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 January 7th, 2011. The NFL playoffs were upon TFF once again, and the 7-9 Seattle Seahawks had snuck in as the first ever losing team in the postseason. Forums poster Luminous Cow dropped a thread (requires archives) on the forums, asking for ridiculous Toxx clauses for posters to perform, given a win or loss by a team, or performances by individual players. Most of these involved new avatars or donations to charities. One 49ers fan decided to go a step beyond that. may contain peanuts posted:If the Seahawks win, the next 600 posts I make following their victory will include glowing praise of Pete Carroll's Seattle Seahawks, including reasons why they are a better team than the San Francisco 49ers. Now, this was already a stretch, and no one actually expected the Seahawks to get anywhere in the playoffs, up against the defending Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints. Things did not go as planned. With that earth-rocking run, the Seahawks shocked the world and moved on in the playoffs, causing several posters to end up with new avatars celebrating the occasion. For our friend with the Homestuck avatar, his next five months were about to become very entertaining (for the rest of us). Like a champ, may contain peanuts started the next morning off right, in the Toxx Fulfillment Thread. may contain peanuts posted:Morning, goons. Great game by the Seattle Seahawks last night. They just play so well in all three phases of the game, that passing attack is unstoppable (4 passing TDs!), great job by their defense, special teams won the field position battle all night, and you know, I think a lot of it is directly attributable to Pete Carroll, he wants to win and these players play hard for him. That's why they're in the playoffs, which incidentally is where the 49ers are not. In them. Them being the playoffs. 49ers aren't in the playoffs, Seahawks are. This thread chronicles the completed posts of MCP’s toxx. I didn’t include every post, as there were a goddamn lot. Feel free to check out his post history, though. In the avatar thread, KFCB put this up celebrating the night's victory: may contain peanuts posted:
As the playoffs carried on, MCP continued to compare each and every event to his newfound love, the Seahawks. may contain peanuts posted:
may contain peanuts posted:I don't think may contain peanuts posted:You know who's a good players coach? Pete Carroll. He's kinda like what Jim Harbaugh would be like with charisma and poise and knowledge about football and if he wasn't so ugly. may contain peanuts posted:Frank Caliendo making a fat joke about anyone is kind of like Alex Smith calling anyone a bad quarterback, also the Seahawks own may contain peanuts posted:I only read one Animorphs book. It was about uh, it was like a guy who had turned into an eagle, but then he was an eagle for too long and then he couldn't change back, or something. I dunno. I guess I didn't really see the appeal. may contain peanuts posted:Wow that's really bad special teams play by the 49ers. Oops I mean the Packers. Sorry whenever I see a team do real bad at something I assume it's the 49ers. Boy that team is bad. I wish they were the Seahawks. may contain peanuts posted:Wow! A great run by Vick! It's almost like he's Steve Young out there, except Steve Young was horrible and couldn't run or pass and had no poise in the pocket and actually you know what that run was really more like Matt Hasselback who is good at every aspect of quarterbacking may contain peanuts posted:
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may contain peanuts posted:I don't understand how Matt Hasselback got passed over for the halftime show. A lot of people don't know this but he plays the guitar really well and he sings like an angel. Oh, they probably didn't ask him to perform because he'll probably be playing at the time. Well they can call up Vernon Davis, there's no conflict of interest there. may contain peanuts posted:[quote="Manoueverable But wait... then I wouldn't have room to write that Walter Jones is the greatest offensive tackle of all time and is better than any given 5 49ers linemen put together! The character limit for titles is way too restrictive.[/quote] may contain peanuts posted:
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may contain peanuts posted:Oh no. Kuhn is hurt? That's like if the Seahawks lost Hasselback or Williams or... wait did I already do this one? poo poo, uh, Seahawks own forever and the 49ers aren't very good. may contain peanuts posted:Clay Matthews looks really uncomfortable on camera, much like how Alex Smith feels uncomfortable any time he has to make a decision, or like how Charlie Whitehurst doesn't feel uncomfortable ever because he's a perfect golden god may contain peanuts posted:
may contain peanuts posted:Haha now I can't not hear it, that's amazing. may contain peanuts posted:An interesting stat I just found, Leon Washington somehow has like 83 yards from scrimmage. But he's not even playing today??? He's just that good! Also Frank Gore has no yards from scrimmage but that's less interesting considering his team didn't make the playoffs (#34) may contain peanuts posted:I'm expecting it to take me a month. I'll pick up big chunks of it in GDTs but during the week I won't be able to post as much. That's fine. Rome wasn't built in a day. Just look at the Seahawks, Pete Carroll had to go through a long rebuilding process befo... oh wait no they made the playoffs his first year as head coach. Well maybe it's more like the 49ers because they've been rebuilding since forever since they've never been any good (#36) Yeah, that was an optimistic estimate. may contain peanuts posted:Is every joke on that show going to be like that? It seems like if you keep using the same subject for all your jokes it would get tiring. may contain peanuts posted:That's nice and everything, but if you were a team like, just as an example, the Seahawks, you wouldn't need a comeback mode. Because you'd always be up by like 40. A team that could really use that mode is the 49ers, as well as a "play good at all, just once, Jesus Christ" mode. (#39) may contain peanuts posted:You can't, though! That's the thing! There's so many great things about this Seattle team that I'll never run out. Take this year's draft for example, they just put together so many great players, Okung, Thomas, Tate, all these great young players who will be part of this organization for years to come. The 49ers meanwhile traded the majority of their picks in a miscommunication with Denver that resulted in them receiving a framed picture of Tim Tebow. (#42) may contain peanuts posted:Why are they going over the overtime rules? This game isn't close to going to overtime. may contain peanuts posted:
may contain peanuts posted:Probably they realize that the winner of this game will eventually have to take on the Seahawks, and they figure, what's the point. Why bother. We can't win anyways, why does anything matter anymore. That's the same thing that happened to the Niners, in addition to their lack of talent. (#49) may contain peanuts posted:That's the end! Congratulations Packers fans. It was looking a little close there for a while but it looks like you'll have a chance to join the 49ers on the list of teams that the Seattle Seahawks will completely destroy this year. (#51) The majority of those 50 or so posts? One thread. We all saw right off the bat that MCP was going to take this thing on like a goddamned champion. may contain peanuts posted:I think he just disagrees with your premise and doesn't necessarily care about the conclusion. It's like if you were to say "Seattle has a better passing attack than San Francisco, therefore Seattle is the greatest team in the history of the NFL and also all other sports leagues." Obviously that's the right conclusion but the premise is incomplete because Seattle also has a better running game, better pass rush, better run defense, and better coffee. may contain peanuts posted:Oh, that's my bad then, I guess I missed him saying that. Kind of like the 49ers miss having a quarterback that's any good (even though none of them have been at the level of Matt Hasselback, the greatest of all footballers (Seahawks, bitch)). may contain peanuts posted:That one was #56. This one will be #57 as soon as I can think of some praise for the Seahawks, like how Lofa Tatupu got snubbed for the Pro Bowl and should have gone over Patrick Willis. Oh, there it is. So yeah I'm a little under 1/10th of the way done. may contain peanuts posted:
may contain peanuts posted:I think that 49ers team was overrated, honestly. Maybe they were good in that era but I don't think they would have been able to compete against a modern team like, just as an arbitrary example, the 2010 Seattle Seahawks. (#63) may contain peanuts posted:It's an idea. I've largely been numbering them for the benefit of people wondering what I'm up to, though... although, I suppose those people could use the same method? Okay folks, when my postcount is at 4315 my toxx will be over. Write that number down. Tattoo it on your forehead. may contain peanuts posted:What you really need is that growing Ironicat, but I don't have it handy. may contain peanuts posted:Well what can you do, no one was open. I think it was a good decision, the sort of decision Matt Hasselbeck might make. If it was Alex Smith in the same situation he would have thrown a shovel pass that somehow gets intercepted by two defensive players at once. may contain peanuts posted:Where's the OPI. Where is it. It's as hard to find as a 49er who's better at his position than a Seahawk (there aren't any) may contain peanuts posted:Oh that's what Housh is whining about, he got a headbutt. Refs didn't call it, 49ers haven't made the playoffs in over 8 years whereas the Seahawks have been multiple times, what else is new may contain peanuts posted:So they're advertising specifically to gay NFL fans? I wonder how big of a market that is. may contain peanuts posted:Ahhhhhhhhhhhh that had a real shot at being intercepted. Good job by whatever lineman tipped it although he's probably not as good as Chris Clemons. Well we can't all be Chris Clemons. Justin Smith laments that fact every day may contain peanuts posted:Yeah I'm gonna hold off on all that sort of talk because there's still time for a heartbreaking Steelers comeback, much like the Seahawks comeback against the 49ers in week 1. Oh wait no the Seahawks were ahead that whole game and it was a huge blowout, woops, I guess I was thinking of something else. may contain peanuts posted:An incomplete pass. It happens when the ball doesn't get to the intended receiver. Usually they happen by accident, but the 49ers have a few plays that are designed incompletions to "get in the other team's head". Doesn't work though, most teams are too smart to be confused by that, especially the Seahawks may contain peanuts posted:Someone has to use that name. Much like the 49ers have to start Alex Smith. It's rough but someone has to start all these lovely players so the Seattle Seahawks can have all the good ones may contain peanuts posted:I had been numbering them but someone gave me a better idea which was just to use the postcount when I started to determine when I'll be done. When my postcount is 4315 I'll be done. I don't know what it is right now, I stopped checking it. Much like I stopped checking... checked... uh, not checking... I got nothing for this one, 49ers are worse than Seahawks. may contain peanuts posted:All you people who were declaring the Ravens the winners at the half, this is happening because of you. You did this. The power of your collective jynxes has become unto itself a physical thing, more powerful than even Pete Carroll wait no nothing is okay it's more powerful than Jim Harbaugh uh well that's not saying much, it's powerful, that's what I'm driving at here. may contain peanuts posted:Really? poo poo I was planning on posting about a homoerotic dream I had about Pete Carroll for #100. Oh well. I've still got it written, I just need to find the appropriate time to post it, like the 49ers are looking for an appropriate time to be good at football. Not quite yet, guys! Better lose a few more games to the Seahawks. may contain peanuts posted:Not for nothing but Kawalimus was calling the last Ravens/Steelers game over when the Ravens had a lead and he ended up being right. Although on the other hand if you continuously say that and never say anything else then yeah sometimes you're gonna be right. Kinda like if Alex Smith just keeps throwing passes, eventually one of them won't be intercepted by a Seahawks player. may contain peanuts posted:
may contain peanuts posted:That was pretty clever, I didn't even think they were going to run a play. I thought they'd just play for offsides, take the delay of game, and kick a field goal. Crafty considering it's not a Pete Carroll led team, whose massive intellect absorbs all football knowledge around him. He's already made the entire 49ers coaching staff literally retarded with his wizard powers. may contain peanuts posted:If the Ravens win this, I think you have to give the game ball to Suggs. Or actually, no, it's between Suggs and Marshawn Lynch. Granted Lynch didn't play in this game so that's a strike against him, but otherwise I think he's had the bigger impact. He's a strong powerful player who's way better than any current or past San Francisco running back. may contain peanuts posted:Easily the worst thing about this toxx clause is that I effectively can't empty quote anymore. may contain peanuts posted:what the gently caress how do you allow that long of a completion gently caress you nate clements get off the field why can't we ever beat the seahawks what game am i watching may contain peanuts posted:Pop Dog is the best poster y'all. He's like Pete Carroll in posting form. If he was posting against the 49ers he would beat them for sure may contain peanuts posted:Huh yeah I just checked and you're right. Housh 57.7%, Washington 74.5%. I mean not 20 exact but who cares, that's a huge difference. may contain peanuts posted:Same. It's tough getting invested in this game because I don't really like either of these teams significantly more than the other. It's like how I can't get invested in Seahawks games because it's obvious they'll roll over whatever lovely team they're playing against (like the Niners (the Niners are lovely)) may contain peanuts posted:I just poo poo myself laughing may contain peanuts posted:
may contain peanuts posted:Uh did anyone else just lose sound? What the gently caress where'd my sound go may contain peanuts posted:Okay I fixed it. Shutting the TV off and turning it back on made the sound come back. Pete Carroll would have figured that out sooner. He's just so smart, that's how he was able to lead an NFL team to the playoffs instead of the 49ers who didn't. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Especially in comparison to the last game, this game just feels like it's flying. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Who the gently caress even was that? He looked like Devin Hester in an alternate reality where Hester was a Seahawk and therefore the greatest return man ever. Interestingly in that alternate reality Tedd Ginn Jr still fuckin sucks. Ginn is a constant factor across all realities. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
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”may contain peanuts” posted:Tramon Williams is loving incredible. I just watch him play and all I can think is "Wow, the Seahawks are such a great team" because all I'm ever thinking about is how great the Seahawks are and how they're better than the 49ers. Anyways what I'm trying to say here is that Tramon Williams is real good. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
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”may contain peanuts” posted:Man I would love to see like one playoff game this weekend where a team doesn't self destruct and poo poo all over itself like Mike Singletary does regularly (again doesn't make him a bad person I'm just saying). The Seahawks game is out obviously since they'll win by a billion, so I guess my only hope is Jets/Patriots? Last time the Jets lost by 42 points, though. I'm not optimistic. ”may contain peanuts” posted:You can't be serious ”may contain peanuts” posted:Oh, yeah you're right, when they tell you the times for these things usually they're including pregame. Whew. Well just to be on the safe side I'll drive recklessly on the way home. Like my car is Marshawn Lynch and all the other cars are 49ers defenders. The time soon came for the next Seahawks game. Though it looked grim, may contain peanuts showed unbridled optimism and faith in his team. ”may contain peanuts” posted:That's a smart play by the Seahawks. Let the Bears score so you can get your offense back on the field and throw a whole lot more touchdowns than the 49ers did this postseason because they're not in it because they didn't make the playoffs. ”may contain peanuts” posted:I'm sure Milloy could have gotten there if he played at his full ability. Obviously that's completely unfair to the rest of the NFL so every player on the Seahawks is forced to wear 50 pound weights while they play. Have you ever read Harrison Bergeron? It's kind of like that. The 49ers do something similar but instead of wearing weights they're terrible at football. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Don't quote me on this because I'm not 100% sure, but I think in a situation where a player literally dies on the field, the playoffs are canceled and the Lombardi is awarded to the most talented team, which of course is the Seahawks. Why would it be anyone other than the Seahawks?! If you guessed the 49ers man that's an awful guess because those guys are goddam horrible ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:Incredible fair catch by Tate there. He's got such a high football IQ and knows exactly when to fair catch the ball. I wish Tedd Ginn Jr was as smart as Tate, normally Ginn just gets confused and hands the ball to the other team ”may contain peanuts” posted:Seahawks are saving all their plays. I think that's good football. You don't want to waste the good stuff in the first quarter, you gotta save that for your game winning drive. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Great defense by the Seahawks that series. Any time you can force a team to go for it on 4th down, you're doing something right. If Seattle keeps playing at this high a level they'll win this game 42-14-N/A, that last score representing the 49ers' points (they don't have any, they're not in the playoffs) ”may contain peanuts” posted:Well I'm sure it was because Forte got shaken up on the play before that one. That's the thing about the Seahawks, they hit hard! It works a lot better than the 49ers' defensive strategy of politely asking the ball carrier not to advance the ball. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Personally I welcome all playoff posters. That's what Pete Carroll would do. I don't like the idea of being elitist, like how the 49ers don't allow anyone good at football on their team. ”may contain peanuts” posted:The only choice is KFC. You need to Double Down, son, that's the goon choice. Alternately you could go with the Pete Carroll choice, which is to get a Double Down and also to pulverize the 49ers into a fine powder ”may contain peanuts” posted:Dude you don't keep Beastmode on all the time. You gotta save it for a real desperate situation like when you're playing the 49ers defense and you're only up by 30 ”may contain peanuts” posted:Honestly I don't think any halftime adjustments are needed. The Seahawks are already winning this game in every possible way except for points and yards. Probably they'll just take it easy during halftime, relax a bit, maybe call up some 49ers players and remind them that they didn't make the playoffs ”may contain peanuts” posted:I'm pretty sure the snow is just the reason the receivers were going easy on the defensive backs. It really wouldn't be fair to the defense to torch them on an 80 yard catch while they were also cold and covered in snowflakes. I'm having trouble working into this a way that the 49ers are bad but man they're definitely bad, basically the worst team ever ”may contain peanuts” posted:If defensive Bears have to do pushups every time they gently caress up I'm not sure why they're not continually doing pushups. Seahawks are just having their way with them! I mean it's not translating into points but it's pretty clear who the more dominant team is, and it's not the 49ers, because they stopped playing in December ”may contain peanuts” posted:Goddam. Tough choice. That's like Sophie's Choice. How am I supposed to know which child to kill?! If only I knew which one would grow up to be a 49ers fan, then I could spare him a life of misery watching his team get destroyed by Seattle. ”may contain peanuts” posted:They're trying to win the game exclusively through points from field goals. It unlocks an achievement. On the one hand you could call it unsporting, but on the other hand Joe Montana was the most overrated quarterback ever and would have accomplished nothing without Jerry Rice who was also overrated ”may contain peanuts” posted:Keep in mind, last night the Packers scored 28 points in a single quarter. It's totally doable! And if anyone can do it, it's the 49ers. I mean, wait, no, the Seahawks. Not the 49ers, they're the worst of those two teams! That wouldn't make any sense. ”may contain peanuts” posted:The first of many. Here come the Seahawks. Years from now you can all say that when other people got bored and stopped watching, you were there for the Seahawks miracle comeback of 2010. And you can also say that the 49ers loving blow because, what, it can't really be overstated. ”may contain peanuts” posted:It's like rivals in the sense that Popeye and Bluto were rivals. It's pretty obvious that Popeye is going to win at the end but you know, everyone has to go through the motions. ”may contain peanuts” posted:I'm beginning to suspect this isn't all part of the Seahawks' plan. Now I'm starting to think... conspiracy. Of course, the only way the Bears could beat the Seahawks is by paying off the refs! It all makes sense! It's just like how the 49ers bought those Super Bowl wins that are irrelevant because they happened a million years ago and no one cares about them anymore and Alex Smith is garbage! Unfortunately, the magical run would not last. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Well I think we can all agree the Seahawks played a great game today. There were at least 21 points they should have scored but didn't because of the refs and the turf and the snow but that's fine, history will know who the real winners were. I'll give some credit to the Bears, they definitely know how to be in the right place at the right time, absolutely great job having that turf. MCP wasn’t gonna let no scrubs back out of their own toxxes: ”may contain peanuts” posted:Seriously? That's a c'mon man. Don't make the toxx if you're not willing to follow through on it. It's like if Pete Carroll made a bet that he would lose to the 49ers he would well okay that's a bad example because I don't think he could lose to the 49ers if he tried, the disparity in coaching ability there is too immense. My point is that you should just change your facebook status. C'mon man. On Al Davis: ”may contain peanuts” posted:Dang, Al Davis isn't looking so good these days! I'd say he's almost as ugly as the 49ers defense that game they got shredded by Seattle! Ha ha! For reals though all those pictures are loving gross. Predictions! ”may contain peanuts” posted:Seattle vs Green Bay at Chicago: I know a lot of people don't think the Seahawks can win this one on the basis that they "were eliminated", but really that's the only knock against them. Other than that I think they're the best team, and I don't think the Packers, Bears, or 49ers stand a chance against them. ”may contain peanuts” posted:According to the results of my simulation, the best team in the NFL is... Seattle! Wow! They got a Good Football Playing Rating (GFPR) of over 200, that's easily twelve times the rating that San Francisco got. ”may contain peanuts” posted:The worst part is that not only would you not have Brad Seely anymore, but the 49ers would still have terrible special teams. It's not the coaching that's the problem, it's the dark magicks that have cursed the city of San Francisco for like 20 years or 21 years or something, I'm not gonna look it up but it's been a while basically. See this is what the Seahawks get that the 49ers don't understand: In this league you need a reliable team of Vodoun priests to ward off vengeful spirits. Games were on once again, sans Hawks. I think he was drunk during this thread, judging by the spelling. All the better! ”may contain peanuts” posted:I guess it's interactive because you're supposed to be screaming throughout the whole thing, but all I was doing was going "Seahawks own! Seahawks own! The Seahawks are better than the 49ers!" I think I did it wrong. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Woah Jenkins is having a good game out there. I might be willing to call him Seahawks quality. I woouldnt say he's Niners quality, why would I say that!? that would be the opposite of what I mean ”may contain peanuts” posted:I feel like I never get to see a safety. There's all sorts of stuff I want to see but never do, like the Niners fielding a better team than the Seahawks ”may contain peanuts” posted:Packers are running it really well, Bears need to turn on the Beast Mode to respon d... oh wait they can't, Beast Mode plays for the Seahawks (the best team (Niners are less good)) ”may contain peanuts” posted:When I saw that live I thought it hit the ground, but when I saw the replay I saw Charlie Whitehurst. Did anyone else see him? He was winking at me, a knowing wink, as though he knows he will always be better than Stev e Young ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:It sucks to get that field position and do nothing with it, like how the 49ers do nothing with the talent thry have. That's the key to football, yor coach needs to be Pete Carroll. Only the Seahawks understand that ”may contain peanuts” posted:Surprised how quiet this bears stadium is... its the playoffs guys, winner of this game goes to the super bowl! Yell like its Qwest field, or like you're mad at nate clements for loving up yet again ”may contain peanuts” posted:
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The Pro Bowl: ”may contain peanuts” posted:The joke is on you, sir!!! The NFC has the Seahawks, who are the greatest team ever (definitely better than the 49ers). Granted I don't think any Seahawks are actually playing today, but just by virtue of their being in the NFC I think they give that conference a huge edge. ”may contain peanuts” posted:That's what I thought too. I'd still be playing City of Villains. It's double XP weekend, and I was planning to get double XP. ”may contain peanuts” posted:How come Bill Belicheck and Mike Smith are coaching? I thought it was normally the championship game losers who coached this. ”may contain peanuts” posted:A 3 and out? In the Pro Bowl? This is easy mode guys, come on. You may as well be playing against the 49ers defense out there. Channel your inner Matt Hasselbeck and throw all of the touchdowns ”may contain peanuts” posted:Still a little under 350 to go. There's no chance of completing it before the season ends... so... should make the offseason more interesting I guess! Need something to do during the offseason when you can't see any of Matt Hasselbeck's precision passes destroying the 49ers pass defense ”may contain peanuts” posted:Why is Devin Hester playing first team WR, I thought he was just there for his kick returning ”may contain peanuts” posted:"Vick has been struggling lately" ”may contain peanuts” posted:The amazing thing is that there are people who are hearing this for the first time right now. ”may contain peanuts” posted:OH poo poo what a great return by whoever that was! I'm just going to assume it was Leon Washington because it was a good return and he's the guy who returns good, also 49ers suck ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:Oh my god I just laughed until I started coughing and now I can't stop coughing and my lungs are really starting to hurt, if I die today tell Charlie Whitehurst I love him and that I think he's better than Joe Montana was ”may contain peanuts” posted:There won't be any outrage because no one will have watched the game. They will all have been too busy thinking about the Seahawks, thinking about how great they are, wondering, are they better than the 49ers??? And then realize yes, of course they were, why was that ever a question ”may contain peanuts” posted:Every interception. All of them ”may contain peanuts” posted:Maybe he's a vagina man. I dunno why after those two you went straight for the penis, seems kind of odd. ”may contain peanuts” posted:[quote=”Shimrra Jamaane Also in fairness: Separated from the mainland, they are far from the radiant aura of Good Football Playing that comes from Seattle. But then they're also far away from San Francisco so maybe it's a wash.[/quote] ”may contain peanuts” posted:Wow! That's incredible! The Seahawks are the greatest team of all time and the 49ers aren't! Also incredible: That catch. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
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makes you a bad person. For example you take a guy like Golden Tate, who got high and robbed a donut shop, but he's one of the best young receivers in the NFL. Already he's better than anyone currently on the 49ers, or ever was.
ALL TOXXES MUST BE COMPLETED BY MARCH 3RD, 2011”siren:
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With the football season over, MCP turned to other threads, but didn’t forget what matters most.”may contain peanuts” posted:I feel like this should be funny, but somehow these announcers have passed the point of bad into the point of so bad it's funny and then past that into bad again. "How can Clay Matthews be a ref! He's not a ref! He's a football player! Someone get down there and tell Clay Matthews that Pete Carroll is the best coach of all time and Bill Walsh was an overrated hack" oh wait sorry that last part was me, I said that. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Matt Hasselbeck played the entire season with one collapsed lung, every bone in his body broken, and the other lung also collapsed. And he still won more playoff games this year than Alex Smith has won in his career. (This post was made on 2/25/11) ”may contain peanuts” posted:Welp ”may contain peanuts” posted:Well that's unfortunate for the Patriots, he's been a great guard when he's been healthy. Although look on the bright side, you don't really need a great offensive line to be competitive. Just look at the Seahawks, they don't have the best line ever, but they won more 2010 playoff games than the Patriots and 49ers combined (the latter being a team that hasn't made the playoffs in what, 20 years or something? Who even knows). Re: Alex Smith ”may contain peanuts” posted:Sure, but I mean that's been his MO since he was drafted. He always has these handful of great plays or great drives in between the raw unmitigated diarrhea he usually spews all over the field. He's at basically the worst skill level possible. Bad enough to sink the team, but good enough that you want to keep giving him more shots at it. Obviously it would be best if he could be consistently good like Matt Hasselbeck, but failing that it would be better for him to be consistently bad. At least then maybe he could finally get cut. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Yeah if he was on a good team, for example the Seattle Seahawks, he'd probably look like a good player. It's too bad he's stuck on the San Francisco 49ers, where his career will never amount to anything and also he'll be statistically more likely to get cancer (it's true, I looked it up). ”may contain peanuts” posted:Hey lets all post our right tackle rankings ”may contain peanuts” posted:I gently caress fat 49ers fans, because that's the only kind. All the HB10s root for the Seahawks. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Well the thing about all that is, I was reading an article a while back and it said something like 70-80% of all 49ers fans have uh, well I forget what you call it but it's the condition Mr Glass from Unbreakable had (great movie btw). Which when you think about it makes a lot of sense because all 49ers fans are pussies. On Rules: ”may contain peanuts” posted:While we're eliminating stuff I don't suppose we could also remove offense and defense from the game? I'm just trying to think of ways the 49ers could conceivably ever beat the Seahawks. Maybe if the entire game was replaced with Jenga? Wait no the 49ers are horrible at that too. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Except it's not deflecting attention? Because those other players shouldn't have been questioned either? Which was his point? Question marks? ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:I've mentioned this before, but I actually actively dislike football games about real leagues. I think playing as a real person is weird! That's part of why I couldn't get into Madden. (Another part is because I couldn't figure out how to win with the 49ers. What the hell, EA! Someone needs to nerf the Seahawks already, they're super OP) ”may contain peanuts” posted:I don't care at all about this poll anymore now that the 12th Man isn't in it. Why bother voting if even noted bad player Patrick Willis can get enough votes to advance... why bother with anything... ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:Well it's not so much that I hate them, there's no malice intended, you know. It's just whenever I think of a team that's struggling or doesn't mesh well or just blows in general, I automatically think of the 49ers, because there's just so many aspects of the sport that they aren't good at. I mean it's the same way when people think of a good team they're like "oh right, the Seahawks, that team is good", you know? That's the sort of thing a person would think. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:It's more like the Seahawks are the future of Cam Newton, and also all other players independent of team affiliation. The Seahawks are an all encompassing force, and regardless of which team drafts you, you can't help but feel your life changed by the radiance of their majesty. Also they're better at football than the 49ers. ”may contain peanuts” posted:I kind of resent the implication that I am not at all times 100% sincere! Anyways I disagree, those games are going to be huge blowouts in the Seahawks' favor, probably not very interesting to watch. On the NFL Logo Battle: ”may contain peanuts” posted:I'm tempted to vote for the Ravens 'cause they got a bird mascot. Bird teams are the best teams, take the Seahawks for example, that's a great team, way better than the 49ers. That's why the 49ers aren't any good, they don't have a bird mascot. And also the general lack of football talent. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, voted Washington. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:The bird is such a great logo that other logos weep to see the heights it has soared which they will never reach. Especially that 49ers prospector, he cries a whole bunch. So to keep anyone from feeling inadequate I voted Bruce. ”may contain peanuts” posted:If you voted for the spear you are literally IQ-under-70 retarded, kind of like former head coach Mike Singletary is. I bet that has a lot to do with why the 49ers didn't win as many games as the Seahawks. In my opinion it's important to have a coach who isn't retarded, like Pete Carroll. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, voted elf. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Don't blame me, I voted for the 49ers prospector. On Homestuck: ”may contain peanuts” posted:You're joking, but it seems more likely than any character currently in the story being Lord English. We haven't seen anyone who could fit into that coat yet, whereas this frog god, well, who knows. You don't know what his physical dimensions are. Maybe he's coat sized. That's hard to imagine, but it's easier to imagine than some other things, like the San Francisco 49ers ever being a better football team than the Seattle Seahawks. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:I'm still a bit unclear on why Kanaya went after Gamzee first. Does she even have a reason to believe Gamzee is a threat? I guess he's wearing Nepeta's hat and Equius' glasses, but maybe he's just borrowing them. And okay there's the club covered in blood but man that could be anyone's blood, anyone with that exact color of blood, and anyways maybe Nepeta had it coming, she doesn't know. At least I think she doesn't know? I'm not sure how much she knows about what's happened since she died. ”may contain peanuts” posted:I think you can be forgiven for not remembering the Scurrilous Straggler given that he only appears in two panels in this entire infinity bajillion page comic - this one and this one. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:I think the absolute most likely scenario for the next update is a 7X PSYCHOUT COMBO or whatever we're up to at this point. I'd be shocked if we actually see Lord English. ”may contain peanuts” posted:I wonder if the deal with the second disc is that it's an ARG. Hussie literally will not update the comic until one of the readers figures out where the second disc is. Better start checking the archives, folks. Personally I'm going to try to recruit the help of noted super genius Pete Carroll, who is real smart and good at puzzles and is a better football coach than Jim Harbaugh. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Man. I can't believe this dude missed the opportunity for seahorse dad. The lyrics give you a perfect setup to include him, the part where he's like "I tried to tell my mom but she told me this was one for your dad." I was screaming "SEAHORSE DAD!" at my monitor in the same voice I yell at my TV with when my favorite sports team does something stupid (which is all the time because I root for the San Francisco 49ers (which is a worse team than the Seahawks)). ”may contain peanuts” posted:Avatarchat. Is it The Worst Chat? I've consulted my team of experts, and after running countless experiments they returned with the result that the Seattle Seahawks are a better sports team than the San Francisco 49ers. That's not what they were supposed to be testing for. Can't argue with results, though. All the numbers add up. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
On City of Heroes: ”may contain peanuts” posted:I have a dumb question followed by a seemingly unrelated non sequitur. I've noticed that they added optional challenges to Task Forces/Strike Forces, where you can specify a time limit or a deaths limit or maybe a third thing that I can't remember. What do these limits get you? I did Imperious last night with some goons and there was a 30 minute time limit set, which we didn't accomplish, but it didn't seem like anything bad happened as a result. Do you get like a bonus reward if you meet the challenge? I still got my merit rewards and everything. The Seattle Seahawks are a way better football team than the San Francisco 49ers. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Well what I really want is for the Seattle Seahawks to win a Super Bowl, seeing as how Pete Carroll deserves a ring for being the greatest coach in NFL history and for being way better than Bill Walsh. But failing that, yes, I would like to run Barracuda tonight. What time? I'll probably be on around 7 EST. ”may contain peanuts” posted:It's weird, before I started reading the forums I didn't realize how many people there were who exclusively wanted to play the game by themselves. Although on the other hand, how would I have known that, it's not like I would have grouped with them. But I guess it's like a whole bunch of people who are Real Angry about all this stuff. It's not even like it's hard to get a group for the weekly strike force; seems like since it's come out that's all I do anymore. Is someone really going to want to pay 100 million inf and all those shards rather than run a single 1-2 hour TF? It's hard to imagine. Well maybe they won't and that's why they're still pissed. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
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”may contain peanuts” posted:A lot of people are playing Marvel vs Capcom 3 right now, so that's part of it. I was only on City of Heroes two days in the past week, the rest of the time was spent trying to learn how to OTG a DHC HSF into a XFC SNK MODOK and get mad salty. I'm getting pretty good at it. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Yeah I had the same issue and I just ended up making a new account. My security question was something like "what is the best" and I put in everything I could think of: "Seattle Seahawks", "Seattle", "The Emerald City", "Charlie Whitehurst", "The Opposite of the San Francisco 49ers", you know, everything I could think of, but it didn't accept any of it. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Okay maybe I'm retarded but I don't really get what's going on with Lambda Sector. I thought the way it works is that you could use the Molecular Acid temp powers to shut down the portals spawning in waves of bad guys. Our group got all 10 Acids during the Acid-getting phase, and I'm pretty sure everyone who had one used it, but there were still roughly 800 guys in the courtyard at all times. I'm not really clear on how to not instantly die as soon as you set foot in the courtyard. I think I died more times than the number of times the Seahawks have beaten the 49ers (for those of you who don't follow sports that's a lot because the Seahawks are the best team of all time). On Dominion: ”may contain peanuts” posted:
e/n Advice: ”may contain peanuts” posted:I agree with this dude. You gotta pick your battles; some opinions are so indefensibly awful that it's really not worth getting into an argument about. Like I had a guy the other day try to tell me that the 49ers were a better sports team than the Seahawks, and in my head I'm thinking like "whaaaaat???" but I didn't say anything about it because it was obvious to everyone but him that he was wrong. You don't have to argue about every thing a person says that you disagree with. On Great SA Posts: ”may contain peanuts” posted:The problem with TFF quotes is that if you want to share them with someone outside the subforum you usually have to provide some context that spoils the joke, like "Brett Favre's wife had breast cancer" or "the Seattle Seahawks are the greatest football team of all time and Joe Montana was a convicted child molester." It's too bad because if you know the context some of that stuff is real funny. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
On Mortal Kombat: ”may contain peanuts” posted:I was doing the same thing but with the back+X, square, triangle combo (or I guess B+3, 1, 2 if I don't want to completely baffle XBox players, or people who hosed around with their buttons). The best I was able to get was that combo five times in a row for 43% damage, which seems okay. The best part is that the first hit of that combo hits low and the first hit of yours hits high so you could mix people up with them, they're all like, oh man, I don't know which way I block. I mean in theory anyways. It's not like I can get online to try it out, and mixups mean nothing to the computer, it's a perfect blocking machine, sort of like how Russell Okung is a perfect blocking machine for the Seattle Seahawks, part of a great offensive line that's definitely better than what the 49ers have. But yeah, Liu Kang, his corner combos seem pretty good. Soon it was time for the NFL Draft, and our pal was prepared: ”may contain peanuts” posted:Probably the thing to expect is for the 49ers to make the dumbest pick possible and then for the Seahawks to draft the player the 49ers should have picked. That's what I'm expecting. In fact I already have several posts pre-written to that effect, so I'll be prepared when it happens. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Haha booing Goodell. One can only assume it's for creating an unbalanced league in which awful teams like the San Francisco 49ers cannot compete with amazing teams like the Seahawks. Way to do that thing, Goodell! ”may contain peanuts” posted:It's possible he's crying because he realized he'll never be a Seattle Seahawk, and won't get to play for the best team in the NFL and also the world. Although I guess he could get traded, that's still a thing. Maybe he's crying because he could be traded to the 49ers. ”may contain peanuts” posted:How much of the future do you know? I'm curious how badly the 49ers gently caress this draft up horribly and how many super bowls the Seahawks end up winning. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:Holy poop. What a loving rout! It's like this trade was the Seahawks, and I'm not really sure where this analogy goes from there but the Seahawks are a better team than the 49ers. ”may contain peanuts” posted:What a terrible pick. I can't believe the 49ers would screw this up so badly as to pick... hold on I didn't actually see who they got. Aldon Smith? Yeah that guy probably sucks. What an awful decision when the guy the Seahawks will eventually draft is still on the board. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Hey all. Just want to sneak a post in between all y'all freaking out about this football player just picked. Anyone here ever seen the Seattle Seahawks play football? I tell you, amazing, just amazing, they're so good at the game, much better than the 49ers. Alright, that's all from me, go back to freaking out. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:Aww. Could be worse, Blane! You could have been drafted first overall by a really bad team, and then have to play against the best team in the league twice a year. That's Alex Smith's situation, I'm referring to Alex Smith. ”may contain peanuts” posted:They picked secondary last year and it didn't work. Obviously that's not a winning strategy. It's like how last year the 49ers tried picking football players and that didn't work. This year they're going to draft on autopilot and focus their efforts on cloning Pete Carroll. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
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”may contain peanuts” posted:Not a lot of variation. Well there's something to be said for consistency, like how the Seahawks are consistently the best team in the NFL, or how Frank Gore consistently poops himself at the start of the 3rd quarter in every game. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:Wow this section goes on for a while. Get back to the draft! We're getting so close to the Seahawks pick, I'm so anxious to see which player is going to totally dick the 49ers 2 times a year for the next 10 years ”may contain peanuts” posted:Okay here it comes. This is the only pick of the night that even slightly matters at all. The Seahawks are going to pick so hard that every other pick is undone and the entire building is obliterated in a blinding light, and the 49ers pick is undone a second time because they're real bad. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Wow. Excellent pick by the Seahawks. Great player, great value at this point in the draft, okay I don't know who this guy is, even so it's the best pick I've ever seen. Why didn't the 49ers take this guy????? ”may contain peanuts” posted:gently caress you, Ravens! That's the pick I wanted the 49ers to make in round 2! Now they're going to be forced to pick a player who somehow adds negative value to the team, further increasing the skill disparity between them and the incredible Seahawks... ”may contain peanuts” posted:I dislike the 49ers pick if the player is bad, unless he's like really bad, because then he might distract people from how all the other players on the team are also bad and the Seahawks have better players at every position and Pete Carroll should get a trophy. ”may contain peanuts” posted:I like this pick. It's time to stop hoping for Alex Smith to turn it around, and time to start hoping this guy starts turning it around after he's an inevitable disappointment. You're not going to get a guy as good as Charlie Whitehurst, so just draft whoever. That's smart drafting. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Is this a good pick for Cleveland? I know the Browns are changing schemes, so there's that, but Mayock is saying this guy is scheme versatile. But then, Mayock says all sorts of stuff, like that the 49ers make good picks sometimes or that the Seahawks are not made up of ancient Greek dieties. So I'm not sure he's a good analyst. ”may contain peanuts” posted:You're not missing anything. While they're in commercials Goodell is just at the microphone screaming "Seahawks are #1!" over and over, in an attempt to ward the spirits of Seattle from bringing destruction upon them. It doesn't work, that's why the 49ers keep losing to them. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Nice that Bowers finally got picked. Now he doesn't have to keep sitting there, wondering, dreading, praying that he's not picked by the 49ers. Although now he can't hope he'll be drafted by the Seahawks, so I guess there's a tradeoff. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:0% chance of loving anything up here. The Seahawks have a perfect plan for this draft. In fact they sent this pick in three days ago. They knew who they wanted, they knew who would be available, and they knew they're a better team than the 49ers, but really, who isn't ”may contain peanuts” posted:Odd pick by the Lions. The Seahawks could have drafted this guy and chose to trade down instead. What does that tell you? It tells you that Leshoure is not Seahawks quality. So why bother? If you're just going to pick bad players on purpose, why not just move to California, put on some red and gold, and call yourselves the Niners? ”may contain peanuts” posted:That's a bit much to assume after one year of play. Alex Smith looked good his first year too. I think. It's hard to remember back that far. It's just a haze, and then a wave of blue and neon green washes over me, and then I wake up screaming. No Seahawks in my bedroom, but was it really a dream? To be continued... On... MVC3? ”may contain peanuts” posted:e: Wrong thread. Oh, ok. Back to the draft. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Pretty obvious to me what's happening here. Bill Belichick comes from a future where Ryan Mallet led the Seattle Seahawks to five consecutive super bowl victories followed by the destruction of the earth, so he's just trying to snipe Ryan out from under Seattle. Amusing, but ultimately pointless. One way or another the Seahawks will conquer the planet, and they won't be stopped by anyone, especially not the 49ers, because those guys are bad at sports. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”may contain peanuts” posted:Well corner was certainly a position of need for the 49ers, but I have no idea who that guy is, and Mayock is saying he should have gone in the 6th round. Should I be happy about this? Should I be happy about anything? Do I deserve happiness, knowing I root for a team that is immeasurably worse than the Seattle Seahawks, and always will be? After the draft, the end was finally near, thanks to the mercy of moderator MorningView. ”may contain peanuts” posted:
”MorningView” posted:Feel free to stop, dude. You've more than lived up to the spirit of the bet and gone way above and beyond the call of duty with this as far as being entertaining goes. If you don't think you can keep it up in an entertaining way then I don't think there's any harm in just calling it. I won't ban you or anything. ”may contain peanuts” posted:Oh, cool. Thanks. And thus, it was over.  (courtesy of Silly Burrito) We of TFF salute you, may contain peanuts. Your toxx brought great joy to all of us in this offseason of uncertainty, and god drat you did this poo poo like a champ. Cheers, mate. 
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May 10, 2011 03:33
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