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edit: apologies - now realize someone else said the same thing above...
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| # ¿ Mar 11, 2011 02:28 |
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| # ¿ May 25, 2013 04:28 |
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~mjq jazz bar posted:epic bullshit I knew a guy in the Navy who would spin one of these tall tales at the drop of a hat - but he expected everyone to believe him. We would just up the ante and make up the most ridiculous poo poo and eventually he would get that we were loving with him. But it didn't stop him from doing it again the next day. First time I had close contact with a verifiable pathological liar - it was kind of amazing, really.
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| # ¿ Apr 16, 2011 02:59 |
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In the Post your moments of WHAT THE CHRIST!? thread:batomys posted:
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| # ¿ May 31, 2011 18:46 |
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Spiffo posted:pro click, also the mods are in there calling him out on being a creep and the OP is playing the Puppetmaster defense now despite being caught all over the internet Truly worth reading. I did, but I don't get what the "puppetmaster" defense is? I looked on SAclopedia... Is it where he says he's trolling everyone and did it as a joke?
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| # ¿ Jun 2, 2011 02:18 |
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Bruiser posted:I know it's tacky as gently caress to quote yourself, but here's what I was trying to quote the other day. I'm pretty proud of poo poo posts. No, it's tackier than gently caress. Also, I had to post because you mentioned Mussolini
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| # ¿ Jun 15, 2011 04:10 |
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FROOOOOOOOG posted:Oh man, soft-shell crabs. Eat them. When I was 20 I had no idea what soft-shell crabs were, so I ordered a soft-shell crab sandwich. I really wasn't expecting to get a sandwich with legs. And some gross ooze all over the place after the first tentative bite. Not my cup of tea. I prefer them shredded...
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| # ¿ Jul 4, 2011 16:33 |
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Robot Lincoln posted:There's no way that works unless you really commit. Anything less than 100% results in big line of rabbit entrails running from your rear end to the back of your head. 
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| # ¿ Jul 4, 2011 19:37 |
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Jam With Seeds posted:If you're tall enough, yeah. Problem is that small children are rarely tall enough and they don't have the strength to make it work. Then the bunny squeals and flops around with a severely prolapsed rectum, and the kid sees that he has done something truly evil which scars him for life.
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| # ¿ Jul 4, 2011 20:26 |
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muscles like this? posted:From the "weird knock-off" thread: Danilh posted:
That deserves a repeat. It has been weeks since I literally laughed out loud. (llol'ed, I guess...)
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| # ¿ Jul 14, 2011 03:29 |
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white quilt posted:I love the idea that he thought goons wouldn't know what the Enterprise's registry number is. Derail, but gently caress it. Maybe ten years ago I was watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and the $250,000 or $500,000 question had to do with the registry code for military vs. non-military airplanes. I can't remember the details, but the gist of it was that because I knew NCC-1701, and that I knew there was no way the creators of the show would make the Enterprise a miliary vessel (or wessel...) (even though by nearly ANY definition you choose, it actually is) I knew the answer. I remember telling my wife that if I was the guy on the show, I would tell Regis the answer, and make him wait until the reveal to give him my reason. If I was wrong, I would take the rationale to my grave. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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| # ¿ Aug 26, 2011 19:43 |
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TheMaskedUgly posted:I've got some bonsai kittens I can sell you for a small fee. Of course it's a small fee.
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| # ¿ Sep 15, 2011 00:55 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:Funny you should say that. Adaptive Systems actually turned out to be CNN's Christiane Amanpour.  ...and now you know...*heh heh*...the Rest of the Story.
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| # ¿ Oct 20, 2011 16:11 |
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Woz My Neg rear end posted:Do you do it while the printer is plugged into the wall and while having no clue what the gently caress you're doing? If you do it in the shower the powder doesn't waft up so you breathe it in. The jury is out whether you should have it plugged in or not when in the shower - the people who did it while plugged in haven't responded.
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| # ¿ Nov 4, 2011 16:09 |
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reflir posted:Also it is clearly not a dream anybody had. The idea of a soft owl you keep in a bottle may be one of the most brilliant things I've ever read, but he overdoes it in the end with the check feeding and the 'all life is pain'. Yeah - and the idea that anyone could really think this stuff up while they weren't dreaming is also not possible. Clearly it is a pastiche of several dreams or a story plagiarized from several other documents.
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| # ¿ Nov 18, 2011 17:22 |
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Woz My Neg rear end posted:Maybe it's a very early draft of Eraserhead. The Aphasian posted:I dunno; I have a host of sleep disorders and sometimes poo poo can get really weird, especially when trying new sleep aids, prescription or, um, self-medicated. (Cough syrup + Dramamine will gently caress you up. P.S. DON'T DO THIS IT WAS VERY STUPID.) Not saying it isn't beautiful lies, just saying that it could be that one in a million. I don't care if you say otherwise and I will not pay attention to any evidence to the contrary. In fact, after I post this I will be smashing my computer so I have the last word on the subject. Furthermore, just in case someone were to become comptroller of the US Treasury so they could print some evidence that contradicts my assertion on a government check so when I look to see how much my IRS refund is I see that instead, I will shortly commit suicide. Yes, I know I could do direct deposit and avoid the whole "comptroller altering my check" possibility, but let's be serious. Let me reiterate: It is clear that reflir and I agree that creative thought at this level is only achievable through a collaborative effort.
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| # ¿ Nov 18, 2011 18:27 |
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tourgon posted:The first story in gif form: The reason I believe it: "Should I call you?"
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| # ¿ Dec 12, 2011 18:19 |
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Pakled posted:It took me a couple moments to register that he was talking about the band rather than the Archduke of Austria-Hungary. I never have that problem with my Edmund Muskie fanfic.
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| # ¿ Jan 10, 2012 18:10 |
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TequilaJesus posted:Any context to this? I'm sure it's about painting miniature war gaming figures. People (men) who paint them really despise players who don't. Personally, I can see where they are coming from, but what happens is they make rules about it, which leads to lazy fucks doing a lovely job, which likely makes the guys even more angry. But opponents are few and far between, so what can they do?
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| # ¿ Jan 22, 2012 06:38 |
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From the PYF Can of Worms thread:RandomFerret posted:That's not funny or interesting and it's obvious you wrote it in an attempt to get it in the quotes thread.
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| # ¿ Jan 24, 2012 21:46 |
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MildManeredManikin posted:Our school had something like that except the chestnuts were plentiful and easy to get. The value came from sticking tacks in them in certain places to make them look like weird little creatures. We had to stop because some people in the school were allergic to nuts. So it was actually a lot different but for some reason kids just love chestnuts. 20 years ago I actually collected a bunch of the "wrong" kind of chestnuts ((horse chestnuts? - because they look like horse manure? - or some other reason they are called that?) and scored the top of them like you're supposed to, then roasted them in the oven for a long time. In the process a couple fell off the cookie sheet, and I burned the everloving gently caress out of my arm when I hit it on the side of the oven in the process of getting them out. They were completely inedible - I doubt you could eat them even if you were starving. Anyway, the burn was horrible looking and took months to heal, leaving a big scar that is still there if you know where to look. Then later in life there was a street vendor (in Italy? or Brazil?) selling them and I had a fight with my wife because I stopped to buy them and she was in a hurry to go somewhere else, and didn't like the idea of me buying street food, and generally was just being uptight about every loving thing in the entire world. So I paid a few dollars for a paper cone of these chestnuts - they were definitely different from the ones I had tried to make years before. My wife is crabbing at me, they are too hot to eat and so are a constant source of irritation to my wife who wants to do something but can't because I have these hot chestnuts in my hand (if you know what I mean...(ha)) and finally they cool enough so I can eat one. You know, so I can experience the pure nirvana that "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire", sung by Mel Torme and epitomizing the happiness that is Christmas, must be. Oh, the only thing better would be if it actually WAS Christmas and there was a light snow drifting down as we waltzed along the sidewalk, instead of navigating a loud, smelly foreign street with my wife shrilling like a harpy. To say that they tasted like poo poo would be an overstatement - in reality they tasted like a mealy flavorless nut. About the best thing you can say about them is that if you are starving, they are edible. I had a couple more just to be sure that I didn't get a "bad one" but that was not the case, and I tossed them. That's pretty much it. Yeah, kids might like chestnuts but in my experience they can kiss my rear end.
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| # ¿ Feb 6, 2012 17:26 |
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PalmTreeFun posted:SATAN GUIDE MY COCK! From the Amusing and Provocative Political Pictures thread. aricoarena posted:
visceril posted:light-colored and dolichocephalic--clearly of the Nordic race. Perfection indeed. Redgrendel2001 posted:Her maiden name is Bisek which is Polish, i.e. not Nordic. Looking up her last name also led to this: Callista Gingrich
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| # ¿ Feb 16, 2012 21:29 |
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Deacon of Delicious posted:As that bear is so vividly demonstrating.
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| # ¿ Feb 28, 2012 20:09 |
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RagnarokAngel posted:Yeah if you're German I can understand, it's pretty common to take 2 english expressions that mean the same thing and combine them for humor, in this case "It's not rocket science" and "It's not brain surgery" But strangely enough, you never hear anyone say: "Is a bear Catholic?" Which is strange because you'd think there would be enough funny guys who would think of this and say it to be "so ironic" that it would have entered the language and thus be something that people say.
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| # ¿ Mar 10, 2012 19:11 |
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Spiffo posted:Does the tired joke run itself into the ground? Interesting conundrum. Because of course a joke has to gain some traction in order to catch on and become familiar, but then there has to be something about it which then later causes it to become "tired", as opposed to "classic".
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| # ¿ Mar 12, 2012 15:51 |
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hyperhazard posted:Someone mentioned the fake problems E/N thread, which reminded me of this jewel. The System posted:Girlfriend has amputee fetish. Do I sever?  Steve: So, she's gorgeous and you're definitely in... what's wrong this time? Jeff: This is the worst one ever! I can't even talk about it! Steve: Jeff, Jeff. I know about the Giggle Loop, the Sock Gap, the Nudity Buffer and what you said to Audrey Watkins. Believe me there is nothing you can possibly say that will surprise me. So what's the trouble? Jeff: I've got too many legs!
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| # ¿ Mar 14, 2012 14:02 |
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1stGear posted:I've come to realize that FYAD is actually a cautionary tale about ironic humor becoming so ironic it disappears up its own rear end in a top hat. Yeah, FYAD used to have a porn thread that was pretty good, and it occasionally has other interesting threads, but I will be honest that I really don't get the rest of it, and am OK with that. Live and let live.
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| # ¿ Mar 23, 2012 04:23 |
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In regard to that quote about the child murdering tools, you missed that it was a meta-burn on the somewhat  post I made earlier, in regard to a catalog item.PaleFigure posted:So I was looking through one of those mail-order catalogues today, you know the type: full of interesting little curios like long-handled nail scissors or socks with pockets or battery powered mini-blenders, that are a bit too pricey or not quite useful enough to be worth it. They never have anything really all that interesting, but I enjoy browsing through them now and then to kill a few minutes. Many states used to have laws against selling sexual products, etc. For all I know, some of them probably still have them - they are the type of laws that are difficult to get rid of because voting for them means you are a de facto pervert and sexual deviant. So as culture changes, the law just doesn't get enforced (except in some small towns, etc.). ANYWAY - in the old days, people still wanted dildos and vibrators so in these states they sold "neck massagers" and "art objects" and "pickle cleaners" (or whatever) so they could legally market these otherwise "forbidden" products. This is just a left-over from that.
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| # ¿ Mar 28, 2012 01:20 |
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Nucular Carmul posted:Troll? Satire? Actual event being described? You decide! 72 Mercury Montego. Gotta be satire.
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| # ¿ May 4, 2012 04:26 |
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Magic Hate Ball posted:Quoting about circle of life Dad jokes... ...the crucial difference is that MY "dad jokes" are funny.
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| # ¿ May 19, 2012 14:25 |
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Eggplant Wizard posted:Please post your dad jokes in the pyf hilarious jokes thread. I love stupid jokes. That's what she said...
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| # ¿ May 19, 2012 15:41 |
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| # ¿ May 25, 2013 04:28 |
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7thBatallion posted:Holy poo poo, the work that must have gone into it. And at this point, 285 views. Tragic.
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| # ¿ Jun 17, 2012 17:50 |
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