Search Amazon.com:
Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«901 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Dead Man Posting
Sep 1, 2008




THIS THREAD CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ALL BOOKS IN THE A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE SERIES

WILD CARDS Goons are writing parodies of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series and E. L. Jame's Fifty Shades of Grey




Spoilers

A Dance with Dragons has been published. This is the latest, long-awaited book in the series that goons have been pining for since 2005. So, since none of us care for spoiler tags, it is best if you go to the spoiler-free thread until you've read it. If you haven't read it yet, chances are that discussion in this thread will literally and unironically ruin your life.

Do you want to continue making surprise sex and lemoncake jokes? Because you sure as hell can't in this thread!

This is no longer the bad thread, it's called "the bland thread". So don't go too far. This thread is intended to be an actual book discussion rather than a FYAD-lite dump-ground of useless posts. Here's why if you want to know. The rules still apply. Please use your shift key in order to make coherent post, no empty-quoting, and try to make at least one funny comment or useful statement in your post. Bonus points if you add images.



IRC Channel

You may by all means join the IRC channel #thebadthread on irc.synric.net, or click here for instant access, in order to continue the FYAD-lite stuff.



A Song of Ice and Fire





Thanks to Kylaer for posting this. This is for historical purposes.

  • The original GRRMASOIAF thread. 26 pages, spanning November 15th 2006 to February 13th 2007. Oh how the times have changed since then. There was no hatred, no rage against the GRRM - there was genuine book discussion, and everything was exciting and new. It was eventually closed by a moderator because the thread's creator had vanished, paving the way for...

  • The proto-Bad Thread, which sprawled over 240 pages and lasted from February 13th 2007 to March 25th 2009. These were the years in which the mood among the GRRMASOIAF fans began to sour, and The Bad Thread developed its own distinct culture, combining such elements as a hatred of the GRRM, a love of spoiling newbies, and general pessimism about everything. This thread saw the creation of much fanfiction, and, worse, GRRMfiction. On or about page 205, Bummey coined the phrase "Absolute fucker" in reference to the GRRM, which became a favored epithet. But all things come to an end, and this thread found its termination when a stupid newbie named Egon de Szombathely, who registered specifically to join the discussion, hit Post instead of Reply and spun off a new thread. This thread was prompted closed by Loosechanj, forcing us into our new home, which was...

  • The Bad Thread I, First of Its Name, King of the Spoilers, the Hatred, and the surprise sex Chat. Egon's OP originally read:

    quote:

    Warriors late 2010 early 2011

    A Dance with Dragons late 2110 early 2111?

    Although apt, it was replaced with a more extensive OP shortly thereafter. This thread was by far the most like unto the GRRM in size, bloating to 501 pages between March 24th 2009 and October 12th 2010. The rapechat was developed during its early days, as is entirely appropriate - on or about page 50 was where it really took off. Nothing could stop this behemoth - other than Viconia, who wanted her own version of The Bad Thread, and closed it, making way for...

  • The Bad Thread II, Bad Threadder. This was a seamless continuation of the first Bad Thread, although it did not live up to its parent in size. Between October 12th 2010 and April 20th 2011, it generated 250 pages. The HBO TV series was generating its own threads during the later phase of this, and foolish souls from The Bad Thread launched marauding raids on the hapless TVIV denizens, bringing down the Wrath of the Mods. Then some dumbass posted goatse and got the thread gassed, good job! It was quickly followed by...

  • III Bad Thread. This thread lasted a mere 44 pages between April 20th 2011 and May 1st 2011. During this thread, the official announcement of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS was publicized, leading to much incredulity and rage, with consequential shitposting. It burned brightly, but the incandescence of the thread attracted the gaze of Loosechanj, who decreed that the shitposting had to stop. The egomaniac who created the thread ( ) didn't like this and closed the thread instead, leaving the torch to be picked up by IRQ, in...

  • The Bad ThrIVad. More successful and less shitpost-y than its predecessor, it ran 122 pages from May 1st 2011 to July 2nd 2011. This thread saw the most unbelievable of developments: A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, after being delayed for years, actually got released early, due to a gently caress-up with the German Amazon.com. Oh, what days of glory, as the spoilers flew and the WILD CARDS were separated from the MILD CARDS. This thread was closed by a mod. Why?

  • The Bad Thread V lasted two pages then got closed.

And that brings us here to the bland thread.




You can also discuss the HBO series in this thread. Season 3 of the series premiered on March 31st, 2013. Episodes return next March, 2014.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzI9v_B4sxw&hd=1

Dead Man Posting fucked around with this message at Jul 9, 2014 around 20:55

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dead Man Posting
Sep 1, 2008


Parodies

These are goon-written parodies of A Song of Ice and Fire.

Video Game

A new Game of Thrones game has been released. Click here to visit the official Steam store page for Game of Thrones - Genesis.

Music


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by IRQ


- by Tony Danza Claus, his own lyrics


- by Abnegatus, his own lyrics


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by kcroy


- by mjs6643, his own lyrics


- by Kylaer, his own lyrics


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Contra Calculus


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by...I forget who!


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Bhaal

Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G6QyXl6d2M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lz3lAd2nGQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTTW8M_etko

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYhX75yB0fc

Images










































(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Dead Man Posting fucked around with this message at Jul 9, 2014 around 20:54

A Typical Goon
Feb 25, 2011

I'm not fat I'm big buffed


You should edit the OP. It still says Dance is never coming out. Winds of Winter is never coming out.

cuddlefish
Nov 11, 2003

That was a game.

This is paintball.


You have to wonder if the actors ever read what's coming up and are just totally horrified- like all the rumors about the world of poo poo Theon's in for poor Alfie. Hope they like prosthetic noses, etc.!

It says something when Ned Stark gets out pretty drat good comparatively by being beheaded. I don't know what exactly, but something.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

NAZI GERMANY WAS CONDEMNED ONLY BECAUSE THEY KILLED WHITE PEOPLE.


A small faq:

Q: I want to chat live with horrible people on IRC where do I go?
A: Go to irc.synirc.net #thebadthread

Q: What, how? I don't understand this IRC thing.
A: Click here for instant access.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

NAMCO
Let this old man play Tales of Rebirth
IN ENGLISH!

Well this is Mk. 6 (7?) of the bad thread. Hopefully it will make it past 45 posts this time. Just seems like ever since the TV show came out everything has gotten worse and worse. Its like the TVIV stupidity has soaked into TBB.

KidDynamite
Feb 11, 2005

No, Mr. Rice, I expect you to PLEASE WORK OUT


These threads are highly entertaining lately almost as good as reading the books which I just finished for the first time. Oh and I read all the spoilers in the bad thread 4 and they didn't ruin the books for me.

Duel
Jan 27, 2005



Really?

Duel fucked around with this message at Aug 3, 2011 around 11:40

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010


Follow by example?

Anyway, RIP Bad Thread. Hello....um, whatever the hell this is.

LoG
Mar 9, 2004

CHOMP


Duel posted:

stupid poo poo

Was this really needed to be posted again? It was funny the first time but come on. On another note, a picture of mine ended up in the OP!

Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009

Ask me how bad I can be, motherfucker


Yeah, don't post that poo poo anymore. It's getting really loving stupid and old. I'd rather we get to at least three pages this time.

Anyways, here's Kylaer's history post in my thread that got gassed:

Kylaer posted:

The original GRRMASOIAF thread. 26 pages, spanning November 15th 2006 to February 13th 2007. Oh how the times have changed since then. There was no hatred, no rage against the GRRM - there was genuine book discussion, and everything was exciting and new. It was eventually closed by a moderator because the thread's creator had vanished, paving the way for...


The proto-Bad Thread, which sprawled over 240 pages and lasted from February 13th 2007 to March 25th 2009. These were the years in which the mood among the GRRMASOIAF fans began to sour, and The Bad Thread developed its own distinct culture, combining such elements as a hatred of the GRRM, a love of spoiling newbies, and general pessimism about everything. This thread saw the creation of much fanfiction, and, worse, GRRMfiction. On or about page 205, Bummey coined the phrase "Absolute fucker" in reference to the GRRM, which became a favored epithet. But all things come to an end, and this thread found its termination when a stupid newbie named Egon de Szombathely, who registered specifically to join the discussion, hit Post instead of Reply and spun off a new thread. This thread was prompted closed by Loosechanj, forcing us into our new home, which was...


The Bad Thread I, First of Its Name, King of the Spoilers, the Hatred, and the surprise sex Chat. Egon's OP originally read:

quote:

Warriors late 2010 early 2011

A Dance with Dragons late 2110 early 2111?


Although apt, it was replaced with a more extensive OP shortly thereafter. This thread was by far the most like unto the GRRM in size, bloating to 501 pages between March 24th 2009 and October 12th 2010. The rapechat was developed during its early days, as is entirely appropriate - on or about page 50 was where it really took off. Nothing could stop this behemoth - other than Viconia, who wanted her own version of The Bad Thread, and closed it, making way for...


The Bad Thread II, Bad Threadder. This was a seamless continuation of the first Bad Thread, although it did not live up to its parent in size. Between October 12th 2010 and April 20th 2011, it generated 250 pages. The HBO TV series was generating its own threads during the later phase of this, and foolish souls from The Bad Thread launched marauding raids on the hapless TVIV denizens, bringing down the Wrath of the Mods. Then some dumbass posted goatse and got the thread gassed, good job! It was quickly followed by...


III Bad Thread. This thread lasted a mere 44 pages between April 20th 2011 and May 1st 2011. During this thread, the official announcement of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS was publicized, leading to much incredulity and rage, with consequential shitposting. It burned brightly, but the incandescence of the thread attracted the gaze of Loosechanj, who decreed that the shitposting had to stop. The egomaniac who created the thread ( ) didn't like this and closed the thread instead, leaving the torch to be picked up by IRQ, in...


The Bad ThrIVad. More successful and less shitpost-y than its predecessor, it ran 122 pages from May 1st 2011 to July 2nd 2011. This thread saw the most unbelievable of developments: A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, after being delayed for years, actually got released early, due to a gently caress-up with the German Amazon.com. Oh, what days of glory, as the spoilers flew and the WILD CARDS were separated from the MILD CARDS. This thread was closed by a mod. Why?


And that brings us to today.

Here is the gassed Bad Thread V which I created yesterday that lasted two pages and should serve as an example of what not to do on the first page.

Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at Jul 3, 2011 around 14:15

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Contra Calculus posted:

Here is the gassed Bad Thread V which I created yesterday that lasted two pages and should serve as an example of what not to do on the first page.
That first page is an accurate portrait of the common ASOIAF fan.

my cat is norris
Mar 11, 2010

We must carry this in our hearts: that what we have is special, that it can be taken from us, and that when it is taken from us, we will be tested. We will be tested to our very souls.



I'll come back and link to all of our wonderful songs later today. I'm still not contributing beyond that though because I fear DwD spoilers!

I love and miss you all.

my cat is norris
Mar 11, 2010

We must carry this in our hearts: that what we have is special, that it can be taken from us, and that when it is taken from us, we will be tested. We will be tested to our very souls.




- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by IRQ


- by Tony Danza Claus, his own lyrics


- by Abnegatus, his own lyrics


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by kcroy


- by mjs6643, his own lyrics


- by Kylaer, his own lyrics


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Contra Calculus


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by...I forget who!


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Bhaal

And that's it. I think. Now GOODBYE, I don't want your book spoilers right now!

Dead Man Posting
Sep 1, 2008


Added IRC information and music from my cat is norris to the OP in order to preserve it forever and ever until eternity.

Thanks MCIN, and see you after you're done with Dragons!

Dawncloack
Nov 26, 2007
ECKS DEE!

I like reading the originals in English, but in Fire and Ice, the translation into Spanish is so amazing that I will read only that. It's so well done that I'll stick to it. And that's coming from a professional translator.

Jenova Project
Aug 5, 2007

by Fistgrrl


KidDynamite posted:

These threads are highly entertaining lately almost as good as reading the books which I just finished for the first time. Oh and I read all the spoilers in the bad thread 4 and they didn't ruin the books for me.

But, but, but, spoilers! You should have thrown a fit and cried to the mods because your life is over!

Or maybe you're just well adjusted? No, that couldn't possibly be.

I'm chewing through these books, they're pretty good. I'm still gonna watch the show, because experiencing something isn't the same as knowing about it.

I do not fear knowledge, I am not an anti-intellectual.

Jenova Project fucked around with this message at Jul 3, 2011 around 19:59

kcr
Apr 26, 2010


whowhatwhere posted:

Follow by example?

Anyway, RIP Bad Thread. Hello....um, whatever the hell this is.

this is the 'post here to get probation' thread.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006



Wow, I knew the ADWD early release would send early spoilers and ramp up the Bad Thread, but I didn't think it'd get this bad.

I only even checked this because this is what? The second Bad thread in a few days.

That said I'm going to check out of here until I finish ADWD. I was already told that Arya goes blind thanks to this thread, and while I'm sure nothing important will happen in ADWD I'd still like to be surprised the way I was when Robb's head was cut off by Walder Frey's men.

MILD CARDS BITCHES

Proposition Joe
Oct 8, 2010


mind the walrus posted:

Wow, I knew the ADWD early release would send early spoilers and ramp up the Bad Thread, but I didn't think it'd get this bad.

I only even checked this because this is what? The second Bad thread in a few days.

That said I'm going to check out of here until I finish ADWD. I was already told that Arya goes blind thanks to this thread, and while I'm sure nothing important will happen in ADWD I'd still like to be surprised the way I was when Robb's head was cut off by Walder Frey's men.

MILD CARDS BITCHES

Well the threads didn't get bad because of ADWD spoilers, mostly because nothing happens in ADWD.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

NAMCO
Let this old man play Tales of Rebirth
IN ENGLISH!

Proposition Joe posted:

Well the threads didn't get bad because of ADWD spoilers, mostly because nothing happens in ADWD.

Well thats not totally true. We know that Bran sacrifices Hodor and the Reeds to get more warg power and he actually meets one of the Children. Thats a pretty big reveal to be honest. The big problem is that his whole thing for the last 6 years was how to get Dany relevant to the story and he managed to get her even further away by the end of ADWD. She is now back in Dothraki territory where she started off loving 16 years ago.

Out of curiosity, how many have actually received the book early? Was it like everyone that ordered it from the German Amazon or was it just a select few? Seems like there were a few in the old bad thread who had just got it, but I haven't seen any of them posting in here yet. Probably out of fear since these threads have been probation bait for the last week.

Rednik
Apr 10, 2005




Solice Kirsk posted:

Well thats not totally true. We know that Bran sacrifices Hodor and the Reeds to get more warg power and he actually meets one of the Children. Thats a pretty big reveal to be honest. The big problem is that his whole thing for the last 6 years was how to get Dany relevant to the story and he managed to get her even further away by the end of ADWD. She is now back in Dothraki territory where she started off loving 16 years ago.

Out of curiosity, how many have actually received the book early? Was it like everyone that ordered it from the German Amazon or was it just a select few? Seems like there were a few in the old bad thread who had just got it, but I haven't seen any of them posting in here yet. Probably out of fear since these threads have been probation bait for the last week.

Regardless of whether or not she's in Dothraki territory, she's there riding a full-grown dragon and that's a pretty significant development.



As far as the leak goes, I think it's more than 180, given that Amazon Japan started selling copies, as well as brick&mortar bookstores in Germany.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

NAMCO
Let this old man play Tales of Rebirth
IN ENGLISH!

Rednik posted:

Regardless of whether or not she's in Dothraki territory, she's there riding a full-grown dragon and that's a pretty significant development.


That may be, but she still can't control the thing worth a drat, hence why she's in Dothraki territory again. I know the book isn't going to suck (even Feast was written well, just not as well as the others), but after 10 years of waiting to find out what is going on with these characters it just seems like much ado about nothing. I really can't see how he is going to tie all of this mess up (since he just added ANOTHER Targ to the mix) in two more books. He still needs to:

Get Dany in control of an army and into Westeros
Tie up the loose ends with Tyrion
Resurrect Jon (or make him not die or whatever)
Reveal Jon's heritage (whatever it may be)
Follow up with Maegery
Finish up Jaime/Breinne/Cat
Do whatever with Davos/Rickon
Get Bran into the mix again (his story is going to get really great I think)
Introduce Arya (or not Arya as it seems to finally be now) back into Westeros
Tie things up with Littlefinger/Sansa
Tie the war of the North up
Finish explaining what The Others are and have them finally attack
Tie things up with Aegon
Have the Zombie Gregor/Sandor show down
Resurrect Hodor as the rightful King of Westeros and live happily ever after

Thats a lot of poo poo to get into two books (and there's a bunch of stuff I know I'm forgetting). Especially for a writer that takes entire books to build up to one or two events. This series will never be completed. What we suspected was true, the man has no exit strategy and this series will go on forever with out being completed even if the GRRM out lives us all. By 2019 we will be talking about how he will not be able to tie the series up by the 10th book and Dany still won't be in Westeros.

Hannibal Rex
Feb 13, 2010


Amazon.de supposedly sent out only 180 copies or so. I got mine on the 30th, but I had the book preordered since about 2008. I don't know about any other leaks.

And at the rate he's moving the plot forward in Dance, there's no way in hell he'll finish in two more books.

hypocrite lecteur
Aug 21, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Hannibal Rex posted:

And at the rate he's moving the plot forward in Dance, there's no way in hell he'll finish in two more books.

I think most people pretty much assumed that without ever even seeing the new book

Ika
Dec 30, 2004
Pure insanity

Hannibal Rex posted:

Amazon.de supposedly sent out only 180 copies or so. I got mine on the 30th, but I had the book preordered since about 2008. I don't know about any other leaks.

And at the rate he's moving the plot forward in Dance, there's no way in hell he'll finish in two more books.

A guy at my office also got one of the leaked copies, and he only ordered it sometime this year.

As for the normal bookstores selling them, I have rarely seen them hold back a book after they have received the shipement, I have seen variou books out over a month early.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004

Congratulations on not getting fit in 2011!

And for shitting up the Shadowrun 5E thread in 2014!


Aww. Now I'm sad. Came back looking for the Bad Thread as an antidote to my friends sperging on how good the book's going to be, and all I find is it's rotting corpse.

Truly, the Gurm's reach knows no limits.

Dendra
May 3, 2009


Ika posted:

As for the normal bookstores selling them, I have rarely seen them hold back a book after they have received the shipement, I have seen variou books out over a month early.

I called a bunch of places and they're all insistent on waiting till the 12th

bigmcgaffney
Apr 19, 2009


My quote finally became the thread title and then the goddamn book had to come out and the thread got closed. gently caress your impeccable timing, gurmsire.

sarsbar
Oct 16, 2007

GA: Yes Your Shout Pole Is Like A Tower Broadcasting Your Fear Across The Ring And You Are Right To Be Afraid


Hi there! Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Grab your lemoncakes and pedobait, because I have a conspiracy theory for you!

Loosechanj = GRRM?



You decide...

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Scissors
Mar 22, 2004




You spent way to long on a really terrible troll.

kcroy
May 30, 2002

WILDCARDS BITCHES!


Scissors posted:

You spent way to long on a really terrible troll.

I thought it was kinda funny. It's not like this thread is active anyway.

Ixian
Oct 9, 2001

Ex-Sweathog.

A Dance of Dragons leaks early thanks to ZEE GERMANS, spoilers start popping up all over the net, GRRM fandom is having a worldwide embolism over it, and yet you all are still arguing over what constitutes a bad thread or not. I expected more of this thread.

Anyway, we're a week out, maybe this thread will survive until then at which point we can do something new here - actually discuss the books. For my part, I just re-read AFFC, initially with the same enthusiasm Stannis takes to his marriage bed, but I ended up liking it a little better this time. Maybe because I know I only have to wait a week to continue it now? Anyone else try this?

Paper Lion
Dec 13, 2009





I got mine early because I have connections to publishing company executive director and insisted that I wouldn't believe the book existed until I was holding it...then I just never gave it back to her

Ixian
Oct 9, 2001

Ex-Sweathog.

Some dude has posted a chapter by chapter rundown of the thing. I refuse to read it, but I fully expect a ton of "Snape Kills Dumbledore" posts all over the net for the next week so be forewarned.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

NAMCO
Let this old man play Tales of Rebirth
IN ENGLISH!

Who is that meant to warn? The people that came into the spoiler thread? May want to post that in the non-spoiler thread as well since those are the people that would probably be ruined by it.

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002


Every soup ladled to the hungry, every blanket draped over the cold signifies, in the final sense, a theft from my gigantic paycheck.

Ixian posted:

A Dance of Dragons leaks early thanks to ZEE GERMANS, spoilers start popping up all over the net, GRRM fandom is having a worldwide embolism over it, and yet you all are still arguing over what constitutes a bad thread or not. I expected more of this thread.

Anyway, we're a week out, maybe this thread will survive until then at which point we can do something new here - actually discuss the books. For my part, I just re-read AFFC, initially with the same enthusiasm Stannis takes to his marriage bed, but I ended up liking it a little better this time. Maybe because I know I only have to wait a week to continue it now? Anyone else try this?

I liked rereading AFFC because I read it on my kindle and could just hit "next chapter" anytime a Brieane chapter came up. I had forgotten how satisfying Cerci's plight at the end was.

Rednik
Apr 10, 2005




I found scans on another website and read the first 100 pages or so (don't want to get probated by posting the links). It's great so far. It was amazing reading a new Bran chapter for the first time since 2005 for me.

Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009

Ask me how bad I can be, motherfucker


Yeah, I like Brienne as a character, but goddamn if her chapters aren't some of the most boring parts of Feast. The problem is she's just going from village to village doing the exact same futile poo poo in her search for Sansa. She's better as a non-POV.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

sarsbar
Oct 16, 2007

GA: Yes Your Shout Pole Is Like A Tower Broadcasting Your Fear Across The Ring And You Are Right To Be Afraid


Scissors posted:

You spent way to long on a really terrible troll.

Thirty seconds?

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«901 »