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DAAS Kapitalist
Nov 9, 2005

Jackass: The Mad Monk

Don't try this at home.

foobardog posted:

3. I'd say no goal due to outside agent. Drop ball. The real question is if the leg counts as part of the player, and I think it does not once he does not have sufficient control over it. Maybe if he was that superhero that can detach their limbs, then I'd still give no goal and a card for unsporting behavior.

Iraq are down 1-0 in a World Cup qualifier. At 80 minutes, manager Uday Hussein orders support staff to start surgical chainsaws on the sidelines. At the next corner, the Iraqi players hurl their severed legs at the incoming cross. One connects, putting the ball in the back of the net. What do you do?

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DAAS Kapitalist
Nov 9, 2005

Jackass: The Mad Monk

Don't try this at home.

the sex ghost posted:

get your loafs and your dogsos ready because it's that time of the week again



1. Depends on league-specific rules on kit. No law that the captain be distinguishable by their clothing.
2. Depends how long he takes to get up. If he takes too long after refusing treatment, yellow card and order another player to take the penalty.
3. Offside. I'd like to send the defender off under the heading of interfering with an official, but I think only a yellow can be given. Report the offence for the league to deal with.

DAAS Kapitalist
Nov 9, 2005

Jackass: The Mad Monk

Don't try this at home.
1. Goal. You didn't see the ball go out of play until after it had hit the goalkeeper. There is no "not sure".
2. Take a photo and put it up at goatsec.ks after the game.
3. Stop listening to the players and your job becomes a lot easier (see q1). You didn't see it, so it's a goal.

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