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I almost always get BV after treating yeast (and I'm one of those delicate flowers allergic to lube, latex, most brands of sex toys, scented products or detergents, etc. so have plenty of experience with both problems.) and that does not sound like BV. BV is an annoyance at worst and the worst it seems to do is give you almost yeastlike levels of burning downstairs. I did have PID once and had a low consistent fever, horrible lower back/pelvic pain and abnormal cervical fluid. They never officially diagnosed it because it's apparently difficult to do so, but they gave me meds for it and it went away. So yeah, voice the concern of PID with your doctor. All it takes is a mild infection to travel up and cause complications for PID to happen.
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| # ? May 13, 2012 00:42 |
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| # ? May 21, 2013 11:01 |
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Boyfriend is 30, and for the first year of our relationship we were having sex at a twice a month minimum. This past year, though, it'll be a few months between each really mediocre session. He has apologized and admitted to me that he really hasn't been feeling the drive for a while, but is this something that will go away if I sit it out a little while longer or does he need to get himself checked out?
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| # ? May 13, 2012 04:53 |
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It's been a year, it's time for him to figure out what's causing it and then you can figure out together what the resolution for the problem is.
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| # ? May 13, 2012 04:54 |
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Zhii posted:Boyfriend is 30, and for the first year of our relationship we were having sex at a twice a month minimum. This past year, though, it'll be a few months between each really mediocre session. He has apologized and admitted to me that he really hasn't been feeling the drive for a while, but is this something that will go away if I sit it out a little while longer or does he need to get himself checked out? Could be physical. has he gained weight? I've noticed in my quest for losing poundage that the better I eat and the more I exercise the more my Libido has risen. For awhile when I reached my peak weight (never again reaching that high!) I was feeling lethargic and sometimes unwilling due to various reasons... It sounds stupid but it can happen if you wander down that road to far. Amazing how losing 20 pounds can change that (and I plan on losing more!) If he has been gaining weight or been eating bad, a change of diet might get him back in the saddle. Could also be psychological... Have you confronted him about this? Talk with him and figure out what's up. If it's a noticeable change in his behavior then you should at least check on him and tell him also how you feel. Plus gauging his reaction might help you clue in on the problem even if he doesn't fully explain it.
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| # ? May 13, 2012 05:18 |
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Is he on any medication?
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| # ? May 13, 2012 05:21 |
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He's actually been exercising more, as well as eating better. He and a group of people at his workplace have been working on losing weight together. He's down seven pounds in two months.  No medication that I am aware of. He does take a daily vitamin. I'll try and get a good, serious conversation in with him tomorrow evening.
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| # ? May 13, 2012 05:34 |
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I stopped partly because stress was making me really gassy and farting/burping during sex was the last thing I ever wanted to do.
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| # ? May 13, 2012 08:17 |
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Fluctuations in libido are normal. However, after a year of low libido he should go get checked out by a doctor. See if he can get a referral to an endocrinologist. My fiancee and I had a similar problem and it turned out he had low testosterone. A testosterone supplement to get his levels back up to normal solved the problem in a week, which was amazing. As other posters have mentioned, stress and depression can have huge effects on libido. If you don't have health insurance/can't see a doctor, it may help for y'all to have sexual situations that focus on you and your orgasm, while taking the emphasis off of PIV sex. Sometimes your arousal will spark his, and learning more about what gets you off is excellent for any relationship. In addition, some people feel pressure when they are expected to perform, and that stress can effect libido. Have an honest and non-accusatory conversation about how lack of sex/intimacy is affecting you, and see what possible solutions or stop gap measures y'all can figure out to help the problem.
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| # ? May 13, 2012 17:51 |
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SunknLiner posted:My current relationship is kind of a reverse of what's been talked about here the last few pages. My girlfriend comes pretty easily from PiV, and has multiples. I on the other hand can take quite a while to come. I could probably work one out in around 10 minutes, but I'd end up with a headache at the end. Usually we're going about 30 minutes before I start to feel that telltale *tickle*. My girlfriend likes longer sex, so this hasn't been a problem, but there are times when shoehorning in a "quickie" would be nice and refreshing for both of us... Any tips for helping me come faster?? No deathgrip problems here, and we don't use condoms so those aren't an issue either. Sex feels absolutely amazing - it just takes a while for me to build up to that point of no return. I didn't have this issue to such a degree when I was married. I could usually last as long, or as short as my wife and I wanted. I've since divorced and moved on to a more attractive and tighter (maybe the issue?) girlfriend. You'd think this would have the opposite effect, no?? My question got lost a couple of pages ago - just wanted to pull it forward.
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| # ? May 15, 2012 12:03 |
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Masturbate less? Masturbate whilst getting her warmed up so you're closer by the time you put the penis in the vagina? Or figure out some positions that are more stimulating for you? I'm not sure what you've tried, but there are some ideas for you.
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| # ? May 15, 2012 16:36 |
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SunknLiner posted:My question got lost a couple of pages ago - just wanted to pull it forward. Get more used to her is all I've got. The first 20-30 times my girl and I had sex, I was 30 minutes at the very least, but now that I'm entirely comfortable with her, I can finish in 10 or so minutes. Reverse performance anxiety, is that a thing?
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| # ? May 16, 2012 07:24 |
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I've just started seeing a girl who's a virgin. We've tried sex a few times now (over two separate nights) but she's very tight and it's painful for her. We're not really sure what to do. We're using lube, and taking plenty of time to get warmed up etc. She said she thinks I just need to be 'more forceful', because 'it's bound to hurt the first time so we just need to get it over with'. I've never slept with a virgin before so I don't know, but I feel a bit uneasy about that. In any case, even if I wanted to 'force my way in', it's easier said than done. Any advice?
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:23 |
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Whitefish posted:I've just started seeing a girl who's a virgin. We've tried sex a few times now (over two separate nights) but she's very tight and it's painful for her. We're not really sure what to do. We're using lube, and taking plenty of time to get warmed up etc. She said she thinks I just need to be 'more forceful', because 'it's bound to hurt the first time so we just need to get it over with'. I've never slept with a virgin before so I don't know, but I feel a bit uneasy about that. In any case, even if I wanted to 'force my way in', it's easier said than done. I'm in a similar situation. I was a virgin before I met my current boyfriend, and while we've tried PiV with all of the same preparations that Whitefish has been doing, it still hurts to the point of being not enjoyable at all for me. We use a lot of lube and plenty of foreplay, and we've tried some different positions, but we haven't found anything that really works to ease that pain. The nice ladies at Planned Parenthood said to keep trying and it's going to suck for a while, but it's sort of discouraging every time we try. We were both tested as soon as we became monogamous and we are both STD-free. I'm on Yaz for my Pill, and we use condoms every single time. Is there anything else we could try/should do?
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:49 |
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Firstly, don't necessarily make PiV the goal. Great if you can do that during sexytimes, but if you don't get it that far? Don't sweat it. The first time I had sex I had... however long the Rocky Horror Picture Show runs worth of foreplay, and it went smoothly. Though before that I masturbated with my fingers a lot. Lots of fingering, mutual masturbation, and pretty much anything else you can do together that isn't PiV helps. Of course trying PiV is fine, but if there's no pressure, it's a lot easier to enjoy your time together. I didn't really have a typical first time experience, to be honest. I remember my legs hurting a lot more than anything else. Though stopping when its not working and either lubing up, switching to more foreplay, or just finishing up there are all good ideas to try.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:02 |
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Wow, I'm surprised that's not in the OP; I feel like it comes up a lot. Short answer: NO. Long answer: No. Pain isn't necessary, and it's a bad idea on a number of levels. There might be some discomfort (or there might not), but that doesn't mean anyone should go "Well it's gonna hurt anyway, so just ram it in." You aren't ripping off a Band-Aid here. You're supposed to be having fun, and you're laying a pattern for all future sex. First of all, you should understand the anatomy involved. It's really common to think that the hymen is like smooth, thick saran wrap spread across the entrance, and you just have to bludgeon through that with a blunt weapon. Turns out, trusting your high-school health class is a bad idea for so many reasons. The hymen is farther in, and it already has holes in it! Holes that you can slowly, gradually turn into a bigger hole. With that in mind, I suggest chilling. Take your time getting to know each other's bodies with your hands, mouths, and whatever else. It's easier if you think of PIV not as "THE GOAL" but just as another potentially fun thing you could add to your repertoire. If it happens on any given night, it happens; if not, who cares, there are lots of other good things to do. Tension is obviously going to be counterproductive for everyone involved. Also, duh, make sure you have a relaxed environment. If you're cramped in a backseat or you're straining your ears for parents, that's not going to be conducive to fun. Plenty of lube and extensive warmup are obvious. What's not always obvious is that you don't have to go exploring with the penis. If you've already realized that hurts, does one finger feel okay? Two? We're talking about really gentle handling here, not fingerblasting. Whatever you can accomplish in a session is totally fine. If two minutes feels good, but five minutes hurts, stop trying after two minutes and switch to something you already know you like. Mild discomfort/stretching is fine, outright pain is not worth it. If you rip off the Band-Aid, it's not just going to hurt when you rip it, it's going to be damaged again every time you try, and it's going to set up a really bad pattern of "PIV hurts me, but I'll be stoic and keep quiet about it so my partner can get off." Needless to say, this is a terrible mindset to get into. Obviously you both already know there are some fit issues, so this doesn't apply, but for any virgins reading this and getting nervous: don't panic. The idea that it's definitely going to hurt is common, but pretty baseless. Plenty of women don't even have hymens!
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:22 |
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Is Lifestyles SKYN a good condom? I've seen really conflicting things about it.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 04:19 |
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Is it possible for labia to change when you first start having sex? Half of mine has been sticking out for a few years now, and I don't remember it being like this in high school and the like, and I'm starting to think something happened when I became sexually active. It's not very far out, but it's really uncomfortable sometimes, especially right after I've had sex (it's probably just more sensitive). Is there any possible way to fix it, outside labiaplasty? 
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| # ? May 17, 2012 05:08 |
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This might be bettr off in the birth control megathread but does anyone know if the mirena coil can be knocked out of place, and would there be any obvious symptoms if it it had been? We were using a pretty large toy that was being used fairly forcefully rather than a penis - I felt pain then warmth high up in vagina, then after we finished I went to the toilet and was bleeding. Stopped bleeding by this morning but I feel a bit 'delicate'.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 06:46 |
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Jyrraeth posted:Firstly, don't necessarily make PiV the goal. Great if you can do that during sexytimes, but if you don't get it that far? Don't sweat it. The first time I had sex I had... however long the Rocky Horror Picture Show runs worth of foreplay, and it went smoothly. Though before that I masturbated with my fingers a lot. Anne Whateley posted:Wow, I'm surprised that's not in the OP; I feel like it comes up a lot. Short answer: NO. Thanks for this, it's helpful. I told her last night that I thought that it's probably just a case of needing to get used to it gradually. So it's good to have that confirmed.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 09:19 |
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hookerbot 5000 posted:This might be bettr off in the birth control megathread but does anyone know if the mirena coil can be knocked out of place, and would there be any obvious symptoms if it it had been? We were using a pretty large toy that was being used fairly forcefully rather than a penis - I felt pain then warmth high up in vagina, then after we finished I went to the toilet and was bleeding. Stopped bleeding by this morning but I feel a bit 'delicate'. You probably bumped your cervix. It hurts. A lot. And sometimes bleeds. If your mirena was effected you'd be in way, way more pain. uberwekkness posted:Is it possible for labia to change when you first start having sex? Your labia might be getting pushed into your vagina during sex, which can cause stretching, pain, and so forth. The best way to avoid this is lube. Your vulva was probably still growing in high school, thats why it didn't look the same way it does now. Edit: clarity. sporkupine fucked around with this message at May 17, 2012 around 12:52 |
| # ? May 17, 2012 12:50 |
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uberwekkness posted:Is it possible for labia to change when you first start having sex? Half of mine has been sticking out for a few years now, and I don't remember it being like this in high school and the like, and I'm starting to think something happened when I became sexually active. Mine hangs out a little bit too, and I've found that the biggest thing is making sure it's spread open before penetration so none of it gets dragged in. Simple as reaching down and holding it open. For day to day, my experience is that certain types of undergarments are more or less comfortable. If you're experiencing chafing or uncomfortable compression, maybe switch to a different material or cut of underwear? I also find that jeans with a hard seam at the crotch hurt like hell, especially if I cross my legs and my labia gets squished up against the seam. Labiaplasty is probably a bit extreme unless you're really having problems with it.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 14:57 |
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Hopefully this question isn't too relationship-y for the sex questions megathread, but I figured this might be the place to ask. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. He's 19 and I'm 18, he's a virgin and I'm not. He keeps telling me that he wants to lose his virginity to me, and that he wants to have sex, but he won't loving do it! Three months ago it was, "I'm scared you'll get pregnant." No problem, I'll get back on birth control. Then it was, "I still want to use condoms and I don't have any condoms." Okay, I bought condoms. And then, "I'm not ready yet." That's totally fine, I wasn't ready for a long time either and I understand. And lately it's, "I'm ready now but I want it to be special. Like I want us to be able to spend the day doing nice stuff together and I want us to be able to spend the night together." Okay, allow me to set aside three separate occasions in which we spend the day doing awesome stuff together, just the two of us, and then you can sleep over at my house. Yesterday, for the third time, we had seriously exactly what he defines as his idea of a special day and it was awesome, and then he slept over at my house, and we had the house to ourselves, and it was just the two of us all night. And we didn't have sex. It's not like I was waiting for him to initiate it, either; I was making moves and hinting and doing what we usually do when we get sexual. And that's the thing, is we do other sexual things together and it's awesome, so I don't think it's that he's not attracted to me or he's not interested in being sexual with me. I don't know what it is. And, obviously from the multiple answers/excuses I've gotten from him, we've talked about it several times, and he even expressed that it's not that he's nervous or scared at all; he just "wants it to be special," which, all told, is super sweet and adorable, but I'm also starting to feel like I can never please him or live up to this idea he has of exactly how he wants to lose his virginity. For what it's worth I'm not mad or upset and I'm never a dick to him about it, because I don't want to pressure him too much and make him uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I love him and want to jump his bones. Do I just have to wait? Because I feel like I've been doing that for 5 months now. Help me goons, I just want to get laid by my own boyfriend without forcing him into something he's not ready for.
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| # ? May 19, 2012 18:35 |
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It sounds like it could be a lot of things here. Maybe he's still not ready, but doesn't want to come right out and say that anymore. Maybe he's worried about how his performance will be the first time out and is afraid to try. Maybe there's something in his past that's given him major issues with sex. Or maybe it's just like he says and he's got his first time built up as being this huge deal that has to be special/perfect. I guess you could try and talk some more to figure out his exact definition of "special," like down to the last detail because it sounds like he's got something in mind. Although personally I think that's a little unrealistic and asking a lot of you. Otherwise I'm not sure what you can do here because clearly something is holding him back and it sounds like either he's not sure what it is himself or he just isn't willing to come out with it completely.
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| # ? May 19, 2012 19:30 |
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NaturalLow posted:It sounds like it could be a lot of things here. Maybe he's still not ready, but doesn't want to come right out and say that anymore. Maybe he's worried about how his performance will be the first time out and is afraid to try. Maybe there's something in his past that's given him major issues with sex. Or maybe it's just like he says and he's got his first time built up as being this huge deal that has to be special/perfect. I hadn't thought about him not even knowing what it is that's holding him back; that seems kind of characteristic of him. And it seems somewhat more likely than him knowing and not telling me, because he tells me a lot of deeply personal and often embarrassing poo poo. I just feel like every time I try talking to him about what he wants specifically, he doesn't really give me details. He gives me examples of things we've already done together that he liked a lot, i.e. I'll ask "what's your idea of a special day?" and he'll say "oh you know like that day we went hiking for hours and took pictures? That was so great. Stuff like that is really special." And then we do stuff like that again and have a great time and it's still not That Certain Kind Of Special, or something? He's also really sensitive and I'm worried that bringing this up too much will hurt his feelings, or make him feel like I'm disappointed in him for not having sex with me, which I'm not. But I don't know what else to do other than just wait it out, which is what I feel like I've been doing for a long time now.
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| # ? May 19, 2012 20:13 |
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Budget Bears posted:I hadn't thought about him not even knowing what it is that's holding him back; that seems kind of characteristic of him. And it seems somewhat more likely than him knowing and not telling me, because he tells me a lot of deeply personal and often embarrassing poo poo. I just feel like every time I try talking to him about what he wants specifically, he doesn't really give me details. He gives me examples of things we've already done together that he liked a lot, i.e. I'll ask "what's your idea of a special day?" and he'll say "oh you know like that day we went hiking for hours and took pictures? That was so great. Stuff like that is really special." And then we do stuff like that again and have a great time and it's still not That Certain Kind Of Special, or something? Maybe he's just really nervous and thinks that something is wrong with that? I think some people get kind of a romanticized notion that if it's The Right Time they won't be nervous at all, so if they are then it must not be time yet. But that's purely baseless speculation on my part. As for my previous post, I was just thinking he kind of sounded like he had a really specific scenario in mind. Like a certain place, music, candles, whatever. It's a little unusual for guys, but certainly not impossible.
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| # ? May 19, 2012 22:06 |
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WickedIcon posted:Is Lifestyles SKYN a good condom? I've seen really conflicting things about it.
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| # ? May 20, 2012 05:11 |
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RazorBunny posted:Labiaplasty is probably a bit extreme unless you're really having problems with it. Yeah, like I said. Other than that. :P I'd need to be much more uncomfortable with my junk before I resorted to that.
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| # ? May 20, 2012 07:22 |
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Whitefish posted:I've just started seeing a girl who's a virgin. We've tried sex a few times now (over two separate nights) but she's very tight and it's painful for her. We're not really sure what to do. We're using lube, and taking plenty of time to get warmed up etc. She said she thinks I just need to be 'more forceful', because 'it's bound to hurt the first time so we just need to get it over with'. I've never slept with a virgin before so I don't know, but I feel a bit uneasy about that. In any case, even if I wanted to 'force my way in', it's easier said than done.
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| # ? May 20, 2012 07:51 |
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NaturalLow posted:Maybe he's just really nervous and thinks that something is wrong with that? I think some people get kind of a romanticized notion that if it's The Right Time they won't be nervous at all, so if they are then it must not be time yet. But that's purely baseless speculation on my part. See if you can get him to have a look at one of those "my first time" websites; if he's got some kind of fixed idea of How Things Should Be First Time that might help shake it loose.
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| # ? May 20, 2012 09:08 |
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I'd take it that there isn't really any particular way to reduce the effect of alcohol on the ability to reach and maintain an erect state outside of removing other negative factors and reducing the amount of alcohol involved in general, right?
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| # ? May 20, 2012 17:23 |
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Move your hand, palm down and flat, in a clockwise direction over your flacid penis while whispering "whiskey dick whiskey dick whiskey dick" until you feel the first stirrings of life.
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| # ? May 20, 2012 17:30 |
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Benagain posted:Move your hand, palm down and flat, in a clockwise direction over your flacid penis while whispering "whiskey dick whiskey dick whiskey dick" until you feel the first stirrings of life. Holy crap, it works!!!
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| # ? May 20, 2012 17:52 |
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Budget Bears posted:He's also really sensitive and I'm worried that bringing this up too much will hurt his feelings, or make him feel like I'm disappointed in him for not having sex with me, which I'm not. But I don't know what else to do other than just wait it out, which is what I feel like I've been doing for a long time now. He's a wimpy little poo poo, dump his sorry rear end and find yourself a real man.
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| # ? May 20, 2012 22:57 |
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cactuscarpet posted:He's a wimpy little poo poo, dump his sorry rear end and find yourself a real man. He's a virgin and, like many virgins, has the idea that sex is this huge thing; a sort of rite of passage that he finds intimidating. Chill out. He's not a "wimpy little poo poo", he's just naive. Budget Bears, this guy of yours seems to have massive expectations regarding sex (be it either his performance or the social attitudes about sex). It'll be difficult to shake that "sex is super special and my first time has to be perfect" mindset he has going on, but at the very least he needs to be reassured that he needs sexual experience to shake his anxieties. Nobody is born a sex god.
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| # ? May 20, 2012 23:06 |
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If he wants A SPECIAL DAYYYY, I think your best bet might be to give him a rousing speech about how your whole relationship is special. Remember the time when you were making dinner but you burned it, or you were out hiking but got lost and didn't make it to the top of the mountain, or whatever other story -- and even then, it was still totally great because you were spending time together? Same thing for sex, it'll still be special and fun and awesome even if the rose petals are the wrong color, or somebody comes too fast, or sweaty bodies make funny noises. If this doesn't motivate him, at least to tell you exactly what he's holding out for, it might be time to think about your options. He sounds like he's not ready, and you can't force him to be. Also, whoever was asking about Skyn, A++.
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| # ? May 21, 2012 01:05 |
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I want a hard toy for anal but I don't want jelly or ridges. Any suggestions?
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| # ? May 21, 2012 20:56 |
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Does anyone else get a nauseating, empty-stomach feeling the day after anal sex? I just want to know if this is a normal response, which it very well could be, or if it was too vigorous or was caused by a certain type of lube. I use Gun Oil silicone lubricant.
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| # ? May 21, 2012 21:40 |
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Tig Ol Bitties posted:Does anyone else get a nauseating, empty-stomach feeling the day after anal sex? I just want to know if this is a normal response, which it very well could be, or if it was too vigorous or was caused by a certain type of lube. I use Gun Oil silicone lubricant. I've never had nausea specifically, but I've definitely noticed my stomach is a lot more "rumbly" and kind of upset for a little while the day after. Something to consider is that just like with vaginal sex, air can get pushed in there if things get pretty vigorous which might contribute to some discomfort (along with some spectacular sound effects.  )
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| # ? May 21, 2012 21:57 |
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GreenBuckanneer posted:I want a hard toy for anal but I don't want jelly or ridges. Any suggestions? Define "hard." We have a silicone plug (Pleasure Plug 2) by Happy Valley and it is amazing. Mak0rz fucked around with this message at May 21, 2012 around 22:04 |
| # ? May 21, 2012 22:02 |
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| # ? May 21, 2013 11:01 |
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Mak0rz posted:Define "hard." We have a silicone plug (Pleasure Plug 2) by Happy Valley and it is amazing. Like a vibrator shape with a base flare, something not to fill and keep in but to play with.
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| # ? May 21, 2012 22:12 |
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