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Yeah, don't post that poo poo anymore. It's getting really loving stupid and old. I'd rather we get to at least three pages this time. Anyways, here's Kylaer's history post in my thread that got gassed: Kylaer posted:The original GRRMASOIAF thread. 26 pages, spanning November 15th 2006 to February 13th 2007. Oh how the times have changed since then. There was no hatred, no rage against the GRRM - there was genuine book discussion, and everything was exciting and new. It was eventually closed by a moderator because the thread's creator had vanished, paving the way for... Here is the gassed Bad Thread V which I created yesterday that lasted two pages and should serve as an example of what not to do on the first page. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 15:15 on Jul 3, 2011 |
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Jul 3, 2011 14:54
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) didn't like this and closed the thread instead, leaving the torch to be picked up by IRQ, in...
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Yeah, I like Brienne as a character, but goddamn if her chapters aren't some of the most boring parts of Feast. The problem is she's just going from village to village doing the exact same futile poo poo in her search for Sansa. She's better as a non-POV.
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Jul 6, 2011 02:40
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I think the mummer's dragon is actually supposed to either be Stannis, or the Great Stone Dragon that he keeps trying to summon via Melisandre.
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Jul 6, 2011 03:25
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Rednik posted:I have a hunch that the ending will involve Dany defeating the Others and taking the throne but the seeds will be planted for her to descend into madness like her father. You catch glimpses of her losing her grip on reality throughout the books. She's pretty much lost her grip with reality already. Multiple people have told her multiple times that her father was batshit insane and she doesn't believe them because she subscribes to her abusive brother's description of the Targaryens being the best royal family ever. Oh, and she's a total moron for kicking Jorah out because he's the one WHO BASICALLY GOT HER THE GIANT FUCKOFF ARMY SHE HAS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
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Jul 6, 2011 03:54
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Undead Unicorn posted:I know your joking but he is dead. He might come back as Jon DeadSnow but he won't be Jon Snow anymore. Zombie Gregor doesn't loving rape people like his namesake and Lady Stoneheart is actually competent and interesting unlike her previous self. I seriously doubt he really dies/is out of the series for good. Even if he does croak after getting stabbed, he'll probably be almost immediately resurrected and not much will change beyond "now Jon is free of the Night's Watch vows. Thanks for reading this entire loving plot of his that went nowhere."
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Jul 6, 2011 04:15
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Ixian posted:Is it more or less a given for this thread that a lot of people have read ADwD now? I know some terrible scans were posted but I imagine it's a matter of time, if it hasn't happened already, before someone does a better job of it and posts a full ePub. In this thread? Probably not unless you're either German or Austrian. Elsewhere? Yes, it sounds like a lot of people have already read it and have given all the spoilers for it. If you want to avoid them, it might be a good idea to not read this thread.
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Jul 6, 2011 15:00
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The Lannisters did have trouble-making lesser houses. Their names were the Tarbecks and the Reynes. You may have heard of them again in a little song called "The Rains of Castamere." Also, Darkstar is the single greatest character ever created.
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Jul 8, 2011 03:57
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If Tyrion is seriously a secret Targ, that is the single stupidest loving retcon I have ever heard of in my entire goddamn life.
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Jul 9, 2011 00:23
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Toplowtech posted:How is it a retcon: Yeah, I used the wrong words there. I still think it's stupid though.
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Jul 9, 2011 01:37
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A Dance with Dragons seriously loving posted:The dancers shimmered, their sleek shaved bodies covered with a fine sheen of oil. Blazing torches whirled from hand to hand to the beat of drums and the trilling of a flute. Whenever two torches crossed in the air, a naked girl leapt between them, spinning. The torchlight shone off oiled limbs and breasts and buttocks. I believe the sentence "the sight of their arousal was arousing," shows that George RR Martin as an author has decided to step into new areas of the writing world. Never in my entire life have I read such a unique passage and, from now on, I will be taking every single Dany POV more seriously. Especially given this new insight that she would willingly throw away her crown for love of a total stranger who has been described a total of 2 times in the entirety of the series A Song of Ice and Fire. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 03:54 on Jul 9, 2011 |
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Jul 9, 2011 03:50
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Good god, Gurm isn't even trying with Ramsay or any of the Boltons really. They're so hilariously over-the-top. Seriously, they live in a place called "The Dreadfort," they have a family tradition of skinning people and then wearing their skins, and they have a loving flayed man as their house sigil. Top it all off by having them murder/torture some of the main characters and there you go. Remember when he wrote villainous characters that were still somewhat sympathetic?VaultAggie posted:The one question I need answered is this; Is Bronn still kicking around or does he not show up at all? As far as I can tell from the chapter summaries I've seen, it looks like he doesn't show up at all which sucks because what he did in A Feast for Crows was the only entertaining part of it.
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Jul 9, 2011 16:04
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Ray_ posted:Gurm being Gurmy.  Oh god, Ramsay is such a loving goon.Hey looks like GURM has been taking a few hints from Twilight: GRRM seriously loving posted:
So, any bets on when Dany is going to start cutting herself?
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Jul 9, 2011 18:55
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PeterWeller posted:In the grand scheme of things, the Boltons are a minor player, and it's not the first time he's written downright terrible villains. The Boltons don't seem anymore crazy than the Bloody Mummers. And in their way, characters like these help make the more important villains more sympathetic. Sure the Lannisters are shits, but the Boltons are real shits. I don't think the Boltons are "terrible villains," as you say. They're just completely unsympathetic. I actually think they are quite interesting in the same way that Gregor Clegane was interesting but was totally unsympathetic. I just think it's funny at how many steps Gurm has taken to point out that yes, these guys are completely loving evil. (PS: Tony, get on the IRC one of these days. I have something for you. I wouldn't normally ask like this, but I've got no other way to contact you dammit)
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Jul 10, 2011 15:05
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Reverse Jesus posted:Amazon just changed the ADWD release date from July 16 to 'July 16 - July 19'. Still says July 12th for me: 
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Jul 10, 2011 18:07
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Never change, Tony. So since this is the first time that I pre-ordered a kindle book, how early can I expect the book to be delivered to my kindle? At midnight tonight? I want to get started on this trainwreck early.
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Jul 11, 2011 15:16
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SlipkPIe posted:So, wait We don't hate A Song of Ice and Fire at all. If you had waited a whole six years for a book that seems to consist of a lot of filler, you might be a little upset too. I plan on finishing this whole series to the end no matter what (if there ever is an end) I am pleased that the Jon chapters look interesting at least and have him try to accomplish something. Tyrion's seem to consist of him being a complete loving goon to all the women he meets. Dany had been an increasing disappointment and it sounds like she has regressed so far back that I am considering skipping her chapters all together.
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Jul 11, 2011 17:45
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Sexpansion posted:We just need a new bad thread so that those people can post there and the other people can post here. The spoiler-free thread has been great about serious discussion and asking actual questions as opposed to calling for the blood of the author every other post. They are also normal human beings who understand how the spoiler blocks on this forum work and will not complain if you post them unlike another certain spoiler-free thread.
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Jul 11, 2011 18:10
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Welp, got it on my kindle. http://isadancewithdragonsoutyet.com/ This actually now does need to be updated because it's definitely out. I just finished the prologue and it kind of interesting. To any aspiring authors out there, never open a book with the sentence "The night was rank with the smell of man," like ever.
Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Jul 13, 2011 |
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Jul 12, 2011 14:16
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Seriously, where the gently caress do you guys find this time to read? I'm only like 10% of the way through the book. Maybe I'm just a really slow loving reader... or maybe it's because I'm actually employed and am taking summer classes, who knows.
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Jul 13, 2011 15:47
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The worst chapters in the entire books so far for me are Tyrion's and Dany's. Dany is just whining about this mercenary shithead that no one gives a gently caress about and all of Tyrion's chapters have been one big  . Jon's are at least tolerable so I don't know what you guys are talking about.
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Jul 13, 2011 17:52
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b0lt posted:This summarizes all of Dany's chapters: Oh Gurm We don't even need the old bad thread to come back. Just post random ADWD passages and it will be at the exact same level of quality as the previous threads.
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Jul 13, 2011 22:10
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I'm not even close to being done with the book, but I can say with confidence that Jon, Bran, Theon, and Davos POV's have been the most interesting stories in the book so far. Hell, if they just had those as the entire book, I probably would say it is about as good as SoS. Unfortunately, this book is requiring me to slog through the slow-as-gently caress Dany and Tyrion chapters. It sucks that George has basically ruined Tyrion because I use to really look forward to his POV's in earlier books. Is there some magic spell that causes people who leave Westeros to suddenly become completely loving retarded? Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 14:46 on Jul 14, 2011 |
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Jul 14, 2011 14:43
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Rarity posted:So... I just finished reading ADWD. Not a chance in hell is he permanently dead especially after seeing Mel's POV. Why do people hate Jon chapters? Between the three characters that ADWD is many about, his were at least interesting unlike Tyrion and Dany who couldn't shut te gently caress up about their their terrible relationships.
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Jul 14, 2011 19:24
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I think everyone can agree, whether you liked or hated them, Theon and Davos had the absolute best POV's in the entire book. I am still disappointed in this book so far, but those chapters almost made the two year-long wait for this book with it. Oh wait! 
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Jul 14, 2011 20:40
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You know? I'm beginning to think that the only reason I said Jon's POV's were "good" in this book is because everything else that wasn't Theon/Davos was so goddamn boring and terrible that by comparison, Jon's are only slightly less terrible. Just finished the chapter where Theon jumps off the battlements with Jeyne. I have no idea how the gently caress you guys read so fast, I literally have read all of two loving chapters today, I literally just can't bring myself to read for more than two hours a goddamn day.
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Jul 14, 2011 21:37
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I know we all hate AFFC with a burning passion here, but I am really starting to miss Jaime POV's  edit: VVVVVVV I don't think he's going to die yet. Someone else mentioned that there's a pattern for when characters 'die.' For Robb, it was when he broke his oath, for Jon it's when he broke his oath, for Cat it was when she set Jaime free, for Theon it was when he betrayed the Starks. I don't think he'll survive to the end of the series though. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Jul 15, 2011 |
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Jul 15, 2011 00:59
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Just finished a few hours ago. First of all: Not worth six loving years. Jon's POV's ranged from mediocre to somewhat interesting until the very end where it ALMOST reached the quality that they had in ASoS. Spoilers: He isn't dead. Dany's were terrible, but hers have been terrible since Drogo died anyways. Tyrion can be summed up like this: "WAAAAAAH I HATE CERSEI WAAAAH I HATE JAIME WAAAH TYWIN LIED ABOUT TYSHA WAAAAH WOMEN ARE VAPID CUNTS." I guess the policy is once someone isn't in Westeros, they become the worst loving characters ever. Davos- Some really good poo poo. Still not worth six loving years though. Theon- Best stuff he's written in the series in a long loving time. It was also funny to see Theon get tortured because he is a total loving rear end in a top hat in the other books anyways. Other random poo poo- Ranged from mildly interesting (Mel and Jaime) to boring (Arya). So anyways, I hope everyone enjoys reading Wild Cards for the next edit: I still have no idea how the gently caress some of you people read this book so fast. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 22:49 on Jul 15, 2011 |
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Jul 15, 2011 22:42
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If I were to rank the POV's, they would go like this: Theon > Davos > Bran > Jon > Everything else > Tyrion > Dany. So yeah, those are my final evaluations for the book. edit: VVVVVV I agree, I think Dinklage brought a lot to the character and if he is able to do the same thing he did in the show, I believe he will be manageable in the HBO adaptation of A Dance with Dragons. Hell, that show made me actually love jolly old Sam. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 06:10 on Jul 16, 2011 |
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Jul 16, 2011 05:41
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EC posted:Edit: people really believe Jon's dead? There have been a LOT of chapters that end with the death of the POV character, only to have the character awaken, wounded, in a totally different environment. Theon comes to mind off the top of my head, as does Catelyn. I fully expect to see Jon in the next books. I don't think anyone here thinks Jon is actually dead (or at least not permanently). They're just referring to the only important character to actually "die" in this series in a long time. Also, I agree that the Night's Watch was loving retarded for not letting Wildlings who would WILLINGLY fight for them help man the walls. God, what a bunch of loving morons. I think it was GURM's way of doing commentary on illegal immigration or something or who knows what the gently caress.
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Jul 17, 2011 16:16
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threeagainstfour posted:I know most of you guys are done, but work has slowed my reading pace significantly. Welcome to the last 40 pages or so of this thread.
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Jul 22, 2011 04:23
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Cpt_Obvious posted:...ugg. Sit down, this is going to be tough... edit: VVVVV Well, hopefully Dorcas' name kept her from getting grabbed by her groats. After all, words are wind. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 06:09 on Jul 22, 2011 |
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Jul 22, 2011 05:54
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Ray_ posted:Game of Thrones has been dropped in all 5 books, and A Song of Ice and Fire in at least 1 of them. Are Robb and Edmure supposed to be 15-year olds playing Call of Duty or something? edit: VVVVVV 
Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 15:39 on Jul 22, 2011 |
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Jul 22, 2011 15:11
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EC posted:My wife was thinking that this might mean Joffrey was molesting poor Tommy boy at some point or the other. I said it could easily be that or that Joffrey was as evil to Tommen growing up as he was to everyone else. Probably the latter... maybe the former. At the beginning of ACoK, Joff was shown as being a huge dick to Tommen when he was trying to practice jousting.
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Jul 22, 2011 16:09
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VaultAggie posted:I'd like to see Selmy fight Ser Gregor. Then we'll see who the best living knight is. I want zombie Gregor with Lady's/Ned's head sewn onto his body to fight DarkStar, dammit! I mean, he is the most dangerous man in Dorne. (To twelve-year olds' ears).
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Jul 23, 2011 00:05
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Levitate posted:So is this book worth reading or what It is one of the weaker books of the series but it is still better than 99% of all fantasy books. Of course that is like saying it is one of the duller golden shits in a certain pile of golden shits but it is still more golden than 99% of all shits in the world.
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Jul 29, 2011 17:37
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Levitate posted:Are you making GBS threads me it took him 6 years to write another AFfC what the gently caress In most people's opinions, this book was better than AFFC and some people claim it is arguably better than ACOK. You will just have to read it for yourself and draw your own conclusions. Edit: In my honest opinion the Dany and goony Tyrion chapters made this book a loving chore to read. Everything that doesn't involve those two is actually pretty good and almost nears the quality of SoS. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Jul 29, 2011 |
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Jul 29, 2011 21:23
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VaultAggie posted:The Theon chapters alone redeem this book. Reading every one of those chapters was well worth skimming or skipping Dany and Tyrion's chapters. True enough, I just don't think we got enough Theon and other chapters. The majority of the book was Jon, Dany, and Tyrion. To be fair, I think the Tyrion chapters were starting to pick up again by the end when he was scheming with the sellswords and at least Dany is starting to actually suffer consequences for her actions so those are positive aspects of the book at least.
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Jul 29, 2011 23:45
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Reset Smith posted:Who the Hell is Bloodraven? I've read all 5 books and don't remember this Bloodraven mentioned in every other post. Is this some Bad Thread in-joke I missed? Yes, we somehow managed to convince George to insert our fanfic character into the series.
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Aug 3, 2011 03:48
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Mahlertov Cocktail posted:Contra Calculus informs me that this thread isn't a huge pile of poo poo anymore, so hi everyone! The two storylines I was referring to were Dany's and Tyrion's both of which I have spent too much time in this thread complaining about, but basically I got tired of Tyrion's attitude and I got tired of Dany and Daario subplot and some of the really stupid decisions she was making. And you can probably read the last 63 pages or so of this thread if you want to see why. Everyone basically said everything about them for me. Jon's chapters were somewhat boring at points, but what helped is that he wasn't making infuriatingly dumb decisions as a leader like Dany was doing. And yeah, the general consensus is that it's most likely that Jon isn't dead or at least it's more than likely Melissandre will revive him. He all but outright confirmed that Jon is in fact Azor Ahai reborn with that Melissandre POV. Anyways, the POV that I was referring to that I felt was the best writing GRRM has done in years was the Theon/Reek POV's. Honestly, that stuff boosted this book above AFFC for me in my rankings of the books. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Aug 3, 2011 |
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Aug 3, 2011 06:28
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We still haven't seen any grumpkins or snarks which I'm sure actually exist at this point. I just want to know what the hell they even are!
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Aug 3, 2011 14:41
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