Search Amazon.com:
Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«110 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


I'll take him!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Ha! I almost felt bad enough to give you mine, but now I don't need to!

PublicOpinion
Oct 20, 2010

Her style is new but the face is the same as it was so long ago...


Curse my short attention span!

Anchors
Nov 27, 2007


Yes!

Edit: Blast, a new page I didn't notice.

ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!


Bad Munki posted:

e: Can I rename her to The Hon. Dr. Mrs. gently caress Rogers?

I hope not!

Continuity of name is really helpful in tracking a fighter's past exploits for setting bets.

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


HAHAHAHAHAH VERY FUNNY

Maybe you forgot about MY history. Betting on this fighter should now be a breeze.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate Black Magic and I hate everything they stand for.

I'm hereby betting all my starting dorf-bux (of which I have not spent a single bux so far) against Bad Munki's gladiator.

Jazzimus Prime
May 16, 2002

Autobot Commander, 2005-2007

I'll transfer ownership of the fighters later tonight. I've been in a business meeting all day that's still going on, and don't have full access to the site at the moment (I'm posting this from my phone).

VladTheEater
Dec 30, 2008

Ahhhhhh, fresh meat.

What a day for my power to be out for the last seven hours.

Jazzimus Prime
May 16, 2002

Autobot Commander, 2005-2007

Ownership of the fighters has been transferred!

Black Griffon, Bad Munki, and ZeeToo, please update your fighters' builds so that the third round schedule can be finalized and betting can be opened!

ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!


And done.

I don't have a good feeling about this, but I've done my best!

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


Same here. Let's see if I killed the poor tigerman.

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Okay, sure, what the hell, Mrs. Vox is also updated.

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008


The long-awaited round 3 is underway!

View the current schedule here. Start making some bets! If we get enough wagers in on the first couple fights, I will begin running matches on Friday!

RickVoid
Oct 21, 2010


All my money has been bet away. I await the results of these matches with glee!

Hooplah
Jul 15, 2006


fuck money
smoke bitches
get trees


I'm in the first round! Against Mrs. Vox the troll!

Exercu
Dec 7, 2009

EAT WELL, SLEEP WELL, SHIT WELL! THERE'S YOUR ANSWER!!


Don't worry, Bad Munki has ownership of it now, so it has most likely gained a serious dose of gently caress Rogers DNA.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


Depending on what Useless Shotgun has done with his points, this fight could be very interesting indeed. Shootey has taken down big game before.

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Vox Nihili posted:

The long-awaited round 3 is underway!
Oh, goody, I'm so exci--

Hooplah posted:

I'm in the first round! Against Mrs. Vox the troll!
fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Exercu posted:

Don't worry, Bad Munki has ownership of it now, so it has most likely gained a serious dose of gently caress Rogers DNA.
uuuuuuuuuuck

Anchors
Nov 27, 2007


Don't let me down, bad munki, I've bet my entire fortune on your victory!

No pressure.

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Me too!

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate Black Magic and I hate everything they stand for.

Anchors posted:

Don't let me down, bad munki, I've bet my entire fortune on your victory!

No pressure.

Yeeeesssss, all your dorf-bux are mine.

ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!


I'm putting it all on Horza!

Surely nothing in the world can go wrong with taking an unarmed troll, shifting vision and ownership around in the background to make things a little more uncertain, and then putting him up against an armored swordfighter whose weapon from the first round has been significantly more than enough to deal with any armor that Horza has shown so far!

What I'm saying is since Horza has no hope, you should bet against him. The low payout is balanced by his inability to win this one, so it's more like earning interest than 'betting'. Bank a little here; win some points off of me.

As for me? Blaze of glory!

Dirty Frank
Jul 8, 2004
Dirty Frank knows you're there

You're going down JSS!

FiddlersThree
Mar 13, 2010

Elliot, you IDIOT!


Uh-oh...

Iron-armored human Ted the Hurty will be facing off against steel-sword-armed human Hugh Mann! As this will very likely mean Ted the Hurty's demise, I'd recommend all of you who value winning bets to wager heavily against Ted the Hurty!

Bet Against Ted the Hurty... He Doesn't Have a Prayer!

Useless Shotgun
Nov 5, 2010

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.


Well I got a lucky shot the first time, then...I don't even know what happened the second round.

Will my luck run out? My fake dwarfbux says it won't!*

*It probably still will

RickVoid
Oct 21, 2010


I have put 7 grand down on Dies Horribly's fight.

His hilarious streak of good luck can't possibly continue.

You guys want a some of those sweet, sweet dwarfbucks, don'tcha?

Bet against Dies Horribly today!
Also Pinball Wizard, Elizabeth Bennett, and Yum too!

*resumes counting dwarfbucks*

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


I am so god drat excited for the next Dies Horribly fight, if only to see your seven grand trickle down.

Where is our blood?!

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008


Round Three, Match One

Match One, Mrs. Vox (Bad Munki) vs. Lin (Hooplah)

Mrs. Vox, a troll newly under Bad Munki's vaunted tutelage, is armed with a steel great axe and armored with a steel mail shirt. Lin, ant woman, is clad with an iron mail shirt, iron leggings, copper helm, and leather gauntlets. She wields two slender iron spears. Based on materials alone here, it looks like Mrs. Vox has a surprisingly solid advantage. Let's see how well those numbers on paper translate into real combat effectiveness!



The match begins. Lin is somewhat quicker and moves in for the first strike, but Mrs. Vox parries with her great axe and counters, missing the nimble ant woman. The troll charges, knocking Lin onto her back.



Lin parries the next strike, but Mrs. Vox immediately gores her with one of her knobby horns, inflicting a moderate wound. Lin is quickly back on her feet, but Mrs. Vox uses every bit of her size to hound the ant woman, forcing her down and back again and again. Finally, Lin manages to jump back and escape the rampaging troll.



Lin lands a solid uppercut to the troll's mouth, knocking loose one of the beast's massive teeth. However, Mrs. Vox simply sticks with her strategy, charging at Lin until the ant woman is right up against the arena wall. Lin parries and weaves, but one particular body blow leaves her completely stunned and vulnerable. Mrs. Vox brings her steel axe down twice upon the ant woman, easily sundering her iron mail and leaving the insectoid gladiator in pieces. Mrs. Vox advances!




Combat Log

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


Beautiful, short and simple. She didn't stand a chance.

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Black Griffon posted:

Beautiful, short and simple. She didn't stand a chance.

Except that I had a round to muck things up! She had all the chance in the world! I'm genuinely surprised.

Oh wait, I survived the first round of this tourney before falling out...I guess it takes up to TWO rounds for me to screw the pooch. See you next round, folks, when the Hon. Dr. Mrs. The gently caress Rogers Vox S. Preston Esq. Godzilla Buttercup XIV dies a horribly pathetic death!

Anchors
Nov 27, 2007


Finally, the strategy of of betting all my money on one fight has paid off.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


How are the fights coming along? I'm getting itchy for elf blood man.

Pure Kamikaze
Aug 4, 2008


Mcgruff the Crime Hound is itching for some JUSTICE!!

Frosted Flake
Sep 13, 2011


Just popping by to say that this is one of my all-time favorite LPs and that I'll try to get in the next one at the ground floor!!

A lot of really good fights this season, across all sizes too.

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008


Round Three, Match Two

Match Two, Pinball Wizard (Dallbun) vs. Betty (A good poster)

Pinball Wizard, goblin sharpshooter, wields a steel crossbow and bolts crafted of the same material. He opts not to bother with any entangling armor, preferring to focus entirely on scoring hits. Betty the yeti is armed with a large, silver hammer, iron breast plate, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Though her iron armor is unlikely to protect her fully from a steel bolt, it could yet save her life.



The match is underway! Betty takes her first step forward- directly into Pinball Wizard's bolt! The well-aimed shot drives itself through the yeti's iron plate, burrows into her thick layers of flesh, and finally bursts into her ribs, sending shards of bone exploding into the yeti's lung! A truly crippling shot, if ever there was one! The bolt remains lodged deep in the wound, only a few inches of the projectile extending beyond the yeti's profile.



Gasping for air and suffering agonizing pain, Betty stumbles forward, clutching at the nub of bolt protruding from her chest. Pinball Wizard reloads slowly and takes careful aim, knowing that the advantage is firmly in his corner. He fires, but his aim is off just slightly! The bolt zips by Betty's shoulder, missing by a single hand's width.



Pinball Wizard reloads and fires with greater urgency now, and Betty can only hope that his bolt will fly wide again. But the huge yeti is close and difficult to miss, now. The bolt spikes her through the leg, chipping bone and snapping ligaments on its way out. Still, Betty lumbers forward, aggression her only real option.



Mere steps away from the goblin, Betty is finally overcome and collapses. Pinball Wizard pumps her still, defenseless form full of bolts. Betty's armor offers almost no resistance to the superior armaments and their skilled handler, and Betty soon has more than a dozen wounds. The yeti passes in and out of consciousness, unable to fully gather her wits, but still presenting something of a threat due to her size alone. Finally, a bolt to her neck severs a bundle of nerves, leaving the yeti unable to breathe. As her body winds down, she manages to slowly drag herself forward, right to Pinball Wizard's feet, even as he continues to pelt her with missiles. Betty feebly attempts to bite her tormentor, but it is far too late. She suffocates a few moments later, and Pinball Wizard advances!



Combat Log

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Note to self: next round, SHIELD UP

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


That yeti was kind of terrifying, but now I'm getting a little bit nervous about facing a shooter myself.

Pure Kamikaze
Aug 4, 2008


God drat! I need to remember to buy McGruff tougher armor next round if he advances.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Anchors
Nov 27, 2007


Yeah, archers are finally getting the skill to reliably strike a target from an arena's distance away. Scary stuff.

Anchors fucked around with this message at Jul 10, 2012 around 01:12

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«110 »