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Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


I allowed my brother in law to move in with me and my wife a few months ago, and it feels like a huge loving mistake.

For starters he has lived here for 5 months and has given us maybe $50 for bills, all while being a huge dick head about it. He agreed to pay half the rent and bills when he moved im. His problem is he has a job, and he makes $15 a hour being a contract employee for a computer company, but he works 12 hours a week. He keeps claiming that "his hours are going to pick up." but they actually haven't. He's actually not gone to work in 2 weeks because they simply don't have any.

He won't get up to find another job "because he has one." He sits home all day and plays call of duty and eats our food. All his money he does make goes towards a new car that he got last year. And overall he's a dick head and I hate him.

His father actually gave him $150 last week and he excitedly sent his sister a text message saying "I'm buying a kinect!" After pretty much forcing him to give us at least $50 for bills he reluctantly did with a sour face making sarcastic comments.

He recently bought a used Droid from his friend for a undisclosed sum. A few weeks later he got drunk and dropped it in a cup of sprite. We had several other phones he could use but he refused and recently I had the FedEx man bring a empty box to my house for him to mail his water damaged phone to them to get fixed. I know he had insurance on it, but once again its a undisclosed sum what he paid to get it fixed.

Hes dirty as gently caress. I have never once seen him clean anything in the house, he manages to get loving crumbs ALL OVER THE loving COUNTER TOP AND KOOL AID AND OTHER SURGER DRINKS GOD drat IT BLAFJDBNAKDJFBNSKLDFJBN. Which is, if you guessed a huge pet peeve of mine.

Now here is the problem, his sisters is too much of a pussy to tell him poo poo. She keeps saying " I told him, I told him" but he keeps doing the same poo poo. Shes a nice person and wants everyone to be happy.

I on the other hand, am about to blow my loving top. I go to school full time and work part time while his sister works full time and goes to school full time. I can barley control my anger when I come home at 3:30 after doing school and work and finding him asleep on the couch because he stayed up all night playing call of duty.

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APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT
Jul 22, 2005

you can prob fix that with a little duct tape and a paper clip

*is MacGyver irl*


Sorry your brother in law is a bum, you need to get on the same page with your wife and get a plan in place as to what to do. It's important that the two of you have a united front when you sit him down with what you've decided.

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT posted:

Sorry your brother in law is a bum, you need to get on the same page with your wife and get a plan in place as to what to do. It's important that the two of you have a united front when you sit him down with what you've decided.

Shes pretty much all open for what I have to say but I want to get the point across without being a dick.

Car Stranger
Feb 16, 2005



Whatever you do, it needs to end with kicking him out. If he was making a sincere effort it'd be a different matter but he's just taking advantage.

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


Car Stranger posted:

Whatever you do, it needs to end with kicking him out. If he was making a sincere effort it'd be a different matter but he's just taking advantage.

Do I need to give some kind of ultimatum? if rents not in by the end of this month your out type of thing?

Car Stranger
Feb 16, 2005



Dick Smegma posted:

Do I need to give some kind of ultimatum? if rents not in by the end of this month your out type of thing?
I don't have any personal experience with actually kicking people out so I wouldn't like to offer advice like that, but I'm sure someone who has will turn up soon.

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


I'm actually on the phone right now talking to ATT about blocking the ports that allow x box live. Hopefully we can get this poo poo done.

Edit: Could'nt do it. gently caress Me.

APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT
Jul 22, 2005

you can prob fix that with a little duct tape and a paper clip

*is MacGyver irl*


Dick Smegma posted:

Shes pretty much all open for what I have to say but I want to get the point across without being a dick.

I think that no matter how you do it, he'll act like you are being a huge unfair jerk or try to plead with you. My advice is decide on a plan that you and your wife can both 100% commit to, then sit him down and calmly (but very firmly) present your information. If he freaks out, don't let him draw you into a big argument or let him start nit-piking about something he did or didn't do. Just go back to your bottom line ie "it hasn't been working out, you need to make other arrangements by the end of next month", or "we need you to pull your share by paying us $$$ by X, if not, you'll need to move out by Y". Whatever you do, do not let him have any wiggle room, you have to mean business or he will continue to walk on you.

How old is this guy? He sounds really immature.

Morby
Sep 6, 2007

Double Trouble

IANAL, but couldn't he technically be considered a tenant at this point? If that's the case, he may need to have a full 30 days of notice before being kicked out. Consult a lawyer to find out.

Bad Bromance
May 20, 2010

Sorry, guys, I actually do still suck dick! Also my mom only lets me spend five bucks a month to get my cool gaga avatars back so I guess I'm stuck with this one for a while.

At least he's not a felon!

APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT
Jul 22, 2005

you can prob fix that with a little duct tape and a paper clip

*is MacGyver irl*


Morby posted:

IANAL, but couldn't he technically be considered a tenant at this point? If that's the case, he may need to have a full 30 days of notice before being kicked out. Consult a lawyer to find out.

It's possible, the OP will need to check tenant laws for his state. Either way, it's likely the guy won't handle it gracefully when he finds out the gravy train is kicking him to the curb.

Donner Party
May 9, 2010



Dick Smegma posted:

I'm actually on the phone right now talking to ATT about blocking the ports that allow x box live. Hopefully we can get this poo poo done.

Edit: Could'nt do it. gently caress Me.

This is passive aggressive crap. You just need to stand up to him, it's your home isn't it?

Morby
Sep 6, 2007

Double Trouble

Don't do any more passive-aggressive poo poo, OP. Trying to block Xbox Live is a dick move. Stand up to him and tell him what's up. If you really feel like you have to make a statement tonight (before consulting a lawyer, which you really should do), give him until May 10th to either pay up or get out. I picked the 10th just because it's a nice round number and clears the 30 day mark, but you can probably say May 6th, too. Make sure you let him know verbally AND in writing.

superv0zz
Jun 23, 2006

Touch it.

Dick Smegma posted:

I'm actually on the phone right now talking to ATT about blocking the ports that allow x box live. Hopefully we can get this poo poo done.

Edit: Could'nt do it. gently caress Me.

Yeah it's your house - don't be a bitch. He likely has rights with respect to tenancy but without paying rent who knows. I'm not sure if you were referring to your wife when you said 'his sister' but I suggest talking to her beforehand as you seem to be a one man army at this point and this poo poo is gonna bukkake all over your face if you're not careful.

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


actually I configured the router myself and blocked xbox live.

gently caress "being a dick" its my internet, I pay for it. He does not. I'm sick of being awoke at 4am screaming "mother fucker I shot you loving lag"

superv0zz
Jun 23, 2006

Touch it.

Dick Smegma posted:

actually I configured the router myself and blocked xbox life.

gently caress "being a dick" its my internet, I pay for it. He does not. I'm sick of being awoke at 4am screaming "mother fucker I shot you loving lag"

Don't worry, you're not 'being a dick', you're being a pussy bitch who won't stand up for yourself in your own home.

Congrats!

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


superv0zz posted:

Don't worry, you're not 'being a dick', you're being a pussy bitch who won't stand up for himself in your own home.

Congrats!

Actually I just let him know I blocked it and if he wants to play xbox live he can pay for the internet.

fembot
Jan 31, 2008

"She's a very sexy lady."


Dick Smegma posted:

Actually I just let him know I blocked it and if he wants to play xbox live he can pay for the internet.

Well, what did he say?

xov
Nov 14, 2005

DNA Ts. Rednum or F. Raf


APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT posted:

I think that no matter how you do it, he'll act like you are being a huge unfair jerk or try to plead with you. My advice is decide on a plan that you and your wife can both 100% commit to, then sit him down and calmly (but very firmly) present your information. If he freaks out, don't let him draw you into a big argument or let him start nit-piking about something he did or didn't do. Just go back to your bottom line ie "it hasn't been working out, you need to make other arrangements by the end of next month", or "we need you to pull your share by paying us $$$ by X, if not, you'll need to move out by Y". Whatever you do, do not let him have any wiggle room, you have to mean business or he will continue to walk on you.

How old is this guy? He sounds really immature.

All of this.

Also, do you rent or own? The laws vary wildly depending on which state you're in. I am pretty sure no state will force you to keep someone there against your own will if their name is not on the lease as a tenant, NOT an occupant, which is something completely different.

Morby
Sep 6, 2007

Double Trouble

Dick Smegma posted:

actually I configured the router myself and blocked xbox live.

gently caress "being a dick" its my internet, I pay for it. He does not. I'm sick of being awoke at 4am screaming "mother fucker I shot you loving lag"

There's a difference between:

"Look, brother-in-law, I've got to talk to you. We're having a problem. You don't pay rent, you don't pay bills, you wake me up at night with your yelling over Xbox Live. I'm cutting off your access to it. If you want it back, start paying bills or get out (by May 10th)."

And:

*cuts off Xbox Live without saying anything at all*

Edit: Oh, I see you've spoken to him about it. Carry on!

Car Stranger
Feb 16, 2005



I dunno I'd say cutting off XBL because you get woken up at 4am by a manchild screaming at video game when you have to go to work in a few hours is a decent stopgap 'til you can resolve the wider problem.

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


He pretty much blew up and told me I couldn't do that and blah blah blah.

I asked him who's name the internet was under and told him if he wanted he could start paying bills.

Slowpoke!
Feb 12, 2008

ANIME IS FOR ADULTS


Why don't you just tell him that you want him to get out. No ultimatum. Just tell him that you will allot him the minimum amount of time legally obligated to him by your state's tenants laws, and that if you have to involve the police to legally evict him, you will.

Probably should run that by your wife first.

Alternatively, since it's your wife's brother, maybe you should have her ask him nicely the first time that he needs to be out by x date (x date being the earliest you can legally evict him if you start the process tomorrow).

CadavericSpasm
Nov 5, 2009


Give him an ultimatum - either man up, get a new job and pay the rent you both originally agreed to, or kick him out. My boyfriend and I went through this bullshit after my sister moved in and leached off of us for six months. I acted the same passive way your wife is now and it's not doing anyone any good despite honest intentions of trying to keep the peace.

Definitely look into landlord-tenant laws in your area. We found out that as long as the owner lives in the same house as the tenant, the Tenant's Act is not enforced.

RalAegidius
Nov 12, 2004

It's a crow. In a box.

Dick Smegma posted:

gently caress "being a dick" its my internet, I pay for it. He does not. I'm sick of being awoke at 4am screaming "mother fucker I shot you loving lag"

I would have agreed with you doing this anyway, but if he's disrupting your sleep with that bullshit, that's cause for immediate action.

LOL he actually said "You can't do that" to you? What a giant baby. If tenancy laws make it okay for you to just pick a date and kick him out, then you need to do that. There's no way to do it and "not look like a dick". He's going to paint you as evil incarnate no matter how you break the news to him. Besides, why do you care how you look to assholes? Reasonable people will understand.

hypocrite lecteur
Aug 21, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Sorry you're a passive stupid pussy and can't talk to someone close to you in a position you have a huge amount of power over him in.


Dick Smegma posted:

I'm actually on the phone right now talking to ATT about blocking the ports that allow x box live. Hopefully we can get this poo poo done.

Edit: Could'nt do it. gently caress Me.

You're a literal loving infant. How do you type with your rattle and soother in your hands

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


hypocrite lecteur posted:

Sorry you're a passive stupid pussy and can't talk to someone close to you in a position you have a huge amount of power over him in.


You're a literal loving infant. How do you type with your rattle and soother in your hands

Someone got kicked out of their siblings house for being unable to pay rent. I explained to him right after I shut off the internet why I was shutting it off. Sorry the gravy train is over bro.

I'm going to give it 10 days. If he does not make an attempt to try to at least pay some bills I am going to let him know its time to go and he has 20 days to get out or pay rent.

Edit. Are you my brother in law?

hypocrite lecteur
Aug 21, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Dick Smegma posted:

Someone got kicked out of their siblings house for being unable to pay rent.

Hey look who's clever, if only you had enough sack to be that sassy with your brother in law in person and to his face, you wouldn't have him running all over you in your own house doing whatever he likes. Keep posting about it to the internet and telling the guy at the call center at your telco though champ, I'm sure someone else will solve your problems for you eventually. Maybe your wife will eventually get tired of it and handle it for you.

hypocrite lecteur
Aug 21, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


A bloo bloo bloo I'm mad and can't handle my problems, internet tell me what to do


Dick Smegma posted:

I'm going to give it 10 days. If he does not make an attempt to try to at least pay some bills I am going to let him know its time to go and he has 20 days to get out or pay rent.

I'M GONNA HANDLE THIS THING I'M FURIOUS ABOUT TOMORROW. YEAH YOU HEARD ME. TWO WEEKS FROM NOW, HE'S GONNA GET IT

you're a biiiiiiiiiiitch

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


hypocrite lecteur posted:

A bloo bloo bloo I'm mad and can't handle my problems, internet tell me what to do


I'M GONNA HANDLE THIS THING I'M FURIOUS ABOUT TOMORROW. YEAH YOU HEARD ME. TWO WEEKS FROM NOW, HE'S GONNA GET IT

you're a biiiiiiiiiiitch

Dude just pay half the loving rent and we won't have any more problems. I will turn XBL back on so your can yell "loving newbie fag" at the top of your lungs until 5 am.

hypocrite lecteur
Aug 21, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Keep practicing being tough on an internet message board and it will eventually happen dreams come true little guy you just keep sluggin!

Dick Smegma
Oct 12, 2010

by T. Couchfucker


hypocrite lecteur posted:

Keep practicing being tough on an internet message board and it will eventually happen dreams come true little guy you just keep sluggin!

I'm tired of you forgetting your wallet when we go out to eat, or saying "wow I wish I could go out to eat" when you see us getting ready to go out, thus forcing your nice sister to feel sorry and take you. I'm a college kid with a part time job bro, I don't have a lot of money.

Darth123123
Jan 26, 2006



How many E/N threads have you been the OP in the last month or two? Wow you gots some issues boy.

e: sorry it wasnt you but your name rings a bell.

fembot
Jan 31, 2008

"She's a very sexy lady."


Is this really your brother in law what is going on here

ANMAN
May 24, 2007
ehhh...meh

Never bring in someone if you are the last rung on the ladder. They are at the bottom run for a reason and the only out is working their way up (extremely unlikely) or go completely rock bottom.


My friend had luck kicking out a an rear end in a top hat friend by speaking to him directly like several times and it still took a while (the guy moved back in with his mom).


If you want to treat him like a kid, just tell him he's only in the house whenever you are. If he bitches, tell him to go gently caress himself or some chick he can move in with.

hypocrite lecteur
Aug 21, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


No he's just an idiot child who is deflecting from the fact he's a chump with "funny" jokes. It's literally on the level of "I'M RUBBER YOUR GLUE HAHA"

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Neil Patrick Harris
Dec 29, 2008

Can't rest on your laurels now - not when you've got none.

This thread is bad and you should both feel bad hypocrite and op

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