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Cowslips Warren posted:I got bullied on and off in middle school by girls who had been my friends, amazingly enough, just a few years prior. I have no idea what set it off, but whispers and laughs of 'she's a lesbian!' which was at the time the worst thing anyone could call you, became common. Another What the Christ moment for me, regarding "OMG LESBIAN!": While in High School, I helped get the Gay-Straight Alliance started, and was President of the club for like three years running. I was also dating a guy at the time, the son of our only AP Calculus teacher. It was kind of a high-profile relationship because of that, everyone knew, and to this day, half the people who remember me from high school remember me because I was dating the calc teacher's 6'4" son. So, as he's walking me to Drama one day after Break, this girl comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder.  I heard you been tellin' people we been havin' lesbian sex. Hi. Who are you? [girl's name that I had never heard before] told me that you been tellin' people that you and me been havin' lesbian sex. I don't know who you are. YOU BEST QUIT TELLIN' PEOPLE THAT WE BE HAVIN' LESBIAN SEX. I do not know who you are. I do not know what your name is. I have literally never seen you before. Who the gently caress's been saying that I'm spreading rumors that we're loving? [girl's name again]. Well, you need to tell her to quit fuckin' lying, because I can't be telling people that we're loving if I have no idea who you are or what your name is, hon. If she keeps it up, do what you gotta do. Just know that I'm not running my mouth like that. Aight.And then she just walked off!  Malachite_Dragon posted:Same. He ranks somewhere between He was really sweet to me for the rest of the school year. Kept me abreast of all the lowdown, dirty goings-on within his little clique, like why the head cheerleader didn't show up in our Government class for two weeks. (She and a friend showed up to Prom drunk. The friend was stumbling around and poo poo and puked on the dance floor. The cheerleader's car was searched, they didn't catch the booze in the spare tire compartment, the cheerleader breathalyzed clean, and they sent them home. Cheerleader started drinking, got caught at a checkpoint, and got her car impounded and she got put in juvie for those two weeks. Plus, she broke the lock on her parents liquor cabinet to get the booze. Needless to say, she did not walk at graduation and was lucky to get her diploma at all.) On top of silly poo poo like that, he got his jock buddies to protect me. This rear end in a top hat called David was pretty universally hated, and he had hosed with me for most of high school: pulling my chair out from under me as I sat down, writing "fat" (which I wasn't... I was a size 7 in freshman year when he did that) on my backpack in Sharpie, writing all sorts of slurs regarding my sexual orientation on my textbooks and papers being handed back, stupid poo poo. He hosed with pretty much any girl who had a nice rack or a nice rear end who told him to gently caress off the moment he started leering, and he had quite a few sexual harassment complaints lodged against him in the office. Not a nice guy. Well, I was talking to another friend in Government about it, and Bubba overheard it. The next day, there was a morning announcement about hazing being unacceptable, and anyone caught hazing would be suspended, and if they were seniors, lose the privledge of walking at the graduation ceremony. Turns out, Bubba had convinced the jocks that David's treatment of me was some bullshit, so they grabbed him as he left his class, chucked him in the pool, yanked him back out, and threw him into the dumpsters outside the cafeteria (full of week-old leftover cafeteria food too, mind you). Every time he got out, they'd throw him back in. He was apparently told to quit messing with me in a way that wouldn't get me in any trouble for the hazing, and he left me alone after that. He was eventually expelled from our school district for jamming his hand into a water polo girl's swimsuit and grabbing her tits. Bad idea, considering how muscular water polo girls are: she broke his loving wrist and kicked him in the balls so hard he dropped and couldn't get back up. Not that I agree with the methods, but Bubba wasn't a big dude... he was maybe an inch or two taller than me, and I'm only 5'3". I guess it was the only way he could think of to protect me from this rear end in a top hat... and as I was single by senior year, it was kind of sweet to be protected. 
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Sep 28, 2011 10:02
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I don't generally condone violence but that water polo girl gave David what he was asking for. Even as a stupid high schooler, who the gently caress thinks they can get away with poo poo like that?  Please please please tell me that she was not punished in any way.
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Sep 28, 2011 10:19
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This was more of a WTC moment for my teacher rather than me. In Biology, my class was dicing up liver so we could dump it in hydrochloric acid or something and see what happens. Teacher leaves the room to speak to some guy in the office and he's gone for like half an hour (this was a two hour session); LIVER FIGHT :iamafag: Cleaning up wasn't as fun though.
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Sep 28, 2011 10:36
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ok... i'm just going to bang out this story real fast. There will probably be some grammar and spelling errors, so bare with me. It was one of the times I went to the Memphis in May music festival. I used to go every year in middle school and high school. It was fun as hell, actually. But, there were some interesting aspects of it. This was maybe back in... 2001 or 2002. It was me and 3 other friends. We'll call these friends Tommy, Stephen, and John. We were around 16 or so at the time. We were all wearing shorts with cargo pockets, which aided in the smuggling of contraban into the festival. John's dad dropped us off in down town Memphis. We each had 2 Sobe bottles full of vodka. While figuring out where we were gonna go, Tommy dropped one of the bottles on the ground. It shattered and vodka went everywhere. There happened to be two police officers right beside us. They started telling us to pick up the broken glass, etc. Then they smelled the vodka, and asked if we had been drinking. We took off running into a big group of people and thankfully lost them. We all ended up losing each other in the crowd, but we met back up, and to our surprise, Tommy had managed to buy a gram of hash off some guy. "Let's go smoke." We hid behind some abandoned building somewhere near the river. As the pipe was being passed around, we saw that these wooden pallets next to us started moving. "What the gently caress?!" we all said. Out appeared this homeless guy. "I knew I smelled somethin' sweet! Mind if I take a hit?" Sure... Why not? We ended up smoking a few bowls with this guy. His name was Glen White. He was an older fella' who, so he said, stole guns for a living. We gave him some shots of vodka too. He definitely enjoyed the vodka. He started following us around in an attempt, so he said, to attract all the fine honeys. We went to the hill where all the hippies were selling homemade vodka and alcohol, and bought Mr. White a jar of vodka so he could get wasted with us. We started walking around more. Tommy and I found these 2 guys tripping on mushrooms. We ended up buying an ounce from this guy and started chatting about various stuff. Suddenly, one of the guys we were talking to started having a seizure and convulsing and poo poo on the ground. We were just like "WTF!" We left the scene pretty quickly. We were, still, walking around when this random old guy yells out, "Where are the under aged drinkers?!" We piped up, "Right here!" This guy gave us a 20oz coke bottle full of Southern Comfort and tells us to have fun. Mr. White jumped with joy. Luckily for us, mixers were free. This was around the time when Sierra Mist got big. So, the Sierra Mist Company (whatever they are) was promoting Sierra Mist by parking a big Sierra Mist pick-up truck on the side of the street, filling the bed of the truck with ice, and stocking the bed FULL of Sierra Mist. And it was all free. We stayed at this truck for what seemed an hour, taking shots of vodka and SoCo, and chasing it with Sierra Mist. Glen White needed no mixers. We went back to the hill where all the hippies congregate. There were two guys using two, 5 gallon buckets as drums and pounding the beats out. There were also 2 hardcore Christian enthusiasts there. One was holding a big sign with all this Jesus poo poo on it and the other was yelling stuff out in a megaphone. For some reason, we all started dancing to the drum beats around these two guys... sort of like some ritual tribal dance crap. This, in turn, started some kind of dance frenzy and soon there were at least 30 people dancing all around these two guys. I remember the guy with the megaphone yelling incessantly, "LOOK AT YOU SINNERS! YOU DRUNKEN SINNERS! YOUR SINS HURT THE LORD! LOOK AT YOU SINNERS!" I laughed my rear end off, being completely hosed up, dancing in the most chaotic fashion. It was absolutely ridiculous. After thoroughly intoxicating ourselves, we decided it was a good time to eat the shrooms. I don't know how much I ate, but it was a lot. We had an extra ticket for that day because one of our other friends who was suppose to go with us couldn't (he got busted at school with all the other alcohol that we were suppose to have for the festival). Mr. White got a free pass inside. Inside, we were tripping balls. It was insane. I honestly don't remember much of the music, but I do remember one thing in particular. It had started raining a bit, so we had put on ponchos. Well at one of the shows... this girl just straight up puked all over me. Luckily, I had my poncho on, so it didn’t really get onto my clothes or anything, but I just snapped. I gave this girl the most absurd cursing she's probably ever gotten in her life (sorry girl I didn't mean it!). Glen White giggled like a little school girl, pointed and laughed. This girl was apparently drunk as gently caress. She offers to suck my dick in order to make up for her mistake. I told her to gently caress off. But Glen White whipped out his dick right in the middle of the show and started pissing... everywhere. You could see the loving crowd just scram like roaches that have just been exposed to light. He just laughed and pissed in an insane, yet innocent manner. The girl must have taken this as a sign for "I want my dick sucked" and she grabbed his dick and went to town. By this point, my 3 friends and I broke out into uncontrollable laughter and could not stop laughing. Literally could not stop. I took my poncho off (because it's covered in puke debris) and hurled it into the crowd in front of us. The poncho sailed through the air like a casting net. However, the prey weren't fish, but some girl who was about 10ft. away in front of me. It landed on her and it immediately stuck to her. She turned around with this look of horror on her face as vomit had become entangled in her hair. We all just started laughing even harder... Everyone did for that matter at the circus show that was going on. I started laughing so hard that it hurt and I was crying uncontrollably. Reminder, we were all still tripping balls. Mr. White pulls out the coke bottle of Southern Comfort and takes a big swig of it, burps, and then dumps some on the girl’s face who is sucking his dick. Some of the alcohol got into her eyes and she started screaming. Glen White takes it upon himself to exacerbate the situation by slapping the girl in the face with his cock. I don't think I've ever laughed so loving much. I'm not really sure what happened to the girl. This is just the beginning of Mr. White's wild mayhem. There was a guy on top of a trash can (one of those big ones with wheels), watching the concert going on. He was short, so it made sense to stand on top of a large object in order to get a better view. Well... After putting his penis back into his pants, Glen walked over to where this guy is and kicked the trash can out from under this guy and the guy face planted into the muddy ground. This only fueled the laughter more. The guy got up, pissed as hell, and asked for the person who did it. Laughing our asses off right into his face, we blamed it on this Abercrombie kid with his girlfriend. This little, muddy koala of a guy jumped onto the back of this guy and started beating the gently caress out of him. Glen White is kicking mud into the two guys' faces as they wrestle on the ground. He then took another big swig of the SoCo, burped, took another swig, and then puked all over the Abercrombie guy's girlfriend. Straight up projectile vomit all over this girl. Hits her right in the crotch area and just loving explodes. She started screaming and freaking out while we're just standing there like blubbering fools. We decided to go to another stage to see what was up. While walking to the stage, my friend Stephen said that he lost his wallet and we need to walk back and try to find it. No big deal. Stephen pulled out some tobacco and rolled himself a cigarette. After doing so, Stephen lead the charge for finding his wallet. All of a sudden, these cops come out and grabbed Stephen's cigarette and throw him on the ground. They're like "WTF?! Why are you smoking a joint?!" Let me remind you that we're tripping balls at this time. Stephen was just like "what?! WTF is going on? It's a cigarette man! I roll my own cigarettes!!!" After inspecting the cigarette and realizing it wasn't a joint they began asking him for his ID. He explained he had just lost his wallet, etc. They didn’t want to hear that. No ID? No problem. You're getting searched! They searched him and found roughly a quarter (7grams) of just schwag weed on him. They began cussing him out and dicking him around about how that's illegal and "that skunk weed aint no good. You gotta get'cha some of dem nugs, boy. Don't come back to my state without identification!" Then they turned to us. Luckily, while they were hackling Stephen, we all hid our contraband behind the trash can that was close to us. They ended up searching us too, but found nothing, etc. All is well, etc. But then... Good Ol' Mr. Glen White decided he had to poo poo and he had to poo poo now. He just dropped his pants and started making GBS threads... Right there in front of the police. Just started making GBS threads. We all just kind of stood there in awe... but then you knew it... we just started cracking up and laughing so drat much. The 2 cops pounced on his rear end and arrested him, etc. We put our poo poo back in our pockets and disappeared. After this point, I got too drunk to remember much else...
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Sep 28, 2011 12:07
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Pyrotoad posted:This was more of a WTC moment for my teacher rather than me. Someone threw cow's lungs at the ceiling in one of our science classes. I missed it, but there was this outline of lungs on the ceiling until I left. It's probably still there.
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Sep 28, 2011 12:18
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Agro ver Haus doom posted:What the hell, man. Part of me hopes you made it all up, part of me hopes that every little thing you wrote is God's honest 100% certified truth.
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Sep 28, 2011 13:14
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Earned your username, I'd say Aw so sad, I would have beat the everloving poo poo out of you and then stomped on all of your books and snapped your pencils in half. Then it would get crazy... Yesterday after work I had to run back in to grab my phone and as I get to the doors I hear a little kid voice out of the parking lot somewhere. 'Hey lady with the purple shirt!' 'yeah?' 'yooooouuuuuu smell!' And I laughed too hard to have a good comeback and still can't think of anything. I salute you future delinquent. McBeth has a new favorite as of 18:29 on Sep 28, 2011 |
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Sep 28, 2011 18:23
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I don't have any tales about being bullied. I got teased plenty for being a fatty fat fat
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Two bits of background here. One, my father is a Flemish nationalist. He believes the Dutch speaking region of Belgium should gain independence. Two, my father is a racist. A big, big racist. He believes all brown people are terrorists and all blacks are gangsters. Also, he thinks hitler should have won world war 2 and calls the holocaust a Zionist propaganda device. However, he is very pro-palestine, and supported Yasser Arafat dogmatically. When I was nine, he dressed me up as Arafat by putting a tea towel on my head. The major what the christ moment, however, came when I was 16 and by this point ardently disgusted by his mentality. I asked, if he hates Muslims so much, why does he support Palestine so zealously. His response was thus: "As a nationalist, I support all nationalist struggles. The Palestinians have it almost as bad as Flemings do." WHAT THE loving CHRIST?!
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Sep 28, 2011 18:35
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Cup of Hemlock posted:The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Post Your Favorite (or Request) > Post Your Moments of Being a Total Badass Well one time I was eating lunch at school and as I was about to bite into my giant dagwood, a bully came and yanked all of the meat and cheese out and I only got a bite of bread! So I blew my fist up like a balloon, wound my arm back, then WHAMMO! I socked that bum to the moon!
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Sep 28, 2011 18:43
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Experto Crede posted:
Well gently caress me I didn't know Flanders was getting bombed with white phosphorous.
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Sep 28, 2011 19:30
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Experto Crede posted:"As a nationalist, I support all nationalist struggles. The Palestinians have it almost as bad as Flemings do." Sounds like your dad is a member of Nieuw-Solidaristisch Alternatief.
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Sep 28, 2011 19:45
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Jeoh posted:Sounds like your dad is a member of Nieuw-Solidaristisch Alternatief. Nope, aside from rhetoric, he is very self-centered. He has been a member of vlaams belang since the days of the volks unie, ran for the senate for vlaams blok, supports TAK, laments the end of the VMO and apparently Filip Dewinter was at my christening. Oh, and I should point out, my dad almost named me Adolf, which my mother put a stop to, fortunately.
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Sep 28, 2011 20:37
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fork bomb posted:I don't generally condone violence but that water polo girl gave David what he was asking for. Even as a stupid high schooler, who the gently caress thinks they can get away with poo poo like that? Nope. Lizzie was one of my friends, not close really, but we had Drama together and she was often my partner for scenes we had to act out in class. She took Drama because we were required to take a certain amount of electives, and she was a good enough actress that I convinced her to audition for a few plays with me, and so we did a few school plays together. Really, really nice girl, very sweet, sort of shy at first, but the plays worked that out of her somewhat. She was pretty tall, about 5'9" or 5'10", and because of water polo and diving, she had a fuckton of muscle. She snapped David's wrist like a loving twig, and I'm amazed he didn't have any permanent damage from that ball kick. Lizzie pretty much just called off with self-defense, and many of the teachers and her coaches vouched for her. They even asked a couple of her more school-prominent friends, including me, and we all vouched that she was a sweet, somewhat quiet girl that wouldn't hurt a fly unless she was extremely provoked. She got off scot-free. In retrospect, it was kind of stupid that they took the word of any of us students, despite how many clubs we ran or how many volunteer hours we had netted, or how many years we had been in Peer Counseling or Leadership. We all loving despised David, and we would have said just about goddamn anything to rake him over the coals. Probably would have said he killed my dog if it meant he got to cool his heels in jail for a night or two, and I'd bet you half the student body would have done the same.
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Sep 28, 2011 21:00
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Is it bad that I sometimes kind of wish somebody had tried bullying me so that I too could have a badass bully-beatin' story? I apparently blended right into my high school and was more or less friends with people from most of the social strata despite being a pretty huge nerd. It might have had to do with it being a private school and bullying could get complicated when there are only 100 people in your grade, but if it happened to me I was oblivious to it. However, there was a pretty funny time in 8th grade when a friend of mine gone into a fight. The backstory to this is that my friend had sort of a reputation for being strong. He wasn't, really, but he was a hefty guy and we both threw shotput/discus so maybe that's where the idea came from. The other dude was one of the few black guys in our class and I think he felt like he had to play it up as a result. It's not like he went around being as stereotypically black as he could, but I got the impression that he did a lot of things because he thought people expected him to. Anyway, for weeks these two had been getting in arguments about whatever stupid poo poo middle schoolers argue about, so we were all waiting for the boiling point. Finally, one day after English, poo poo got real. The teacher had left the room already so it was just a handful of us spectators and the two of them. They were in each others' faces yelling about whatever it was they had gotten pissed about this time when finally my friend shoved the other guy. What followed was the greatest thing I had ever seen. They started slapping the poo poo out of each other. Neither one of them knew a goddamn thing about fighting. It was all flailing and cursing and lasted about a minute before another teacher passed by and said "  ...what the hell is going on in here." They quickly separated and stalked off in different directions while I stayed and busted a gut with a confused teacher who just shrugged and continued on.
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Sep 28, 2011 21:36
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I have just had to recall what is no doubt the most what the christ moment of my life. You all shall have to suffer in part as I did. About two years ago, late one night, I go to brush my teeth. My dad was in the bathroom a few minutes before me. Upon turning the tap I feel something sticky on it. I won't beat around the bush, it was semen. My dad's semen. My dad's cold, post-wank semen. loving hell!
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Sep 28, 2011 23:14
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I hope none of it got on your toothbrush. If anyone needs me in the next 20 minutes or so, I'll be outside vomiting in the bushes.
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Sep 28, 2011 23:41
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Drimble Wedge posted:I hope none of it got on your toothbrush. If anyone needs me in the next 20 minutes or so, I'll be outside vomiting in the bushes. For even more fun, this fine specimen of a man is my father: 
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Sep 29, 2011 00:11
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Your dad looks like Vernon Dursley.
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Sep 29, 2011 02:53
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Holy poo poo, it's uncanny
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Sep 29, 2011 03:05
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Yesterday at work one of our regular customers gave me a basket of half-used bath supplies because 'Jesus loves me'. Threw out the used ones, kept the good stuff.
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Sep 29, 2011 04:12
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Sharks Below posted:Your dad looks like Vernon Dursley. ... Son of a Bitch I have never noticed that. And now it will never leave my head.
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Sep 29, 2011 07:06
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All the talk of goings-on at school reminds me of A Thing. One year in highschool a science teacher had a psychotic break in the middle of class. He initially started going through the same six or seven minutes of lecture material multiple times, to the point that he had three identical columns of talking points on the board, right next to one-another. As he descended into madness he picked up a stapler, opened it like a mobile phone, and proceeded to have a conversation with an imaginary "Susan" on it. I spoke to the girl next to me and she went to the principle's office to have the teacher sent home. We had a substitute for the rest of the year and the old teacher did eventually get psychotherapy which improved his condition.
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Sep 29, 2011 07:49
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Experto Crede posted:For even more fun, this fine specimen of a man is my father: Haha. Hope you're already out of that house. Your story reminds me of my own WTC family story. My own (late) grandmother was a Flemish nationalist as well, started out moderate in the '70s and progressively got more and more right wing. At one point, my mom was having an argument with her over politics: Mom: "But mom, you know that Vlaams Belang is basically a neo-nazi party, right?" Grandma: "Really now?" Mom: "You actually lived through World War II! Do you want it to be like that again? Do you want people to get sent to death camps?" Grandma: "Yeah that was bad but I mean they were just Jews after all." Yeah, pretty WTC.
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Sep 29, 2011 12:01
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This troper took a few levels when, after years of being a Woobie so pitiful Shinji would say what the heck is wrong with you, I had enough of a girl I liked always going for this tall, blond guy. When they were talking right in front of me in the street and holding arms and talking and all that, I said, "Shut. The. Hell. Up." The boy looks around and walks over, trying to look menacing. Martial arts studies come in. I take a punch to the forehead and then slide under and punch him in the stomach, he goes backwards and I land another one to his face. I then go berserk and full body tackle him. He managed to crawl away, and say, "That kid...is inhuman!"
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Sep 29, 2011 12:45
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Background: One morning I woke up, yawned a bit toooo big and locked my jaw up. you know how your jaw "clicks" open then "clicks" closed? well mine decided not to close and remain open stretching my muscles. All the while i'm getting a barrage of txt's from a friend asking if his boyfriend could get a ride to work. So lo behold i'm driving around the city mouth agape. afterwords, we head to the hospital. I get knocked out, they fix my jaw. I ended up driving home, smoking a couple of bowls with him, selling a couple of grams, driving around more.(Hey it's a business. when they call, I come.) But the true WTC moment is when he ask's if his mom could buy weed off of me. Hes about 45 years old. His mother is about 70 years old. so I get to the mothers house. park, have a nice conversation with her. then apparently a bunch of the surrounding neighbors slam on her door. demanding to know who parked their car in front of the driveway. Cue about 6 drunken old men pulling me out to the yard screaming: Drunken old men: SHES loving 90 YEARS OLD, WHAT IF SHE DIED THEY COULDNT GET THE AMBULANCE IN HER DRIVEWAY DOM: YOU PEICE OF poo poo, SHES FRAGILE. WHAT THE gently caress WERE YOU THINKING, YOU DUMBASS WE HAD TO MOVE YOUR CAR FOR YOU. Old fragile lady: *Waving cane* *scuttling out of her house* MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BOY. I AM 90 YEARS OLD SOMETHING COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ME. Apparently they swung the back side of my car, so it didnt cover the neighbors driveway anymore, however it covered and blocked the street. looking like this. M Y C A R DOM: WHAT THE gently caress DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF? Me: I just came from the hospital, I was here for 10 minutes. Goodbye. I vaguely remember any of this. Weed + whatever they knock me out with. I couldn't comprehend what was going on and left. At the time, It was a true WTC moment. Later when I recompiled my memories from said friend. I truly did feel like a jackass. and irresponsible for driving while under the influence EDIT: according to said friend, I parked maybe about a foot into her driveway and they were super drunk. at 2pm.
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Sep 29, 2011 14:23
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Pyrotoad posted:This was more of a WTC moment for my teacher rather than me. This reminded me of something that is probably pretty WTC thinking back on it, and it most certainly was for the girls who were watching. We were dissecting pigs' hearts in Biology one time a few years back, checking out the system for pumping the blood and all that. While the teacher was busy doing something else, one of my male friends noticed that with the cut down the side of the heart, he was able to fit his hand into it. So what do we do? Pigs Heart Puppet Show, of course. We got called gross by the others for not wearing rubber gloves before sticking our hands inside the hearts. But what harm can a bit of old blood and muscle do? V  V
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Sep 29, 2011 16:19
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Congratulations, you've got Pig AIDS now.
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Sep 29, 2011 16:54
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I can contribute! I'm just back from visiting my parents in Belgium and they had an interesting story for me. I guess almost every neighbourhood has 'that' family, in a street of normal, middle class houses there is one house where the windows haven't been washed for a decade, the gras is as high as a toddler and the curtains are yellow when their original colour was white. As far as I know the people that lived there had split up and the woman was still living in the house after her ex-husband moved out. The house was still owned by the husband though and after his children had moved out he wanted to sell it. However his wife refused to leave for the longest time, so he has to get the police involved, she is given a deadline for when to leave, etc etc. So after she has finally left the man goes to inspect the house, I imagine with some trepidation, because it was starting to look pretty filthy from the outside. There is a very strong smell in the house, and it seems to come from the cellar. What he smells/sees when he opens the cellar door I can only guess at, but shortly thereafter a disinfection unit (people in white bodysuits, gloves, masks etc enter the house and pretty much spend the entire day there. His exwife, upon receiving the deadline for leaving the house, had gone into the cellar and calmly disconnected the pipe that leads from the toilet into the sewer. Then she had continue to live in the house (and use the toilet) for possible up to 2 months as if nothing was wrong.
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Sep 29, 2011 18:15
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So in my highschool chemistry class the teacher liked to split up friend pairs for lab partners, because otherwise we'd have groups that never did anything. We were all on long benches, the glossy blackish kind that are basically fireproof and resistant to acids. On the end of my table she pairs up a struggling girl (I-just-don't-get-chemistry) with a teacher's-favorite nerd. Every class they're always whispering on their end of the table - he's constantly explaining things out to her while the teacher talks, being a nerd and way too excited about the material . . . but I notice something else. Every day he starts a new sheet of notes, checks his watch to put the date at the top, and then asks her what month it is. The first three days of class in a row. I think it was three. The third day, she leans over and says "it says right there, september". He says "no it says 9". "How do you know it's the ninth month then?" "I check my watch." "Well why don't you just write september then?" "I don't know what month nine is." She just stared at him for a moment, clearly wondering what the christ why is she asking him questions about chemistry. Then she smiles and says "well then there's something I can teach you!" So, over the next week, she brings in flashcards and quizzes him every day for about a minute when they are done with their labwork, which they finish early. Then she gives him a final paper quiz a week later, in class, like there's no one else around. That boy was me.
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Sep 29, 2011 19:27
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I've had a pretty normal life, nothing too beside getting a pencil jammed between my toes.
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Sep 29, 2011 20:45
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I've had a relatively normal life too compared to some people I know. I used to do a LOT of horseriding, basically all my spare time was taken up with it from age 6 to 16 including working on cattle stations in my holidays in high school as a jillaroo. I was taking a family of Americans on a trail ride around some pretty awesome terrain on a cattle station once and we had stopped in a shallow creek bed (about a foot and a half of water) for the horses to have a drink. I'm chatting away with the family, telling them about the history of the land, what the different flora/fauna is, what kind of cattle are raised on the property etc and suddenly, something feels weird. Now, normally horses give you a bit of warning ("dig" with a hoof in the creek bed, drop a shoulder down) before they roll so you can pull their heads up and move on before they go down. Not this horse though! No siree. I thought "I feel slightly lopsided" then BAM, down on its left side, I had no time to get my left foot out of the stirrup before my leg was trapped under the horse. All I could do was take a deep breath, lean forward to hug the withers/neck and let the horse roll over me in the hope he wouldn't spend too much time trying to scratch his back. Luckily for me, he decided it felt weird with a human still on there and got straight back up. I stayed on and ended up back on top of the saddle where I belonged, soaking wet and covered in mud. That horse was a deadset oval office. I know it's wrong for ladies to say that word but he was one. The American family had the most drop-jawed, wide-eyed stare I've ever seen in my life. My first words post-near death experience? "And for my next trick!" Such a badass. Other things that happened to me as a horserider which I'd be happy to expand on but are relatively boring: - Getting dragged by a stuck foot for 200m+ over gravel/dirt and losing all the skin on my back. - Getting thrown into a post, a shard of which stuck in my leg. - Colliding in a polocrosse game and nearly dislocating my knee. - Not paying attention while mustering and failing to notice my horse galloping under a tree branch at chest height. - Owning a horse that was obsessed with chasing emus and stomping bullant nests. - Getting kicked in the chest and bitten on the fleshy bit between my ribcage and hip  Good times.
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Sep 29, 2011 23:29
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Sharks Below posted:- Owning a horse that was obsessed with chasing emus and stomping bullant nests. I want to hear more about this horse, it sounds what the christ enough to go in this thread and it sounds  to demand sharing.
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Sep 29, 2011 23:44
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Action_Bastard posted:So in my highschool chemistry class the teacher liked to split up friend pairs for lab partners, because otherwise we'd have groups that never did anything. We were all on long benches, the glossy blackish kind that are basically fireproof and resistant to acids. On the end of my table she pairs up a struggling girl (I-just-don't-get-chemistry) with a teacher's-favorite nerd. that is ridiculously adorable
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Sep 29, 2011 23:56
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Smelly posted:I want to hear more about this horse, it sounds what the christ enough to go in this thread and it sounds He was the first and only horse I ever owned  I got him when I was 14, his name was Huss. Because his registered name was Kylie's Hustler... sucks when you have a lisp. Anyway! He was a palomino quarterhorse, the kind of palomino with the really coffee coloured body and bright-white mane and tail. When I got him he had the mouth of a rhinocerous because of being ridden hard and irresponsibly by his previous owner but I softened him up pretty quick.[WTC bit begins here] Anyway, the first time I took him out cross-country riding, we were cantering along at a nice even speed, very comfortably, when suddenly he started playing up. Side stepping, being stupid. It was weird as he was so calm. Anyway I let him have his head out of curiosity and he made straight for a bullant nest. Bullant nests look like this:  They can be anywhere up to 2m or so in diameter and have a network of tunnels underneath them for the ants (about 1-1.5cm in length and vicious) to cruise around in. I kind of just tightened my grip as he used his front hooves to dig and stomp at the nest until it was all messed up. At this stage he was still pretty hard to control if he got the bit between his teeth so I had no choice but to just deal with it. After 30 seconds or so, off he went. Pretty weird. He did it every time he spotted/smelled a nest. I phoned his last owner and she said "Ohh yeah I really hate bullants, I always make the horses wreck their nests lololol" anyway so yeah that's why he did it I guess. And the emu thing I discovered early on while mustering for a friend. Big-arse plain paddock, three emus just chilling, saw the horses with humans on them and took off. Huss spotted them and bolted after them. Took me ages to bring him back after that. Another phone call to the old owner, another "oh yeah I used to chase emus with him lolol". It was dangerous and I really wish she hadn't done that. One hoof wrong in a rabbit hole and I would have had a dead horse. [end of WTC part] He was the best. I had him for 5 years until I moved away. After school I'd go out to the paddock, ride a bit or lunge him, groom and feed him then read a book while he chilled in the shade with me. Selling him was heartbreaking  But he got retired to an awesome paddock full of other older horses living out their twilight years in paradise
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Sep 30, 2011 00:12
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Finding out that the really worrying (because it's painful-sounding as hell) cough my friend has is because she was born with cystic fibrosis and also got several staph infections on top of that, meaning she'll be lucky if she makes it to age 30 alive. I'd just never really noticed the cough before, which makes me feel like poo poo. On top of that, the reason one of my closest friends is staying with a boyfriend who is (to put it very charitably) an absolute paranoid prick is because she hates herself and thinks she's completely worthless.
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Sep 30, 2011 00:33
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Action_Bastard posted:So in my highschool chemistry class the teacher liked to split up friend pairs for lab partners, because otherwise we'd have groups that never did anything. We were all on long benches, the glossy blackish kind that are basically fireproof and resistant to acids. On the end of my table she pairs up a struggling girl (I-just-don't-get-chemistry) with a teacher's-favorite nerd. That girl is awesome and I'm amazed that was in high school. Thanks for sharing that.
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Sep 30, 2011 00:39
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Pyrotoad posted:This was more of a WTC moment for my teacher rather than me. Haha, reminded me of my sophomore year of HS in Biology class - we got into the dissections and were doing a pig fetus, and a sheep's heart. We ended up somehow not being able to do both, but the teacher let us do the sheep's heart dissection as a sort of extra credit deal. My group did the whole pig dissection and near the end of class, we had a few minutes left. So I did what any weirdo teenager would do and cut the sheep's heart in half, filled out a short sheet for the teacher, and started juggling the 2 halves of sheep heart on the way back to my desk. That turned into a game of tossing the halves between me and another guy I was friends with, who happened to be part of the group I was in. Teacher got grossed out and told us to quit when a couple girls in class complained, though.
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Sep 30, 2011 01:43
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I was at the laundromat the other day. I had nothing to do and nowhere to go so I decided to just sit around and wait for my clothes to finish up. While I was waiting, a man got down on his hands and knees and began crawling around. His wife soon did the same, closely followed by their two kids. They just crawled around on the floor and looked under the washing machines. Soon after, my washing machine began making loud awful sounds and shaking violently. About 5 children swarmed the scene and began climbing all over the washing machine, whilst the family still crawled around. They left when the cycle was over so I went and put my clothes in the dryer. When I went to sit back down, I locked eyes with a little kid. She proceeded to piss her pants, while staring at me, her eye contact unwavering.  As I left, the homeless man who sleeps on my land lady's porch sometimes kept repeating that his mother and father were dead, and asked if he could use my phone. I said no.
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Sep 30, 2011 04:18
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Where the gently caress do you LIVE, man!? And is it known for gas leaks or something!?
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Sep 30, 2011 04:22
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 00:19 |
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San Jose. I just moved here about a month ago. A crack whore tried to hit me my first day here while I was walking down the street! She yelled "CRACK" as she swung her arm towards me, and I'm not sure if that was onamonapia or just what she was on at the time.
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Sep 30, 2011 04:26
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