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nyerf posted:It makes my job harder when folks don't seem to give a poo poo that the baby has a functioning heart, abdominal organs, four limbs and a head, that the placenta looks intact and the cervix isn't open. No, of course I'm just here to tell you what sex it is and get you a cute picture that you can post on Facebook. Here you go. It seems like a pretty tough job, though. The sonographer for both of my kids basically did the scan, told us everything looked good, and then asked if we wanted to know the gender after the important stuff, which we appreciated. We just weren't really sure how to express that other than thanking the sonographer profusely and carrying on polite conversation.
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Dec 13, 2014 20:17
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Most people do exactly that, and I don't mean to suggest there's a huge number of people who don't care about baby's health. That's why for most people I do try to get the facebook pics and save some movie clips of baby kicking or yawning or whatever. For me it's no big deal, but it matters hell of a lot to them and I get it. But every so often you get the douchebags who think they're going to a personalised cinema screening for their own entertainment, not a medical test. I guess it's partly from wanting to spare parents some of the terror that this impression of 20 week scan as entertainment has cropped up. There are even private non-medical outfits here in Australia that will do 'vanity' 3D scans that you can pay through the nose for. Sucks because 3D ultrasound is actually crazy medically useful but of course the general public usually have no idea how or why. Cleft lips and meningoceles are more easily demonstrated on 3D for example.
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Dec 13, 2014 21:16
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We found out the sex from the DNA test that we did. Also ruled out chromosomal issues so that was helpful overall. That meant that our 20 week ultrasound we didn't really need to be told. Made things nice and easy. Was nice to see all the fingers, the toes, the organs the nicely formed face. We found out the sex because I figured it would just be easier for all the people asking questions. I do feel now that we need a little card: It's a girl Due March 9th We don't have a name picked out yet Everything is going pretty well We are excited
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Dec 13, 2014 21:21
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Funhilde posted:We are excited Haha, I know that people ask this just as a way of sharing their enthusiasm, but I was always so tempted to just answer with a deadpan: "No. This totally sucks, we've started looking for boarding schools for babies."
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Dec 13, 2014 21:51
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I feel I would have needed to add onto that with "I feel pregnant". Literally every person was like "Sooo how do you feel!?". Either I could have told them that it hurts to walk, I peed 5 times in the past hour, I can barely eat solids but get me a drat slurpee and yes that really is a baby and I'm not just getting fat.... Or, I just told them "I feel pregnant" . I don't understand what people wanted to actually hear.
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Dec 13, 2014 22:00
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Emily A. Stanton posted:I feel I would have needed to add onto that with "I feel pregnant". Literally every person was like "Sooo how do you feel!?". Either I could have told them that it hurts to walk, I peed 5 times in the past hour, I can barely eat solids but get me a drat slurpee and yes that really is a baby and I'm not just getting fat.... Or, I just told them "I feel pregnant" . I don't understand what people wanted to actually hear. I found with my first pregnancy that "well my passenger is camped on my sciatic nerve when he's not headbutting my bladder" got a sympathetic laugh and no more questions, lest I go into more detail. I'll resume saying it when people notice I'm pregnant again (22 weeks and nobody's commented yet, it's weird).
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Dec 13, 2014 22:13
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If you pay attention everybody is giving you that weird sidelong glance wondering if you're pregnant or just gaining weight. I thought that was hilarious.
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Dec 13, 2014 22:21
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Yep! At 22 weeks exactly one person (some random older dude at a bus stop) has commented. I assume everyone else is thinking "pregnant, or super fat?"
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Dec 13, 2014 23:42
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Well if I'm clutching the side that aches I just tell them I've got some lame pain on my side but otherwise I could be worse. Also that there is definitely a baby in there moving around.
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Dec 14, 2014 00:07
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Please forgive me if this has been discussed earlier in the thread, but I haven't had time to read everything because my first child was just born three months premature earlier this week. He is doing as well as can be expected which just means nothing disastrous has happened up until this point. However, what it does mean is that he stops breathing several times a day and sometimes his heart rate will drop from 150 to 50 in a matter of seconds. I realize all this is normal for a baby in his state, but it doesn't make it any less heart wrenching when you are in the room when it happens. I also realize that statistically, he has an over 85% chance of surviving with no significant long term affects, but, again, doesn't help so much emotionally. Has anyone here been through this before and have any suggestions on coping mechanisms or on things we might not be thinking about? To be clear, we both seem to be coping fine, I was just wandering if there was anything that especially helped other people.
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Dec 14, 2014 07:15
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confused posted:Please forgive me if this has been discussed earlier in the thread, but I haven't had time to read everything because my first child was just born three months premature earlier this week. He is doing as well as can be expected which just means nothing disastrous has happened up until this point. However, what it does mean is that he stops breathing several times a day and sometimes his heart rate will drop from 150 to 50 in a matter of seconds. I realize all this is normal for a baby in his state, but it doesn't make it any less heart wrenching when you are in the room when it happens. I also realize that statistically, he has an over 85% chance of surviving with no significant long term affects, but, again, doesn't help so much emotionally. Congratulations! My NICU provided us with a social worker who worked closely with us and got me into therapy pretty quickly. Therapy and family support that allowed me to basically spend all my time at the hospital and only go home to sleep and shower is what got me through it. And continued therapy after he came home, I was later diagnosed with PTSD as a result of the whole thing. It was a rough first year for the whole family. But we're all healthy and happy and relatively well-adjusted these days. Set small goals so it's not so overwhelming. Look forward to when your baby gains a few ounces, eats on his own, eats a few more mils, gets out of micropreemie diapers and into preemie ones. It's easier to always look toward the next small goal.
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Dec 14, 2014 08:27
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Fionnoula posted:Congratulations! My NICU provided us with a social worker who worked closely with us and got me into therapy pretty quickly. Therapy and family support that allowed me to basically spend all my time at the hospital and only go home to sleep and shower is what got me through it. And continued therapy after he came home, I was later diagnosed with PTSD as a result of the whole thing. It was a rough first year for the whole family. But we're all healthy and happy and relatively well-adjusted these days. Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I'm glad to hear that it worked out for you in the end. I think I had been doing the small goals thing a bit without thinking of it that way. I think I will try to start thinking more deliberately along those lines. The one really big help we have right now is that both my wife's parents were able to come out and stay with us for a while. This has been a big help with things like food and has the extra bonus that they are both doctors, so they can give us a good perspective on relative risks and interpreting changes in his condition. The next small goal is that, for insurance reasons, he needs to be transferred from one hospital to another one on Monday. I have been anxious about this, but it seems like the general consensus is that the new hospital has stronger facilities and resources so will be better for him in the long run, which has calmed me a bit.
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Dec 14, 2014 09:14
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confused posted:Please forgive me if this has been discussed earlier in the thread, but I haven't had time to read everything because my first child was just born three months premature earlier this week. We had two NICU babies in the space of a calendar year in our family. They were not MY babies, but my sister's and we are a very close family. Like Fionnoula, we rejoiced in every single improvement in conditions, even if that improvement was "no declines". Let family help you, let them give you a break. Make sure you eat, sleep, shower, take some time when you can to 'relax'. If you have an exercise routine, take the time to do that still (if you want). My sister NEEDED to be there at all times, and I fully understand that, but I had a friend that needed to take a 30 minute jog in the mornings to 'reset'.
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Dec 15, 2014 20:29
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Amykinz posted:We had two NICU babies in the space of a calendar year in our family. They were not MY babies, but my sister's and we are a very close family. Like Fionnoula, we rejoiced in every single improvement in conditions, even if that improvement was "no declines". Let family help you, let them give you a break. Make sure you eat, sleep, shower, take some time when you can to 'relax'. If you have an exercise routine, take the time to do that still (if you want). My sister NEEDED to be there at all times, and I fully understand that, but I had a friend that needed to take a 30 minute jog in the mornings to 'reset'. Thanks for the feedback. Good to keep in mind. For insurance reasons, he had to be transferred from one hospital to another, which happened today. By all accounts he is doing well, so am more relaxed tonight now that the transfer is done.
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Dec 16, 2014 04:53
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This may sound like a dumb question but what kind of bedding do newborns sleep on? I'm planning to sew some sheets and a bumper over the holidays, and it seems like people might not use flat sheets in favor of light blankets, sleep sacks, etc. They'd be easy to sew of course, but I won't bother if I'm not going to use them. The baby is coming in April and we live in Southern CA so this kid will not experience any cold temperatures as a newborn.
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Dec 17, 2014 04:45
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Baja Mofufu posted:This may sound like a dumb question but what kind of bedding do newborns sleep on? I'm planning to sew some sheets and a bumper over the holidays, and it seems like people might not use flat sheets in favor of light blankets, sleep sacks, etc. They'd be easy to sew of course, but I won't bother if I'm not going to use them. The baby is coming in April and we live in Southern CA so this kid will not experience any cold temperatures as a newborn. Fitted sheet only. No blankets, flat sheets, or pillows. AAP and all the SIDS prevention groups also discourage bumper use due to entrapment, strangulation, and suffocation risk. My baby slept in a onesie with a light sleepsack over it (also Southern California)
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Dec 17, 2014 04:51
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So Anyone have any bra suggestions? Anything with a clasp in the back is out of my comfort zone. Best camisoles with bras? I'm prepared to basically just stop wearing bras because that is what feels the best.
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Dec 17, 2014 04:54
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Fionnoula posted:Fitted sheet only. No blankets, flat sheets, or pillows. AAP and all the SIDS prevention groups also discourage bumper use due to entrapment, strangulation, and suffocation risk. My baby slept in a onesie with a light sleepsack over it (also Southern California) Thanks very much! My mother-in-law mentioned making a bumper and I just hadn't looked into it yet. Maybe some outdated advice? Fitted sheets it is.
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Dec 17, 2014 04:59
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Baja Mofufu posted:Thanks very much! My mother-in-law mentioned making a bumper and I just hadn't looked into it yet. Maybe some outdated advice? Fitted sheets it is. They still sell crib bedding sets that include bumpers and big fluffy comforters. It's outdated advice, but the market is pointedly ignoring the advice in favor of selling $200 bedding sets full of poo poo you aren't supposed to use.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:09
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Funhilde posted:So Anyone have any bra suggestions? Anything with a clasp in the back is out of my comfort zone. Best camisoles with bras? I'm prepared to basically just stop wearing bras because that is what feels the best. I picked up a pair of Coobie bras from a recommendation in this thread somewhere and I am pretty happy with them. Right now there's a buy one get one deal with the code XMAS at Coobie.com.
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Dec 17, 2014 06:17
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Funhilde posted:So Anyone have any bra suggestions? Anything with a clasp in the back is out of my comfort zone. Best camisoles with bras? I'm prepared to basically just stop wearing bras because that is what feels the best.
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Dec 17, 2014 07:25
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Fionnoula posted:My baby slept in a onesie with a light sleepsack over it (also Southern California) Sleep sacks are awesome! Kiddo still sleeps happily on fitted sheets, no pillow, in a sleep sack, and she's 1,5 years. She flails about a lot in her sleep, and without the sleep sack she'll get her legs stuck through the bars and wake herself up, or she'll get cold. She has woolen jammies and extra wool socks on, though, 'cause we're in Norway and it's winter.
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Dec 17, 2014 09:14
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Baja Mofufu posted:Thanks very much! My mother-in-law mentioned making a bumper and I just hadn't looked into it yet. Maybe some outdated advice? Fitted sheets it is. Just anecdotal, but one of my nieces had a tendency to shove her head/face into the corner of her crib and it definitely looked like the bumpers could just suffocate a kid if they did that in their sleep.
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Dec 17, 2014 10:00
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Got the maternity-21 test results back today. Everything is great! And we're having a girl! 
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Dec 18, 2014 22:24
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Ishamael posted:Everything is great! And we're having a girl! Congratulations, on the good news, and on the girl! They're good starter babies - they don't shower you and themselves in pee with every diaper change 
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Dec 18, 2014 22:37
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Ishamael posted:Got the maternity-21 test results back today. Yay, congrats Ishmael! Now you can relax and enjoy the ride a little bit without having a few of the big "what-ifs" on your mind.  Since I wasn't considered "high risk", I was only offered the FirstScreen screening test instead of the more diagnostic one that determines gender. So, we'll have to wait a couple more weeks before we find out via ultrasound. But, just got back from a regular check up with my midwife, and all seems to be progressing well. 18 weeks along as of today! My husband came with and got to hear the heartbeat for the first time, so that was pretty cool. Looking forward to feeling some kicks soon!
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Dec 18, 2014 22:39
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So I've only made a few posts in here while I've been mostly lurking, but today I saw my boy at 21 weeks, the guy going the ultrasound was a bit hesitant on making a call on the sex till near the end when he shifted and put himself on full show for the camera. To add to the excitement we literally went across the street to the real estate agent to pick up the keys to our first house straight after finding out our boy is fit as a fiddle. Without a doubt, Best Christmas Ever.
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Dec 19, 2014 09:56
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Rudager posted:So I've only made a few posts in here while I've been mostly lurking, but today I saw my boy at 21 weeks, the guy going the ultrasound was a bit hesitant on making a call on the sex till near the end when he shifted and put himself on full show for the camera. Sounds pretty great, congratulations! And thanks everyone for the well-wishes. This will be the first girl on my wife's side of the family, so they went appropriately crazy at the news, it was really fun.
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Dec 19, 2014 14:56
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Rudager posted:So I've only made a few posts in here while I've been mostly lurking, but today I saw my boy at 21 weeks, the guy going the ultrasound was a bit hesitant on making a call on the sex till near the end when he shifted and put himself on full show for the camera. Congrats! We also bought our first house while pregnant (8 months!). If you have ANYTHING that needs doing to the house, have it done or do it before giving birth! Because your housework world is gonna come to a screechin' halt after that little awesome boy is born!
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Dec 19, 2014 15:44
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Hi guys. I'm 34.5 weeks and ... My water broke last night. I'm in the hospital, at least 5cm and with an epidural. I know nothing about preemies! It's my first baby and I'm in shock. My doula is at another birth. And it's my husbands birthday! Tips? Advice? Reassurance?
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Dec 19, 2014 19:57
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Eris posted:Hi guys. I'm 34.5 weeks and ... My water broke last night. I'm in the hospital, at least 5cm and with an epidural. I'm sorry I don't have any tips (still only at 23 weeks myself) but I hope everything goes well. My good friend had her baby on the last day of her 34th week and the baby went home the same time as she did (2 days). He was just a little small.
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Dec 19, 2014 20:11
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Eris posted:Hi guys. I'm 34.5 weeks and ... My water broke last night. I'm in the hospital, at least 5cm and with an epidural. Good luck! I am sure it will work out fine, 34-35 weeks isn't that premature from what I've heard. Good luck and keep us posted!
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Dec 19, 2014 20:39
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Eris posted:Hi guys. I'm 34.5 weeks and ... My water broke last night. I'm in the hospital, at least 5cm and with an epidural. Just breathe and relax. Premature delivery at nearly 35 weeks has a good prognosis. Baby might end up being observed in NICU for a few hours, but odds are good baby will room in with you and going home without issues. On the bright side, you probably won't tear!
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Dec 19, 2014 21:35
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Eris posted:Hi guys. I'm 34.5 weeks and ... My water broke last night. I'm in the hospital, at least 5cm and with an epidural. You can also ask if it'd be possible to speak with one of the nicu docs about what to expect.
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Dec 19, 2014 21:43
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Eris posted:Hi guys. I'm 34.5 weeks and ... My water broke last night. I'm in the hospital, at least 5cm and with an epidural. If you're planning on breastfeeding, get your support team (including an IBCLC) in place before you leave the hospital. As others said, your baby will probably be a little small and may go home with you, but preemies can have a tough time nursing because it requires a lot of work on the baby's side.
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Dec 19, 2014 21:47
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Thanks guys! She was born 3 hours ago and is in NICU. My husband is with her now finally. She's 4 lbs 4 oz. She seems to be doing okay. And not only did I tear (fun), she had to be vacuumed out. Which they said had no side effects except a red mark. Well apparently she has a giant cone head because of it and they think because all of the blood is in her head, her blood pressure and hemoglobin are low. So they're doing a transfusion. Also, she's too swollen to tell but she may have some fractures because despite my obese polish rear end looks like I can pull a pack mule, I have a tiny pelvis. I'm hoping tomorrow brings "oh, that was just temporary stuff" but ... Man, what a ride.
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Dec 20, 2014 04:11
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Eris posted:Thanks guys! She was born 3 hours ago and is in NICU. My husband is with her now finally. She's 4 lbs 4 oz. Congrats! Mine was 4lbs 3oz at 34 weeks! NICU is some scary poo poo, but they provide seriously amazing care. We're so lucky to be having our preemies now instead of 30 years ago.
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Dec 20, 2014 06:26
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My first was born right at 34 weeks. He was a decent size at 5 lbs 8 oz but 34 weeks meant an automatic stay in the NICU and he was there for 10 days. My second was born right at 35 weeks--he missed the mandatory NICU stay by 6 hours. He roomed with me and went home when I did. Even just 5 or 6 weeks of prematurity is not ideal, but they usually do pretty well unless there was some sort of extenuating circumstance. My sons did great and I was told that girls usually do even better. I found the newborn phase to effectively be doubled, but aside from that it was smooth sailing once we were all home together. It's not any fun going to and from the NICU to visit your baby, but we found the staff there to be incredible and reassuring. As skeetied said, it's important to get familiar with your lactation consultants if you plan on breastfeeding. I was told not to try breastfeeding for more than a few minutes at a time with both of mine and to switch to a bottle for the rest of each feeding. Since preemies have to work so hard and burn extra calories that they need in the process, it's a bit of a balancing act. I don't know if that's considered the rule of thumb everywhere, but it was not easy. Congratulations on your little one!
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Dec 20, 2014 08:09
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BonoMan posted:Congrats! We also bought our first house while pregnant (8 months!). Yeah, we were kinda hesitant, but we were already planning to buy around this time anyway and we ran all the numbers when we first found out and it works out we can live on my salary alone with a tiny bit leftover. To make it easier my wife works in the Australian public health care system as a registered nurse and gets pretty flexible arrangements when it comes to maternity leave. She's taking the 16 weeks paid parental leave at minimum wage ($650 or so a week?) from the government that every new mother/father (but only 1 of the 2) gets, and on top of that she gets another 6 months at her normal payrate through the hospital, but she's going to stretch it out to 9 months by taking it at 3/4 pay giving her a total of 12 months paid leave. BonoMan posted:If you have ANYTHING that needs doing to the house, have it done or do it before giving birth! Because your housework world is gonna come to a screechin' halt after that little awesome boy is born! Oh I've been organising that for weeks already now, managed to get everything booked in to be completed within the first 2 weeks of January, and we're taking the move slow over 3 weeks. Glad to hear about the premature's, she's pretty worried about it because we've been to 3 ultrasounds so far, 6, 12 and 20 weeks, and every time the estimated due date has come forward a week so she's got it in her head that he's growing fast and is coming early.
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Dec 20, 2014 10:04
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Honest question for those who had water birth, did the blood and afterbirth traumatize you from taking baths afterwards?
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Dec 23, 2014 04:30
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