dinozombiesgoRARR posted:

drat, this thread just won't die. It's only get about one lame post a week so the ratio of energy put into posting versus frequency of posts is fairly low but remarkably constant. I call it the Plank Constant.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Nevets posted:

They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark on everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger, and it was over.

Ambiguatron posted:

It's not a movie moment, but it's close, and it's related. I know it's a silly joke, but I was irritated as hell when Fry decided to leave his mermaid girlfriend in that one episode of Futurama. I mean, sure, she has no vagina, but she's still a hot girl from the waist up.

Oh god, what the gently caress is wrong with me?

Whatev posted:

You get mad when cartoon man won't gently caress fish lady.

Whatev posted:

I don't remember the medical term for that.

gnarlyhotep posted:

Wandering Knitter posted:

I had a friend that looked just like her in High School and she had a pet rat too. That motherfucker would pee on everything.

Goth girls are like that.

a dog posted:

poo poo! poo poo! I was working on it and it just- slipped away. Anyone seen it?








Oh god!








Someone catch it!!


















gently caress!!! It's getting away!

white quilt posted:

Rorschach is a misunderstood, socially awkward vigilante who wears a trenchcoat and a fedora, speaks in clipped monosyllabic sentences, holds unwaveringly to a black and white, ultraconservative moral code and dispenses brutal, horrifying violence to all the bad people. And you wonder why autistic turbonerds can't keep their fingers off their cocks whenever he comes up.

JamesieAB posted:

Ularg posted:

"This fall on CBS - My three gay Dads"

Fnoigy posted:

There's something to be said for dying without ever knowing what hit you. When I go, I just want to be going along, minding my own, then suddenly open my eyes and I'm at the entrance to the Divine Treasury.

crazylakerfan posted:

theflyingorc posted:

Urgh this one's irritating all but the first one would probably have still happened even if we had Bush and he was pretty awful. Including the donuts.

crazylakerfan posted:

Just laugh at the donuts line and his face

Category Fun! posted:

b0nes posted:

YJT posted:

Urgh this one's irritating all but the first one would probably have still happened even if we had Bush and he was pretty awful. Including the donuts.

Fhqwhgads posted:

Just laugh at the donuts line and his face

Saul Goode posted:

poptart_fairy posted:

What the hell. Didn't this series of posts happen elsewhere?

The Matrix is glitching.

dinozombiesgoRARR posted:

I'm only good at making one thing so this year everyone in my family, the postman and the office Kris Kringle are getting Hulk Hogan Meat Shoes for Christmas.

TetsuoTW posted:

I have never understood why some people sign their posts. I mean, I guess some parallel with writing a letter, but still....

PiratePing posted:

Ambiguatron posted:

He learns that friendship is magic.

Midnight Moth posted:

Nenonen posted:

Ahem. The rumour is not just that the statue has been switched, but that it was Shady Shrew who did it. Even if the statue turned out to be a forgery, that would not prove the original rumour.

Is it even likely that a small shrew could switch a huge and heavy gold statue into an equally huge and almost as heavy iron statue without anyone noticing?

Bob Weber Jr posted:

Yes.

axolotl farmer posted:

Fred Basset 1963-2012



So long Fred, you had a good run!

Hydrolith posted:

Seriously? Why bother to quote something from the goldmine?

Lowtax posted:

Not to once again detract from the awesomeness of Choochacacko actually coding and rolling out a huge new forum patch in one week, but I'd like to formally apologize to everybody about the whole radium deal and explain. WARNING: LONG TEXT AHEAD.

I take full responsibility for hiring and continuing to employ radium, even long after he made it clear that he stopped giving a poo poo about everything. Since I had known and been friends with the guy for over a decade, I idiotically kept giving him the benefit of the doubt time after time again, because it's hard for me to accept the fact that people I consider friends can morph into utterly insane and irrational jerks.

Early on, when he first came on board, things were good. He would actually, you know, DO THINGS. He added a lot of features to the forums, built a CMS for the front page, and handled tech support. So he showed the capability, and I guess that's what always stuck in my mind when I was debating firing him.

Unfortunately, as you all might have noticed, he gradually transformed into an apathetic and outright hostile rear end in a top hat over the years. Here's a little "behind the scenes" story to illustrate this for you: about a year ago, he decided to stop using any IM client, so he could just "concentrate on working." I asked him how I was supposed to contact him, and he said email. Then he stopped replying to emails, and said I should text him on his cell. Then he stopped replying to cell texts, and said I should just call him. Then he stopped answering his phone. Here was a guy I was paying full time to run the backend of SA, and there was literally absolutely no way for me to contact him.

Additionally, he refused to ever tell me what he was supposedly "working" on, or give any dates as to when anything would be completed. When I asked him to simply drop me a line once a week and let me know what features he was working on for SA, he would get irate and insist I was being unreasonable and wasting his time (by wanting to know what he was actually doing all day). Call me crazy, but I don't think it's that unreasonable for an employer to know what their coder is doing and when it will be done.

Anyway, he continued to mentally break down and grow increasingly irrational and hostile particularly over the past year (in addition to the previous past years). He clearly stopped giving a poo poo about actually doing anything, and would actively avoid communicating with me in any way, and he never finished any projects. Unfortunately, he was the only guy who knew how SA's backend was all set up, and he had all the logins and passwords to everything, and I was simply nervous about starting all over with a new coder.

It eventually reached a breaking point, and we parted ways a couple months ago. Fortunately I had met Choochacacko, who had time and time again demonstrated he was the anti-radium. He enjoyed helping people. He had the ability to communicate with other human beings. He was organized, could tell me what he was doing and when it would be done. He was dedicated and an incredibly nice guy. So when it became time to replace radium, I was more than confident Choochacacko could fill his shoes.

In summary, I apologize and take full responsibility for radium's previous actions (or lack thereof), since it was ultimately my choice to employ him and display a really misplaced sense of loyalty to him for so long. It was my mistake, and I paid the price for it. But that's all over now, and hopefully we're on the right path again. I can't say enough good things about Choochacacko, so hopefully he'll help us all get over the haunting memories of radium's mental degradation and spiral into insanity.

Jon Irenicus posted:

Does anyone actually have a link to that thread? I've been combing through the archives but I cant find it.

Eggplant Wizard posted:

It was addressed to Mr. Plant so I believe he thought I was one of tha bros who'd understand about bitches.

prefect posted:

But your last name is Wizard.

KozmoNaut posted:

Chris Knight delivers a whopper during a grammar derail in Cycle Asylum's overheard stupid motorcycle related poo poo thread:

That DICK! posted:

is this just an idiom or do goons seriously just lose all muscle control and shoot liquids onto their keyboards at the slightest little larf? it's not the monitor or the tower or the mouse, either, it's always the goddamn keyboard. This is some as-of-yet unstudied medical phenomenon.

Smelly posted:

Edit:Was it called Pain4?

Sandweed posted:

I guess they are just mad that hot nerd girls still won't have sex with them. Just because a girl likes nerdy things she's not necessarily into nerds.

CrowsNestMutineer posted:

Well, no; if a woman who's a nerd is interested in having sex with a man, she's probably looking for a man who's also a nerd, just because people like other people who share common interests. The problem is, to put it in terms these guys will understand, that she's looking for someone with a higher CHA stat and without the "misogyny" flaw.

Broken Bio Qlock posted:

Those girls aren't hostesses, Japanese girls just love to hang around white guys. Any goon could have pulled that off.

Orange_Lazarus posted:

Now I feel bad for Bobby Hill Turns out she would have DanceA'd with any dang ol white boy.

XyloJW posted:

Just a quick Question About the Forums, but why does Obama post on Reddit but not on Something Awful?

dick cheese posted:

He has opinions on mens rights but not on Let's Plays

Flaky posted:

Terboh posted:

Liu Kang's bicycle of choice.

Aardmania posted:

I agree with Ed. Who is the dumbass that took the time to put an empty plate back in the fridge?

Nenonen posted:

You don't have any kids, do you?

Bob Weber Jr posted:

I find empty ice cube trays in the freezer!

Nenonen posted:

˙uooɔɔɐɹ ɐ sɐʍ ʇı :uoıʇnןos

Gorilla Salad posted:

Tears In A Vial posted:

I'm colour-blind, I can't read it.

Edit: Brought it into photoshop and jacked up the contrast: y'all a bunch of dicks.

prefect posted:

I apologize for quoting something I was involved in, but Experto Crede knocked this one out of the park. (Do they "knock things out of the park" in cricket?)

Cricken_Nigfops posted:

Speedbump

RandomFerret posted:

See, this is a really weird strip.

It requires the reader to know one fact about dolphins (blowhole = nose) and nothing further. You can't know why the blowhole is where it is or what its function is or else the joke doesn't work.

The only other scenario where you can get this joke is if you know only one fact about nasal strips and nothing further. If you know that nasal strips improve athletic performance but not why they do or how they work, you can get the joke from a different angle than the person who knows one fact about dolphins.

To really get a big kick out of it, though, you'll have to be in both camps. then the joke becomes "Hey that's one of those magic nose things, except the dolphin doesn't have a nose he has a blowhole instead, so he puts it on his blowhole!"

That is the best possible scenario for this lovely joke. A thing being somewhere it normally isn't.

Trustfund. posted:

CrowsNestMutineer posted:

Dear teddy bears who call women "sluts" and "whores": You're not a straight-talking badass; you're a stupid, misogynist plush toy who found a suit.

Bitchtits McGee posted:

Dear dumb bastard arguing with a picture of a teddy bear: you're arguing with a picture of a teddy bear, you dumb bastard.

Midnight Moth posted:

Slylock Fox (June 5, 1988)

Zonko_T.M. posted:

Slylock believes Tiffany because he's the one who accused her. He'll watch apathetically as she goes to jail, based entirely on his word, an accusation he made as much out of boredom as out of spite the way she was looking at that raccoon in the restaurant last night. When she gets out of jail the next day, he'll pick her up and make some half-baked excuses for not intervening as she was handcuffed and dragged away, and she'll say it's alright and keep seeing him, because what else is there? Until one day Slylock says something a little too nasty about one of her raccoon friends and everything comes boiling up to the surface, all the times she's had to send her friends home because he couldn't stop from accusing someone at the party of committing a crime, all the times she's seen him with Cassandra Cat, her suspicions about all the time he spends stalking Weirdly, the sick way he spends every waking moment with that drat mouse, all of it coming out at once. How does Slylock calm Tiffany down?

˙pɐɯ ɯıɥ sǝʌıɹp ʎןʍoןs ɥɔıɥʍ 'ǝɔuǝıɔsuoɔ ʎʇןınb uʍo sıɥ ǝdɐɔsǝ ɹǝʌǝu uɐɔ ǝɥ 'ǝɔıןod ǝɥʇ ןooɟ uɐɔ ʞɔoןʎןs ɥbnoɥʇ ʇnq "¡ʎɐʍ ʇɐɥʇ ob ɯıɥ ʍɐs ı ¡ɥʇɐǝp oʇ ɹǝɥ pǝןbuɐɹʇs puɐ ǝɹǝɥʍou ɟo ʇno ǝɯɐɔ ʍǝɹɥs ʎpɐɥs 'ɹǝɔıɟɟo 'ʎןʇsǝuoɥ"

Choochacacko posted:

The first program I ever wrote was in BASIC when I was 12. My cousin and I were trying to make a text based game that had an inventory system and allowed you to save your game. We were too stupid to get any of that accomplished through trial and error. But we did manage to get it to store simple game states with a billion variables. You always died in the game with the reason being "you're a fag" or "you suck" or "you suck fag"

My first GUI program was written with VB4. It was comprised of a 2 frame animation of a stick figure jerking off and a slider that allowed you to adjust the speed of the animation.

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

Man, what is it with comics lately having a punchline of "Guess what, kids? Santa isn't real!! " Like, have they forgotten who mostly reads newspaper strips, aside from a bunch of goons in BSS?

dpbjinc posted:

Old people who don't know how to use computers?

grumplestiltzkin posted:

Theres an archived thread along the lines of "sexual situations gone awkwardly wrong." In it, a man beds a mother daughter team, and a girl is raped by a dog. But for the other 99% of the thread? Dicks gettin' shat on. Nothin but dicks gettin' shat on. You should look it up.

Corridor posted:

So hey I have an actual question. For a while now there's been this thing where my phone rings, I answer, and there's dead silence so I just hang up. I never put any thought into it, I guess I just always assumed it was a telemarketer who got a bad signal or something similar I dunno. But yesterday a friend was over while it happened. When I mentioned it, they're like... "Dude, that's not a thing that happens to most people. On most phones. That's really freaking weird."

So do I have a stalker, or what?

gobbledygoat posted:

All we can do is regret the loss of the paranormal forums cause it sounds like you've got a ghost in the cell.

Tears In A Vial posted:

My favourite example of this is in TNG S01E12: The Big Goodbye, when Picard calls upon the ships 20th Century Literary Historian to join him on the holodeck as he recreated a pulp detective novel.

Dude had to sit on his rear end off camera in a room somewhere for the next 170 episodes because there is no other circumstance where you would need a 20th Century Literary Historian.

Painful Dart Bomb posted:

http://www.wikihow.com/Eat-Roadkill

I was with them until step 9.

quote:

9. Bless your roadkill. For many promoters of eating roadkill, it is an indictment on our fuel-driven, human-centric society that so many animals die each year on our roads for the sake of humans going from A to B for purposes we find important but that completely disrupt the lives of animals and their normal foraging, hunting, mating, and migration patterns. Following this line of thinking through, by eating roadkill you're making the most of a terrible outcome from the animals' perspective, and the least the animal deserves is your compassionate blessing.

Keep your religious bullcrap to yourself! I just want to know how to clean and eat dead poo poo I found on the road.

Invisble Manuel posted:

Nativity In Black posted:

I had to stare at this for a whole minute to figure out what was going on.

A Fancy 400 lbs posted:

It's called socializing.