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Simon Draskovic posted:Why would you do such a thing At about year 3 of waiting, I like to do a little re-read!
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Dec 21, 2011 05:57
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zocio posted:Serious question: Is the black fish gay?, why won't he marry?, is his sigil some sort of ancient dildo? You know, what a fish would look like after having beening used as such.  fish = pussy black = rear end in a top hat so yes. kcroy fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Dec 26, 2011 |
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Dec 26, 2011 03:32
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savinhill posted:That's the creepiest sex toy I've seen since reading that Alan Moore Neonomicon comic. Ha I just read that. This would have fit right in on that shelf i think!
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Dec 27, 2011 23:16
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They stack Fantasy books right next to the Romance ones, and I think this should serve as an instant cap on any gender-writing expectations. Also both ailes have much raep. My idea of a "well written female character" is one that pretty much conforms to my white-male-college-educated expectations of what a female "should" be like. Sure you can challenge me a bit, but I mean - if you delve too accurately into the ole female perspective, I'm not sure I can keep up. Or if I want to. I'm not looking to read the Ya Ya Sisterhood, ok? I'm looking for women who swoon, men who kick rear end, and sweep said women off their feet. Some like the Darkstar, and some like El Gregor. OK maybe some women that kick rear end too.. but not QUITE as much rear end kicking as the men. Unless they are really hot. I mean this poo poo is fantasy writing. I'm not looking to turn my view of gender roles upside down. I'm looking for loving dragons and magic spells and hot myrish lesbian sex scenes. Don't get me wrong - I could read all day about Pern's Menolly (female character/female writer), and those talentless cunts at Harper Hall that mock her back-woods ways. She's got firelizards, and a big crush on Master Robinton and I am loving DOWN to find out more. But I'm also know that I'm in the fantasy/romance section, so I'm not looking too deep, you know? Edit: so like what are some "good" female characters in sci-fi / fantasy. Any (the one) women in this thread want to chime in? Some off the top of my head that I've liked: -Jessica from Dune -Lessa or Menolly from Pern -"Jones" from C. J. Cherryh's Merovingen Nights -How about CS Friedman? I kind of can't stand her heroine from the Feast of Souls books. I really liked her adept from the Coldfire books though. -Elizabeth from Julian May's Pliocene Exile kcroy fucked around with this message at 09:49 on Dec 28, 2011 |
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Dec 28, 2011 09:18
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Contra Calculus posted:Oh, come on! Don't have that attitude. Just think of those TENS of people that worked on Zyborne Clock. That panned out well, remember? I'm down. I'll shitdick some ideas tomorrow.
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Dec 29, 2011 08:16
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Contra Calculus posted:All right let's get this poo poo on the road. Jon Sn0 ponders the Wall, wondering what ancient spells keep the 0therz out.  ARgh-YA! , WhiteWalkar , Jon Sn0 , and BerryDanaery 
kcroy fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Dec 30, 2011 |
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Dec 30, 2011 00:29
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Joramun posted:Spoiler alert: Ygrith dies. ha
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Dec 30, 2011 00:38
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Intel&Sebastian posted:That's what makes him great and perfect for the job. He doesn't even want it but he's just that stubborn and dedicated to the rules. It has gotten past that point I think.. he has a ridiculous amount of pride, and is bitter about getting passed over/disliked. Dude has issues. There is one line that really seemed out of character - he bitches Jon Snow out about his "Honor" at one point, and its like WTF... He is a doomed character - just a question of how he goes. He and Ramsey seem to be opposites, with a similar pride issue. Both have been passed over - both are laughed at/ridiculed - both are extreme personalities. Stannis has his Righteousness and Ramsay has his Unregulated Desires.
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Dec 30, 2011 00:58
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Niccy Bones posted:There's honor and then there's duty. Remember, Stannis was entirely willing to sacrifice Robert's bastard for his own ends (Ie an innocent child, something that Ned Stark would never do, and he seems to be pretty much the representation of honor in ASOIAF). Honor has it's uses but when it's getting in the way, as it did with Jon Snow not accepting his offer due to his honor and not Stannis's honor, then it's an inconvenience. hrm yeah - I hadn't thought of that distinction.
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Dec 30, 2011 04:32
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General Battuta posted:You are actually the only person I have ever met who likes the last couple Frank Dune books, and I've been at writing workshops and SF/F conferences pretty regularly for the past five years. I'm not saying they don't exist but they're a rare sort of bird. chapterhouse representin' I liked the sense of scale, and Teg is dreamy.
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Jan 4, 2012 07:03
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Whats up c-bags. Has he started writ... hahaha oh.. ha.
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Mar 29, 2012 06:48
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I was looking through the credits, and since GRRMZ wrote the Blackwater episode, I dare say he must have hit some sort of deadline. That is some epic poo poo right there. And where the gently caress is sir pounce? http://www.livejournal.com/poll/?id=1819921
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May 8, 2012 07:16
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I'm sure this got posted, but I saw it was just TOO EXCITED HAD TO PAWSTwildcardsbitches posted:
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May 31, 2012 06:08
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Ambiguatron posted:The High Septon dude is the most populist thing we've seen so far, really. I'm not expecting the Englightenment to suddenly emerge in Westeros, that would be silly. How is he populist? he seems like just another Player - running an inquisition while leveraging his people to the greatest advantage. Maybe his talk is populist, but I don't buy that at all...
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Jun 14, 2012 08:44
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Ambiguatron posted:Drogon is the physical manifestation of the world being sick of Dany's poo poo. The dragons are symbolic of her Targaryen dreams - As the possibility of actually invading Westeros grows larger, so too do the dragons, and everything they represent: power, war, mayhem, the murder of innocents. Dany turns inward - locking up the dragons, rejecting Frog, exploring her sexual side, contemplating marriage... The arena is an interesting scene - She decries the pain and suffering - blaming the mereenese for their bloody ways... but the final exhibit is her own Drogon... the most barbaric of them all. When put to the test, so she seizes her Dragon/Dreams and flies away to protect it from the Mereneese. In the wilderness, she goes through a purification ritual... (making GBS threads everywhere).. and at the end of that we find she is in fact fertile again. Only now, with this purity of vision, body and willpower, can she control Drogon and again move to reclaim her empire. If GRRM lives long enough to write the next book, I have no doubt that we will see Dany burn Mereen to the bloody loving cobbles and Sail west. As an aside, normally the dragon/young girl set up would have the dragons acting as symbols of her base emotions (sex in particular). However in this case, GRRM has flipped that poo poo - we see Dany has no problem indulging her needs for rear end to mouth play, even though the dragons are caged. Ambiguatron posted:Bran shat down Hodor's back? I don't remember that scene, and I find it difficult to believe it exists because you aren't all going apeshit over it. Thought that was from a SAfic... with um hodors back hair dreaded into poo poo-locks kcroy fucked around with this message at 07:50 on Jun 16, 2012 |
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Jun 16, 2012 07:48
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rejutka posted:Blackwater is burning. It's cool, I live by the river.
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Jun 18, 2012 07:04
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Contra Calculus posted:There wasn't any hatred at all! The guy was just all "yeah so here's this really dumb and simple website that is old. But take a look at this guy's loving blog! What a character, am I right?" its worse than that... ball licker posted:
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Jun 18, 2012 07:06
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Twilight was Mormon and virginal. This is awesome beyond awesome. I love loving america. Number one country america! Ichiban bitches! And you if you think Phoenix is bad, you have missed out on some other wonderful places Arizona has to offer! Yuma is like phoenix, but without the "culture"! Oh and Tuba City, home to among other things Uranium disposal structures!  If you love looking at these crazy disposal cells as much as I do, you might want to check out the Center for Land Use Interpretation building in LA! (http://clui.org/ludb) Lolitas Alright! posted:Oh, it's more than just fisting. uhm but just think, she could hyphenate her last name after the marriage to "Steele-Grey"! And they could name their first born something like... Dusty or uh.. Kirin! Just the thought makes me want to buy some bon-bons and get reading! edit: whowhatwhere posted:Don't spoil it for me, but I hope they both had lawyers present for this most erotic of contracts Havent read this , but you can download a much better version of a BDSM checklist here: http://www.cepemo.com/checklist.html If you ask nicely, I'll upload my excel spreadsheet version! edit: bigmcgaffney posted:Haha I forgot I wrote WoT/GoT crossover erotica. I think I've done Malazan, Dan Brown, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and of course my childgoon memories. 
kcroy fucked around with this message at 08:13 on Jun 26, 2012 |
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Jun 26, 2012 08:05
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Waffle Ho posted:
South Phoenix = Mexico, or well.. Texas.
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Jun 27, 2012 12:31
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p.crestmont posted:First thing that came to mind when thinking of weirwood sex fanfic. made me think of this: 
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Jun 27, 2012 23:23
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whowhatwhere posted:Oglaf, the finest R+ comic on the internet. Half fantasy-parody, half sex gags. I won't spam the board with oglaf stuff - but here are a few of my favorites... http://oglaf.com/fountain-of-doubt/ http://oglaf.com/fountain-of-death/ http://oglaf.com/labyrinth/ he likes the gay sex! http://oglaf.com/sport/ its like a comic so uh.. start at the beginning!
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Jun 28, 2012 03:15
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:The Children of the Forest did 9/11. Open your eyes Sheeple. There ARE no dragons. The Lannisters just want you to blame the Targaryen's because they have heard rumors from across the Sea! It's an excuse to militarize and attack their loyal subjects in the north, all in the guise of "defending" the Weirwood. If there were dragons, where are the fields of fire? Don't you think its a bit suspicious that the ONLY things that were burned were those 2 trees? I mean, fire didn't even HIT that third weirwood... They said that burning debris knocked it over... but if you look closely, it has AXE Marks on it! I think we ALL know that the weirdwood know secrets... and were participating in an ongoing investigation into the parentage of Jon Snow... something the privy council doesn't want the rest of Westeros to know. Jon Snow is actually a Targaryen and the weirwoods had the proof. With Ned gone - who else would know the truth? Howland Reed & the Weirwoods. Howland is in hiding for his life, and the weirwoods have been burned and destroyed north of the wall. Don't even get me started on the Iron Bank! Joffrey may have shot the bolt that killed that poor beggar.. but it is Bravos who winds the crossbow!
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Jun 28, 2012 06:41
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Contra Calculus posted:Ask me ASOIAF physics questions and I will answer them for twenty cents. An extra ten cents if you want diagrams. -Gregor has extra long arms and also uses a broadsword one handed - how much additional force does this provide his strikes? -Knowing that it took 3 dragons to melt the walls of Harranhal, and assuming that a single dragon can only breathe fire 10 times a day, how much energy is in an average Dragon Breath Attack? (assume Harranhal was made from Granite) -The Wall is 700 feet high, yet wildlings at the base are able to deliver arrows to the top with killing force. Assuming an arrow weighs 500 grains, how much force would be required to launch an arrow from the bottom of the wall to the top? Bonus question: How many wildlings would it take to pull the bow?
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Jun 28, 2012 06:59
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bigmcgaffney posted:If you poo poo off the wall does it freeze on the way down, and if so, would the crystalline shitspray be able to kill a man, like pierce his heart? SAM Sam always knew his calling was a scholarly one – but never did he think the information in a dusty old book could matter so much… to the him, to his Brothers, to all of Westeros. “Dragon Glass”, he muttered to himself. How stupid we all were. A dragon cried out in the distance… startled he hunched down further and scurried even faster to the wall. He must tell the Lord Commander at once. JON John Snow – reborn thanks to the Red God – felt like he was in hell. Since the fire had been breathed into his throat it had scored and burned him. Not in his lungs, but in his Belly. His intestines writhed like the many pronged Weirwood cocks he had seen in his dreams. His anus hurt more than the time he and Robb played “hide the pinecone”. His bowels released for the 20th time since he had woken up this morning. He knew not what magic kept them full, for he had not eaten since his brothers had fed him cold hard steel in the yard below. Yet still it came, brown clumped waves of nightsoil, containing strange nuts and kernals he had surely never seen before, much less eaten. His boots and breeches were stained and splattered, and even Ghost would not come near him for the stench. Yes, surely this is hell, he thought as another cramp wracked his body – a river of filth belching forth from his beaten and torn nether hole. DAENYRS Only when flying had she been this high above the ground. She had heard stories of the wall, but could not believe that she stood upon it. Below her she watched her dragons dive and strike… burning the Others and their pale Wights. Across from her she watched the strange Lord Commander, flopping about uncontrollably in his growing pile of waste. He was not what she expected. She had been surprised to hear they were related – but even more surprised to find they shared the same affliction. Even as she formed the thought, her bowels released yet again, showering her bearers with slimy brown berries. “Daenerys poo poo-Berries” they called her in Lannis Port. Indeed she’d poo poo fire and brimstone from above, her precious children turning Casterly Rock into slag. Her bearers were taken from the many slaves they had captured, and should be honored by her bowel’s blessing. Now if only she could find a way to manage the growing horde that formed on the other side of this forsaken wall. (oval office...) kcroy fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Jun 29, 2012 |
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Jun 29, 2012 02:38
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SAM By the time he reached the top of the wall, his hands were frozen near solid around the book. Gilly’s breast milk had frozen on his chin and even the dried semen stains on his pants seemed harder and colder than before. He looked the length of the wall, and could tell everything was coming together as foretold “JON! PRINCESS! I HAVE IT!” he shouted, as he brandished the book above his head. He was barely heard over the din from the battle below. He ran as fast as his fat jelly filled legs would carry him. Jon had pulled himself out of the shitpile and now stood next to Daenyr’s litter – which was slowing moving out of its own pile of filth. The scent was horrible beyond anything he had experienced. Even when he had earned his golden submission ring from the Maestyrs in the OldTown sewers. “We always thought it was ‘Dragon Glass’ he piped… but here, in the original.. it translates more to ‘Dragon’s rear end’!” “Don’t you see – you are both of Targaryen Blood! You both have the Bowels of Fire the prophesy talks about! And we have the Horn!” “Sam – to use the horn would bring down the very wall we depend upon!”, Jon muttered in between the animal like growls his nether hole was making. “Trust me he shouted… you must listen! Point your bowels North – towards the enemy! They both looked at him, but the idea of not sitting in their own poo poo suddenly seemed very appealing. As they turned their battered poo poo-holes over the wall, the very air shimmered, and even the Dragons seemed to sense something was about to happen. BRAN Like a million points of light – he felt it deep in his shriveled penis as the thick weirdwood phalluses stabbed into the Ice Spider, tearing it apart. He has been at it for hours – each root but 1 cock among the millions he controlled – breaking free of the ground and wreaking havoc amongst the Others. Each Wight he stabbed, the roots would spray white pearly sap into their animated corpses, their mouths and insides filling up with to the brim. This far north, the glue like sap would freeze almost instantly and they would be immobilized, trapped forever. Not destroyed perhaps, but in no position to continue their assault against the wall. And later when the time came, he would plant seeds in them all.. a new forest of weirwoods spring up in his future-vision. Suddenly he stopped, his weircock hanging poised above an undead mammoth. Something was happening at the Wall. He quickly shifted his consciousness back to the ravens he had left as spies… kcroy fucked around with this message at 02:43 on Jun 29, 2012 |
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Jun 29, 2012 02:38
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SANSA Sansa conversed quietly with the Other to her right. They both rode glorious Ice Spiders – and her Banners – a Cake on a Lemon colored field – stretched as far as she could see. Ahead of her she could see that 2 of the dragons were dead already. They were no match for Other sorcery… sorcery as old as any in this world. Her Wights scaled the giant wall, gloriously pristine at the base, but now covered with a foul brown substance. Perhaps they poured oil down to make it harder to climb? But she could not imagine that much oil even existing in one place. The wind shifted, and suddenly the stench reached her nose. The Other’s babblings made little sense – they spoke of a horrid magic that could unbind them “Dragon rear end” or “Dragon Glass” or something. But soon the last dragon would fall, and there would be no more threat. She called her Eunuch Littlefinger over. “Bring me some nourishment” she commanded and he rushed off to do her bidding. But she would never again taste her beloved lemoncakes. A deep ringing sound shook the ground beneath them. A sound so loud her host covered their undead ears in pain. A sound so piercing, she felt it in her poisened empty womb. A sound so terrifying it could only be the Horn of Joramum. “Those Fool!” she cried… they have sealed their own fate! She could see the wall shiver and shake – flexing like the angry Weirwood Cocks she had seen in her dreams. And then the outer coat of the wall burst outward – a billion fragments of dark glistening death thrown up and out. She tasted filth at the back of her throat. “A poo poo Shard” she thought, as the spirit left her body kcroy fucked around with this message at 02:45 on Jun 29, 2012 |
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Jun 29, 2012 02:39
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Zombie Cat Catelyn Stark looked out of the edge of her one remaining eye, and wished she could still cry. Her precious Sansa lie on to the ground – A massive shard of frozen poo poo longer than a spear transfixed her precious smile. Around her the others were dissolving – the magic of the Dragons rear end unbinding the very essence of their being. In front of her the Wights were slowing waking up from their undead slumber . Those who had limbs to move hobbled forward only to be ridden down by the knights of Westeros. Those who lacked limbs to move slowly died again, their black blood seeping down into the poo poo brown snow. Cat wondered at her own fate. She had not been able to move for some time. The Weirwood roots had burst forth from the hard snow beneath their feet and swatted her Wights to piles of bloody debris. One of the roots had pinned her down, while another slid deep into her cold netherholes. The sap had poured out of her rear end, mouth, and neck slit – warm hot and salty… only to freeze moments later as if by magic. The roots had frozen right before the explosion, but now slowly were coming back to life. She watched helplessly as the roots writhed in front of her, like the Weirwood Cocks she had seen in her dreams. She tried again to cry – thinking of all her lost children, all killed for that bastard John Snow. He had taken everything from her. As the root penetrated her eye socket, and flooded what was left of her brain with its white sap, she thought she heard Bran, her darling Bran talking to her, whispering that it would be ok, that they would be together … forever.
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Jun 29, 2012 02:40
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Ambiguatron posted:The primary way a knight did damage was by being a ton or so of horse, man, and steel going fast enough to slam into things, preferably concentrating that energy on the point of a spear. Ive heard that - and I can see in a 1 on 1 that being effective, but wouldn't charging down a group of armed men risk hurting your mount? You'd think they would twist their ankles at least riding over piles of dying men.
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Jun 29, 2012 07:51
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bigmcgaffney posted:Im terry goodkind i lul'd
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Jun 30, 2012 09:31
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bigmcgaffney posted:Page 420 I'm kinda proud I banged that out in like 15 minutes. It is clearly missing arya warg sex, but I got stuck on weirwood cocks. The Mutato posted:How this thread is both so informative and lovely is mind boggling. It's actually a lot like rehab. You've got some interesting people, all with same horrible addiction, stuck in a loving room. Most of the time its just stories about how much you miss drugs (GRRM) or how lovely drugs are (GRRM). But every now and then the MIT professor or the gay monk will lay some real knowledge on you.
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Jun 30, 2012 09:53
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmZvOhHF85I sh sh ittin' in tha grass kcroy fucked around with this message at 00:10 on Jul 1, 2012 |
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Jul 1, 2012 00:00
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In It For The Tank posted:It would be cool for Archmaester Samwell to whip out his "stagnant" or "golden-age"!
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Jul 1, 2012 11:24
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Dazerbeams posted:if there's a duel I could write that Sword fight in Sensa's mouth? Dazerbeams posted:Everywhere I go on SA, I am reminded of GRRM and the Bad Thread. When I come in here, I find 50 Shades of Grey. You are the absolute fuckers. Someone write a 50 Shits of Westeros crossover. That's what we need. I kinda like "50 Shades of Grey Worm", all eunuch sex, all the time. A GLISTENING HODOR posted:I knew a girl that lost her left hand and I didn't realize it for 2 months. One time while we were taking acid, I was loving with the other people hanging out. We stopped by this guy James' house, who was friend of a friend. Someone asked why this guy James never wore shorts... I'm from the desert, so.. everyone wears shorts. it was odd. I thought I was being funny saying, saying "yeah.. you know James he doesn't HAVE legs.. never seen him in shorts have you - see how his jeans are always pressed super tight? its like you can see his robot knees!" Didn't find out until the next day that he really didn't have legs below his knees. Never spoke to him again /shame kcroy fucked around with this message at 07:54 on Jul 9, 2012 |
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Jul 9, 2012 07:43
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Azure_Horizon posted:between Sendor and Veremer Ballsackskins. The Pound and his savage older brother Pegger... a fight that had been brewing for years, was going to take place. As he dropped his trousers she understood why they called him "Pegger" .. his 'sword' was longer and thicker than anyman's she knew of. When it came to close combat... preferably in her mouth... Sendor wouldn't have much room to manouever... They started off Jousting... The Pound from behind.. like the dogs he so admired. He had already shown her last night while the ladies called him "The Pound". And Pegger from the front, prying her questing lips apart till they were taut and strained, like the pig intestines that stretch around a summersausage. She might not know who would win between these two hulking brothers... but she knew who be crowned the Queen of Love and Beauty. kcroy fucked around with this message at 08:23 on Jul 9, 2012 |
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Jul 9, 2012 08:03
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:But does Vicki fingerbang the dusky woman with his magic hand? This is important for my.. work to proceed. I can't believe you would think otherwise. Can you imaging grrm passing that up?
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Jul 9, 2012 08:08
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I'd love to contribute, but I really can't write anything outside of poo poo-dick fiction. Maybe I can write a fan fic of YOUR fan fic that changes the names slightly and has more rape and Yiffing I mean warging? Actually, maybe my Prance of Ponies cover art is an appropriate repost herez. 
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Jul 10, 2012 10:48
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Ambiguatron posted:I sent an email. hes of the night, yo
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Jul 12, 2012 10:34
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run DNC posted:because her destroyed vagina from the repeated rapes and being torn open by deformed baby is the only one in the world that can take his entire massive dong. You are going to think I'm joking but in the book: The Godfather, this is discussed, and we have to listen to some chick whine because Sonny was the only man who she ever climaxed with, due to her "loose vagina". Sonny's wife was in fact glad of his affairs, because she could not handle his massive penis.
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Jul 16, 2012 06:41
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Looks like your writing has inspired him! We may actually get to see another book. http://grrm.livejournal.com/286255.html
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Aug 13, 2012 04:42
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OldPueblo posted:If you leave this thread your name gets used in the book. Nobody leaves this thread untainted. The taint!
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Aug 13, 2012 11:08
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