LadyPictureShow posted:

He just looks so mad to be getting a blowjob.

Save Russian Jews posted:

He looks like the soup nazi

WHEEZY MISS A DUDE posted:

NO COCK FOR YOU

Q_res posted:

A woman emailed me to tell me how funny she thought my ad was, and wanted to know 'the truth'. Then had me start text messaging her, then we talked on the phone for half an hour.

This thread might get me laid, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Q_res posted:

So...

Let's say, hypothetically, one were to end up sleeping with someone because of this thread. Would that be weird?

Jamsque posted:

This man, possibly an accomplice of the Breadgunner, was recently sighted amid the chaos of anti-government protests in Egypt. The press have nicknamed him Breadhelmet.

Fl0yd posted:

Hey Mubarak - baguette the gently caress out

All Hat No Cattle posted:

Yeah, if you don't have self esteem, it's okay for everyone else to treat you like poo poo. Social Darwinism, that'll teach 'em. Also, baseless generalizations are awesome.

A white wedding can be beautiful, and if the bride and groom think it's the most wonderful wedding ever, more power to 'em, but if they think one white wedding will stand out from all the other similar ones to anyone else, they're a bit blind.

Which reminds me of something: you hear a lot about brides (and grooms) getting very caught up in what kind of flowers there'll be, how many petals per table, if the confetti on the table is heart shaped or dove shaped, whether or not the lace on the flower girl dress was hand-tatted by 80 year old mute Ukranian virgins (as it drat well should be, unless you're a hussy), etc. Someone said to me once that they couldn't remember any of the little details about a wedding, just the big ones and the fun moments. Like instead of the details of the decorations, whether they thought they were pretty and classy, whether the food was tasty instead of whether the chicken had capers or not, whether the DJ was crude or not, if the wedding part/families were pleasant, first dances, etc. Just their impressions and the good parts, not whether the roses were blooming or half-blooming.

I decided then and there when I plan my wedding and reception, I'll plan it with that in mind. Make it fun and tasteful and pretty and fill it in from there, with the wedding for me and the reception for my guests. And to have beer and wine because while I hate drunks at weddings, it's still a wedding, goddamn it.

But there will be no chicken dance. God help me if the DJ goes over my head and plays the chicken dance. Fire could rain down, a hellmouth could open up, and terrorists could kidnap the entire wedding party, and once Jack Bauer and Buffy rescue us I'd still say, "Well, it was a reception to remember!" but if I hear one note of the chicken dance I will go full on loving Bridezilla.

Slide Rule posted:

In the Please vote for my porcine princess for Fatty Figures Fashion week! thread in GBS:

Burrito posted:

Here are dogs doing parkour.





Dogs are so behind the times in what's hip.

sick trigger posted:

*barkour

sergg posted:

I have casual sex with multiple partners now whereas before I had a steady girlfriend who treated me like crap and I ate out of her hand and let her control who I hung out with and how I spent my time. I tend to sleep with and be romantically linked to people who are below my standards because its a lot less hassle and I'm not hurt when they leave me.

SunknLiner posted:

Meanwhile, here's the sign by our coffee machine:


Click for big.

What does this tell you?

Da Grinch posted:

It tells me you work in the physics lab with Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Kennel posted:

Son Conan posted:

I like to think the story here is that, in the first picture, he's using a cheesy pick-up line on some lady seal, and the second picture is him, having failed to get a date, beating himself up over it.

CrunchyTaco posted:

That's the last time he tries that club.

Chard posted:

I almost want to eat a big bowl of the OP's chili just so I can have the experience of making GBS threads it out.

Dagny posted:

powder 2 da people posted:

I swear to god I'm not saying this just to be a typical male, but only because I've recently come to realize how satisfying it is to hear from the opposite sex, since I've also undergone a body transformation.

But, I would gently caress the poo poo outta you!

Schroedinger posted:

Awesome work, Dagny!

powder 2 da people posted:

I swear to god I'm not saying this just to be a typical male, but only because I've recently come to realize how satisfying it is to hear from the opposite sex, since I've also undergone a body transformation.

But, I would gently caress the poo poo outta you!

. . . Remember folks, don't assume weight loss will magically give you social skills!

Trig Discipline posted:

something like "foreigners tend to think dutch people are jerks because they are blunt and dismissive of everything, but that's just them being dutch at you, try not to take it personally"

Mutter posted:

and kitties

Doctor Reynolds posted:

Now THAT is proper marketing.

Factory Factory posted:

But is it for McDonalds, Amazon, or Nascar?

wyoming posted:

Leovinus posted:

the gooniest vampire

hereyoume posted:

Sand Cat kittens at the Cincinnati Zoo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Sh4tu5Xfhw

P.M.F. posted:

Did these guys really go with calling their feline section "The Cathouse"?

Taerkar posted:

Well, what else would you use to describe a building containing a lot of the smaller wild cats?

Slashie posted:

The pussy den?

Saint Sputnik posted:

The Pussy Palace obviously.

P.M.F. posted:

We've got spotted pusses, striped pusses, small pusses, big pusses... wild pusses!

Funkz posted:

It's for luck.

P.M.F. posted:

Is she playing Craps?

Jibo posted:

I seriously hate people who put kids on leashes.

Rakanakle posted:

When I was about 6 or so my parents would make me hold their hands when I was walking around town on Halloween. I convinced them to leash me instead one year because holding hands was lame, and I became a free man. A slashing miniature Darth Vader with a mean stick. Nobody was safe from me. For about 10 feet anyway.

Now I look back and realize that instead of looking like a dork, I looked like a little psychopath and my mom looked like a jerk.

Greenlit posted:

I just found three of my current employees.

catpowerd posted:

What did they do?

Z-Magic posted:

Assaulted their former employers.

Klaus88 posted:

Space Marine Thread in Games.

I'm not even sure what this wall of text is trying to convey.

Dr. Spiderman posted:

Last page buddy.

Bad Munki posted:

I know I personally choose my video card based solely on the size of the monster/robot/warrior/tits on the box. Strangely, I was not as happy with my Radeon Mammus 3600 DD+ as I thought I would be.

jay winston posted:

I emailed Norway and asked if I could buy Bouvet Island from them.

Their reply:

quote:

We refer to your e-mail received by Norway.no

It is not for sale, and you can not go there on your own, as it is preserved area.

Kind regards

Norway.no

Average Bear posted:

Did you try asking Norway.yes yet?

RebelWorm posted:

From Bring me the strangest fanart!

Mr. Despair posted:

I remember funding a city purely by taking out bonds, buying enough crap to qualify for more bonds, over and over again. I think my monthy bills were something like 500K in the hole each month, and I was still staying ahead.


Until the nuclear plant exploded. God that was beautiful to watch how fast I got kicked out of office.

Freudian posted:

You aren't by any chance a member of Congress, are you?

Van Dis posted:

Link, please.

JossiRossi posted:

Looking up how your ancestor's died is pretty interesting.

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

Cancer, Cancer, Cancer, Parkinsons and many other issues (also possibly cancer since she had recurrent benign growths), Cancer/drunk, Polio, Cancer, Trampled by a horse, and the only other one I remember being told about was a Civil War casualty.

I like to imagine my family tree is actually a tumor with branches.

dat one portagee posted:

There's this one quote I'm trying to remember, something about Kramer Kramers into the room and then Krammering his way out the window. I remember seeing it in LF, and I think it was Quixotic who posted it, but I may be wrong.

Schlinky posted:

Since I'm working on Christmas and I've got nothing better to do right now, I'd thought I'd post some stuff here. Pre-emptive apologies for my terrible writing.

Sometimes, the people you know and exercise with can be a real boost for pushing you to the next level.

I'll give you the example of my mother. For over 30 years she's been a runner, so I remember alot of my youth seeing her go out for a jog every few days, usually around 5-10 kilometers. I also remember her training for a few events - some half marathons, once a full one. And for the most part she's done this all herself, always somehow motivating herself to get up and go running. But beyond a few races, she never really went any further than that.

At the beginning of last year she decided she wanted to compete in another half marathon, to see how far she could go. And, at the age of 59, she managed to finish in a time of just under 120 minutes. Rather satisfying for her really. Around this time, while she was going for a run with me, we ran into our orthodontist, who we found out is also a runner. He was part of an older group who went running on the weekends together, and invited her to join. After the race, she decided to take them up on their offer.

The first time she went running with this group, she got shocked when she found out that their 'casual Saturday run' consisted of running 15-20km, more than double what she would do on a good day. Somehow she stuck with them, more often than not running further than she thought she initially could. All of a sudden, my mum went from somebody who thought she'd only manage to run a half marathon once a year to doing them every drat Saturday.

What sets this group apart though are the people who run with her that have really help her push to that next level. There's Christoph, a 70 year-old man who still does a sub-four hour marathon. There's the couple who decided to go all out and compete in the Mount Everest marathon. At least 5 of them have competed in Comrades Ultra-Marathon, two of which have done it more than 10 times. There's shitloads more achievements they've done, but it's this intensity and camaraderie that keeps them together, to keep pushing, to shut the gently caress up and keep running.

Prior to this, neither of us ever thought she'd ever do another marathon. With the help of this group, she's now completed 2 more marathons, and is applying to race in the New York Marathon next year.

Anyway, I think all runners are crazy, and this has confirmed it.


edit: Jesus this got long and e/n. Sorry about that.

Douche Bag posted:

He sounds like a weird sexist creep. Imagine if a woman demanded a potential roommate have washboard abs and a huge wang.

Jam With Seeds posted:

"Looking For Roommate: Must do laundry on own abs and beat lawn into submission with throbbing rod. Ability to clean dishes with your rear end a plus, but not required."

Gilgamesh posted:

N3RDSTER posted:

In that vein: horrifying or hot?

bhsman posted:

Hortifying?

Jibo posted:

This is probably the sound most people would make attempting such a thing.

bhsman posted:

See I was waiting for someone to make a cultivation joke and you just go for the low-hanging fruit.

Grand Fromage posted:

nimby posted:

29 weddings
29 bungee jumps

I think they have a fun wedding scheme going on.

nielsm posted:

"Do you promise to love and cherish this woman for all eternity?"
"Yes."
"You may now push the bride."

Roar posted:

It's a shame all those people are plunging right into marriage.

zarbicore posted:

Bad Moon posted:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Sinking Ship posted:

Bad Moon posted:

what am I missing here?

redmercer posted:

(Give it a minute to show up)

Bolivar posted:

I still don't get it. Ok, there's a clown in the picture, on purpose. So?

Twiggy Johnson posted:

Goons are terrified of clowns. Maybe you don't belong here.

Agent355 posted:

And spiders, anybody got awkward spider pictures?

That Ignorant Sap posted:

Schroeder91 posted:

Mr. D Bewildering posted:

Schroeder91 posted:

Wow, she sucks at air hockey.

Moneyball posted:

This popped up on my news feed:


I'm NOT hot or gorgeous. I DON'T have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model but, I'm ME. I eat food, I have curves, I have more fat than I should, I have scars, I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, some hate me. I have done good, I have done bad. I love my Pj's and I go without makeup. I'm random and crazy, I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, you can love me or not. I won't change! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart! I make no apologies for the way I am. Ladies, put this as your status if you're proud of who you are

Humanoid Female posted:

If I saw that in my feed, I'd loving post a customized version in response.

I've lifted weights and eaten right and stuck with the program even when I didn't get any visible results for three years because of the meds I was on. I've gone to the gym direct from chemotherapy when it took me two hours to do a 30-minute workout because I had to keep stopping so I wouldn't faint or throw up in between benching your bodyweight. Don't tell me about your loving scars, I have deadlifted 200lbs with foot-long lines of tape around my ribs to try and stop mine from getting ripped open for the millionth time, and when it happened anyway I stuffed toilet paper in the holes then went back and finished the set. Don't tell me about your loving history, I'm 40 and I have stage 4 cancer and I still manage to do more and whine less than you. I outgrew thinking "random and crazy" were any substitute for "well-balanced and intelligent" when I was 12. I make no apologies for the way I am. You shouldn't either, but being proud of who you are generally requires actually doing something to be proud of, beyond the fact that you exist, and truly confident people don't usually spend all their time acting like Princess Smugwad about the fact that they got out of bed this morning. Ladies, put this as your status if you're proud of who you are.

Why yes I do frequently get unfriended on Facebook, why do you ask?

Calaveron posted:

It would be nice if we could get some context, maybe a link to the post in the thread.

*PUNCH* posted:

Oh god... Am I screwed in a few years?

Airconswitch posted:

Just enact the "Abstinence-only sex education" ordinance. That should fix your population problems.

Bolivar posted:

...and one of my all-time favourites:

GWBBQ posted:

I though we wiped out Polio half a century ago.

Excavation posted:

He found it in a thrift store.

SlimGoodbody posted:

Yeah. I started it whilst impatiently waiting for a quesadilla to melt, then I blacked out, and when I came to the drawing was done and had smeared Enochian sigils on the fridge with cat menstrual blood.

Or maybe quesadilla then NyQuil. So hard to remember. So NyQuil.

edit: The pen says it's a Bic Atlantis. I would have preferred a plain old black Papermate, they flow really well and almost never stick. Also, shut up, pen! You don't get to say anything, you're a pen!