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So my boyfriend and I just started having sex a few weeks ago. It's my first time ever having sex with anyone and so far it's actually been surprisingly not-painful. We've been trying out a ton of different kinds of condoms and lube and found a nice combination that we both like. Our only issue so far has been that the condom always causes me a noticeable amount of discomfort every time he pulls out -- and I mean on every thrust, each time he pulls back. It's a lot less uncomfortable with thinner condoms (which is what we're using) but it's still noticeable enough that I sometimes have to stop because of the discomfort. I don't really know how to describe what it feels like. It sort of reminds me of the way it felt when we used a ribbed condom one time (which was a horrible idea) -- it's like there's something on the condom that's physically hindering my boyfriend from pulling out smoothly. We're using plenty of water-based lube, and we never have this problem when he doesn't use a condom (I'm also on the patch, but we prefer to keep using condoms as extra assurance. We're only 17 so it's definitely not babytime.) Anyone know what the gently caress? I don't have lingering discomfort or soreness afterwards, it's just while we're having sex, and it's only when he pulls back, not when he pushes forwards.
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| # ¿ Jun 4, 2011 21:28 |
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| # ¿ May 21, 2013 19:56 |
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EmmyOtter posted:I want to have a normal sexual relationship with my boyfriend but I have some issues. I just started having sex for the first time a few weeks ago and I was totally where you're at. Do you use tampons, by any chance? How do you feel about tampons? Does the idea of putting one inside yourself make you feel squeamish, too? A couple of my friends really freaked me out before I started having sex. They told me that it was going to hurt really bad, and that I should be prepared for intense cramps, and for it not to feel good. I was legitimately horrified. ...And then I had sex with my current boyfriend and it was weirdly easy and painless and felt amazingly good. Your boyfriend sounds like a pretty cool and understanding guy. Just remember that there's no rush and no obligation, and if you guys have a few false starts he's not going to be mad at you (unless he's a total rear end in a top hat, in which case he's not worth your time.) Also, what ultimately helped me was guiding him in. The first time we tried to have sex, he was trying to guide his penis into me himself and it didn't work out at all. So I reached down and did it myself, sort of felt around until I noticed it going in easily, and once I found the right spot I asked him to push forward really slowly. Totally worked out. Just make sure that you guys can communicate well. Make sure you're comfortable telling him when it hurts and when it feels good. You guys are having sex together; it's not just him having sex with you. You have as much say in what goes down as he does, and you need to both be comfortable with the idea of being patient.
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| # ¿ Jun 6, 2011 18:58 |
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Adonis Gunther posted:I just picked up a box of those ribbed and dotted condoms. I haven't had much sex before so I ask you, is it a good idea? Or will I premjac like a champ if I use them? Also, which is the best type of condom you recommend for "beginners". If your partner hasn't had much sex before either, I would recommend asking her/him how they feel about ribbed condoms and if s/he's even willing to try them. I used ribbed condoms my first couple times (I'm a girl) and it was a godawful idea, they made me so sore. Your partner might love them, for all I know, but I would definitely ask. If s/he wants to try them out, I would keep some normal, non-ribbed condoms close at hand in case the ribbed ones wind up being uncomfortable like they were for me. Honestly everyone has a different condom preference, but my boyfriend and I are sex noobs too and we like Crown because they're thin, so we can both actually feel what's going on, but durable, so we're not scared they're gonna break. But if you have problems with cumming too soon you may want to look into something thicker than Crown, so that you can last longer.
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| # ¿ Jun 14, 2011 21:04 |
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So I don't know what the gently caress. Last night I had sex with my boyfriend and for some reason it hurt like a mother fucker. I was plenty wet, we were in the same position that always works painlessly for me, and we weren't doing it hard or rough at all. When I got home I noticed I was bleeding, and I've never bled from sex before. The most troubling thing, though, was that within an hour after having sex, I was feeling really intensely nauseous. And then I threw up. And then I was kept awake all night by my crazy stomach deciding it was a good idea to puke like every hour. It was really bad, and I don't know what's up. I don't know if the nausea coincides with the sex, but I found it pretty weird that I was feeling absolutely fine all day until about an hour after I had painful sex. Help me goons, did my boyfriend's dick break me?  EDIT: For the record, and to rule out the pregnancy option, I'm on birth control. Also, this is the first time we've had sex since my last period about a week ago, so I don't think I would have gotten pregnant from last night and immediately started throwing up that same night.
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| # ¿ Jul 8, 2011 17:23 |
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Anne Whateley posted:Where/how did it hurt during sex? My money is on him hitting your cervix, which hurts many (but not all) women, and can cause bleeding; it can also stimulate the vagal nerve, which can cause full-body results like nausea. Your cervix moves up and down depending on where you are in your cycle, which could also explain why the same position that was fine two weeks ago hurt yesterday. That would make a lot of sense, but the pain wasn't very deep the way I imagine it would be if it were my cervix. It was just a little ways inside my vagina, and it was a stinging kind of pain. It felt just like this one time that he fingered me without cutting his fingernails first. 
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| # ¿ Jul 8, 2011 19:50 |
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Hopefully this question isn't too relationship-y for the sex questions megathread, but I figured this might be the place to ask. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. He's 19 and I'm 18, he's a virgin and I'm not. He keeps telling me that he wants to lose his virginity to me, and that he wants to have sex, but he won't loving do it! Three months ago it was, "I'm scared you'll get pregnant." No problem, I'll get back on birth control. Then it was, "I still want to use condoms and I don't have any condoms." Okay, I bought condoms. And then, "I'm not ready yet." That's totally fine, I wasn't ready for a long time either and I understand. And lately it's, "I'm ready now but I want it to be special. Like I want us to be able to spend the day doing nice stuff together and I want us to be able to spend the night together." Okay, allow me to set aside three separate occasions in which we spend the day doing awesome stuff together, just the two of us, and then you can sleep over at my house. Yesterday, for the third time, we had seriously exactly what he defines as his idea of a special day and it was awesome, and then he slept over at my house, and we had the house to ourselves, and it was just the two of us all night. And we didn't have sex. It's not like I was waiting for him to initiate it, either; I was making moves and hinting and doing what we usually do when we get sexual. And that's the thing, is we do other sexual things together and it's awesome, so I don't think it's that he's not attracted to me or he's not interested in being sexual with me. I don't know what it is. And, obviously from the multiple answers/excuses I've gotten from him, we've talked about it several times, and he even expressed that it's not that he's nervous or scared at all; he just "wants it to be special," which, all told, is super sweet and adorable, but I'm also starting to feel like I can never please him or live up to this idea he has of exactly how he wants to lose his virginity. For what it's worth I'm not mad or upset and I'm never a dick to him about it, because I don't want to pressure him too much and make him uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I love him and want to jump his bones. Do I just have to wait? Because I feel like I've been doing that for 5 months now. Help me goons, I just want to get laid by my own boyfriend without forcing him into something he's not ready for.
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| # ¿ May 19, 2012 18:35 |
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NaturalLow posted:It sounds like it could be a lot of things here. Maybe he's still not ready, but doesn't want to come right out and say that anymore. Maybe he's worried about how his performance will be the first time out and is afraid to try. Maybe there's something in his past that's given him major issues with sex. Or maybe it's just like he says and he's got his first time built up as being this huge deal that has to be special/perfect. I hadn't thought about him not even knowing what it is that's holding him back; that seems kind of characteristic of him. And it seems somewhat more likely than him knowing and not telling me, because he tells me a lot of deeply personal and often embarrassing poo poo. I just feel like every time I try talking to him about what he wants specifically, he doesn't really give me details. He gives me examples of things we've already done together that he liked a lot, i.e. I'll ask "what's your idea of a special day?" and he'll say "oh you know like that day we went hiking for hours and took pictures? That was so great. Stuff like that is really special." And then we do stuff like that again and have a great time and it's still not That Certain Kind Of Special, or something? He's also really sensitive and I'm worried that bringing this up too much will hurt his feelings, or make him feel like I'm disappointed in him for not having sex with me, which I'm not. But I don't know what else to do other than just wait it out, which is what I feel like I've been doing for a long time now.
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| # ¿ May 19, 2012 20:13 |
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I posted a couple pages back about my boyfriend not wanting to have sex with me yet. Just wanted to thank everyone for their input. Also, I've had a few incredibly unproductive conversations about it with my boyfriend. They have all essentially gone like this: Hey boyfriend, why do you keep pushing me away when I want to have sex? I don't know. I just don't feel like it yet. Are you nervous? A little. About what? Is there anything I can help you feel less nervous about? No I'm actually not nervous I just want it to be special and perfect. What can I do to make things feel special and perfect? I would love to do some special stuff together, especially if it would make you more comfortable. What kind of special stuff do you have in mind? I just want it to feel special. What kind of things make you feel special? I don't know. ...Today we were messing around on my bed, touching and oral and stuff, and both really into it. I tested the "let's have sex" waters (no forcing or pressuring, just suggested it) and even in the heat of the moment he stopped and physically pushed me away. At this point it's not even "oh man I'm horny, wish my boyfriend would have sex with me!" Now it's starting to hurt my feelings and make me feel gross and unwanted. EDIT: Sorry this is turning kind of E/N. I'm going to stop talking about this particular issue in this thread and move any other potential questions related to it into E/N. Budget Bears fucked around with this message at May 30, 2012 around 02:36 |
| # ¿ May 30, 2012 02:30 |
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Every position except for missionary hurts me. I recently started having sex again after not being with anyone for like 9 months, so on some level I was like, "oh I can probably handle more positions once my vagina gets used to sex again." But then I remembered that even when I was having sex consistently for long periods of time, I could never handle anything other than missionary. This was with multiple guys with variously sized penises, so it never seemed to be a problem of a guy being too big for me. I am always fine in missionary, but without fail, 100% of the time that I've tried any other position, it hurts really bad. Not a stinging kind of pain but a sore, deep ache. It's honestly not a huge problem because my current boyfriend really likes missionary (and so do I), but part of me also wants to just change things up from time to time, you know? Has anyone else experienced this? Is there anything I can do or am I just stuck with a sensitive vagina?
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| # ¿ Sep 10, 2012 20:12 |
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Xovaan posted:Nah, no depression problems, just a relatively low libido. When I'm with my girlfriend the last thing that usually crosses my mind is sex because I'm having so much fun with her. I actually came here looking for similar answers, except I'm the girl in my relationship and my libido is way higher than my boyfriend's. Granted, not as high as your girlfriend's - twice or three times a day is indeed a shitload. But yeah, my boyfriend and I only see each other 2-3 times a week and I tend to want to have sex every single time. The thing is, he'll be down to have sex if I bring it up, but I'm kind of sick of being the one who always brings it up. Sometimes he'll be the one to bring it up but it's always in this weirdly dry, calculated way like, "Did you want to have sex tonight?" Like he's not excited for it, he's just trying to see if it's in the agenda. But even still, when we actually do get to having sex I'm the one who has to initiate. It's annoying because I've flat-out told him, "Hey I understand if you don't feel like having sex as much as I do but can you please initiate it sometimes when we do have sex?" And he was like "of course!" and then did it for like a week and then stopped. Is it just an issue of him not being as horny as I am? Should I just resign myself to the fact that he's not as into sex as I am, or is there anything else I can do?
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| # ¿ Oct 13, 2012 07:25 |
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Cliff posted:When I was younger, I was hesitant to try to initiate sex (God I sound so clinical) with my SO because I was stuck in a Nice Guy mindset wherein I thought that asking for sex was a selfish act. Maybe he hasn't figured out that you want it too? I think this is exactly what it is, combined with our sex drives being mismatched. He is really, really nice - to the point where he only recently started accepting blowjobs because he was previously worried that the act of sucking a dick was universally degrading to women. I'll probably bring it up again with more emphasis on how important it is to me. Also, another poster said that working out can increase sex drive. He doesn't work out at all but he just got a gym membership and keeps putting off going. Maybe I'll bug him to go and see if him exercising on a regular basis brings him up to speed a little.
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| # ¿ Oct 13, 2012 18:20 |
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| # ¿ May 21, 2013 19:56 |
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Guni posted:Hey goons! What's a good lube for PIV? I don't usually use condoms (long term girlfriend), but sometimes I do so I guess if something was REALLY REALLY good and was oil-based I wouldn't mind, but I guess I'll be looking for a water-based one for the times we do use a condom and in general. I guess it's important to note that I have quite sensitive skin, but really that's not a huge concern unless somethings like UBER RASPBERRY FLAVOUR (with 10000000 chemicals added to make that flavour). Also two more considerations; I live in Australia so shipping to here is a must (obviously) and my girlfriend would prefer it not to be sticky (therefore doesn't have to have flavour/pretty colours etc...). Thanks in advance! My boyfriend and I recently started using Sliquid, it's the best lube we've tried and we've tried quite a few lubes. The thing we like about it is that it doesn't dry up, like water-based lube tends to. Also, unlike a lot of silicone-based lubes we've used, when we put it on our hands it doesn't feel totally disgusting and make us want to dash to the bathroom to wash our hands immediately after sex. It also doesn't taste like anything.
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| # ¿ Oct 30, 2012 17:42 |
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