble of emotions your brain is trying to process. If you're undergoing mental trauma that requires a therapist it's probably almost inevitable that you're going to have some pretty weird loving dreams. A good therapist should undersand this and be able to reassure you that you're not a psycho, just stressed the gently caress out or upset or whatever it happens to be. Then again a bad therapist can call the cops and have you locked up I guess.

I would say, as a matter of general advice, to maybe find a therapist you trust more not to screw you over if it's possible but like you said - you're not asking for help or advice so that is entirely up to your good self.

Korak
Nov 29, 2007
TV FACIST

Nautatrol Rx posted:

They made it abundantly clear that anything of the sort will result in police being called. Maybe it's a southin' thing. I'm not worried about that because they do not bother me.
Unless you're having thoughts of eating your therapists liver with some fava beans and nice Chianti, you should be telling them everything that is going on in your head. You will not have the cops called on you unless you're making detailed, planned out threats against specific people. Now of course if your thoughts of suicide or violence reach past a certain threshold then the therapist will attempt to get you committed to a mental hospital for a 72 hour evaluation. You should realize they're trying to help you and just go along with it.

Seriously OP, get (more) help.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

slutpixie posted:

I do get that. Sorry if you thought I was taking it that way. Of course I'm coming at this from the angle that the place and people I went to for counseling were extremely understanding and it was possible to be open about everything without them freaking out or considering me to be particularly high risk despite me being a complete nutter at the time.

I genuinely wouldn't worry so much about the hosed up dreams or about mentioning them to your therapist though I do understand your reticence - I've never very much liked the idea of being locked up in a loony ward either. Most people can have some pretty awful nightmares - personal ones I can think of tend to be dreams where I try to hit people but physically can't or any number of depressing, terrible things that I've woken in tears from - they're not generally and expression of who you are as a person or your intentions towards other people but rather a screwed up jumble of emotions your brain is trying to process. If you're undergoing mental trauma that requires a therapist it's probably almost inevitable that you're going to have some pretty weird loving dreams. A good therapist should undersand this and be able to reassure you that you're not a psycho, just stressed the gently caress out or upset or whatever it happens to be. Then again a bad therapist can call the cops and have you locked up I guess.

I would say, as a matter of general advice, to maybe find a therapist you trust more not to screw you over if it's possible but like you said - you're not asking for help or advice so that is entirely up to your good self.

I often enough have those dreams where I can throw punches, but they do nothing to the other party that's attacking me. I've been a fairly decent boxer for a few years, and I've been in a few scraps where I've come out on top, so it's disturbing to feel so powerless.

I guess that's the theme of a lot of those types of dreams. Helplessness. I'm not one for interpreting dreams book-style, but there are some elements of them that can represent things. I was sensitive about the health of my teeth and finally had the classic teeth-falling-out dream.

RICKON WALNUTSBANE
Jun 13, 2001



It sounds like you think your therapist will interpret your dreams as your fantasies. They shouldn't, but they also shouldn't have given you the impression that the police will be called the moment you express any hint of violence so vv

slutpixie
Apr 12, 2007
hot like 80s love


Urgh, I have had many version of the teeth falling out dream. In one I was Brad Pitt and someone knocked my teeth out with a log and I was really upset because I was *Brad Pitt* and now I had no teeth. One time I dreamed I was George Clooney only paralysed from the waist down fighting zombies in the local shopping mall.

My mother used to have re-occurring dreams throughout her school and university career and well into mine about being late for exams or not being able to answer any questions. I have occasionally had similarly re-occurring dreams about an event happening somewhere that everyone I know is going to but I can't get to because the place simply doesn't exist for me. Those ones are as upsetting as the ones about not being able to hit people (though in mine, the people aren't attacking me physically - they've done something terrible to me though usually emotionally and as much as I want to harm them them it's impossible - the blow connects but it's just a weak tap) because as you say there's a sense of overwhelming powerlessness about it. I will say that the dreams mentioned here are ones I was having when I was a lot more unhappy about my life - weird dreams now tend to be lot less re-occurring though sometimes, they do still pop up maybe once every coupe of years.

FYI the teeth falling out dream is viewed as one of those 'fear of death, decay and change' things by people who are into dream analysis but like you I'm not exactly into the whole ANALYSE MY DREAMS stuff - although some of it does make sense, sometimes, as long as you're not reading a whole hell of a lot into it.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

I also have fantasies about jumping out of windows and doing action-star style stuff, but after reading a thread regarding the effects of breaking glass with your body, I'm afraid to even be near windows.

slutpixie
Apr 12, 2007
hot like 80s love


Dreams are weird. Having them isn't a crime so honestly don't worry so much about them. Like Foaming Chicken alluded to - you only need to start worrying about this stuff if you're genuinely fantasising about it. At the point where you start that you may well need the 72 hour evaluation stay but not before.

Eggplant Wizard
Jul 8, 2005


i loev catte


seriouspost, I will tell my therapist lots of stuff I won't ever tell strangers on the internet, but I'm too proud to tell her that I think a lot of my problems come from spending too much time on the damned internet, mostly here and motherfucking farmville.

But mostly you should tell your therapist pretty much everything, because otherwise you can't work through it. And I don't think I've ever thought about killing someone. I can't even punch someone.

ETA: Well, one good thing comes of this thread. Between my shame about this post and general malaise, I decided to quit farmville entirely. Thanks e/n.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010


gamingCaffeinator posted:

I've never had cops called on me for mentioning suicidal thoughts, but the unpleasantness of being on a 72-hour watch for 'suicidal ideation' was more than enough to convince me never to tell my therapist about any idle thoughts like that.

The threat of this happening is exactly why I have never sought help for my own persistent suicidal ideation (which, I should add, I would never act upon). It sucks because I really want to talk about it but I'm afraid of what I feel like is an inevitable overreaction.

Fasheem
Feb 19, 2007



Eggplant Wizard posted:

ETA: Well, one good thing comes of this thread. Between my shame about this post and general malaise, I decided to quit farmville entirely. Thanks e/n.

Maybe you should discuss this with your therapist. It's a big step. (Not really kidding. Probably some other distraction will step up and fill the farm-shaped void, instead of you doing whatever it is you "should" be doing instead. I guess I'm speaking from experience.)

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

Chard posted:

The threat of this happening is exactly why I have never sought help for my own persistent suicidal ideation (which, I should add, I would never act upon). It sucks because I really want to talk about it but I'm afraid of what I feel like is an inevitable overreaction.

It does suck because it's a crapshoot whether you get a nutbar or not as your therapist. You should still seek out help, but you can ease yourself into a relationship with a therapist. Even just dipping your toes in the subject's water can be useful.

Eggplant Wizard
Jul 8, 2005


i loev catte


Fasheem posted:

Maybe you should discuss this with your therapist. It's a big step. (Not really kidding. Probably some other distraction will step up and fill the farm-shaped void, instead of you doing whatever it is you "should" be doing instead. I guess I'm speaking from experience.)

Yeah, I will. I've done what I knew I SHOULD do for ages, which is a better position to talk about it from than "I am addicted to a stupid game and don't really want to stop." Now it's a "Good Patient, have a biscuit" moment instead!

Something else will probably fill the void besides my graduate work, but hopefully it'll be reading books again, or cooking, or making things, instead of just clicking, clicking, clicking. Thanks for the props

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

Eggplant Wizard posted:

Yeah, I will. I've done what I knew I SHOULD do for ages, which is a better position to talk about it from than "I am addicted to a stupid game and don't really want to stop." Now it's a "Good Patient, have a biscuit" moment instead!

Something else will probably fill the void besides my graduate work, but hopefully it'll be reading books again, or cooking, or making things, instead of just clicking, clicking, clicking. Thanks for the props

You're a grad student? You should probably try to find a second therapist just to be safe.

Edit: Please someone post something that's on the topic before I get banned for the worst thread in SA history.

Dr. Strangler
Jul 21, 2009

I 'snapped' and killed a bird and its baby purely because their chirping annoyed me. I got a buzz out of killing them both with one shot.

In other words, I have the mind of a serial killer.

Came to the thread expecting weird goon stuff, got the lamest thread ever instead. Thanks alot, Slutpixie.

AntimatterSpork
Apr 22, 2008

Modéré, je vous prie.


hey guys tell your therapists all your hosed up poo poo thats what theyre for

pokie
Apr 26, 2008

IT HAPPENED!


Nautatrol Rx posted:

Edit: Please someone post something that's on the topic before I get banned for the worst thread in SA history.

You're hosed, man. I told my therapist everything. EVERYTHING.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

pokie posted:

You're hosed, man. I told my therapist everything. EVERYTHING.

Yeah, you're probably right, so I'm going for the Goon(TM) Gold. There is absolutely nothing dumber I could do than making this thread and expecting the sperg lords to help me make it work... except for this:

gently caress YOU MODS!

P.S. The mods do a good job here and keep assholes like me out.

P.P.S. If I get probated for a while, they're just doing me a favor at this point. gently caress my lameass thread making skills.

Judakel
Jul 29, 2004


I AM UNABLE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT MARXISM WITHOUT TURNING IN TO A FECES THROWING APE.

DO NOT ENGAGE ME IN CONVERSATION UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO SHOVE MY FINGERS IN TO MY EARS AND THREATEN TO KILL YOU.

IMAGINATION TRUMPS ANY PROOF YOU HAVE.


Nautatrol Rx posted:

Congrats on making GBS threads up another thread! Nice to see you again!

He is right. There is no point in going if you are not being honest.

Democratic Pirate
Feb 17, 2010



I once played a full game of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare in my dreams before. Map=Crossfire. Went a fairly decent 24-8.

Then it segued into me making out with some chick I knew in high school.

It probably means she plays COD.

Hydrolith
Oct 30, 2009



Nautatrol Rx posted:

Congrats on making GBS threads up another thread! Nice to see you again!

No, he's absolutely right and you're goddamn retarded. If you don't feel you can tell your therapist everything, switch therapist. It's absolutely critical to getting better.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

DO NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE THING I SAY

Democratic Pirate posted:

I once played a full game of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare in my dreams before. Map=Crossfire. Went a fairly decent 24-8.

Then it segued into me making out with some chick I knew in high school.

It probably means she plays COD.

Deus Ex loving Machina.

Content: I often fantasize about one-upping my therapist in his own field. I also do the same regarding my teachers. I've done both successfully, but I feel like crap after doing so because it's just mental masturbation.

pokie
Apr 26, 2008

IT HAPPENED!


Nautatrol Rx posted:

Yeah, you're probably right, so I'm going for the Goon(TM) Gold. There is absolutely nothing dumber I could do than making this thread and expecting the sperg lords to help me make it work... except for this:

I feel like this was a decent thread idea. This stuff is hit or miss.

To semi-contribute, I used to dream about MMOs before MMOs existed. In the future of my dreams, the entire world population would log in at a prescribed time to play a role in an epic fantasy struggle. Now that MMOs do exist I have no desire to play them. So I guess this speaks of futility of aspirations or something like that.

HRKR
Oct 20, 2008


Nautatrol Rx posted:

Deus Ex loving Machina.

Content: I often fantasize about one-upping my therapist in his own field. I also do the same regarding my teachers. I've done both successfully, but I feel like crap after doing so because it's just mental masturbation.

No need to feel like crap, that's the second best kind of masturbation.

Hooves
Nov 25, 2010

by Y Kant Ozma Post


I haven't told my therapist that I used to smoke crack.

blaarghh
Nov 28, 2007



If you don't tell your therapist everything, then how is therapy meant to work? And surely the more hosed up the thing is, the more important it should be to tell your therapist. Or am I an idiot?

Azure Renraku
Oct 6, 2003


Foaming Chicken posted:

It sounds like you think your therapist will interpret your dreams as your fantasies. They shouldn't, but they also shouldn't have given you the impression that the police will be called the moment you express any hint of violence so vv

Therapists that condemn people for their dreams don't stay therapists for very long. It's normal for dreams to get crazy. Everyone has dreams involving freedom, helplessness, social anxiety, etc. It's part of being human.

What is important to the therapist is the CAUSE of those dreams. You might be having the dream where your punches don't hurt someone because you're a boxer, and you're confident in your punches, so if they don't work, then you feel helpless. Or you might be having that dream about murdering people because you beat off to it every night. The therapist is there to make sure that if there's a real scary cause behind those dreams, that it can be sorted out.

Serrath
Mar 17, 2005

I have nothing of value to contribute

Nautatrol Rx posted:

Tell anything like that to your therapist, and you'll find yourself locked up in the name of public safety very quickly.
.....
Then, once they feel they've established that you're suicidal, you'll get the cops called on you to "restrain" you.

I'm going to ignore the rest of your post for now but from these two examples, I don't think you have a good understanding of how therapy works. I don't know in what country you're receiving therapy but the decision trees that lead to the involvement of the authorities are codified in the ethical standards of the registration board of the country in which the practice is happening. In pretty much every country there needs to be a specific, direct and immediate threat of harm to the person or to someone else. When I say specific, I mean there has to be a specific plan in place, the plan needs to be achievable, there needs to be a clear victim and there has to be a clear intent. Any therapist not following these ethical guidelines are violating the ethical rules that govern the profession and you are within your right to contact the registration board of your state/country.

Before a notification is made, a therapist needs to think long and hard about to what extent a notification will rupture the relationship with the client. The tone of your post (I don't know if this is what you intended) suggests that therapists are eager to make a notification or that they'll do it with little provocation but the reality in most practice is that the therapist has to see a notification as a absolute last resort, in situations of immediate threat. Making a notification puts a lot of strain on the relationship and I assure you, a therapist wants that even less than a client wants it.

Any therapist that would call the authorities because of dreams you have is a bad therapist and is practicing outside of their ethical guidelines. That ignores the fact, though, that dreams are dreams and are only clinically significant if they're causing you some sort of distress or are acting to fulfill specific fantasies you have. Fantasies are also not enough to make a notification, you have to give your therapist a CONCRETE reason to believe that someone is in immediate and absolute threat before a notification can be made.

You would be staggered by the number of secrets a therapist has to keep at all times and the dreams and fantasies that people carry with them all the time.

*edit*

quote:

I often fantasize about one-upping my therapist in his own field.

Why is this?

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slutpixie
Apr 12, 2007
hot like 80s love


Give me Flibbity posted:

Came to the thread expecting weird goon stuff, got the lamest thread ever instead. Thanks alot, Slutpixie.

No problem Give me Fibbity.

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