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McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Mister Kingdom posted:

This interview seems to explain his mouth.

Goddamn, Eddie Money sounds like the most awesome dude in showbusiness to just hang out with. I almost never hear an interviewee's voice in a piece but I sure as hell heard his.

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McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






raditts posted:

Definitely the worst by far. I'd say it's even the worst GoDaddy ad, which is really saying something.

Danica Patrick is going to become a softcore porn producer after this, isn't she?

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






muscles like this? posted:

I guess William Shatner is getting pretty cheap for commercials considering I just saw him do one for a local lawyer.

Judge Joe Brown's doing ads for a local law office too (St. Louis area). I wonder if it's not that they're coming cheap, but that attorneys are doing that well these days.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






raditts posted:

I wonder if 10 years ago, Outkast imagined their music would be adapted for slide whistles in back-to-school commercials.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8HTmTnfDYE

I almost feel the same way about "Under Pressure", but an instrumental version of a song with that name is just the thing some gradeschoolers would use for their class project about a model volcano and oh god I'm a back to school apologist :negative:

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Wagonburner posted:

Is it more or less ok for the lady to kiss it at the end if it's a kidney? 'Cause people don't kiss kidneys IRL.

Nothing about that commercial is ok... except the service they're advertising, I guess? I couldn't tell because I was too busy being creeped out by walking kidneys named Willy Weewater assuming human form and stealing our women.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Delta Airlines has this ad that's been running for a while, maybe it's just me but it feels smug as gently caress and way too self-congratulatory for a drat airline that isn't even advertising any specific features or successes, the only thing it really says is "hey, we exist, check out how great we are". It's like it was made just for one division to fellate another's profit margins or something and they accidentally released it for general advertising.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3MseMGAxgw

The 30-second edit that usually runs on TV manages to make them sound like even bigger ego-puffing assholes about themselves. "Crossing the Atlantic non-stop in a wooden plane, riding an exploding skyscraper to the moon? Forget those chumps- we're a commercial airline, you ain't seen nothing yet" :smuggo:

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






The day that the number sign becomes formally recognized as "hashtag" in the US, I'll see myself off the planet.

Yes, this is :corsair: as gently caress, #getoffmylawn

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Tupping Liberty posted:

They did it last movie too. But really, what kind of products ARE you going to tie to that movie?

Survival gear and archery equipment?

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






lamey_whinehouse posted:

I'm not saying it's a good song, but sorry that you guys don't know about an R&B singer with multiple top-10 singles I guess.

So very sorry that you think something being popular within a single genre means it's worth paying attention to or automatically acquiring via some cultural osmosis, I passive-aggressively guess.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






gently caress you assholes, I had no idea the "gifing out" ad existed until this thread and now it's taken over my goddamn television. You're gonna pay for this :mad:

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Doctor Butts posted:

Turns out in later versions of the commercial, they got a dog.

And a Grandpa
And Kids

Wonder how long it took them to make giant bows for those.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






LeafyOrb posted:

I don't know whats worse rewriting Christmas songs or rewriting songs so they are about Christmas, there's a commercial out there that rewrote the Addams Family Theme to be about Christmas. Neither the Addams Family nor any horror elements are featured in the commercial they just reused the tune with no context. The only link is that a family is in both and there was an Addams Family Christmas special once that has jack to do with commercial.

Yeah, when it comes to Christmas songs I'm a permanent grumpy old man about remakes/rewrites/re-whateverthefucks, always have been. I don't want to hear your lovely pop jingles cleverly rewritten with mass-marketed holiday lyrics, I don't want a classic carol remixed to a funky hip-hop beat, I don't want some hair-metal has-beens squealing out a power ballad version of something written for a 40s crooner, and I sure as gently caress don't want Michael Bolton trying to sell me cars with whatever passes for a catchy tune out of his noise hole. I want every blessed thing I grew up with to stay EXACTLY THE WAY IT WAS.

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Ghost of Motherfucking Christmas Past :ssj:

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Choco1980 posted:

It's your money, and you need cash now!!

gently caress you and your ultra-cheesy overacted faux opera commercials, J.G. Wentworth. gently caress, you.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Maxwell Lord posted:

Apart from eHarmony's dodgy "Well our algorithm just doesn't WORK for gay people" element

Didn't they have to make a gay counterpart service for New Jersey because of some civil rights law and it turned out it worked just fine?

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Nintendo frequently has great ads for their in-house franchises, or at least they did in the past, I don't pay much attention these days since the Internet and all. Here's a classic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K783SDTBKmg

And in non-TV ads, one time I got a mailer from the Nintendo Fan Club that said "Free Paper Mario demo inside!" and when I unfolded it, it had a scissors cutout line around a picture of Mario from said game. Amazing. I have that taped to my computer monitor to this day.

McSpanky fucked around with this message at 00:28 on Jan 6, 2014

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005







Having gone through a geology degree about ten years ago, all these "CLEAN COAL IS THE FUTURE!" AND "DOMESTIC OIL IS LIQUID FREEDOM!" ads are essentially the real-life equivalent of watching a dumb action movie with terrible pseudoscience and trying not to roll your eyes until your brain melts. The dumb movie just costs you a few hours of time though, not a few more decades of global warming and arrested development in alternative energy sources :smith:

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Bloody Hedgehog posted:

I work at a hospital, so we see our fair share of medical advertisments. This one just came in today, and it definitely falls into the "What were they thinking?!" category.

"Ooh baby! Caressing this tub of bloody, syrupy, fatty goop we forcibly sucked out of your body is getting me hot! Buy this machine, baby!"






A huge comic book nerd drew this ad.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






About a month ago, every other ambulance-chaser ad was about uterine sling meshes causing vaginal prolapse and other equally :stonk: complications of the ladyparts. Daytime TV is basically a body horror sideshow.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Capn Beeb posted:

I can't find it on youtube, but gently caress this "ehawmony" commercial with the little girl spewing about "mawwiage".

That little actress is going to be the new it-girl for playing soulless child psychopaths in crime dramas and horror movies in a few years, book it. Next time the commercial's on just mute it and stare at those glassy dead eyes and expressionless face, stare into the abyss :unsmigghh:

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Gaunab posted:

It's sad that the closest thing to a mascot sonic has is two guys trying to be funny in a car. Also that people are so uninterested in teaching that there are commercials trying to recruit teachers.

Maybe if they stopped treating teachers like poo poo they'd get more teachers.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






ElwoodCuse posted:

I remember give me back my filet o fish but I never bought one, so I don't know what exactly McDonald's accomplished

Even if you've never gone to McDonalds in your entire life the ad was still a success because it grew the brand. :smuggo:

Someday in the far future they'll have advertising plans in museums, sitting next to alchemic transmutation guides and medical texts about balancing the four humors.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






muscles like this? posted:

So instead they just hire pretty woman who can't act.

Her acting credentials seem firm to me.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






RMZXAnarchy posted:

Holy poo poo, Northland Ford?

I was gonna bring those up here but since they're local commercials I didn't really think they'd be relevant.

Also who the hell makes a commercial in standard def 4:3 in 2014-2015 anymore? I get it with old commercials since there's lots of them but for some reason car dealerships just keep doing these on the cheap.

I'm pretty sure I've seen recent local car commercials done on videotape, possibly even VHS. I think just run that poo poo til it breaks and then get whatever's available on craigslist the next day.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Nerdfest X posted:

Not a TV commercial, but I got this phone call:

"This is a special message for *~NerdfestX~*.
This is not a timeshare or mortgage refinance promotion.
To receive this special message for *~NerdfestX~* call back Monday through Friday, between 7 AM and 4 PM at" - /CLICK/

gently caress off. Don't call ME telling me to call YOU.

Ugh gently caress this poo poo so much, and double gently caress the calls where they call you and then put you on hold without even telling you what the hell is going on. Eat my rear end, telemarketers or whoever the gently caress can't even answer the phone when YOU'RE THE ONE CALLING ME! :rant:

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






It's like serial killer summer camp.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Those eHarmony ads with CEO Grandpa and his impossibly precocious granddaughter are the worst offender to me. Of course eHarmony caters to people who still have Norman Rockwell calendars and listen to A Prarie Home Companion so it probably works like a charm.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






muscles like this? posted:

The only thing I really notice about that commercial is that the dad is Garrus Vakarian.

"Excuse me, I have to calibrate some rotisseries."

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






That Robox posted:

After thinking maybe she'd finally disappeared, and not watching TV for quite a while, I see that the annoying Dump Cake lady is back with a sequel: Dump Dinners.

The food looks okay I guess, but I'm not too keen on eating anything with "dump" in the name. There's a million other names they could call it, but with the way "dump" is used every other word it's pretty obvious the name is the selling point.

I laughed my rear end off the first time I heard a Dump Cake commercial. I get the whole thing about the convenience but holy poo poo could you have come up with a better term than repeating "dump" constantly.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






BaylonGreyjoyDies posted:

i really hate all ads, thats why i block them with adblock plus on google chrome

You can use Adblock Plus custom filters to block all sorts of annoying poo poo, like comments sections and those screen-covering "like us on Facebook!" java popups at the ends of articles. The internet is a much saner place since I discovered this.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Nerdfest X posted:

Can anyone confirm if the Dad in the KFC "we eat rotisserie chicken so much the kids use the plastic containers as hobby supplies" commercial is named Brandon Keener?
If so this commercial was playing during a Criminal Minds rerun, where his character was a twisted child rapist/murderer ("The Pact" season 8, episode 2).

I haven't found like, production credits for the ad or anything but yeah, that's totally Brandon Keener a.k.a. Garrus from Mass Effect. That commercial placement sounds about as magical as this infamous one from BSG:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zcum6lPrRo

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






TMMadman posted:

I'm torn on the Budweiser ad because on the one hand beer snobs usually are pretty insufferable. But on the other hand, despite the fact that I drink it when I go for cheap domestic beer, Bud is pretty bad.

The best commercial during the Super Bowl was the Snickers one. The second best was the dead kid Nationwide one because it spawned this:



My god, that Nationwide commercial was so bad that it spawned a microcosm of this thread discussion amongst my friends for about ten minutes afterwards. It was loving special.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Mister Kingdom posted:

At 1:30 - he's going to gently caress that bear, isn't he?

By the end of the commercial they're strongly implying a m/f/b threesome.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Timett posted:

Interesting. Fair enough. I want to reiterate that I did admit from the start that they probably knew a lot better than me on this one but it sure is hard to believe. Isn't the Coke logo one of the most recognizable images in the world or some poo poo

It is so precisely because they place it upon every surface and embed it in every media source available.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Vicas posted:

This article about that ridiculous Game of War Kate Upton ads is both fascinating and completely confirms your suspicions that somehow hiring a supermodel for dumb ads about a mobile game was working out in their favor

http://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2015-game-of-war/

I know this was posted two weeks ago but holy poo poo is this article annoyingly presented. When did Bloomberg become the Web 2.0 successor to GeoCities?

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Timett posted:

I don't understand why there is a need for chicken fries when their nuggets are the same drat thing just not elongated.

Chicken fries, their worse for dipping!

It's hard to pay whatever the asking price is when they've been doing that 10 nuggets for $1.49 special fairly often of late.

Somehow they taste worse, too. I don't know how or why changing the shape of a piece of pressed patty meat can alter its flavor, but damned if chicken fries haven't prove it's possible.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Retail Slave posted:

gently caress the Charter Spectrum Triple Play dancing call center commercial. gently caress it so incredibly hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rObyWwvHeUw

I used to watch that commercial repeatedly (with the godawful sound muted) to search for any sign of insincerity on the part of the actors, and there is none whatsoever. They created dancing homunculi to perform this abjectly ridiculous routine.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Mister Kingdom posted:

Ladies, do you wish you were living in the 18th century? Do you like having your guts crammed together?

You can enjoy all the pain with Miss Belt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22X5_flsKgQ

"Do you want to know their secret?"

It's photoshop. :rolleye:

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






muscles like this? posted:

Reading small print in commercials can be fun. Like how Hunts makes a big deal about other tomato canners pealing with lye while they do it with steam. The small print says that the FDA states lye is perfectly safe.

Or how Tyson states that their chicken doesn't have added hormones or antibiotics and the small print says that those aren't allowed in any chicken in the US.

Food fads are rife with this poo poo. "Low-carb" and "gluten free" being plastered on stuff that never had any of it to begin with, or anything "organic" as if it's an intrinsic health benefit. Mmmm spoonfuls of organic cane sugar and saturated fat, it does a body good!

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






I imagine it works on a wish fulfillment angle. It targets that demo insofar as how they'd like to see themselves, not the reality of the situation.

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McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Agreed about the food but Sonic has the best cherry limeaids from any fast food place I've ever been, and my local one is really generous with the fruit so I usually end up with 4-5 cherries and half a lime at the bottom of my cup. It's ambrosia on a triple-digit summer day.

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