Psycho Serum posted:

Why? All these modern baubles accomplish is further intereference with the oldest ritual there is, the ancient communion of man and nature. Every phone taken into a toilet is another severed strand in the rope that binds us to the world.

Do not wish to be one of them. They're dead to us now.

Fhqwhgads posted:

Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit, alright?

Centripetal Horse posted:

Funniest transvestite, ever.

duggimon posted:

Is this just a "hurr, I got this reference" post or do you believe being a transvestite is an impediment to telling jokes?

Centripetal Horse posted:

Give me a break. The transvestite angle is a significant portion of his routine, both actual jokes and presentation. You're going to have to derail solo, I won't be responding to any further comments from you about transvestite comedians.

The Modern American posted:

Welp, who has 30 bucks to dump into an internet joke?

Achondroplasia posted:

http://www.ronpaul.com/donate/

Corpus Christi posted:

I definitely agree with that statement. As for what [Jim] Irsay actually thinks, I grant that your guess is at least as good as mine.

SolidPolonium posted:

Here's what I think he thinks:

I posted:

electricsugar posted:

Why is Harry Potter in this picture?

Sushi Hands posted:

He has to get the Necronomicon.

Nucular Carmul posted:

I like how it's THAT that's bothering you, and not the fact that it's blatantly a Harry Dresden quote

Warren Zevon posted:

Pretty sure that was Douglas Adams.

Splizwarf posted:

Well, when you're muling coke in condoms in your belly and your truck gets T-boned outta nowhere, everything goes sideways pretty fast.

M4rg4r1ne posted:

How can you insert them so far that they make it into your belly?

Dr 14 INCH DICK Md posted:

I assumed you'd be swallowing them but I admire your gumption.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Some of us grew up in a household where their father had a habit of making "Dad jokes" and we had to put up with that poo poo for nearly two decades. EVERY. GODDAMN. DAY.

The worst part of it is that I've now started making the occasional "Dad joke" myself. The cycle of humour abuse continues.

RandomFerret posted:

Okay, I went through the archives to double-check. So, you know, god drat you for that.

The gocomics archive only goes back to as far as the time he was half-frog somehow and she was mad at him for being more of a nature lover than she was and then she fell in love with him and she kissed him so he turned back to normal and then got mad at him for not being a frog any more. Then I kept reading and it was so bad I literally killed myself and now I am a ghost but I have all these chains all over me and they're attached to these abstract concepts? Like, this one chain is locked to 'hubris' and this other one is 'missed opportunities.' They aren't representational or anything, it's just the words themselves floating in midair. And there's nothing really attaching them to the chain, the chain just kind of ends where the words start, the whole thing seems really poorly thought-out and I don't really get what the message is supposed to be.

Heres Hank posted:

He's pretty sane but when the first thing you do in 1984 is beat up a homeless dude and steal his pants, you've pretty much written your own ticket.

Moe_Rahn posted:

I like how the thought process of police in 1984 Los Angeles was apparently:

*see man putting on pants in alley*
*draw guns, give chase, call for backup*

The cops pull up to the alleyway, they don't see Reese beat up the homeless guy or whatever he did to get the pants, they only witness him buttoning the pants. Apparently "putting on pants on a Thursday" was a crime back then.

oldpainless posted:

Yeah, Reese was in a tough spot. I guess you could say he was backed into a...



Connor.

Eggplant Wizard posted:

Stop talking about how you handle your balls guys.

Jamesman posted:

Who's the chick with the hammer?

Scarf posted:

Ther

OK Octopus posted:

Eh! Frank posted:

Loafers?

Magic Hate Ball posted:

Quoting about circle of life Dad jokes...

JD Brickmeister posted:

...the crucial difference is that MY "dad jokes" are funny.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Oh god, the Earnest Dadjoker.

Commisserations to your friends and family.

FrancisYorkPatty posted:

It's okay Brickmeister, you and I can tell our jokes to each other and giggle without having to be judged by people who can't appreciate jokes that flop

Frot Lesnar posted:

Would there be any interest in a pyf dad joke thread?

Eggplant Wizard posted:

Please post your dad jokes in the pyf hilarious jokes thread. I love stupid jokes.

JD Brickmeister posted:

That's what she said...

ALEX TRILLTON posted:

colossus. he has the power of being a big metal man.

colossus can beat any super hero. He could go to super-man's girlfriend lois lane and be like "hey baby do you want to get with a real man of steel" and she would say yes and super-men would kill himself

colossus could get scratched by wolverine and wolverine would ruin his dumb baby metal claws on colossus' sculpted physique and then wolverine would be very unhappy and walk away

colossus could get spidered by spiderman but it wouldn't work because he's metal and it would just slip off and spider man would be like darn that didn't work! and go join wolverine and talk about redheads with him

rogue could touch colossus but then she'd be made of metal instead and it takes a really tough guy to take the responsibilities of being made of metal and i don't think she can do it at all

galactus could eat him but he wouldn't be very tasty and ultimately galactus would be disappointed! a moral victory

ZanderZ posted:

Yea, it was a lovely company that re-packaged and sold SalesForce. I actively hate them, what they do and how they treated me like a moron, because I was wise to the fact that they didn't actually do anything. I called them pretending to be a customer and they gave me flat out inaccurate/wrong information about SalesForce. I'm sure they've misled many people in regards to SalesForce related information, which really makes me pissed off.

With all the innovative ideas floating around Boston web start ups and the high competition for VC funding, it drives me completely crazy to know that companies like Round Corner are snatching it up, because "Hey! Just because we're a bunch of useless assholes doesn't mean we don't deserve to make money!"

We've been actively warning our clients and affiliates about their whole scam and why nobody should give them any business. It's to the point that they quite literally aren't welcome in Boston anymore.

I've disagreed with many co-workers, affiliates, clients and representatives before. This is the first professional bridge I've ever burned. I'm just happy I made it count.

\/ This is IF you wash your hands after using the bathroom, which is something I simply don't do unless I get urine or poo poo on them.

Abeya Minora posted:

Huh, that's interesting.

I'm actually really good friends with two Round Corner employees based out of the Bay Area (they're actually goons), and the only thing you did during that interview to embarrass yourself was demonstrate a total lack of understanding regarding what a CRM was. They, a company way outside of "startup" and one of Salesforce's largest partners, told you their business model right away (which is developing Salesforce for non-profits, such as large charities, colleges and public television stations), and you didn't comprehend how to explain very rudimentary implementations of low level installations. Or how databases worked in regards to Force. Or how databases "worked".

You certainly didn't show your balls off, let alone interview well enough to the point of which they would remotely consider giving you an offer. Your earlier posts got screenshot and shared around their entire office, and had a really good laugh at your expense. Is that what you were going for? If so, when you sent the follow up asking for an update in regards to the status of you getting the job you should have brought it up!

So yeah, if you want to boast about how much you hate a company, I recommend having a reason other than being buttfrustrated at how they made fun of how completely unqualified you was during the interview, or at least doing it on a forum where you wouldn't be called out on your pathetic brony bullshit.

Again.

Eggplant Wizard posted:

Dad jokes, not awkward sixteen year old boy jokes.

redmercer posted:

Earlier in the thread, ZanderZ claimed to have shown off his twig and berries at the end of a bad Skype interview:

Eggplant Wizard posted:

Dad jokes, not awkward sixteen year old boy jokes. I'm on my phone so I can't see if you still have your big red title but I see it's still accurate.

Okay back to quotes, fellows. I ought to probate myself for continuing a derail and then saying let's end this derail but oh well.

FullLeatherJacket posted:

gently caress this gay sport and also earth

once upon a time it was good, and fat men drank pints and beat their wives and had moustaches and scored goals. then americans came and it was poo poo and you couldn't pronounce "premier" or "scholes" and you thought wife-beating was passe well gently caress you just gently caress you

football. football has gotten in the bin and the bin is closed and now all that's in the bin is football and idiot race and david pleat, an old man who lives in a bin with idiot race

this season is cancelled. this season is going to be loving burnt and kicked to death and then shipped to america where they can jerk off over its corpse and eat mayo out the jar or some poo poo i don't even care, you're just going to open a book and it's going to say

SEASON 11/12: CANCELLED IN FAVOUR OF RE-RUNS OF A TOUCH OF FROST

they're loving writing chelsea on the trophy now why don't you just draw a cock and balls on it and put it in a skip and put the skip into that giant loving russian sinkhole

that's it. that's what americans have done to football. a trophy with a cock and balls on it in a skip being thrown into a russian sinkhole that probably smells of magma and turds

inspector frost wouldn't loving stand for this. he wouldn't stand for paedophilia, or chelsea, which is worse.

only joey barton can save us

AutoArgus posted:

I've heard that those are a thing in Russia for weddings apparently. Usually they take the angle shots then photoshop the everliving hell out of them into things like this:



Or this work of.. uh. Art. Art to remember your wedding by..

SiKboy posted:

"We can offer you copies of your wedding photos in 6" × 8",8" × 12" or, and this is the option I would recommend, we could airbrush it straight onto the side of a van."

Baboon Fiesta posted:

Champion's League Final thread:

MissileWaster posted:

What the gently caress did Americans even have to do with that game

Is it just a natural reaction for people in Europe when something they don't like happens? When they run out of shampoo in the middle of a shower do they instantly start blaming this tragedy on Americans?

MissileWaster posted:

What the gently caress did Americans even have to do with that game

Is it just a natural reaction for people in Europe when something they don't like happens? When they run out of shampoo in the middle of a shower do they instantly start blaming this tragedy on Americans?

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Based on my very limited exposure to people living in Europe, yes. You can usually pick out the ones who are doing it sarcastically, though.

boo_radley posted:

DrinkMoreBeer posted:

How can it be Santas flesh if Santa isn't real??

Kavingi posted:

DrinkMoreBeer posted:

How can it be Santas flesh if Santa isn't real??

I get all my news from PYF.

Tuco posted:

Very late to this conversation, just got finished with the episode where Abed's brain snaps and he and Annie get stuck in the dreamatorium and for the upmteenith millionth time we get an after school special where Abed deals with his nerdiness. That for me was it. I don't care what happens to this show other than a quick painless death to this series.

The difference between that episode and anyone from the first season is miles away.

You simply cannot prolong a show based merely on pop culture and sci-fi references.

tinstaach posted:

Tuco posted:

You simply cannot prolong a show based merely on pop culture and sci-fi references.

Miss Ginger posted:

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

So definitely no more jizz jars [in the Aggie Corps of Cadets], then? Or do they mix the jizz with girl-cadet squirt nowadays?

A friend of mine definitely asked me for period blood for his grode jar. I'm truly sorry for the poor sucker who got that poo poo in his room.

SirDan3k posted:

Somewhere a marketing exec is sobbing into his hands "Bu-bu-bu-but brand recognition"

And that makes me smile.

Lowtax posted:

Not to once again detract from the awesomeness of Choochacacko actually coding and rolling out a huge new forum patch in one week, but I'd like to formally apologize to everybody about the whole radium deal and explain. WARNING: LONG TEXT AHEAD.

I take full responsibility for hiring and continuing to employ radium, even long after he made it clear that he stopped giving a poo poo about everything. Since I had known and been friends with the guy for over a decade, I idiotically kept giving him the benefit of the doubt time after time again, because it's hard for me to accept the fact that people I consider friends can morph into utterly insane and irrational jerks.

Early on, when he first came on board, things were good. He would actually, you know, DO THINGS. He added a lot of features to the forums, built a CMS for the front page, and handled tech support. So he showed the capability, and I guess that's what always stuck in my mind when I was debating firing him.

Unfortunately, as you all might have noticed, he gradually transformed into an apathetic and outright hostile rear end in a top hat over the years. Here's a little "behind the scenes" story to illustrate this for you: about a year ago, he decided to stop using any IM client, so he could just "concentrate on working." I asked him how I was supposed to contact him, and he said email. Then he stopped replying to emails, and said I should text him on his cell. Then he stopped replying to cell texts, and said I should just call him. Then he stopped answering his phone. Here was a guy I was paying full time to run the backend of SA, and there was literally absolutely no way for me to contact him.

Additionally, he refused to ever tell me what he was supposedly "working" on, or give any dates as to when anything would be completed. When I asked him to simply drop me a line once a week and let me know what features he was working on for SA, he would get irate and insist I was being unreasonable and wasting his time (by wanting to know what he was actually doing all day). Call me crazy, but I don't think it's that unreasonable for an employer to know what their coder is doing and when it will be done.

Anyway, he continued to mentally break down and grow increasingly irrational and hostile particularly over the past year (in addition to the previous past years). He clearly stopped giving a poo poo about actually doing anything, and would actively avoid communicating with me in any way, and he never finished any projects. Unfortunately, he was the only guy who knew how SA's backend was all set up, and he had all the logins and passwords to everything, and I was simply nervous about starting all over with a new coder.

It eventually reached a breaking point, and we parted ways a couple months ago. Fortunately I had met Choochacacko, who had time and time again demonstrated he was the anti-radium. He enjoyed helping people. He had the ability to communicate with other human beings. He was organized, could tell me what he was doing and when it would be done. He was dedicated and an incredibly nice guy. So when it became time to replace radium, I was more than confident Choochacacko could fill his shoes.

In summary, I apologize and take full responsibility for radium's previous actions (or lack thereof), since it was ultimately my choice to employ him and display a really misplaced sense of loyalty to him for so long. It was my mistake, and I paid the price for it. But that's all over now, and hopefully we're on the right path again. I can't say enough good things about Choochacacko, so hopefully he'll help us all get over the haunting memories of radium's mental degradation and spiral into insanity.