SpazmasterX posted:

I have a cell phone. Why the hell would I need a watch to begin with?

FrancisYorkPatty posted:

I wish punposters would have to post puns in every post they make like that seattle seahawks mod challenge

Frot Lesnar posted:

Abraham Washington isn't burning bridges; he's burning rivers.

Paper Tiger posted:

I'm going to clock the next person that chimes in with a pun. Just you watch.

(For those not familiar with English, to 'clock' means to 'strike someone in the face with your hand').

FrancisYorkPatty posted:

I wish punposters would have to post puns in every post they make like that seattle seahawks mod challenge

Kaboom Dragoon posted:

Imagine four punsters on the edge of a permaban...

Toussaint Louverture posted:

I just assume Belkar is one of those guys who just always rolls well. Every group has one. The one in my college group was named Clayton and was also a tall, handsome and successful composer.





gently caress him.

Edit: Just checked facebook, he's now gotten pudgy and is working as a dog groomer. I feel better now.

serakyu posted:

Does anybody have the quote that starts with something like "Russia: gave space first kiss, asked space to prom night" and ends with "America: nailed space in the back of a corvette on prom night?" I tried looking through the past few pages and using search but I guess I'm not remembering the quote accurately enough to find it.

Paper Tiger posted:

I'm going to clock the next person that chimes in with a pun. Just you watch.

(For those not familiar with English, to 'clock' means to 'strike someone in the face with your hand').

Mistayke posted:

My girlfriend keeps threatening to leave me if I don't stop answering the phone with this. But I won't, I have conviction, drat it.

(As a context, we threaten to leave each other over every minor thing.)

Talby posted:

You answer the phone threatening to clock her if she makes another watch pun? That's an oddly specific way to answer the phone.

Vagabundo posted:

Mister Chief posted:

I just realised he's beginning to look a lot like Tintin.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Mistayke posted:

My girlfriend keeps threatening to leave me if I don't stop answering the phone with this. But I won't, I have conviction, drat it.

(As a context, we threaten to leave each other over every minor thing.)

D is That Guy posted:

It's understandable. Regional dialects and such. One mispronounced yip, and you've suddenly gone from commenting on the fact that there is a large letter B off to your left to committing your tribe to holy war against the southland yip tribes.

Crane Fist posted:

I thought it was still at the god gently caress off gently caress off stop posting forever stage.

Pissflaps posted:

brian may is turning into james may

mandrake776 posted:

Xachariah posted:

How are you supposed to pull your shoes up over your underwear?

SkunkDuster posted:

Bootstraps, son!

Rhyno posted:

Officer Sandvich" post="406441386 posted:

How does one learn to drive a car with a manual transmission? All the kids in my family learned on manual cars but of the last two my family owned one was totaled by a drunk guy in front of our house one night and my parents sold the other to my older sister, leaving my only experience behind the wheel in an automatic. Is this something some driving schools offer or do I have to find a friend with a manual and pester them to let me rough up their clutch?

First you have to find someone who drives a stick. Come at them from behind and hit them with a baseball bat. Once they are down you need to slice open their head and dig out their brain stem. Take it home and chop it up as finely as you can, use a blender if you own one. Add some rubber cement to the mix until you have a nice tacky paste. Smear this all over yourself and allow it to dry. Take three cold showers with the plug in the drain then take approximately four gallons of the runoff down to your kitchen. Boil off the excess until you have a nice soup, you can add bullion cubes for color and flavor. Eat every last scrap of it. Get 8 hours of sleep and when you wake up you will be able to drive a mantran vehicle.

Chexoid posted:

What red-blooded man hasn't done the "I gotta cum" dance while waiting in line for the rest-room.

Seoinin posted:

You know Islamic calligraphy art? Where someone will take a hadith and write it out so it looks like a dove in flight or a flower? I'm just asking because reading your post suddenly put me in mind of a dog turd composed from the words "I have no idea what I'm talking about."

Lucy Heartfilia posted:

If you want change, vote Romney/Ryan! It's the rational and more compassionate choice. You don't let a wounded horse suffer unnecessarily, you put it down.

Vaerai Archon posted:

I went there for the exact same reasons you want to. It was awful, the first thing that hits you is the constant smell throughout the whole day. If it's not body odor, it's smoke from weed/tobacco, if it's not that it's the burning garbage, if it's not that it's feces or urine, if it's not that it's a mix of most or all of the above.

I'm really not one for loud noises but even still you can't even hear the music over all the people screaming. They also slam into you and fights break out durring the preformances. The last thing you want is some rusty shiv or beer bottle hitting you because chances are that thing has beeen on the ground(which in itself has a thick layer of filth from people) and it would probably develop into a technicolor infection worthy of amputating the afflicted body part.

The food is awful. It's not even well done fried food or anything like that, it's worse than prison food, it's worse than school food. I couldn't even finish a corn dog I tried to eat. It literally made me gag(and this was the only time food has ever made me gag) it tasted so disgusting and it was also cold. So I threw it out and then I witnessed some woman walk over to the garbage can and fish out the corn dog I just threw out and she continued to eat it. She didn't even brush that thing off, she just chowed down on it. It then fell off the stick and onto the muddy ground, she then picked up the remainders and just shoved it all into her mouth mud and all.

Other than the displays of public intoxication there's also an incredible ammount of theives, whores, and human traffickers who probably make a killing going to these events. It also says something about how lax the standards are when someone openly walks up to you out of the blue and asks if you want to bang some girls from South America he has locked up in his van. And if you refuse they try to "bump" into you to try and take your wallet.

I would compare it to an aftermath of a warzone. You leave there broken, emotionally scarred, and see nothing but desolation to the horizen. You just don't even care anymore that there's a 300lb naked man taking a dump on someones car and smearing it on it as you walk through the parkinglot. Yes you can see the joy on his bulbous poo poo and sweat stained face, a joy that no man should feel over something like that. Yet he does, such unbridled jubilation and bliss. You then sit and ponder to yourself in your car, "is there a weapon on this earth that would purge these individuals from the earth in a manner that would feel as if justice would be served?". The answer is no, a nuclear warhead would be too quick, napalm or daisy cutters would be found too alluring to the juggalos and they would try to jump in and out of the flames as they frolic amongst the burning bodies.

In the end you just drive off, sobbing for yourself and humanity. You then stop 15 miles down the road and then it hits you, it's over....you're free.

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

When you think about it, being able to leave a pony masturbator with a $100k anime collection scarred and broken is quite an achievement.

CuddleChunks posted:

I would guess based on the documentaries and the folks I've known how are into ICP and the Juggalo lifestyle that they come from a mix of lax to utterly broken homes. Parents who barely give a poo poo so the kids run the house all the way to physical and emotional abusers where the kids are lucky to escape.

They get into a scene where there is a constant chant of "Family" and "Juggalo pride". They can easily ID other folks into this poo poo because of the clown logos and merchandise. You know that if you're wearing your hatchetman hat and you woop woop another guy or gal with a hatchetman pendant that you're gonna get some love back. Hell, you instantly have something to talk about and there's a social pressure to hang out and promote that family vibe.

gently caress tha parents, gently caress tha police. You gots your homies that have your back no matter what and sure, some of them kinda stink but you tell them to take a shower and wash their stinky asses and you all laugh and throw some bottles at each other and ha ha ha, it's no biggie because we're high as gently caress and listening to the tunes that tell a story of hosed up kids getting revenge on all the assholes who have made their lives lovely. Weed and loving and smokes and more weed and loud beats. These guys KNOW what you've been through, it's like a revelation so let's buy their albums and their clothing and all the ICP poo poo because fuckit, long-term planning isn't a life skill you were taught by your parents, immediate gratification is what you've learned as a habit.

All this builds up over years. You have a group of friends that are kind of lovely but they support you and your lifestyle. You have all the elements for a high rate of unplanned pregnancies. Now you done got knocked up and it's time for another Gathering. What do you? You take your kids because you sure as hell aren't going to miss a Gathering with all your family. You also are probably in a reasonably safe environment for little kids as far as the people go - big sweaty, greasy, clown-looking motherfuckers are often pretty protective of kids and holy poo poo the little clown dude's got some makeup on woop woop! Juggalo baby 4 lyfe!

There you go - a plausible set of circumstances and reasoning for why you'd see kids (especially young ones) at a Gathering. Given my own personal run-ins with these people I'd trust them around kids way more so than teens. I imagine dumb accidents are going to be the major threat and the gross conditions. On the other hand, I bet any kid that goes through a Gathering will have a supercharged immune system.

Very Strange Things posted:

Imagine, if you will, a mash-up of Wagner and Rimsky-Korsakov,

Exclamation Marx posted:

I thought that was you

Gay Crib Baby Dino posted:

Beavis of Nazareth, my bodies serotonin production is going into overdrive just thinking about how funny that username is. My cognitive behavioural therapist is gonna have a loving riot when i tell her about it. Not a pussy Riot tho lol, that poo poo is illegal in communist russia riot pussies you

Aericura posted:

"Sniper! Get down!"

ElwoodCuse posted:

It's a new Foo Fighters song that's lame and sucks but is one the radio a lot. You might know it as "one of these days" or "EASY FOR YOU TO SAAAAAAY"

elf help book posted:

What's the radio?

SatansBestBuddy posted:

An alternate setting for your alarm clock buzzer.

elf help book posted:

Oh, the iPod dock!

Jedit posted:

Gaelic spelling. I have to deal with Gaelic placenames on a daily basis at work, and talking to people on the phone is a nightmare because nothing seems to sound the way it's written. Half of the language can be pronounced three different ways depending on context, and it's got more silent letters than Helen Keller's podcast.

The Macaroni posted:

Family member: mother-in-law
Problem: Slots, slots, and more slots, with a hint of lottery tickets thrown in

She just blew another 800 bucks at the casino last night and I had to bail her out (again) before her bank started the overdraft thing. Last straw for me: I'm going to make her sign a loan repayment contract that has her attending Gambler's Anonymous meetings as part of the deal.

Well, what happens now? Also, gently caress this poo poo.

Cricken_Nigfops posted:

Comedy option: Bet her that she can't beat her addiction.

Lando2 posted:

This poo poo is lame. Poutine is French Canadian which makes it Canadian. And the Olympics are outdated and boring.

redmercer posted:

Thanks for preceding your post with a warning

Kanthulhu posted:

I agree with Piety and destroying England.

NO LISTEN TO ME posted:

Macro/Meme thread

Yes, that is the point I was making, good job. It had nothing to do with the sequestering of dissent and the vilification of positive tension.

I have some tips for how to make this game more like the lives of actual sex workers, I hope these are helpful:

- Sex workers are nearly 30 times more likely to have been raped as a child than the general population. Could you include this as an intro, maybe? I think it would help with immersion.
- Sex workers are often deemed by the police and wider society to be "unrapeable", when in fact they suffer from far higher rates of sexual abuse than the wider population. Maybe a mini-game where you are raped and then sexually abused by the police officer you seek help from?
- Many johns will use the economic weakness of the sex worker to bribe them into having unprotected sex, seriously risking their health. Perhaps a quick time event where you have to put the condom on to the john, and if you fail you get an infection?

Keep up the good work.

StevenM posted:

How about a videogame where you make a hamfisted parallel to a completely different social divide through effortless quoting and then whine about how people didn't get the meaning that you completely failed to convey in your post

You could have a button-mashing segment that symbolises you throwing a passive-aggressive tantrum because people can't magically read your mind or your lovely posts

Aphrodite posted:

It's called Braid.

Liesmith posted:

People who agree all the time arent hiveminds, they are just well adjusted people who recognize facts. You are the hivemind, by which i mean you are a worthless drone unfit to do anything but unload your scent glands all over potential sources of food

Ambiguatron posted:

"I may be a transrobot, but I love having sex with animals" is actually an alchemical formula to murder the world.

red19fire posted:

I didn't even catch that. I thought it was demanding a trigger warning for spoiling the Olympics.

Tarranon posted:

Oh, PYF. This isn't my F thing. This isn't my F thing at all.

wa27 posted:

I know some other posters already replied to this, but here's another way to look at it: The US has ~3,000 times the population of Grenada, so they would have to win 3,000 gold medals for every one won by Grenada just to be "equal". China would have to win ~13,000 gold medals.

sportsgenius86 posted:

so how do you account for the Grenada resident using American coaches and facilities to hone his craft?

Dusseldorf posted:

Not to mention the US Marines to insure his freedom