ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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visceril: Feb 24, 2008

A modern masterpiece

# ? Aug 26, 2016 04:15

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 10:34

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Super Ninja Fish posted:

Here, I'll give you something to read.

The part where she bootslaps herself a few feet into the air is my favorite.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 07:18

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Super Ninja Fish posted:

Here, I'll give you something to read.

Laughing out loud

# ? Aug 26, 2016 08:12

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Super Ninja Fish posted:

Is it crazier than what's going on in the Trump thread? What is going on in the Trump thread? It's 8,576 pages long.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3680205&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=8576

Must be an exciting thread to have that many people wanting to post in it.

As the former 3rd-highest poster in that thread: we've been making fun of Trump since he announced his candidacy, and the length of the thread is because of how much material he's given us.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 08:20

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

reignofevil posted:

God drat it I came to this thread because I ran out of trump poo poo to read for the day and now all we have left here are links to the trump thread.

Me too, what the gently caress?

# ? Aug 26, 2016 08:20

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

lmao okay that was my favorite GoB excerpt yet

# ? Aug 26, 2016 14:44

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008

Super Ninja Fish posted:

Here, I'll give you something to read.

Thank you.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 15:42

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

lmao okay that was my favorite GoB excerpt yet

What's GoB?

# ? Aug 27, 2016 04:20

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Jewel Repetition posted:

What's GoB?

welp, can't sugar coat this - it's game of bones, the disturbing game of thrones erotic fanfiction written by this thread's posters

# ? Aug 27, 2016 04:32

some bust on that guy: Jan 21, 2006; This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

You have to mention that it's over 200 pages long, in case anyone thinks this is just a few pages, as I thought all this time. They put some work into this poo poo.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17259252-a-game-of-bones
GOB chapter summary
COK chapter summary

# ? Aug 27, 2016 05:10

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Can I have all the parts written by the person who wrote that last thing?

# ? Aug 27, 2016 06:38

GodFish: Oct 10, 2012; We're your first, last, and only line of defense. We live in secret. We exist in shadow.

And we dress in black.

Simply purchase T.B. Thread's masterpiece A Game of Bones and read chapters 11, 12 and 23.

# ? Aug 27, 2016 06:47

kcroy: May 30, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

Jewel Repetition posted:

Can I have all the parts written by the person who wrote that last thing?

Yeah man buy a copy and support the goons who wrote it.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/269101
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-g...n=2940044216808

https://kindle.amazon.com/work/game-bones-t-b-thread-ebook/B00AZ8A3P4/B00AZ8A3P4
What is this poo poo, did Amazon take it down?

And look at this humorless gently caress:

quote:

Drinking pure sulfuric acid while drilling into your stomach with a 2" cement bit pales in comparison to being forced to read this monstrosity.

# ? Aug 27, 2016 12:42

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

i thought amazon took it down about the same time a game of bones the porno movie parody came out for reasons

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GfwZ8Znbr0

i can't remember who came up with the title first but i'd like to think it was saviorx or whoever

# ? Aug 27, 2016 14:09

kcroy: May 30, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

syscall girl posted:

i thought amazon took it down about the same time a game of bones the porno movie parody came out for reasons

i can't remember who came up with the title first but i'd like to think it was saviorx or whoever

This thread came up with the title first I'm sure.

http://www.facebook.com/gameofbones/ I piggy backed off their announcement to scrape in some likes. I made 24k people read that ad!

# ? Aug 27, 2016 16:38

some bust on that guy: Jan 21, 2006; This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

A GLISTENING HODOR, GOB Excerpt posted:

Orion pushed Kate forward off the bed. He pinned her, facing away from him, into the chest of drawers. He slid himself into her sweet pink womanliness again, his buttocks clenched, holding in the iron dildo as he thrust into her. His hands went to her breasts and she moaned with pleasure. She looked up to see herself in the reflecting glass, and looked into the face of a woman in ecstacy. Orion continued to squeeze and massage Kate�s breasts, and a faint white blossom of her milk emerged at the tips. I haven�t produced milk in ages, Kate thought, the first dribbles running down her nipple and onto his large and powerful hands. �5 gods, this is�� she moaned, unable to say incredible, as she began to gush from her womanhood and her tits. As he squeezed harder more milk came pouring out in torrents, and she quivered and shook violently. She screamed out in a deep, guttural moan and convulsed violently. It was the most intense orgasm of her life as wave after wave of hot blood surged through every part of her and her mind went blank with her only thought being that of her powerful waves of raw ecstasy. She went limp and lay in the puddle of her own milk atop the chest of drawers, breath heavy and rapid.

Orion slid himself out of her and he placed his hands in the pool of milk, then rubbed it onto his glistening, turgid cock. Kate�s milk and womanly juices mixing together with each stroke to create a perfumed grease of raw womanhood. His manhood slathered white and hungry for more of her found its way easing into her rear end. Her quivering ruby starfruit eased to make way for Orion and soon his sword was buried to its hilt in her shapely bottom. He thrust into her sweetly, not like when he was in her proper hole. Kate grimaced and squeeked out tiny noises of complaint, followed by deep sighs of unimaginable pleasure. Never before had a man been in her rear end. Her husband was a very bland man of simple tastes. And now here she was, her first time, and with such an immense man. Kate had no idea anything like this could feel so good, as she felt him running in and out of her rear end, feeling him move through places she'd never known were in her.

Shageletic, GOB Excerpt posted:

�To truly enjoy the steel,� Sensa said. �One must let it enter you. rear end to rear end!�

She stuck each end of the device up to the two men's asses. Jeffrey could not help but give a gasp as she plunged into him, and up his narrow waist. For the larger man, the pushing was much harder. His muscular buttocks clenched as she shoved the phallic object into him, but the Pound grunted, a sound of pleasure to Sensa's ears.

�By all the Gods!� Jeffrey said. �It's so warm!�

�'Tis a lick of dragon's tongue!� the Pound said.

Their manhoods were full and hard. They positively vibrated as Jeffrey and his closest friend shook with pleasure. Sensa grabbed the middle of the fluid covered rod and shook it, sending her lovers to even greater ecstasy. She knelt there and rustled up her dress above her knees, and delved into herself greedily.

# ? Aug 27, 2016 18:08

SaviourX: Sep 30, 2003; The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.

Fuckin' get to the the vampire poo poo in season 2 already, boys. Crack it out.

e:

quote:

She knelt there and rustled up her dress above her knees, and delved into herself greedily.

This is almost a quality sentence, goddamn.

SaviourX fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Aug 27, 2016

# ? Aug 27, 2016 20:15

SaviourX: Sep 30, 2003; The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.

Get off my wall with this nonsense.

# ? Aug 27, 2016 20:15

SaviourX: Sep 30, 2003; The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.

e: quote not edit

# ? Aug 27, 2016 20:16

kcroy: May 30, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

SaviourX posted:

Get off my wall with this nonsense.

forgot to include the others.. oh Vigilant Watchman Adam... Quis Irrumates ipsos Irrumatores?

kcroy fucked around with this message at 07:15 on Aug 28, 2016

# ? Aug 28, 2016 07:07

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

SaviourX posted:

This is almost a quality sentence, goddamn.

That's literally 100% a sentence George R. R. Martin would write.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 09:35

LiterallyATomato: Mar 17, 2009

quote:

Truly, T.B Thread is the Vietnamese Tolkien.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 22:14

SaviourX: Sep 30, 2003; The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.

Jewel Repetition posted:

That's literally 100% a sentence George R. R. Martin would write.

Then I stand by my assertion!

# ? Aug 29, 2016 03:06

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Try to imagine him describing a woman in a skirt masturbating, and NOT writing that. You can't do it.

# ? Aug 29, 2016 09:58

Number Ten Cocks: Feb 25, 2016; by zen death robot

Can someone gif 1:47-1:49 for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CLCOvZOh1o

# ? Aug 29, 2016 15:45

UrAClassAct: Apr 10, 2012

Number Ten Cocks posted:

Can someone gif 1:47-1:49 for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CLCOvZOh1o

Done

# ? Aug 30, 2016 10:46

KKKLIP ART: Sep 3, 2004

Number Ten Cocks posted:

Can someone gif 1:47-1:49 for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CLCOvZOh1o

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:28

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

Saw a musical version of Game of Thrones at the Edinburgh Fringe Fest. Seriously, what the gently caress, which one of you assholes wrote it? It was framed as a bunch of friends trying to cheer up another friend who had recently been divorced by inviting her to watch the season premiere of HBO's A Game of Thrones Season 7. She admitted to having never watched the show so the rest of the musical was a retelling of the entire series up to that point.

Highlights included:

One guy bringing his new friend that he met on the street, "George", to the party and George slowly morphing into GRRM as the party progressed (a beard, glasses, suspenders, and stupid hat appear on him between each major musical scene)
Dany singing about her hopes and dreams while being hosed from behind by Drogo the entire time
The one book reader who keeps smugly bringing up that he read the books while everyone yells at him to "shut the gently caress up"
Brother Trump on the Wall promising to build it higher and bigger than before and making the Wildlings pay for it
Dorne and the Iron Born being completely cut out of the entire show
The Shame Nun and Cersei walking through the audience over their tables
A dirge for Hodor where they sang "Hold the door, Wyllis, hold the door" as a refrain
Ygritte being killed in front of Jon by Brother Trump who shouts out "NO IMMIGRANTS" before firing his crossbow
The entire cast wondering if GRRM, now making mad cash from the HBO show, will ever finish the book series before he eats himself to death and the character playing GRRM turning to the audience to give an emphatic "no".
The cast then deciding to write their own fan fiction ending to the show which involved:
- Tyrion and Jon making out.
- Arya using her Faceless Man powers to show up in every major climax of the book.
- Dany about to defeat Cersei, only for Cersei to almost defeat her with wildfire, only for Arya to reveal herself as being the wildfire all along because gently caress it Faceless Man powers.
- The series ending with all the strong women (Arya, Dany, and Cersei) singing a song, then Sansa showing up in the musical for the first time played as a man in drag shouting, "yeah, I'm a strong woman too!" and the other women responding with, "wait, weren't you just kidnapped and raped for the entire series?" and her going, "yeah, shut up, just go with it."
- GRRM finally interrupting them because he's horrified that they turned his precious baby into a fan fiction so he murders everyone before finally being killed himself by the divorcee.

It was hilarious. If you have the chance, go see it.

Sally fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Sep 1, 2016

# ? Sep 1, 2016 03:54

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

hahaha

that owns

but no book reader would be content with hodor being called willis

he's loving door walder :colbert:

# ? Sep 1, 2016 04:06

kcroy: May 30, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

quote:

Dorne and the Iron Born being completely cut out of the entire show

That poo poo is on point.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 04:49

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Blind Sally posted:

Saw a musical version of Game of Thrones at the Edinburgh Fringe Fest. Seriously, what the gently caress, which one of you assholes wrote it? It was framed as a bunch of friends trying to cheer up another friend who had recently been divorced by inviting her to watch the season premiere of HBO's A Game of Thrones Season 7. She admitted to having never watched the show so the rest of the musical was a retelling of the entire series up to that point.

Highlights included:

One guy bringing his new friend that he met on the street, "George", to the party and George slowly morphing into GRRM as the party progressed (a beard, glasses, suspenders, and stupid hat appear on him between each major musical scene)

Dany singing about her hopes and dreams while being hosed from behind by Drogo the entire time

The one book reader who keeps smugly bringing up that he read the books while everyone yells at him to "shut the gently caress up"

Brother Trump on the Wall promising to build it higher and bigger than before and making the Wildlings pay for it

Dorne and the Iron Born being completely cut out of the entire show

The Shame Nun and Cersei walking through the audience over their tables

A dirge for Hodor where they sang "Hold the door, Wyllis, hold the door" as a refrain

Ygritte being killed in front of Jon by Brother Trump who shouts out "NO IMMIGRANTS" before firing his crossbow

The entire cast wondering if GRRM, now making mad cash from the HBO show, will ever finish the book series before he eats himself to death and the character playing GRRM turning to the audience to give an emphatic "no".

The cast then deciding to write their own fan fiction ending to the show which involved:

Tyrion and Jon making out.

Arya using her Faceless Man powers to show up in every major climax of the book.

Dany about to defeat Cersei, only for Cersei to almost defeat her with wildfire, only for Arya to reveal herself as being the wildfire all along because gently caress it Faceless Man powers.

The series ending with all the strong women (Arya, Dany, and Cersei) singing a song, then Sansa showing up in the musical for the first time played as a man in drag shouting, "yeah, I'm a strong woman too!" and the other women responding with, "wait, weren't you just kidnapped and raped for the entire series?" and her going, "yeah, shut up, just go with it."

GRRM finally interrupting them because he's horrified that they turned his precious baby into a fan fiction so he murders everyone before finally being killed himself by the divorcee.

It was hilarious. If you have the chance, go see it.

No way.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:38

visceril: Feb 24, 2008

Dicky Pooper and the Cursed GRRM.

An official canon play authorized by TB Thread

# ? Sep 1, 2016 11:37

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Number Ten Cocks posted:

Can someone gif 1:47-1:49 for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CLCOvZOh1o

av sized:

# ? Sep 1, 2016 19:35

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Blind Sally posted:

Saw a musical version of Game of Thrones at the Edinburgh Fringe Fest. Seriously, what the gently caress, which one of you assholes wrote it? It was framed as a bunch of friends trying to cheer up another friend who had recently been divorced by inviting her to watch the season premiere of HBO's A Game of Thrones Season 7. She admitted to having never watched the show so the rest of the musical was a retelling of the entire series up to that point.

Highlights included:

One guy bringing his new friend that he met on the street, "George", to the party and George slowly morphing into GRRM as the party progressed (a beard, glasses, suspenders, and stupid hat appear on him between each major musical scene)

Dany singing about her hopes and dreams while being hosed from behind by Drogo the entire time

The one book reader who keeps smugly bringing up that he read the books while everyone yells at him to "shut the gently caress up"

Brother Trump on the Wall promising to build it higher and bigger than before and making the Wildlings pay for it

Dorne and the Iron Born being completely cut out of the entire show

The Shame Nun and Cersei walking through the audience over their tables

A dirge for Hodor where they sang "Hold the door, Wyllis, hold the door" as a refrain

Ygritte being killed in front of Jon by Brother Trump who shouts out "NO IMMIGRANTS" before firing his crossbow

The entire cast wondering if GRRM, now making mad cash from the HBO show, will ever finish the book series before he eats himself to death and the character playing GRRM turning to the audience to give an emphatic "no".

The cast then deciding to write their own fan fiction ending to the show which involved:

Tyrion and Jon making out.

Arya using her Faceless Man powers to show up in every major climax of the book.

Dany about to defeat Cersei, only for Cersei to almost defeat her with wildfire, only for Arya to reveal herself as being the wildfire all along because gently caress it Faceless Man powers.

The series ending with all the strong women (Arya, Dany, and Cersei) singing a song, then Sansa showing up in the musical for the first time played as a man in drag shouting, "yeah, I'm a strong woman too!" and the other women responding with, "wait, weren't you just kidnapped and raped for the entire series?" and her going, "yeah, shut up, just go with it."

GRRM finally interrupting them because he's horrified that they turned his precious baby into a fan fiction so he murders everyone before finally being killed himself by the divorcee.

It was hilarious. If you have the chance, go see it.

ahahaha

# ? Sep 1, 2016 19:38

Cavelcade: Dec 9, 2015; I'm actually a boy!

Blind Sally posted:

Saw a musical version of Game of Thrones at the Edinburgh Fringe Fest. Seriously, what the gently caress, which one of you assholes wrote it? It was framed as a bunch of friends trying to cheer up another friend who had recently been divorced by inviting her to watch the season premiere of HBO's A Game of Thrones Season 7. She admitted to having never watched the show so the rest of the musical was a retelling of the entire series up to that point.

Highlights included:

One guy bringing his new friend that he met on the street, "George", to the party and George slowly morphing into GRRM as the party progressed (a beard, glasses, suspenders, and stupid hat appear on him between each major musical scene)

Dany singing about her hopes and dreams while being hosed from behind by Drogo the entire time

The one book reader who keeps smugly bringing up that he read the books while everyone yells at him to "shut the gently caress up"

Brother Trump on the Wall promising to build it higher and bigger than before and making the Wildlings pay for it

Dorne and the Iron Born being completely cut out of the entire show

The Shame Nun and Cersei walking through the audience over their tables

A dirge for Hodor where they sang "Hold the door, Wyllis, hold the door" as a refrain

Ygritte being killed in front of Jon by Brother Trump who shouts out "NO IMMIGRANTS" before firing his crossbow

The entire cast wondering if GRRM, now making mad cash from the HBO show, will ever finish the book series before he eats himself to death and the character playing GRRM turning to the audience to give an emphatic "no".

The cast then deciding to write their own fan fiction ending to the show which involved:

Tyrion and Jon making out.

Arya using her Faceless Man powers to show up in every major climax of the book.

Dany about to defeat Cersei, only for Cersei to almost defeat her with wildfire, only for Arya to reveal herself as being the wildfire all along because gently caress it Faceless Man powers.

The series ending with all the strong women (Arya, Dany, and Cersei) singing a song, then Sansa showing up in the musical for the first time played as a man in drag shouting, "yeah, I'm a strong woman too!" and the other women responding with, "wait, weren't you just kidnapped and raped for the entire series?" and her going, "yeah, shut up, just go with it."

GRRM finally interrupting them because he's horrified that they turned his precious baby into a fan fiction so he murders everyone before finally being killed himself by the divorcee.

It was hilarious. If you have the chance, go see it.

That's amazing. I hope it makes it everywhere.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 21:12

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Blind Sally posted:

It was hilarious. If you have the chance, go see it.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude

quote:

Arya using her Faceless Man powers to show up in every major climax of the book.
Dany about to defeat Cersei, only for Cersei to almost defeat her with wildfire, only for Arya to reveal herself as being the wildfire all along because gently caress it Faceless Man powers.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

# ? Sep 1, 2016 21:17

StoneOfShame: Jul 28, 2013; This is the best kitchen ever.

Where can one acquire a copy of GoB now the bastards at amazon have taken it down?

# ? Sep 2, 2016 19:56

Woodpile: Mar 30, 2013

Book's out.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 13:05

Urdnot Fire: Feb 13, 2012

StoneOfShame posted:

Where can one acquire a copy of GoB now the bastards at amazon have taken it down?

You can always snag a copy from the good folks at Smashwords.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 14:34

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 10:34

TommyGun85: Jun 5, 2013

AtAt-de-fay posted:

Book's out.

its hilarious that he plasters his name in gigantic letters on the covers of these things simply for "editing" them when he is clearly incapable of editing his own work.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 15:54

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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