FATAL and Friends: Obscure and/or mockable RPG books

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Comedy Purgatory > FATAL and Friends: Obscure and/or mockable RPG books

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

quote:

Invisibility: Lasts until broken by the user or someone else (And you can't attack while invisible). So charm that warlord then just turn invisible and whisper orders in his ear all day.

drat, that's one evil spell combo you just invented. As far as his buddies know, Steve the Warlord just went crazy as a shithouse rat.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2011 01:19

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# ¿ May 23, 2013 08:48

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

anagramarye posted:

Part 2 - Powers will be next time. In the meantime, people need to decide if this will be an Angelic Avian or a Harpy Avian.

Angel. After that Deity roll, you pretty much have to. Why, oh why, did you eat that strangely metallic egg you found in the ancient temple that worships a robot god and a bird god?

# ¿ Aug 5, 2011 03:52

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

"For further information about Chinese vampires, visit your local library. Or just watch some animes, it's all the same poo poo."

# ¿ Aug 8, 2011 22:15

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Considering it's already a fanmade hodge-podge, how hard do you suppose it would be to reskin Fate as a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure homebrew game? Since you can modify Servants, weapons and special skills with the Quality/Flaw point system, you could conceivably represent some pretty wacky Stands & powers. Although it almost seems like Araki foresaw someone trying to do this and set out to make the most out and out bizarre powers possible.

Just for an example, there's a character from the Golden Wind story with a nearly identical power to what you gave LHO. His Stand manifests as six one-inch tall sprites who ride bullets he fires from his revolver to redirect them in mid-flight. However, there's also a guy whose power is to put zippers on things so that he can take them apart or access hidden "pockets" on their insides.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2011 18:29

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

quote:

Though played in a group setting, THE SECRET FIRE can venture beyond the confines of the gaming table through single-play. The game features an option that allows the players to become adventurers outside the context of the game session by improving their own loves and communities in the real world, which can in turn grant benefits in the game world (see Appendix C: The Adventure Never Ends...).

Are you... are you supposed to give the MC a handy under the table?

# ¿ Aug 12, 2011 18:37

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Syrg Sapphire posted:

To be fair they have toned him back greatly after that event. When you write something so stupid everyone who comes after goes "whoa, whoa, wait a minute, what the gently caress" IN COMICS, you've done an amazing job.

And by toned him back you mean they explained how every time Wolverine dies, he just beats up the Angel of Death instead of walking into the light. And you're right, that one mostly got a pass.

Besides, everyone knows Wolverine's adamantium isn't true adamantium. It can be affected by God Power and Verdant Namekian.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2011 03:09

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Stormgale posted:

So we actually get some setting information: seems that early Scions back in the olden days would protect humanity by killing monsters and telling the gods to stop being such massive dicks. It appears they were were too good at killing monsters cause humanity flourished turned into nations which would apparently through a process called �Fatebinding� drag the gods to war with each other unless they stopped being so attached to the mortal realm, so they fled up to the �Overworld� and apparently avoided this.

That's actually... somewhat clever, and at least it isn't just another "oh, people stopped believing in them for some reason & now they're weak" explanation for why the gods aren't around today.

The constant boning to raise an army though?

# ¿ Aug 19, 2011 15:44

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

quote:

also any Americans who can tell me who these Emperors are supposed to be so I stop confusing them with fast food mascots.

Okey Dokey.

Apparently XCrawl plays fast and loose with history even when they're trying to copy-paste it, as "fourth emperor" John I and "his successor" John II are second President John Adams and his son, sixth President John Quincy Adams. James II is James Buchanan, Lincoln's predecessor (and incidentally the fourth POTUS named James). Howard I is William Howard Taft, who in Xcrawl somehow managed to be Jimmy "James III" Carter's predecessor.

Assuming real life Dates of Birth & Death hold true in the Xcrawl universe, Carter became Emperor at the age of 6 & was a ripe old 12 when Hitler starts the war in Europe.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2011 17:54

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Mr. Maltose posted:

Hey, it's alternate American history without gratuitous Teddy Roosevelt. How surprisingly restrained for a game as 90s as XCrawl.

To be fair, or actually less fair now that I think about it, the Internet had not yet lionized St. Teddy in the '90s.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2011 18:32

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

And those critical fails are supposed to be what happens when the Gods have got your back? I bet the Wizard section is gonna read like something out of Magical Burst.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2011 23:01

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Was it based on Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose?

# ¿ Aug 31, 2011 21:09

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Kwyndig posted:

stuff

All I got out of that is that beams are good, an Itano Circus is better. Fire missiles until you fire all the missiles.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2011 02:19

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

The apricorn thing is actually from the games. Basically it works on Nintendo logic.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2011 17:07

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

ZeeToo posted:

With further feats, your arm can use the Pokemon moves Bullet Punch, Meteor, and Rock Smash.

You can also give it a sword, make it buoyant and give it a propeller so it will pull you through water , and equip it with a launcher so you bean Pokemon with the balls to make them easier to catch.

That's it. You're just a young teenager carting around a 40 lb mechanical arm that doubles as a sword, boat, and drill.

Why even play Pokemon then? You've got teens with bionic arms stolen from super robots. Play fuckin' Arm of Revenge: Tabletop Miniature Edition.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2011 02:51

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Evil Mastermind posted:

_{You are the moooooon...}

Okay, seriously. Someone's gonna have to explain this to me. Was it in grognards.txt?

# ¿ Sep 8, 2011 18:11

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Someone should really cover more of this D&D thing. It's so obscure it's hardly been mentioned in this thread!

# ¿ Sep 8, 2011 18:38

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

I'm pretty sure Kindred is one of those shows that occasionally pops up on SyFy for like a week where they air six hour marathons starting at 4 AM. That and Sentinel.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2011 16:48

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

quote:

There are three types of player. If you objected to that sentence as a gross generalization, lose a level. Then lose another one. Then lose a third four paragraphs later when it says most gamers will be composites of all three in varying degrees.

Oh shiiiiiit, I'm at negative levels already! Why oh why did I have to be a proponent of the Bartle test?!?

# ¿ Sep 12, 2011 20:36

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

FactsAreUseless posted:

I think it's time to cash in on 90s nostalgia with the 90sest game ever. We can call it "Liefeld: The Extremening." It will be a point-buy system with Pouches as an attribute. There will be no attributes, abilities, or advantages in any way related to feet. (Except for the 3-point disadvantage "Tiny Feet.")

One stat would be "Guns". Not how well you use them, how many you have.

Same for "Muscles" now that I think about it. Mega-xyber-huge.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2011 00:10

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Mystic Mongol posted:

It's not all bad, he's got some lines in here which are mildly amusing even as they're theologically, historically, and just generally confusing. In the section on Teutonic gods not being jealous of worship and tolerating someone worshiping them and the Christian god at the same time, "Thor didn't mind in the least (although it's reported he once challenged Christ to single combat, an offer our Savior politely declined)". What, were they hanging out at a bar or something?

At least the Asgardians get along better with Macho Man Jesus Christ than the Olympians.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2011 16:21

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Combat bonuses for menstruating?

# ¿ Sep 14, 2011 02:57

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Der Waffle Mous posted:

I'm a terrible person because I want to add transforming robots to that and have my players sing at 60ft tall aliens.

Hey, it worked for Robotech/Macross.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2011 01:21

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

VanSandman posted:

You know the answer already.

Banned in XCrawl and illegal for American citizens?

# ¿ Sep 16, 2011 21:00

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Punting posted:

What, like a kappa?

No, like the mummy from Bubba Ho-Tep.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2011 00:38

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Kayumi posted:

But what game system offers anus-shades, and why aren't we reviewing it here?

I'd imagine FATAL does, and because Syrg can only stay in work mode for so long on independent projects.

Ettin posted:

Utilize the Familiar: Also, consider using real world elements in your game! Use real world athletes, real world companies or real world locations! Or in other words, "You can infuse your game with characters and places to enhance the reality of the game." I know my game of Xcrawl would be enhanced with Charles Barkley. I wonder if Nike would become Victoria, though.

I think any tabletop game would be enhanced with the Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden version of Sir Charles. Too bad the Athlete class is so, so lovely.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2011 16:35

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

It's not so much MadLibs as it is "Quick! Think up words! Anything will do!"

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 02:37

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

TombsGrave posted:

Storm the Castle, a roleplaying game written by David Gonterman;

That name is tripping something way in the bottom of my memory. I want to say it involves impossibly lovely webcomics? If so, do it.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 15:49

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

FactsAreUseless posted:

It's going to be fantastic!

I play Dungeons and Dragons now. Dungeons and Dragons is cool.

# ¿ Sep 23, 2011 19:15

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Fun fact, the Fallout fan wiki (because there's a wiki for everything) has the original GURPS design document for the Mr. Handy robot.

code:

    Brain: Small brain with +3 DX booster (1 lb, .02 cf, $1,500), Complexity 3.
    Sensors: Basic sensors with One-Eye (.8 lbs, .02 cf, $4,000, -15 points).
    Communicator: Basic communicator with Disturbing Voice (.5 lbs, .01 cf, $125, 10 points).
    Arm Motors: Six arm motors ST20 extra-flexible (6 lbs, .12 cf, $6,000, .1 KW). Arm motors cost 60 points.
    Propulsion: Two 200 KW motive power ducted fans, vectored (147 lbs, 1.47 cf, $5,880) with GEV skirts.
    Accessories: Integral mechanic toolset (10 lbs, .2 cf, $200); Spotlight (2.5 lbs, .05 cf, $25).
    Power System: Routine power requirement 400.6 KW. One nuclear power unit with 200 KW output (225 lbs, 2.25 cf, $45,000, 2 year endurance). 
       Eight rechargeable E-cells with 270,000 KWS output (20 lbs, .2 cf, $2,000). Point cost for power system is 30 points.
    Subassemblies: Head, two pods (�left pod� and �right pod�), six arms (�arm one� to �arm six�).
    Body Design: Houses nuclear power unit, rechargeable E-cells, integral mechanic toolset, and small brain.
    Head Design: Houses sensors, spotlight and communicator. Full rotation.
    Pod Design: Houses ducted fans.
    Arm Design: Houses arm motors and manipulators.
    Area: Body 16, Head 1.5, Left Pod 8, Right Pod 8, Arm 1.5 (x6), Total Surface Area 42.5.
    Structure: Normal structure (127.5 lbs, $4,250).
    Hit Points: Body 24, Head 2, Pod 12, Arm 5.
    Armor: Metal armor: Body DR 20, PD 4; Pod DR 20, PD 4; Arm DR 20, PD 4; Head DR 30, PD 4 (86.5 lbs, $1,730).
    Statistics: 907.8 lbs (.45 tonnes), 7.81 cf (3 hexes, 2.96 yards), $120,590.
       Body ST 12, arm ST 20 (70 points), DX 12 (20 points), IQ 6 (-30 points), HT 10/24 (70 points). Speed 6 (20 points). 
       Legality 4. Point cost: 235 points.

Here's what the average player needs to know: Shoot it in the eyes.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2011 16:19

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Dareon posted:

The PCs acquire something with premonitory abilities, but it makes its predictions such that they cannot be read before it has made a certain number. The first prediction it makes details a card force. The rest of them detail actions that occur during the game (and are then written down by the premonitory thingie), and once you force the card on the players, the premonitions are complete and the "predictions" can be read and will all be TRUE! :aaaaa

Make sure to point out to your players that the envelopes have been hermetically sealed and have been kept in a #2 mayonnaise jar under Funk and Wagnall's porch since noon today.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2011 17:50

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Strange Matter posted:

I think one thing that Cthulhu Tech messed up is that it goes too far in some areas, and not far enough in others. It uses the idea of mankind trying to use technology to combat arcane horrors but doesn't really draw from that anymore than saying "Hey giant robots are cool." But at the same time it goes too far with overpopulating the world with a dozen different factions, each more obtuse than the last and basically making the whole setting a mess. Call of Cthulhu, for all its crazy mythos, is a very clean setting in this sense. There are humans, there are old gods, and there are monsters in between. That's about the gist of it.

Coming at this as a fan of Super Robot Wars, I actually wish the setting had more factions. Only one & half alien races? Three clearly delineated cults? That's hardly a clusterfuck at all.

You're not even gonna be fighting all of them at once unless you're a Tager.

WickedIcon posted:

Roar of the Machine God Demonbane

That isn't the one where the Necronomicon is a scantily clad schoolgirl, is it?

HitTheTargets fucked around with this message at Oct 9, 2011 around 20:44

# ¿ Oct 9, 2011 19:23

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Ettin posted:

There are six Attributes in CthulhuTech, rated on a scale from 1 to 10. There's no given scale, but we're told 1 is "considered severely challenged", 5 is average and 10 is "downright amazing". Also, people can turn it up to eleven if they like, which makes them "paragons and off the normal charts". The Attributes are:

Agility: Now that I've made this list, a thought occurs.

Intellect: You can tell what these are reading the name can't you?

Perception: Well that was a waste of a bunch of BBcode tags.

Presence: Oh! Presence is "charm, beauty, force of personality, and social ability". Presence does not necessarily equal beauty.

Strength: By the way, I made up "Pervert". You can sigh in relief now.

Tenacity: Endurance, stamina and willpower. It's used in magic too!

They also determine our Secondary Attributes, which are things like Movement and Reflex that come up later.

This is basically Fallout's SPECIAL without Luck and with the ability to go straight-up Spinal Tap. So clearly the answer is to pump INT for sweet, sweet Skill Points.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2011 05:01

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

chelsea clinton posted:

The what? Are you referring to how the men are cool and sensible (for some values of "sensible", anyway) while the women are pretty and sexy? Because those are both aimed at the same audience.

Exactly. It comes from from a sidebar Ettin quoted in the first CTech post:

quote:

Okay, here it is � we use he, him, and his when we�re talking about people playing the game. It just seems weird to alternate pronoun genders within the same book � it makes it feel like the book is written for two different audiences. The masculine pronoun is the standard and right or wrong we�re used to seeing it. It may not be politically correct, but you can�t please everybody.

Basically saying if you think the book is sexist "you can't judge it, it's not FOR you."

# ¿ Oct 10, 2011 17:32

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

quote:

"If you�re looking to outfit your character with equipment that isn�t listed here, find the early 21st century equivalent, divide the cost by 2, and multiply the total by 1.4 (Tn=($/2)*1.4)."

And obviously you don't multiply by 0.7 because .

# ¿ Oct 16, 2011 01:48

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

FactsAreUseless posted:

There's something rather sad about an adventuring party carrying around dozens of bags of holding, and absolutely nothing to put in them.

Don't be silly. They'd only carry one Bag of Holding, with all the other BoHs inside. Possibly matryoshka-style, but it depends on how verisimilitudinous that would be.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2011 00:35

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

Drox posted:

I just think it's funny, because you know that's not what THEY mean, and I know from experience that it can take you 20 minutes to dig a hole for a decent-sized shrub if the soil is uncooperative.

I've heard just getting the shrubbery is so difficult some knights demand it be done as a test for wandering Adventurers.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2011 19:11

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

quote:

That's about it, really. The last page of the chapter lists monsters found in each cult and gives advice for Storyguides - you should use monsters sparingly to keep them frightening, hint at their presence before they appear, and give them long and creepy descriptions. Not terrible advice, to be honest. It also suggests modifying the statblocks to keep them varied and individual, or even giving monsters powers they normally wouldn't have to mix it up (also a good idea, if you don't do it too often.) We're told to see Chapter Fifteen for more, and paging ahead reveals brief rules for advancing monsters.

You know what'd go really well with customized Integrity scale monsters? Custom mechs.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2011 15:29

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

And if you don't do Robotech, at least tell us what the attack description is.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2011 20:14

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

quote:

5. Nobody ages in my house.
6. The pantry in my house always has food and drink in it.
8. My house cannot be harmed in any way.

Hah, see you jerks in the modern age! Gonna get my turtle on.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2011 02:16

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# ¿ May 23, 2013 08:48

HitTheTargets: Mar 3, 2006; I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those bat-men.

I like how all magic is the result of bargaining with supernatural creatures, but the Sidhe and the Russian animal spirits aren't dicks about it.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2011 19:08

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