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steve343
Oct 20, 2006


The thumb is being over thought in my opinion especially when there is a bird that talks but if its bothering that many people can I suggest a salute? But even that has problems with portraying the movement but it could work with a strong enough pose.

But please I can I say that i'm far more interested in this story progressing before little niggles are revised!

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Above Our Own
Jun 24, 2009
semi-professional sassy new forums member greeter



The salute would also work with the military theme and kind of reinforce that young Jaybird is working towards becoming like his courageous, militaristic ancestors.

But yeah, definitely overthinking the thumb thing here.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006



I would like to see what the spider salute would look like.

INTJ Mastermind
Dec 30, 2004

It's a radial!

Well technically young "Jaybird" is actually drawn as a female sparrow. So welp...

tifosibella
Aug 17, 2005

captian r u gay


Looks like a Eurasian jay to me...

The Worst Unicorn
Nov 3, 2009

~*I Sparkle You Sparkle*~


tifosibella posted:

Looks like a Eurasian jay to me...



It is. I think it's best if we consider these pages as they are, instead of what we would have done.

ne. I don't say that lightly, it's just the OP's got great construction and this piece will likely continue to be fine as is. No point to get bogged down with the little details.

The Worst Unicorn fucked around with this message at Aug 15, 2011 around 03:27

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

... all the pronouns


steve343 posted:

The thumb is being over thought in my opinion especially when there is a bird that talks
External consistency =/= internal consistency. The story can be as fantastical as it wants, so long as it makes sense in the frame of reference it creates. The reason people are a bit niggly is because the spider hasn't displayed anthromorphisms before in the story so it's strange for him to do it now.

I don't think it's a huge deal but "there's a talking bird so what are you complaining about" is a bad argument.

INTJ Mastermind
Dec 30, 2004

It's a radial!

tifosibella posted:

Looks like a Eurasian jay to me...

Welp, consider me schooled!

The Supreme Court
Feb 25, 2010

I'm a shapeshifter


Wow, this comic is incredible. Beautiful artwork!

Fangz
Jul 5, 2007
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHnMDGIbFkc

You need to get a kickstarter started pronto. I would pay you money.

Edit: how do you do your perspective shots? They are really impressive.

Fangz fucked around with this message at Aug 16, 2011 around 12:17

Cacophonous Brown
Sep 26, 2008

Ma Meeshka Mow Skwoz


OP, I am pro spider thumb. It was silly and it made me smile. I like little things like that in their to break up the tension, which you've created masterfully by the way. Whatever you decide will be great though, this whole thing is amazing and I would definitely buy this were it published.

Crisco Kid
Jan 14, 2008

Where does the wind come from that blows upon your face, that fans the pages of your book?


Yes, the perspective and sense of space here is just wonderful -- the backgrounds are inspiring. I'm also amazed by how quickly you're producing this. When you posted about being done in six hours, were you referring to just one page or all of them in that post? Because either way, oh man. It's both admirable and makes me want to saw off my hand.

If you have the time and it isn't too much trouble, could you post a few process shots? Keep up the good work!

klaivu
Aug 29, 2006

"... Mother?"

^^ All of them. Usually I procrastinate, surf the web a bit, go make coffee etc. But this time I was able to just paint for the six full hours. I had the 3d boxes rendered beforehand though.

Crisco Kid posted:

If you have the time and it isn't too much trouble, could you post a few process shots? Keep up the good work!



This is a full page panel. The walls, bed and floor are 3d. (That is how the perspective is done. By cheating. ) I paint the general shapes on top of the render (pic 1) with a big brush. Then draw some preliminary outlines on top of that, polishing the shapes as I go (pic 2). Then I switch to a smaller brush to add detail (pic 3). The last round is with the smallest brush. Generally, I go from big shapes to smaller shapes, working on the whole picture at a time.

3d is a huge timesaver. It's just so much quicker to just get to town with the tones and details straight off the bat. I usually frown upon using it like this, it's no learning tool since it becomes a crutch all too easily. But for finishing this drat thing in a reasonable timeframe it's a real boon.

klaivu fucked around with this message at Aug 17, 2011 around 17:46

elentar
Aug 26, 2002

Congratulations! Your bonsai is dead!

haha, holy poo poo, Scott McCloud just linked (or at least retweeted a link to) this thread, awesome.

ford
Jul 7, 2003



Yeah I was amazed to get linked back to the forums by Scott McCloud. Great job with the comic! I'm hooked.

pipes!
Jul 10, 2001


elentar posted:

haha, holy poo poo, Scott McCloud just linked (or at least retweeted a link to) this thread, awesome.

Awesome. Don't think for a second that this thread isn't going to GBS once the comic is finished.

bassguitarhero
Feb 29, 2008

Peace


klaivu posted:

3d is a huge timesaver. It's just so much quicker to just get to town with the tones and details straight off the bat. I usually frown upon using it like this, it's no learning tool since it becomes a crutch all too easily. But for finishing this drat thing in a reasonable timeframe it's a real boon.

This is great and I wouldn't think of it as a crutch at all, one of the biggest things to making a project as massive as this is having the feeling like you're making progress, and this seems to be a key for it. I think it gives it a unique style, and the fact you're painting over it still means you're doing the lion's share of the work.

Kismet
Jun 11, 2007



klaivu posted:



Tiny niggle that caught me out - the mop head in the first panel is drawn and coloured in a way which makes it look very like the mother's hand/wing. Since it follows a panel of her yawning and covering her mouth, and because her speech bubble cuts it off from the rest of the mop, it's quite easy to confuse at first glance.

This is really phenomenal, though. I love the art, and I have nothing but admiration for your attitude and work ethic.

klaivu
Aug 29, 2006

"... Mother?"

elentar posted:

haha, holy poo poo, Scott McCloud just linked (or at least retweeted a link to) this thread, awesome.

Wow. That made me me feel a little giddy. I have all of his books on comics and they've been a tremendous help on this project.

The mop could be a little lighter I guess. I intend to redo some pages and polish others once I've drawn them all. I will tweak things like this at that point.

klaivu fucked around with this message at Aug 19, 2011 around 12:00

Carbohydrates
Nov 22, 2006

Listen, Mr. Kansas Law Dog.
Law don't go around here.
Savvy?


Minor little thing I didn't see mentioned: the broom is missing from the last panel of this page.



It goes without saying at this point, but this is all just fantastic.

Quantify!
Apr 2, 2009

by Fistgrrl


klaivu posted:

I intend to redo some pages and polish others once I've drawn them all. I will tweak things like this at that point.
Just keep in mind that people are only criticizing the little things because the work is such high quality that that's really all there IS to criticize.

klaivu
Aug 29, 2006

"... Mother?"























Carbohydrates, damnit, I keep misplacing that drat thing.

A little less than a third to go!

klaivu fucked around with this message at Aug 24, 2011 around 21:45

tifosibella
Aug 17, 2005

captian r u gay


Those last four panels...


It's been said before but you are just far too good at hooking your audience.

redcheval
Dec 26, 2009

That's a little better.


drat. I can't tell if he did that intentionally or not, but if not (which seems pretty likely), wouldn't he have remembered to check up on her at some point?

klaivu
Aug 29, 2006

"... Mother?"

It is very likely that some later pages will answer your question.

Edit: On second thought, maybe not. I changed it some and think it functions better now.

The purpose of that last spread is to communicate that some time passes, and the slowly accreting dust and cobwebs were just overkill. I've been told there's an inconsistency there, but I guess it took one more person to get me to kill this particular darling. The panels might lose a little punch here, but that might just add power to what is yet to come ...

klaivu fucked around with this message at Aug 24, 2011 around 22:00

Watchlar
Jun 25, 2009

this will never end 'cause I want more


This is turning into the saddest comic. I hope you get a publishing deal soon so I can give you money!

plaindot
Dec 26, 2005
awesome

My connection sucks and I cant see the last 2 pages of the thread, so I'm not sure if you have any publisher in mind- but maybe consider Fantagraphics. http://www.fantagraphics.com/ Seems like right up your alley. Sorry if it's already mentioned.

This is so loving amazing by the way. Holy poo poo.

Sophia
Apr 16, 2003

The heart wants what the heart wants.


Boy, that was a real downer (not a complaint). I saw the panels pre- and post-edit and I like the new ones a lot better. I too thought that the bird subconciously was trying to kill his mother since he hadn't gone in to check on her in what seemed like a few days at least. I'm still not sure I totally buy the idea that he would just completely forget accidentally about her for a whole day since he knew he'd cut the bell, but it's at least a little less amiguous.

Transmogrifier
Dec 10, 2004

Keep in mind, transmogrification is a new technology.

Need more!

This is absolutely beautiful. Echoing everyone else: please get it published and when you do, let us know so we can get copies!

RetroVirus
Jun 27, 2004



Lovely! It's not often that a comic gives me suspense without it being too drawn out. Also I will cry if the little bird gets hurt.

tifosibella
Aug 17, 2005

captian r u gay


"klaivu' posted:

The panels might lose a little punch here, but that might just add power to what is yet to come ...


I think the lack of dust and cobwebs makes the last four panels better. I liked the dust and cobwebs, but it did seem like the little jaybird had inadvertently killed his mother or something. The fade-out by itself is still ominous but no longer implies the passage of weeks or months with the jaybird turning into a strange Norman Bates kinda person.

redcheval
Dec 26, 2009

That's a little better.


Yeah, that was a punch to the gut. I think it's more effective as it looks now, although except for the fact that it'd be a little unrealistic, the haunting aspect of forgetting to ever go back to his mother after he cut the cord (...) himself would have been really interesting.

Idunn
Apr 30, 2011

That's it?


This last bit is absolutely amazing, klaivu. I never saw the original version, so to me it looks like a day or so has gone by (since it looks like it went from day to night), but even then it's very hard-hitting. I don't know if it's lost something if you were going for a much longer passage of time, but it's definitely good as it is.

Satsuma
Apr 30, 2010


Just posting to add that I'm another who is eagerly clicking this thread every time I see an update. it's absolutely incredible and I'll definitely buy this if it's ever published.

I saw the cobwebbed version too, and while it was beautifully done, I think I agree that maybe it was overkill, unless them room has been undisturbed for literally years.

CuriousSymptoms
Jul 18, 2004

Those Goddamn Rainbows Are At It Again

Oh god noooooooo I just found this and it's not finished yet aaaagh.

This is incredibly good work. The pacing, structure and narrative are beautifully conceived and rendered. I'm really enjoying this.

klaivu
Aug 29, 2006

"... Mother?"

klaivu posted:

Going to up the pace for this month, expect to see more frequent updates.

Yeah, right.

Moving on:



Quantify!
Apr 2, 2009

by Fistgrrl


Oh my god the little bird is welding a suit of armor to battle the bad birds!!!

Or possibly anything else.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

THIRTEEN!

It looks like the front door to me with the coat hooks and umbrellas.

klaivu
Aug 29, 2006

"... Mother?"

^^ Ding ding!

( I moved the panels from here to another post. )

Satsuma posted:

I saw the cobwebbed version too, and while it was beautifully done, I think I agree that maybe it was overkill, unless them room has been undisturbed for literally years.

Nah, I was actually convinced that I NEEDED to have cobwebs and the like to convey that any time had passed at all. Don't know why I thought that, guess I was kinda hung up on my first idea.

klaivu fucked around with this message at Sep 27, 2011 around 17:20

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Citizen Insane
Oct 7, 2004

We come in to the world and we have to go, but we do not go merely to serve the turn of one enemy or another.

I am really loving this; it reminds me a lot of something that might be in one of Kazu Kibuishi's Flight anthologies. Those greyscale panels of the 'Bad Birds' just about took my breath away. Can't wait to see more!

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