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MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow
If blood on towels is a concern, use home towels to dry everywhere else, and hospital towels to dry the ladybits. Hospital towels are the worst. Or go buy some black towels.

edit \/\/\/ Yeah, those things are scratchy as hell. I didn't give birth vaginally, but drying my boobs with them was a nightmare. Buy a towel with irregular red splotches from Anthropologie or something.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN fucked around with this message at 19:46 on Jan 28, 2012

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MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow
By the time I was in maternity pants, none of them would stay up. I just wore them around my hips with long shirts. Maternity shirts worked great for this before I technically needed them, because they tend to be longer. I also wore a lot of skirts with elastic waists that could just sit wherever. I've heard good thing about the belly bands from plenty of women, too.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow
Yay, Aurora! She's darling.
Bleeding for me stopped after four weeks, then five weeks blood free before my first period. I miss not having periods, that was my favorite side effect of pregnancy.

Edit; If anyone is in the mood for some baby pictures, here's Gavin http://gavcav.tumblr.com/
He and Aurora are long-distance BFF's already.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow
If you're worried about people taking the news in a less-than-great manner, whenever you do tell them, just cut straight to the point. Hemming and hawing might make them nervous.

We sat my MIL down and Brandon the Babby-daddy/fiance was going "uhm, well... you see..." and I just went "I'm pregnant." Since Gavin was a surprise, we were still living in MIL's basement at the time, and Babbyfiance Brandon was between jobs. So we were nervous about telling her, felt irresponsible (even though Gavin was conceived several weeks after renewing my Depo shot) and we were kind of expecting her to freak out in some way. If she was going to freak, I wanted to get it over with.

Instead I got the first weird statement of what would become a long list of weird statements related to me being pregnant. "Oh, I kind of suspected, you've been extra pale lately." Uhh, okay? I'm very pale anyway, and it was February, and I'd been living in a basement for several months, but sure. Whatever.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow
I'm a big fan of Wrapsody wraps (http://www.wrapsodybaby.com/) They're very well-made. They're stretchy and breathable, whereas most wraps are one or the other. They're also long enough to do a number of different styles of wrapping, and can hold a toddler as easily as a baby. They all come with an instructional DVD, which was a godsend to me. Mimicking someone is much easier than trying to follow directions, when it comes to crossing this over that shoulder and tying this under the kid's butt, etc.

The biggest downsides are cost (mine was $79) and the wraps take a bit of time to learn.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow
Boidnorbabe, please don't be upset with yourself for pumping. I had my first kid in late November. First we had to give him formula at the hospital, because my milk took its sweet rear end time coming in. Then I had to pump. Then I had to switch to formula completely because of a medication I needed to go back on. I tore myself up about all of those things, even though I couldn't prevent them. Looking back, it caused a whole bunch of extra stress on top of the normal stress of recovering from a c-section and suddenly having an infant. Being a loving, caring mom who takes good care of her child is the most important thing, and it's easier to do that if you can keep your stress level relatively low. I've learned to selectively not give a gently caress.

Gavin had the same issues with waking up angry as hell and not latching well, persistence paid off in the end. And my hormones were out of whack for much longer than a week, it varies from person to person. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, to cry, to think "Oh god I can't do this what was I thinking ahhhh." It'll pass.

As far as packing for the hospital, make sure you have slightly more comfy clothes than you feel you could possibly need. I was planning on delivering vaginally, but ended up having a c-section, and I couldn't wear pajama bottoms comfortably. I had to do nightgowns the entire stay. Also, some people suggest taking something small to focus on during labor. I took a tiny little action figure the baby's father had gotten me. I spent hours fiddling with it, repositioning his hands and legs. It gave my nervous hands something to do. Also, towels are important if you don't like dishcloth sized scratchy hospital towels.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow
I was so nauseous that I had to take Zofran on and off for most of my pregnancy. I barely remember months 1.5 to 3 because I was in a nauseous haze. I rarely vomited, though. Around week 20 I started wishing I would vomit, because I knew I'd feel better.

I'm not trying to scare you or anything, just trying to point out that every woman's body reacts to pregnancy differently. Don't worry if you don't get nauseous, and don't worry if you're almost always nauseous.

edit My OB also said my height (5'2") possibly contributed to the nausea in later months. He said it definitely contributed to the heartburn. A baby elbowing your stomach out of the way sucks.

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MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow

ManifunkDestiny posted:

Hey all. So I'm going to be a father soon (6/2) and cannot wait to start this journey. However, a situation has come up that I would love to hear some feedback on.

My wife and I'd best friends, a married couple, just recently found out they were pregnant. Today they went in for their first doctor's appointment at 9 weeks and found out their child didn't have a heartbeat and probably died last week. Obviously they're pretty distressed. My question is, for anyone who has been on either side of this situation before, how should my wife and I offer support, with her very visibly (and healthfully, thank god) pregnant? The last thing we want to do is make it worse by being a reminder of sorts, yet we also don't want to leave our friends to have to deal with this alone. So what can we do? Also, for those who have suffered miscarriage, what kind of support helped you through such a loss? Any words or gestures that really helped you?

The most important thing to keep in mind is that a miscarriage at that stage isn't just the loss of a bunch of cells, to the people grieving. I'm sure you're in a better place to understand this, since you're going to be a dad soon. I had a miscarriage in 2009, and I noticed people just.. didn't see the big deal. It was just a sort-of baby, what was the fuss about? They didn't realize I was also mourning the loss of all the potential. Potential child, potential relationship with the child, etc. Please keep that in mind.

For me, it just took time. I spent a few months really hurting, about a year still hurting, but less and less every day, and in the years since, I occasionally remember and feel a little sad, or cry my eyes out, or something in between. I really didn't have much support. My father was apologetic and understanding, the rest of my family went all Protestant work ethic on me and flatly told me to get over it. Repeatedly. If they encounter anyone who does that, be there for them to rant to, and cry to, if necessary.

As far as your wife being obviously pregnant, I would just politely ask, at a good time, if either of them seeing her is an issue. If it is, there's always the phone, texting, maybe Skyping with the belly out of view. Just make sure they know you want to help in any way you can, and that you want to avoid causing more pain, no matter what that means. Just be open about it, make it obvious you understand this might be an issue, and communicate with them.

As the birth of your child gets close, you might want to politely ask how they want that situation handled. Definitely don't surprise bring over the baby, that's kind of rude regardless. It's likely that seeing and interacting with your child will help, eventually, but if they'd rather not meet him or her for a few months, don't be offended.
Good luck.

Killer_Frost, the lactation consultants are right there, and can see the baby and your breasts (don't be shy, they see boob all day long) so they'll be able to help you. Don't worry, babies not feeding 'properly' is very common. I'm glad that she's feeding, and getting the nutrition she needs, even if her technique needs work.

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