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McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




The Kohl's "Black Friday" ad makes me want to burn the entire concept of Black Friday to the ground. Well, more than I already did.

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McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Anyone seen this perfume ad with Charlize Theron? The long version's here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/...d_n_950364.html The digital Marilyn Monroe creation is creepy as poo poo when it starts talking, looks like someone is wearing her face as a latex mask.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Sash! posted:

I'm more annoyed that they're putting Charlize Theron in the same class as Grace Kelly and Marlene Dietrich.

Yes, there's also that.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Maxwell Lord posted:

Forget solvency. The USPS should be funded as a public utility and screw having to make a profit.

Wait, it isn't that way already? I thought the postal service was a government agency? And perhaps a third statement of confusion?

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




raditts posted:

I'm not sure I understand the universal rage against the Dr. Pepper 10 commercial. I mean, it's not a good commercial by any means, but am I the only one that thought the "man"ness in it is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek? I mean, the guy yells "CATCHPHRASE!" at the end of the commercial. It seems almost as misdirected as that "I am Man" Burger King commercial a few years ago that featured lots of goofy stereotypical "man" things like mustachioed strongmen lifting cars and poo poo.

Wait, people hated the "I am Man" commercials? Those were hilarious!

I guess if a parody hits the notes a little too well it becomes a satire.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Polaron posted:

There's a cat food commercial going around right now that shows the cat eating their food and then being transported to a magical land of wonder and amazement. It's not bad, exactly, but all I can think when I watch it is that the catfood company laces their food with Kitty LSD.

Catnip, basically the same thing.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Jubs posted:

Any commercial with a baby is so eye rolling. Especially the Capital One commercials with Jimmy Fallon and the baby.

The first one was hilarious, and it was entirely due to that kid's perfect timing. The new ones are the start of yet another run-this-poo poo-into-the-ground commercial mascot run.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Darth Freddy posted:

You know Nerf is possibly the most brilliant company ever or the dumbest with the way they market their kids toys. With commercials of guys in their 20s playing nerf tag out in the woods/parks and what have you. I don't know if the nailed their target group or not.

Have you ever seen a goon Nerf thread in GBS? They're right on target.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Darth Freddy posted:

So apparently now smoking will make me become a double amputee with some kick rear end looking prosthetics. Jesus every one knows smoking is bad for you by now, these kind of commercials just seem like a waste of time. At least the one where if you smoked weed your dog would talk to you was effective.

The only scared straight-style ad that's ever worked on me was a poster in school of a girl covered in hideous tar and mucus, and it said something like "if it did to your skin what it does to your lungs, nobody would smoke".

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




gently caress's sake, haven't these anti-smoking organizations figured out by now that people can't be grossed out of their vice of choice? It's not like this is any big loving surprise, cigarettes were called "coffin nails" in the Civil War era and people were writing about the disgusting traits of the habit and the correlation with cancer and heart disease in the freaking 1700s. If "this poo poo'll kill you" hasn't worked by now, maybe it's time to try a new approach.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Kanish posted:

As someone from Maryland, the idea of a subway "Krab" sub makes me want to vomit.

You're not the only one. I'm about as far from the ocean as you can get but that fake crab poo poo can go to hell.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Buzkashi posted:

Don't you dare impugn Jimmy John's honor. When you're too drunk to walk at 2 in the morning, they will bring subs to you. That's magical.

This is literally Jimmy Johns' business model. Hire college drunks/stoners to run a cheap delivery outlet for college drunks/stoners. When I was in college it was great, now that I'm out I'm never going to one again.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




muscles like this? posted:

Kind of funny since the AT&T/T-Mobile merger got the kibosh put on it they're bringing back the T-Mobile girl. Except now she's all edgy and on a motorcycle.

I will eventually get sick of what is certainly the first in a series of "now I'm a hardcore take-no-prisoners bitch" T-Mobile Girl 2.0 commercials, but for now I'll just appreciate that she's back on my television being mysteriously attractive.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Meepo posted:

As soon as you said that, I knew what commercials you were linking. God, those were horrible.


That's so 29 seconds ago

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




vyst posted:

I think the message is dumb but I'm not gonna lie I crack up at the montage of people busting out of poo poo.

I gotta admit, the dude's shirt button skipping across the lake and then the other guy laughing at him just before his lawn chair collapses? Gets me every time.

Still, gently caress Subway.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Grape Juice Vampire posted:

What does this have anything to do with Vitamin Water? It's literally just 30 seconds of "THESE ARE THINGS THAT EXIST".

Just like those goddamn "rhyme a bunch of disconnected things, hey 5% cash back on your Discover (or whatever the gently caress) credit card!" commercials. Apparently literally spouting random bullshit sells stuff, drat I should've become an advertising guru.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Rirse posted:

Getting tired of the Five Hour Energy drink with the old sheriff going up to people and demanding people drink the poo poo or go to jail.

It's interesting to watch the Five Hour Energy commercials from the beginning to now, you can see the catchphrases get more and more nebulous as their legal advisers invariably got lawsuit threats over the very specific and provably false "five hours of energy now, no crash later!" claims.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




The Grimace posted:

I don't want to believe Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter takes itself seriously, but all of the commercials and the R rating really make myself scared. I'm not sure I could even enjoy such a stupid premise if it were a joke. I might need to look up some more information on this crap so I can perfectly articulate how stupid I think it is. It's like a fake movie.

My thoughts exactly. I don't know why this bothers me so much and a movie about Elvis and black JFK fighting mummies in a nursing home doesn't, but something about it is almost subconsciously offensive.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Gaunab posted:

The newest one they started playing this week with the guy giving a presentation on it has a weird atmosphere. Like they wanted it to be funny but then at the end go "No, this poo poo is serious loving business!"

BAM. That's it right there, this movie is taking itself way too goddamn seriously. I looked into a little more and turns out that in this flick, vampires support the Confederacy because they want a steady supply of slaves to feed on. That is really, really not something you can play with a straight face.

The Grimace posted:

See, now, that's loving hilarious by comparison. I'm not sure if I could sit through the whole film alone, but atleast it looks like a really good film that doesn't take itself seriously, like something by RedLetterMedia. "gently caress polio," indeed.

Exactly! This looks to have the same the same tone that Black Dynamite did, and even if the whole movie isn't that funny, at least it (probably) isn't going to do something absurd like show the Nazi werewolves rounding up the Jews for human livestock and make it a serious dramatic plot point.

McSpanky fucked around with this message at Jun 21, 2012 around 00:20

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Vicas posted:

I can't quite put my finger on it, but that Bacardi commercial with the 1950s party really rubs me the wrong way for some reason. The music gets stuck in my head, but I guess the whole idea that "fun" in history is a party with a bunch of rich white people (and some token minorities, mostly attractive women) is annoying, too.

How about that pretty much nothing in that commercial resembles either actual history or the popular film/TV version of it? It's so fictional it might as well be taking place on Mars.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




That's bullshit, there's nothing to swing from in the middle of a baseball stadium

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




trunkwontopen posted:

And then there is this one too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1qWoOljtjE
If you can pause it at 0:08, and read the fine print, a $5,000 loan at 116.73% APR for 84 months. I'm ashamed to be a fraction of Indian heritage, and a little piece of me died the first time I saw this commercial.

Is my math retarded as hell, or are you seriously going to pay back $490,000 over seven years on a $5,000 loan? Please tell me I'm as dumb as Fry.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Mister Kingdom posted:

You're off by a factor of 10. The payback would be about $40k (84 pmts @$486.58 according to their website). The idea, I'm guessing, is that you don't take that long to pay it back.

I'm surprised some consumer advocate group hasn't tested them out. I seem to recall there being a blurb about no penalty for early payback.

poo poo, I thought I misplaced a decimal or something. But yeah, I guess technically it's not illegal if there's both an extensive repayment period and no penalty for early repayment. Still pretty drat expensive, I can't really imagine non-exploitative situations where someone would need $5k "tomorrow" that badly and could also afford to pay off substantially more than $500 a month thereafter.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Orange_Lazarus posted:

Was that porno with her ever released? Sorry but this is the first time I've seen her mentioned since that gbs thread.

edit: Yes. it was.

I just realized that Nadya Suleman's face looks like an octopus' mantle.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




DrBouvenstein posted:

HP has a commercial for their laptop with "Beats audio" () with some God-awful music that's like a cheese-grater on my eardrums.

Seriously, it sounds like a bad Katy Perry song (redundant, I know) remixed as bad dubstep (also redundant.)

Also, gotta love the assertion that an audiophile (or, like, anyone) is gonna be listening to music from a laptop's speakers and not some headphones.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005





I was just joking with a friend a few months ago that with realtime digital displays being as seamless as they are now, when is someone going to take the next step and have ads floating directly over the players' heads during big game moments. "This amazing score brought to you by Quiznos! Mmm mmm mmmmm mmm mm, touchdown!" Guess I wasn't too far off the mark.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Rhyno posted:

I love that one.

Now if Axe itself didn't smell like herb-steeped skunk spray, I'd actually consider purchasing it due to that excellent ad.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




SpacePig posted:

I'll never understand the fascination some people have with unboxing videos.

Closest thing I can think of is some kind of vicarious Christmas morning experience. But in this case it's even more retarded because, as has been observed... it's just a loving phone. It's like buying it and unboxing it once for yourself wasn't good enough, you have to relive the experience of materialist self-worth verification over and over again it's the only thing I feel anymore

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




ElwoodCuse posted:

This is a pretty awful analogy unless Harrison Ford is pitching Battlestar Galactica DVDs or something

Even if Harrison Ford was pitching Battlestar Galactica DVDs, he should be completely free to do so unless he's being specifically portrayed as the likeness of Han Solo in the process. Harrison Ford is an actor, not a brand, and neither is this guy. An actor being in an role doesn't make his mere existence in another role a trademark case. Sony just handed Bridgestone and Nintendo a ton of free publicity and themselves another helping of egg on their face.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




ElwoodCuse posted:

He's absolutely not, that would be another very easy "likelihood of confusion" Lanham Act claim.

I would dearly love to see this go to court on First Amendment grounds. I'm pretty loving sure that a human being owns the rights to their own face when they're acting as themselves, not whoever they first worked for when they got famous. Not that it would surprise me in the least that decades of corporate aggrandizement of the law have tried to set precedent otherwise.

McSpanky fucked around with this message at Oct 15, 2012 around 04:49

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Sash! posted:

Nope, that's the cost of being a spokesman. Also, and this is the key part, is that its both video games in both things. That's the entire crux of the issue. He could have been out there pitching Jello at a picnic and there wouldn't have been an issue.

According to the likelihood of confusion clause of the Lanham Act, the offending persons must be actively trying to conflate two different products or trademarked images to deceive consumers. This guy was dressing, speaking, acting differently and portraying a character completely distinct from his Sony executive character in the previous commercials. The only thing linking the two characters is the same individual actor and the mere subject of videogames in both commercials. An imbecile could tell the two apart. They might have a point on the dilution by blurring clause, but that's almost as big a stretch for the reasons already mentioned.

I sincerely hope that whomever judge draws this case has the good sense to see it for the legal bullying bullshit that it is, and realize that being a person who did a thing once doesn't mean they can't ever do a similar thing again simply because cameras were rolling the first time. Though again, I would (very, very begrudgingly) understand if it doesn't go that way. After all, when it comes to civil law corporations are the biggest whiniest babies on the planet.

McSpanky fucked around with this message at Oct 15, 2012 around 22:58

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




ElwoodCuse posted:

Target put their Christmas poo poo out in a small corner of the seasonal aisle with the Halloween stuff--in like loving late August when the back-to-school crap was gone.


Intent is only one of eight factors considered by courts in cases brought under the Lanham Act, and it's not as simple as "if we can check off enough of these factors, the plaintiff wins". No one element is singly determinative.

I know, I was trying to keep the derail as simple and brief as possible, and I guess enough has been said about it by now, anyway. As if it wasn't obvious enough, I don't look kindly on the corporate influence on intellectual property law in general. Don't even get me loving started on Walt Disney or DC Comics.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




raditts posted:

I'm glad this is the last day of Breast Cancer Month so after today I don't have to see this creepy homuncula and hear her terrible loving song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jZKbOHetw8

It feels like this plays every break, no matter what channel I'm watching. I'm starting to get a murderous pavlovian response to the color pink.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005





Dude, that commercial is months old.

And hilarious.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




KIT-KATS DO NOT SOUND LIKE THAT ARGHLEBARGLENGREWHBGURWBGVFSG

I can only assume the advertising agency got pranked with a pack of Kit-Kats made of chocolate-covered biscotti and celery and they never figured out the joke.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




kittenmittons posted:

Iceberg lettuce is a vegetable last time I checked.

If the government can declare ketchup a vegetable for school lunches then salsa is fair game

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Buzkashi posted:

I'm just mad they stopped running the "bodybuilder directing traffic" one. While it went on a little too long, goddamn did that dude look happy.

I know! I've never seen anybody with a happyface that beaming since Michael Clarke Duncan.

Now I made myself sad.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




U.T. Raptor posted:

I'm sick of cancer-related commercials.

I'm sick of commercials for that private cancer treatment center, where someone talks about their old doctor giving them a diagnosis while laughing in their face followed by the new place giving them angelic handjobs until they go into perfect remission and come back healthy as their grandchildren.

*Results not typical. Do not expect these results. In other words, pay us a ransom that Al-Qaeda would be embarrassed to ask for and maybe you won't waste away into a hideous, tortured mockery of a human being before dying in a pool of blood and cold piss. But don't count on it.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




vyst posted:

There is a commercial for an oncology center here in Tampa that looks like a loving cult. It has this creepy lighthouse on it and sullen voices.

Doesn't surprise me in the least, undoubtedly there's a strong business in separating the terminally ill from their hope money. I think the one I was referring to is the Cancer Treatment Centers of America or something, so it should be airing at least regionally around their multiple centers if not nationwide. Their patient stories all have the same emotional beats like I outlined (and exaggerated... somewhat) and the fine print is always the same: good loving luck getting results as fortunate as the people we signed for these ads, suckers!

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McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




anticake posted:

Isn't this really every commercial with testimonials?

Yeah, it just strikes me as particularly reprehensible when they're talking about treating a terminal illness.

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