Panic! at the Fist Jab posted:

this same scarlett johansson?

Honeydew posted:

urgh that floor is gross

mons all madden posted:

even on the internet you look at the floor when you see a girl

homerlaw posted:

Here is by far one of the worst posts of all time

It was ferretbomb who said this. He is gone now, never to return

Ferretball posted:

Alexandr posted:

Do you happen to know what religion this woman was, Ferretball?

There was more than a one in two chance she was a Christian, a one in five chance she was a practitioner of an indigineous African religion, and a one in six chance she was a Muslim. I did not know what her religion was.

She did not have that smell that Muslim women give when aroused, so I'm guessing she was most likely Christian.

The other girl I hosed definitely had that "aroused Muslim woman" smell, so yes I did gently caress a Muslim girl there but she was not fat.

DNova posted:

It's time to kick rear end and lick my nuts, and I'm neutered.

Breetai posted:

Is that second image a 'shop? If not it's just downright disgusting. What thread's that from?

Schnozzberry posted:

Dexter Stratton posted:

That's not why I edited; the zipline's up and running and all is well. I edited things because someone decided it would be funny to call the police and say my camp had a "child killing machine." The police showed up looking befuddled, took a look around and muttered something about kids with aspergers wasting their time.

Power of Pecota posted:

and then everybody in the theater stood up and clapped

Seamonster posted:

had to be done

Enderzero posted:

I loving hate you seamonster. maybe this won't carry any weight, as it's just another anonymous poster on the internet, but i really, really loving hate you. you are worthless, as is anyone who says "had to be done" because it allows an enormous pussy like yourself to cloak yourself in the legitimacy of the group, implying "it's ok if i do this because someone else would have if i didn't." Except it's not ok and you don't even have the balls to just do it straight up - no, a mush mouthed enjoyable human being like yourself requires some kind of backup rationalization, in the same way a rapist spots a girl passed out in a dim room at a party and thinks "if i don't do it someone else will; has to be done" as they pull down their pants and smirk.


you are a rapist, and not even the mythical overpowering stranger rapist who at least has some agency and makes a decision; no, you're the piddly, little, thin-mustached rapist who justifies his loathsome behavior with a strained appeal to the group - "had to be done"

gently caress you. i want those words to sit inside your stomach, twisting like the knife i want so badly to end you with. i hope you don't let your eyes slide past this because, unlike so many insults forgotten as soon as they are written, it is rooted in deep, abiding hatred. i will not forget you, you squirmy poo poo, i honestly loving hate you

mikerock posted:

The Firing Range > Hello New Zealand are you enjoying your 7.62x39 tracer?
You can thank NRCAN and Lever Arms for that.

Earlier this year we shipped out to you crazy Kiwis a sea container full of Czech 7.62x39 tracer rounds that had been deemed not authorised for sale to the public in Canada. I hope you're enjoying your boon and our loss. I would be interested in hearing what you paid for it. I personally have touched every god damned crate of what you received.

Smiling Jack posted:

Meanwhile, in New Zealand...

tef posted:

*fires portal below your post*


*fires other end into gbs*

The Reaganomicon posted:

*post speeds up to terminal velocity*

rotor posted:

if you love something set it free

if it returns to you, it's yours

if it doesn't, it never was

rotor posted:

if sony was guilty of anything, it was loving too much

johndis posted:

and storing the love letters in plaintext

Shaggar posted:

CIA forces use the power of forums search to locate, kill osama.

Kirk posted:

is that why

it took

ten years

Gtab posted:

Alain Perdrix posted:

There's just something about cataract glasses and lipstick that gets me rock-hard. Pre-ordered.

Gtab posted:

...go on...

Alain Perdrix posted:

Well, I've had this fantasy for a long time... I guess I'll share it here now that the cat is out of the bag, so to speak:

I'm in an old, half-timbered house in the English countryside. It has been raining for hours, and as I sit, waiting for I know not what, the rain becomes a thunderous deluge. Lightning rends the sky.

The house is imposing itself on my very psyche, and as I sit in the slate-grey gloaming, I imagine that I hear noises in one of the walls. I tell myself that it is just the wind, or perhaps a rat, but I grow ever more nervous. My hearing seems more acute; every muscle in my body is taut with anticipation, like the ropes in the rigging of a Man-o-War, sleek and terrible as it cuts the waves in the vast emptiness of a moonless night. I rise from the chesterfield and make my way into the darkness in the bowels of the unlit house, even as my mind screams at me to quit the place entirely.

I step into a room that is oppressive to the point that I can only imagine myself crushed beneath the weight of its atmospheres, like a corpse succumbing to the pressures of the deep. The sound is here again. It is almost like laughter, almost like the sound of an absent-minded girl dragging a tree branch along the spikes of a wrought-iron fence, producing sonorous tones as the delicate, arboreal fingers caress the metal. Each step a song unto itself; each step bringing a smile to her face.

The sound is coming from the wall. I feel every inch a fool, for only now do I recall the priest hole. This had been a Catholic home at the height of the persecution. The sound is coming from the priest hole.

Everything tells me not to open it. The memories come flooding back. I've been here before. I have done this before. I have promised myself, and my God, never to return here, and yet I stand before the priest hole. I reach into the darkness, feeling for the gap in the wainscoting. It is as I remember. I pull it open.

He is there, and light floods from behind him. He is wearing them, wearing the cataract glasses I bought him so long ago. It feels like eons, like he and I are the product of an age to which no living thing that is yet remembered by modern man belongs. He sneers cruelly, but in an act of near-supplication, he produces from his pocket a pink lipstick. He applies it gingerly to his mouth, pressing his lips together to distribute it evenly along their length.

I'm melting. He undoes my belt buckle, and my pants fall to floor around me. I stand naked before him.

"Shake it, baby," he commands.

Tears roll down my face. I comply, my penis slamming against the side of the priest hole. I gasp each time. We continue like this until I ejaculate. As soon as it happens, the light is snuffed out. He is gone. I drop to my knees, sobbing, in a room as cold and barren as my soul.

Abandon posted:

make like a tree and be powerless to defend yourself as teens carve their names into your flesh as they discover love for the first time. then later, get chopped down to make way for a bypass, taking the symbol of their love crashing to the ground unseen, observing that so too is the way of love; to be destroyed by the ignorant

Abandon posted:

what the gently caress does "make like a tree and leave" even mean anyway

Ola posted:

In the safest, most boring country, the worst lone gunman shooting happens. The worst in the world, in history. But it will not make our country worse. The safe, boring democracy will supply him with a defense lawyer as is his right. He will not get more than 21 years in prison as is the maximum extent of the law. Our democracy does not allow for enough punishment to satisfy my need for revenge, as is its intention. We will not become worse, we will be better. We lived in a land where this is possible, even easy. And we will keep living in a land where this is possible, even easy. We are open, we are free and we are together. We are vulnerable by choice. And we will keep on like that, that's how we want to live. We will not be worse because of the worst. We must be good because of the best.

nordavind posted:

This is Norway. We won't reinstate the death penalty. He won't get thrown in a solitary cell for the rest of his life. He won't be "accidentally killed" by some inmate in prison. He won't be secretly beaten by the wardens. He'll get a psychiatric evaluation, if deemed mentally ill he will get treatment. If not he will get 21 years in prison, or longer if he still seems like a threat to society. He'll live in prison with a TV, computer and luxuries many others can't afford in other countries. If he does get released sometime in the future, he will get police protection.

Eldjarn posted:

And yes, this is how it should be.

duTrieux posted:

Dixie Cretin Seaman posted:

*forces steam-powered dildo into orifice*
"this, my dear, is a zybourne cock"

OldTennisCourt posted:

Troll!' said I, `poster of poo poo - morality police, if goon or devil!
By that admin that bends above us - by those subreddits we adore -
Tell this poster with orange fingers, Dew stained shirt, ragged and torn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden, a underage maiden with green hair and kawaii form
Clasp a rare and radiant love pillow, with open arms and petite form
Quoth the goon, `Child porn.'

`See the rage comic I am tracing!!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into your foul paid forum, moderated and scorned!
Leave none of my manga's spines broken as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the wall scroll above my door!
Take thy posts from off my forum, and leave my karma intact and unshorn!'
Quoth the goon 'Child porn.'

And the goon, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the bust of Aerith just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my karma lies fleeting, my computer chair's seating, lies broken on the floor
And the subreddits are closed forever due to...child porn!

Abeya Minora posted:

ABENOTE: New Rules For This Terrible Thread!

Anyone that posts anything beyond this post that isn't a quote from Zombo.com gets banned.

Cobweb Heart posted:

code:

WELC  O   M   E T  O  Z      O   M   BOC   O   M!        THI   S IS  
Z     O   M  B     O C        O M   .   W  E   L        C   O  M   E. 
THI   S   I  S     ZO          M    B   O  C   O        M   ;  WELC  
O     M   E  T     O Z         O    M   B  O   C        O   M  !     
Y      OU     CAN  D  O        A     NYT    HIN   ,,     GAT   Z     omboCom.
                                                  ,

Jonny 290 posted:

i'll climb ten towers before i dive

gently caress up on a tower and you die in 1.2 seconds
gently caress up underwater and it could take a minute

rotor posted:

and i would walk five hundred miles

Detroit Q. Spider posted:

and i would walk five hundred more

Jonny 290 posted:

and i would something something something


just to bring that printer to your door