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ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

E purr si muove.


quote:

Logical examples

9. If evolution were to explain where human beings come from, then every personality type should benefit human life. This is clearly untrue because the world is filled with liars, psychopaths, and murderers. These traits clearly do not benefit humanity

A large hunk of personality arises from your envrionment and upbringing, not your genes. Natural selection can't select those traits out.

Additionally, while natural selection does select for truly altruistic behavior, in some instances pretty brutal and aggressive behavior is selected for because it is competitively advantageous. You can see this in the development of Christianity in fact... used to be a highly pacifistic religion of martyrs. Now the dominant form of Christianity is militant and pushes for political and cultural expansionism.



quote:

Maladaptation

8. Male-pattern baldness has no evolutionary explanation. It is not observed in non-human species, and because it decreases the likelihood of finding a mate, it should have been selected out a long time ago.

Male-pattern baldness usually only occurs after the prime mating age. No contradiction whatsoever. After your teens and early 20s, nature for the most part doesn't really give a poo poo about your own reproductive success.



quote:

Wrong prediction

7. Constantly mutating, drug-resistant pathogens such as MRSA have been demonstrated to be the result of devolution rather than evolution. This is the exact opposite of what evolutionary theory predicts.

What?



quote:

Uncategorized

1. There is excellent evidence indicating that dinosaurs and man coexisted.[35]

9. Scientists have found proof that the first chicken came before the first egg,[39] consistent with a special creation of chickens but not with a gradual descent with modifications from a proto-chicken and proto-egg.

It's kinda amazing how they decide to put up walls of fetid bullshit up before simply mucking around in general ignorance. You'd think Conservapedia would want to work its way gradually to the more outlandish claims.

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Rugoberta Munchu
Jun 5, 2003

Do you want a hupyrolysege slcorpselong?

I love how "No Son of Mine" by Genesis makes it onto the greatest conservative songs page. Well, there are lots of other awesome choices, but that one seems the most likely to have not been listened to.

sloppy_joes
Dec 13, 2010
I DEFEND REDDIT CHILD PORN PEDDLER'S "RIGHT" TO VICTIMIZE TEENAGE GIRLS. PLEASE SEND ME BACK TO REDDIT ASAP WHERE I BELONG. (ALSO I AM A MRA)

M4rg4r1ne posted:

I love how "No Son of Mine" by Genesis makes it onto the greatest conservative songs page. Well, there are lots of other awesome choices, but that one seems the most likely to have not been listened to.

It's like everyone on that site stopped listening to music 20-30 years ago.

Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER

ShadowCatboy posted:

Male-pattern baldness usually only occurs after the prime mating age. No contradiction whatsoever. After your teens and early 20s, nature for the most part doesn't really give a poo poo about your own reproductive success.

I don't think the claim makes sense at all. I thought I read a statistic years ago that women interested in raising a family find baldness attractive, because (being age-correlated) it tends to be associated with maturity and stability.

Angry Avocado
Jun 6, 2010


ShadowCatboy posted:

What?
I interpreted it as "devolution exists, and it's the exact opposite of evolution, so evolution doesn't exist".

Nevermind that "devolution" wouldn't exist if evolution wasn't possible.

ReleasetheKracker!
Oct 8, 2010

by Ozmaugh


DarkPumpkin posted:

So I'm bald because God hates me?

I knew it.

edit: I always assumed it was a function of evolution because we wear clothing and didn't really need the hair anymore.

My guess is its more of an "evolution doesn't care what happens after you are 30 because you are probably dead anyway" thing.

Stalingrad
Feb 5, 2011



Just thought I'd share these, these need to be read in order.





Andrew Layton Schlafly is clearly insane.


Has anyone posted the Schlafly and Obama photo yet?



At the Harvard law review, some people have theorised that Schlafly lost to Obama in the election for review president, but I've not found any evidence of that.

notZaar
Jan 7, 2004

MUH SOCIAL STATUS

DarkPumpkin posted:

So I'm bald because God hates me?

I knew it.

edit: I always assumed it was a function of evolution because we wear clothing and didn't really need the hair anymore.

It's stupid because:
1. Some animals do display MPB, such as gorillas
2. Sometimes MPB does help in sexual selection, it's a sign of maturity. That's mostly among gorillas though, according to Wikipedia. Don't expect it to help you out at the club :I

Maybe the dude who wrote that in the first place is bitter about getting shot down due to his bald spot?

Smudgie Buggler
Feb 27, 2005

If men were actuated by self-interest the whole human race would cooperate.


quote:

Feminism originally was an expression used by suffragettes - who were predominantly pro-life - to obtain the right for women to vote in the early 1900s in the United States and the United Kingdom.
I didn't realise abortion was such a hot topic in the 1910s.

quote:

Abortion is a billion-dollar industry in the United States and Western Europe except for Ireland, Malta and Poland, where it has been abolished.
Abortions have not been abolished in any of these countries and are performed regularly, albeit not 'on tap' as in the USA.

Smudgie Buggler fucked around with this message at May 16, 2011 around 11:49

G. Hosafat
Apr 16, 2003



* Having Christianity used as a means to control the people (Medieval: Total War and it's sequel, Medieval II: Total War)
* Letting players get to be terrorists and perform terrorism (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)
* Yiddish used as a "terrorist" language (Mercenaries II)
* Liberal bullying (Bully)
* Unnecessarily violent torture being used by American soldiers (Call of Duty: Black Ops)

Either the people who sneaked these in have a great sense of humor or have absolutely no self-awareness of ironic statements.

Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010

Fighting Rikti forever, That's just what Giant Robo CoX do.

Stalingrad posted:

Just thought I'd share these, these need to be read in order.





Andrew Layton Schlafly is clearly insane.

I love this. He can't understand that you can parody more than one thing in one way.

duck monster
Dec 15, 2004



Cwapface posted:

I didn't realise abortion was such a hot topic in the 1910s.


Abortion has been around forever. Western women used to use Wormwood decoctions to induce miscarriages, and other cultures had their own procedures. The notion that god hates it is relatively modern however. The bible actually seems to permit abortion via beating the woman, as long as the husband aproves.

duck monster
Dec 15, 2004



G. Hosafat posted:

* Having Christianity used as a means to control the people (Medieval: Total War and it's sequel, Medieval II: Total War)
* Letting players get to be terrorists and perform terrorism (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)
* Yiddish used as a "terrorist" language (Mercenaries II)
* Liberal bullying (Bully)
* Unnecessarily violent torture being used by American soldiers (Call of Duty: Black Ops)

Either the people who sneaked these in have a great sense of humor or have absolutely no self-awareness of ironic statements.

I thought you FOUGHT bullies in Bully. If bullying is liberal , wouldnt that make Bully a conservative game?

Chin Strap
Nov 24, 2002

I failed my TFLC Toxx, but I no longer need a double chin strap

M4rg4r1ne posted:

I love how "No Son of Mine" by Genesis makes it onto the greatest conservative songs page. Well, there are lots of other awesome choices, but that one seems the most likely to have not been listened to.

Christmas Shoes! What a shocker. I am afraid of anyone who can give praise to Christmas Shoes.

Eroto-Bot
Dec 4, 2010


I read the article on Operation Iraqi Freedom and they actually say that WMDS were found in Iraq, as well as connections to Al Qaeda. On top of this, they also said that Saddam was apparently killing 20 thousand people per year.

Apparently George Bush was 100% right while every news agency and investigative force have all been lying.

Eroto-Bot fucked around with this message at May 16, 2011 around 13:12

RoboChrist 9000
Dec 14, 2006

mater dolorosa

duck monster posted:

The bible actually seems to permit abortion via beating the woman, as long as the husband aproves.
I totally believe you, but I'd love to point this out to a friend. If you don't mind a quick derail - where in the Bible, exactly, is this implied?

duck monster
Dec 15, 2004



RoboChrist 9000 posted:

I totally believe you, but I'd love to point this out to a friend. If you don't mind a quick derail - where in the Bible, exactly, is this implied?

Er, I think I mangled the meaning a little via memory, but heres the quote;-

Space Ghost posted:

"And if men struggle with each other and strike a woman with child so that she has a miscarriage, yet there is no further injury, he shall surely be fined as the woman's husband may demand of him; and he shall pay as the judges decide. "But if there is any further injury, then you shall appoint as a penalty life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, (NAS, Exodus 21:22-24)

The implication being that if you whack a chick and she miscarriages, the husband can demand compensation via the courts, but thats all. But if he injures the woman, then he gets busted as someone who hurt a person.

The basic meaning seems to be that a hostile abortion is not to be considered murder or assault (eyes and tooth exchange), except for whatever damage happens to the woman herself. Presumably if you punch a chick in the gut and she miscariages, under strict eye for eye, she can punch you in the gut and you'll probably have to pay her a fine, but thats about it.

Christianity is historically all over the place with abortion, the earliest writers of christianity thought it was murder to poison the fetus, but between the 5th to 16th centuries the idea the soul entering the baby at either "quickening" (When the fetus first starts kicking) or on the first breath post birth (Which I think is the position of genesis?) changed that idea so that it was not murder per se. However 16th to 18th century its decreed murder again, and then after the 18th century we hit feminism and the various struggles for and against it.

Prior to christianity the greeks and romans did not consider fetus's in the first trimester to be people because they had no soul yet, whilst most of jewish judisprudence saw it as infanticide. Not sure how Islamic jurisprudence saw it , although Islam emerges around the time christian thought starts shifting to seeing it as not murder.

duck monster fucked around with this message at May 16, 2011 around 13:56

Nucleic Acids
Apr 10, 2007


Didn't some goon once source a Battlestar Galactica quote to George Washington and have it stay on his page for two years?

ReleasetheKracker!
Oct 8, 2010

by Ozmaugh


Stalingrad posted:

Has anyone posted the Schlafly and Obama photo yet?



At the Harvard law review, some people have theorised that Schlafly lost to Obama in the election for review president, but I've not found any evidence of that.

Ugh, this photo reminded me of what Ivy Leaguers are like. They smell of ambition and fear.

Stalingrad
Feb 5, 2011



I just find it hillarious that a person studied alongside the present president of the United States (and was magna cum laude, just like Obama), and also has a qualification in engineering, now runs a website that claims kangaroos hopped all the way from turkey to australia 5000 years ago.

How does that happen, it really shows that being the son of a crazy rich person, (and a crazy, rich person) is enough for someone not only to get into a great university but to actually do well.
Because there is no loving way Andrew Layton Schlafly is smart enough, I refuse to believe it.

MOLLUSC
Nov 30, 2005



Stalingrad posted:

I just find it hillarious that a person studied alongside the present president of the United States (and was magna cum laude, just like Obama), and also has a qualification in engineering, now runs a website that claims kangaroos hopped all the way from turkey to australia 5000 years ago.

How does that happen, it really shows that being the son of a crazy rich person, (and a crazy, rich person) is enough for someone not only to get into a great university but to actually do well.
Because there is no loving way Andrew Layton Schlafly is smart enough, I refuse to believe it.

Being raised by insane, surprise sex apologist parents probably didn't help.

gvibes
Jan 18, 2010

Leading us to the promised land (i.e., one tournament win in five years)

Fuschia tude posted:

I don't think the claim makes sense at all. I thought I read a statistic years ago that women interested in raising a family find baldness attractive, because (being age-correlated) it tends to be associated with maturity and stability.
Doesn't pattern baldness have some correlation to higher testosterone levels?

Stalingrad
Feb 5, 2011



MOLLUSC posted:

Being raised by insane, surprise sex apologist parents probably didn't help.

Well it helped him get into university.

Btw Andy has a gay brother, and it's really not talked about.

I have read far too much rationalwiki, because conservapedia is in my daily "laugh at crazies" section of the day.

tankadillo
Aug 15, 2006



G. Hosafat posted:

* Having Christianity used as a means to control the people (Medieval: Total War and it's sequel, Medieval II: Total War)
* Letting players get to be terrorists and perform terrorism (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)
* Yiddish used as a "terrorist" language (Mercenaries II)
* Liberal bullying (Bully)
* Unnecessarily violent torture being used by American soldiers (Call of Duty: Black Ops)

Either the people who sneaked these in have a great sense of humor or have absolutely no self-awareness of ironic statements.
I like the idea that Call of Duty, the most jingoistic game series around right now, is apparently anti-American.

Sometimes I try to write a post describing just how absurd every aspect of Conservapedia is but I just can't do it. There's so much to say.

House Louse
Oct 21, 2010


duck monster posted:

The implication being that if you whack a chick and she miscarriages, the husband can demand compensation via the courts, but thats all. But if he injures the woman, then he gets busted as someone who hurt a person.

The basic meaning seems to be that a hostile abortion is not to be considered murder or assault (eyes and tooth exchange), except for whatever damage happens to the woman herself. Presumably if you punch a chick in the gut and she miscariages, under strict eye for eye, she can punch you in the gut and you'll probably have to pay her a fine, but thats about it.

I'm not sure of this reading at all. This passage (Exodus 21:22-25) seems to imply that it's only okay if you hit the woman by accident; possibly only if the accident occurs while two people are fighting, presumably over alleged infidelity. Definitely check with your rabbi before you kick your girlfriend in the stomach.

duck monster posted:

Not sure how Islamic jurisprudence saw it , although Islam emerges around the time christian thought starts shifting to seeing it as not murder.

IIRC, Islamic law is split on the subject, but I think it mostly argues that life begins at quickening (40 days for boys, 80 for girls, which I think follows Aristotle rather than being natively Muslim bigotry).

The Brown Menace
Dec 24, 2010

Now comes in all colors.


Angry Avocado posted:

I interpreted it as "devolution exists, and it's the exact opposite of evolution, so evolution doesn't exist".

Nevermind that "devolution" wouldn't exist if evolution wasn't possible.

Devolution as a concept is incorrect as hell btw.

Any evolutionary adaptation to the environment is evolution, regardless of whether it adds new facilities or removes them.

Razorwired
Dec 7, 2008

It's about to start!

Chin Strap posted:

Christmas Shoes! What a shocker. I am afraid of anyone who can give praise to Christmas Shoes.

Considering what Patton Oswalt thought of how that song portrays God I'm not surprised Conservapedia loves it.

Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010


duck monster posted:

I thought you FOUGHT bullies in Bully. If bullying is liberal , wouldnt that make Bully a conservative game?
You do, but you also can shove kids into lockers be a general terror if you want to. The Halloween main story mission, at the very least, has you prank people.

raezr posted:

I like the idea that Call of Duty, the most jingoistic game series around right now, is apparently anti-American.
There was a story section in Modern Warfare 2 where you take the perspective of a deep cover CIA agent who joins a group of Russian terrorists as they carry out an airport massacre. You don't have to kill anyone, but you can't interfere.

Nostrum
Jul 26, 2005


I think the connection between Islam and SC2 is very clear.

The Zerg have two units (Infected Terran and Scourge) which blow themselves up as their primary attacks. They use these units to conquer worlds. EXACTLY like Islam does on Earth.

Seriously, I think this is what they're on about.

Orange Devil
Sep 30, 2010

Waar is da feestje?

HIER IS DA FEESTJE!



In the SC2 single player campaign, you play Jim Raynor, a terrorist who violently resists and eventually overthrows the large Terran Federation. Since all Muslims are terrorists, and this game has the terrorists winning, clearly this game sends pro-Islamic messages.

Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010


Orange Devil posted:

In the SC2 single player campaign, you play Jim Raynor, a terrorist who violently resists and eventually overthrows the large Terran Federation. Since all Muslims are terrorists, and this game has the terrorists winning, clearly this game sends pro-Islamic messages.

You also fight againt a particularly fanatical group of Protoss Templar. The Knights Templar fought against Muslims during the Crusades, so that makes you one too.

Zeitgueist
Aug 8, 2003


My favorite thing on Conservapedia is when Shlafly attempts to 'debunk' research showing evolution in E. Coli bacteria. He ends up corresponding with the guy who did the study, and is destroyed rather thoroughly.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Conser...a:Lenski_dialog

appropriatemetaphor
Jan 26, 2006



Zeitgueist posted:

My favorite thing on Conservapedia is when Shlafly attempts to 'debunk' research showing evolution in E. Coli bacteria. He ends up corresponding with the guy who did the study, and is destroyed rather thoroughly.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Conser...a:Lenski_dialog

I dunno, seems like a prime example of Professor Values to me.

duck monster
Dec 15, 2004



House Louse posted:

I'm not sure of this reading at all. This passage (Exodus 21:22-25) seems to imply that it's only okay if you hit the woman by accident; possibly only if the accident occurs while two people are fighting, presumably over alleged infidelity. Definitely check with your rabbi before you kick your girlfriend in the stomach.
Fair enough. Its all splitting hairs on ancient verses really

quote:

IIRC, Islamic law is split on the subject, but I think it mostly argues that life begins at quickening (40 days for boys, 80 for girls, which I think follows Aristotle rather than being natively Muslim bigotry).

That'd make a lot of sense actually. Through a lot of Islamic history, muslim academics where fairly keen on greek moral philosophy, particularly Aristotle (In the same way catholic academia via Aquinas did).

duck monster
Dec 15, 2004



Zeitgueist posted:

My favorite thing on Conservapedia is when Shlafly attempts to 'debunk' research showing evolution in E. Coli bacteria. He ends up corresponding with the guy who did the study, and is destroyed rather thoroughly.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Conser...a:Lenski_dialog

Lensky in that was amazingly patient in the scheme of things. My first reaction would have been a sharp short "Dear sir, Get hosed looney! Sincerely yours". For all of shafly's indignation, he really was treated quite well by the good doctor. Granted he does engage in a little bit of owneage in the second letter.

Vivian Darkbloom
Jul 14, 2004
Generic poster who whines about the mods to get attention.


Zeitgueist posted:

My favorite thing on Conservapedia is when Shlafly attempts to 'debunk' research showing evolution in E. Coli bacteria. He ends up corresponding with the guy who did the study, and is destroyed rather thoroughly.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Conser...a:Lenski_dialog

See http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Lenski_Affair for more complete coverage. Really, just see everything on RationalWiki, it's obsessive coverage of lots of the great stuff on CP.

Deuce
Jun 18, 2004
Mile High Club

Nostrum posted:

I think the connection between Islam and SC2 is very clear.

The Zerg have two units (Infected Terran and Scourge) which blow themselves up as their primary attacks. They use these units to conquer worlds. EXACTLY like Islam does on Earth.

Seriously, I think this is what they're on about.

You speak crazy fluently! Where did you learn?

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


IM_DA_DECIDER posted:

The entire page http://www.conservapedia.com/Conser...arables#Welfare
Amazing

Seriously, look at this poo poo:

quote:

The Lost $40

One day a teenager received $40 from his father. The teenager then had to drive somewhere, and he put the $40 on the seat of his car. After going in and out of the car several times, and driving with the windows open, the $40 was gone. He searched and searched for it, but could not find it anywhere.

He then spent dozens of hours agonizing over the lost $40, obsessed with having lost it. It bothered him for weeks, even months. He still remembered it years later.

One day he realized that, based on the prevailing wage for teenagers of $8 per hour, that $40 was worth no more than about 6 hours of his time (after taxes). If he had simply worked rather than worry, he would have quickly "found" the $40 and accomplished something in the process.

It's like his entire life is one of those black and white segments in a TV ad.

quote:

The Drowning Man

A conservative and a liberal are walking along the beach when they see a man drowning a hundred feet off shore. The conservative throws him a 50 foot rope and shouts to the victim "You provide the other fifty feet." The liberal throws the man a 200 foot rope...and lets go of both ends.

What the hell I don't even

appropriatemetaphor
Jan 26, 2006



I like how the liberal lets go of "both" ends. Isn't it assumed that one end is already let go of? Or is the conservative actually holding both ends of the 50 foot rope, thus creating a 25 foot loop. Meaning when the drowning man pulls a 50 foot rope out of the ether he'll still drown.

Also even if the drowning man had a 50 foot rope, he'd have to swim 50 feet to tie his 50 foot rope to the---ughhhh

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Kainser
Apr 27, 2010

O'er the sea from the north
there sails a ship
With the people of Hel
at the helm stands Loki
After the wolf
do wild men follow


Stalingrad posted:

I just find it hillarious that a person studied alongside the present president of the United States (and was magna cum laude, just like Obama), and also has a qualification in engineering, now runs a website that claims kangaroos hopped all the way from turkey to australia 5000 years ago.

How does that happen, it really shows that being the son of a crazy rich person, (and a crazy, rich person) is enough for someone not only to get into a great university but to actually do well.
Because there is no loving way Andrew Layton Schlafly is smart enough, I refuse to believe it.
There is a theory that Schlafy used to be a relatively well adjusted person, but then something happened and he turned into the crazy person he is today.

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