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RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



ownage police posted:

Also, it probably is due to the use of medication. That didn't even dawn on me. In addition to the gel, I'm also on erythromycin.

I have fairly frequent UTIs, and every single time I go to the doctor for one, they give me an antibiotic and it clears right up - and within a few days of starting the antibiotic, I have a rampant yeast infection. It's gotten to the point now that my doctor prescribes me an oral treatment (don't remember the drug) at the same time as the antibiotic.

Not terribly uncommon, I'm told. It's got something to do with the antibiotics killing things besides the bacteria that cause the initial infection, and throwing off the balance in your lady parts. Some people are more susceptible than others.

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RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Lackadaisical posted:

Interesting. There are no effects for men?

The number they gave us in sex ed was 80/20 - 80% of men will be asymptomatic. Not sure how accurate that is.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



I ended up with a lot fewer UTIs when I figured out I was allergic to latex. Definitely try other kinds of condoms. Spermicides and lubricants are also major culprits - even if she's not allergic to spermicide, it can be very irritating to sensitive tissue.

Also, make sure she's well lubricated before penetration. Anything that irritates the tissue around the urethra can contribute to UTIs.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Skywriter posted:

Alternately, shower before sex.

In my experience this makes absolutely no difference. Washing with soap and water gets rid of a certain amount of bacteria, yes. Getting rid of latex condoms and urinating as soon as possible after intercourse have been the only two things that reduce my frequency for UTIs. I guess someone else's mileage may vary, but if it were me, I wouldn't rely on a shower to take care of the problem.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



We had a huge outbreak of herpes infections at my high school that was traced back to a single member of a visiting school's wrestling team who had open facial sores and rubbed them all over the mats during the normal course of a match. Stranger things have happened. I believe one of the guys did have some permanent damage to his eye from it.

I don't think chlamydia lives very long outside the body, so I imagine it would have had to have been direct contact with fresh bodily fluids. Wow, that's shudder-inducing.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Also a lubricant question - I'm guessing from the OP that silicone lubricants are going to be my best bet for shower sex? Last night I got a reaffirmation that very little else gets me hotter, but wow the chafing by the end. I'd like to find something that won't rinse off too easily.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Thanks Noctone. I ordered a bottle of Pjur from Adam & Eve, along with a nifty little suction-cup foot rest shelf thing designed for shower funtimes that will also make shaving my legs a hell of a lot easier. And a Batman porn parody. All in all, a good haul, in my opinion.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



GWBBQ posted:

If you use the coupon code ' SAVAGE' you get half off of most stuff, 3 free DVDS, and a free toy. Everyone here should be listening to Savage Love anyway.

Good to know for next time

I don't listen to the podcasts, but I do read the advice column.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Lowen SoDium posted:

This is getting off topic, but she asked me to go as Green Arrow, but I declined since I have red-ish hair and a bright red goatee and its hard to go from red to blond with out getting orange instead.

Really, that's your excuse? If you can manage the tights and not look like a fatass, no one's going to care about the color of your hair and goatee.

quote:

Also, for what it matters, the Black Canary costume is for a Con, not for sex purposes. At least for now

As a pretty avid costumer, I would personally recommend keeping convention costumes and sexy funtime costumes as two entirely separate things. It never seems to go well otherwise.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



I just finished a round of Cipro to treat a UTI, then a dose of fluconazole (oral antifungal) to treat the raging yeast infection I always get when I take antibiotics. I was also on my period. Plus my stepson is giving me and my husband all kinds of grief right now (normal teenage stuff), which has left both of us emotionally and physically exhausted and not in the mood to even hug.

Someday I'll have sex again, I guess

JoeyJoJo, do you sweat a lot in your groin area? I had a friend who would get little skin tears in any area of her body where there was friction (underarms, crotch, back of the knee sometimes) because she sweated a lot and it caused irritation. A combination of oral medication and a topical ointment that dried smooth and powdery helped her a lot.

I suppose it could also be a dryness issue as well. Maybe your rear end is literally chapped?

It might be worthwhile to go in and see a dermatologist rather than a GP or your OB/GYN. If it's not an STI or yeast-related, it could be something outside the expertise of someone whose specialty is not skin. Monistat won't hurt you if you don't have a yeast infection, as far as I know, but if it's not treating the problem, you're just throwing away money.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



I don't find masturbation particularly satisfying either, in a similar way to what Cichlid describes. A few of my female friends over the years have reported the same. I don't think it's necessarily something to be worried about. I find that it's significantly more enjoyable if I'm watching porn - maybe you're just not stimulating your brain when you're touching your body?

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



I finally got a chance to try out the Pjur in the shower. Fantastic! I think I used too much, though - it kind of got all over us and some of it ended up on the floor, where it made things a little exciting (note to self: if shower funtimes are going to become a common thing, buy a non-slip mat...). Getting it off my body afterward was a little bit challenging, even with soap, but it doesn't feel greasy or unpleasant on my skin where there's still a little residue. Next time I'll definitely use less.

Might try it for some lube-assisted hand jobs in the future, that part was fun I'm abysmally awful at handies, my palms sweat just enough to cause unpleasant friction.

Thanks for the recommendation, sex thread!

Also, anyone else listening to the new Sex Nerd Sandra podcast from Nerdist? I'm still not 100% on her, but I've picked up a few interesting tips from the episodes so far.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Everything I've seen from recent research has suggested that female ejaculatory fluids are primarily composed of blood plasma and is produced by the Skene's gland.

For anyone curious about the history of sex research and some of the absolute truths that have now been shown to be inaccurate, Mary Roach's book Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex is an excellent resource.

Dr. Drew considers himself a psychiatrist. His focus before that was in internal medicine. I realize that he's been portraying himself as a sex expert for years, but his resume really doesn't give me any confidence that he has any idea what the gently caress he's talking about when it comes to the biological processes of sex. For one thing, unless you specialize in sex research, medical students just aren't taught this stuff. Roach talks in her book about the lack of thorough education about these matters, even among urologists and gynecologists. I would be extremely skeptical of any claims by Dr. Drew in this arena.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Taima posted:

I'm interested in what you're saying. I looked at Mary Roach and who she is, it looks like she is some kind of columnist or something (EDIT: Bachelors in Psych). To be honest I was expecting more of a medical figure. A bachelor's in psyche is not exactly encouraging but if her citations and studies are in order then I see no problem with that.

She's not doing the research herself, she's contacting the researchers and interviewing them (or reviewing their writings, when historical research is involved). She participated in some research projects for the book - she doesn't make any claims to expertise. Her books are definitely meant for the layperson, but the people she interviews are experts.

quote:

Do you have any studies?

Unfortunately I don't have my university access anymore I see Emanuele Jannini's name come up a lot - he did a big study to prove that the g spot exists, which many people still think is inconclusive. SL Tepper's name is also mentioned, but the studies that team conducted were mostly to compare the Skene's gland to the male prostate.

One of the things Roach talks about extensively in her book is how difficult it is to put together a solid study on this sort of thing. I'm not sure we'll have a conclusive answer about female ejaculation until the stigma is gone from sex research. Most of the research about the Skene's gland is related to cancers. And, honestly, I can't say it bothers me that more money is spent researching diseases that could kill people than is spent researching squirting.

I've seen it suggested that the catheter studies are misleading because the liquid is in fact being expelled from the urethra, but is not urine (samples that have been analyzed in other studies supposedly do not contain urea or creatinine). The catheter studies do not appear to have actually analyzed the fluid that was expelled, from anything I can find.

I'm sorry I can't provide better citation - all the articles I've read say "recent research" and don't specify. It's really anybody's guess which research is correct, because from what I've seen, it's all been conducted very unscientifically (small sample sizes, etc.).

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Skywriter posted:

Wait, wait...but "squirting" is different than the normal fluid a woman excretes when she orgasms, right? I always assumed that squirting was pee, and that regular vaginal fluid was female ejaculate...like, a more concentrated dose of what makes us "wet" when we're turned on. Am I wrong?

Also, has anyone else cringed at the thought of trying to reach orgasm with a catheter in you? *Shudders*

The way I've seen it explained is that most women do not expel any fluid during orgasm. Squirting in porn is almost guaranteed to be either urine or something that has been injected prior to filming the scene, expelled via pelvic floor muscles. "Regular" vaginal fluid is a mucus-like substance that is secreted by the vaginal walls. Genuine female ejaculate is supposedly filtered blood plasma from the Skene's gland.

Like I said, though, I haven't seen anything truly conclusive.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Taima posted:

It's no problem, thanks for all of the information. I might even pick up that book, sounds interesting.

If you have the time and the money, read all of Roach's books. They're excellent. Her book on the space program (Packing for Mars) is amazing.

And I have to respect anyone who convinced her husband to have sex while a researcher holds an ultrasound wand up to their joined pelvises. She volunteered herself for several studies because the researchers couldn't give her any information about other participants.

quote:

Science, why must you be so wishy washy on this topic...

Scientists who take an interest in sex for non-reproductive or disease-related reasons are labeled as perverts. I think it also probably has a lot to do with the ingrained ideas about female sexuality in our culture - female ejaculation is associated with sluttiness, somehow.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Parsley in large doses can increase menstrual blood, but it can also cause undesirable levels of uterine bleeding and even spontaneous miscarriage if a woman is pregnant, among other really unpleasant side effects. So, yeah. Herbs aren't necessarily safe.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



You can also try stimulating her clit with your lips instead of your tongue, which allows you to keep your mouth closed. It seems a little silly and weird, but in my experience a lot of women really enjoy it - press your lips to the clitoris like you're giving it a closed-mouth kiss, and move your head in a "No" movement, side-to-side. Make sure you've got plenty of lubrication (saliva or other), and keep the movements smooth. Start slow and speed up gradually if she's enjoying it. Depending on the girl, you may find yourself shaking your head like a wet dog, but if you don't mind looking a bit ridiculous, it might be a good way to give your jaw a break. Circular motions are also good with this technique.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



silvergoose posted:

This sounds like an awesome excursion (except for the assistant, they really should only ask once or twice total).

Sometimes at stores that have a lot of issues with shrink, they tell the employees to check on people more often. I imagine at sex shops they also have to worry about people masturbating or having sex in the aisles from time to time.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Lovie Unsmith posted:

Whatever goes in an anus probably shouldn't go in a vagina right after, not without a good cleaning first.

I saw a porn clip once where a guy was ramming this girl in the rear end, pulled back too far and came out, and just shoved on back in - right into her vagina. I don't think I'd ever cringed like that before in my life. Maybe it's just because I get UTIs and vaginal infections really easily, but to me that seemed so incredibly horrifying...

Fecal bacteria should be kept away from just about everything else.

In re: the multiple orgasm question, I have yet to find my upper limit for a single session. Generally we have to stop because I start to get dry or sore, or one or both of us gets tired, but with enough lube and no muscle cramps, I'm sure I could have a couple dozen orgasms in a session. Eventually I would hit a wall I'm sure, but I haven't found it yet. I know I've gotten up into the double digits plenty of times.

The funny thing about that is that I always thought I was hard to get off. Turns out I'm actually pretty easy to get off, I just dated guys who didn't try at all. Go figure.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



slinkimalinki posted:

I'm pretty sure "imperfect use" of condoms isn't so much about condoms being hard to use as about people being tards about using them.

Or totally lacking in education on how to use them? I know at both my middle and high schools the actual procedure was absolutely not discussed, in either the boys' class or my own, and I didn't go to abstinence-only schools. Most of my friends have reported similar experiences. I think a lot of people have to learn "on the job" and it isn't always obvious that you're doing it wrong.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



The Sex Nerd Sandra podcast did a pretty good episode on basic anal sex technique, Booty Basics. One thing she talks about is the cleanliness aspect.

Also, if your girl is having lots of constipation issues...is she seeing a doctor? That sounds terribly unhealthy for her.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Lovie Unsmith posted:

Ask Sting, he's into that.

I saw an interview where they asked him about that and he said something along the lines of "When I said I could have sex for six hours, I was including two hours for the movie and three and a half of begging."

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



SlenderWhore posted:

actual sex

A lot of my gay friends are pushing back against this mindset. I think sometimes people (gay and straight) get very worked up about the importance of penetration, when it's really not the be-all, end-all of sex. That's a lot of pressure. It might be worth it to take it off the table for a while if your partner is really freaked out about it, which it sounds like he might be.

I'm not saying you're wrong to want to do it, by any means, but it may be that your partner attaches a lot of unnecessary tension/insecurity to it because it's considered such a big deal.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Diseased Dick Guy posted:

I knew a guy who didn't even know the proper word for his penis. He also called the vagina a "box." That is by far the most degrading euphemism I've encountered.

I always found the phrase "licking box" kind of fun, but I can see where genuinely referring to the vagina that way could be degrading.

I think it's okay to refer to genitals by silly names as long as you can be serious about it when the situation calls for it.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



uberwekkness posted:

General soreness afterward. We went a little past the sensitivity that can follow orgamsming, so the last few minutes was kind of painful.

I think the question was, is it muscle soreness, genital soreness, some other form of soreness?

If it's your genitals, I would recommend clenching something warm between your legs. Electric blanket folded up, heating pad, bag of dry rice microwaved for a minute or so, etc. I find that helps a lot.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



razz posted:

All of that is good advice, especially drinking more water. It is especially important to really increase your water intake when you are doing the cranberry pill routine - you need to drink a TON of water so the cranberry pills get repeatedly flushed through your system.

It's also important to make sure you're peeing often, and completely emptying your bladder each time. Waiting until your bladder is very full can aggravate things. Not getting all the pee out can allow stuff to stagnate.

Make sure she's fully aroused and plenty lubricated, too. Anything that irritates that area can increase the chances of infection.

I've seen recommendations that your partner use mouthwash before oral, to keep saliva bacteria out of there, but personally I haven't gone that route. Other methods have made the difference.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



It's cliched, but the old "write the alphabet" thing can work wonders. Focus on "drawing" each letter of the alphabet with your penis. It'll distract you from the sensation a little bit and also vary the sensation for her.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



FactsAreUseless posted:

I think from now on, all my responses to sex questions will be "Have you turned your partner off, then on again?"

I read that in the voice of Roy from IT Crowd, and the follow-up seemed appropriate for the thread: "Have you tried shoving it up your rear end?"

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Most of the wet wipes that aren't aimed at babies have alcohol in them, which can dry your skin out and irritate sensitive parts. Baby wipes are generally alcohol free.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Scaevolus posted:

Learn to breathe through your mouth. It's useful for period sex as well.

It always baffles me how "gently caress yeah period sex!" this thread is. Then again, I get incredibly sore through my whole vulvar region during mine, so maybe that's why it seems horrible to me. The "gross" aspect of it doesn't bother me, but the pain thing turns me off completely.

Do most gals not experience that?

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



I'm talking about a level of soreness that makes wiping after peeing uncomfortable. I've tried ignoring it and having sex anyway, and it's extremely unpleasant.

Coupled with my total feeling of bloaty grumpy exhaustion, it's just not sexy.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



HPV is not curable, so you're just treating the symptoms. There's no risk of re-infecting if you're both already infected.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Having sex in new and different places is a fun way to add some excitement as well. The higher the risk of being caught, the more exciting, for most people, but can also add nervousness that will mess with things, so you and your partner have to figure out your comfort levels.

Even just finding different rooms in your house can be fun. Shower or bathtub is one of my favorites, but you'll definitely want a nice silicone-based lube for that, or chafing can be an issue.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Bollock Monkey posted:

I'm no doctor, but I'd say that the peeing is the more important part of it. I've never had a UTI so... I must be doing something right?

Showering or wiping after sex is useless for preventing UTIs. Peeing helps because it flushes out any bacteria that has been pushed up into the urethra during sex before it can colonize.

As someone who gets a UTI every time I have sex and don't pee afterwards, I can honestly say I never shower after sex.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



2508084 posted:

Everyone should have a bag of baby wipes for when they poop, regardless of if they're going to participate in anal sex or not. Its just a good idea all around

Baby wipes are good for all kinds of stuff, really.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Any recommendations for a quiet bullet vibe, preferably under $50? It doesn't need to be super powerful or have lots of settings or any of that. I just keep finding reviews that say various models are noisy, and that's a real turn-off for me.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



Cuckoo, have you used silicone lubes before when not using toys? If silicone lubes don't irritate your parts, you might want to consider switching to another kind of toy so that you can use silicone lube. Glass toys are pretty darn hypoallergenic, and metal toys can be (as long as you don't also have metal allergies).

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



I think the best sex is on a lazy Saturday at around 10:00 in the morning after you've gotten up, had a cup of tea and a muffin or whatever, and gone back upstairs for a shower. Especially in the shower. It still has the awesome morning feel, but you're fully awake and not hungry or thirsty and you've already peed, and even if you haven't brushed your teeth your breath is a lot better after being up for a while and eating/drinking.

I also really like "We both just got home from work and our kid left for his part-time job and won't be home for a few hours" sex. Go upstairs, take off our office clothes, make as much noise as we want, then change into something to lounge around the house the rest of the evening.

I love my kid, but I'm really looking forward to lots more spontaneous mid-day loving after he moves out in May.

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RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.



cuntvalet posted:


Circumcision was originally something done to baby boys in hopes that they wouldn't touch themselves "down there" as much; i.e.: masturbation.

Not to be pedantic, but this was in no way the original point of circumcision.

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