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Thank god for my dad, seriously. Here's to Gretchen being not such dead weight in the final.
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Oct 16, 2014 02:53
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:59 |
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I have outlined a pretty great plan in my email that will make sure you are not dead weight in the championship match.
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Oct 16, 2014 03:04
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I not only got a kill but it was an outright decapitation. What has the world come to? e: Umm, why was I holding my boot? quote:Little Prick_Slade loses hold of the small adamantine high boot. ee: Nevermind, it was just the silly logging order of DF. The next line has my leg getting chopped off. And then I get swarmed and die. But not before I collected both a head and a foot! Bad Munki fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Oct 16, 2014 |
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Oct 16, 2014 03:14
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I won a bet! Good work slade gauntlets!
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Oct 16, 2014 03:30
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Team Legs beat Slade Gauntlets, but lost 4-0 to Modern Family. Which leaves Modern as the only team that hasn't lost yet. Interesting setup for the final..
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Oct 16, 2014 07:47
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In case it's not already obvious, Modern Family and All Slade Gauntlets All Day Long need to be updating their fighters around now. I'm hoping you can get it done before Saturday so I can download the updated macros before I go on holiday and have limited internet!
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Oct 16, 2014 12:52
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 Test Tourney, Losers bracket, Next match! Here is the current losers bracket (I think). Today we will see Purestrain Adamantium who have only one victory (run by me  ) and Ugly Stick with one victory themselves (run by Silverminnow boooo). Purestrain Adamantium had 4 kills in the victory, and 2 more kills in the other two matches. They died a total of 9 deaths which means even in the victory they lost a fighter. Ugly stick has just 4 kills from their victory. They were unable to secure a kill in the other two matches. However, they only died a total of 8 times, so they had a 4-0 victory which is better than their opponents. Ugly Stick is a much larger team with two tigermen in their ranks. You know what the best part is? Both teams have a yeti! This should be a teenage girl slapfest; I hope they line up against each other! On the left: Purestrain Adamantium. Fighters: Antastic the ant, Ballbag the kobold, Yeti Chan, and Lord Rand Paul the human. On the right: Chad the tiger, the confusingly built Tiger Uppercut, Vincent Van Gob the goblin, John Fartbutt the yeti. I will not be effort-posting this fight and instead writing it with my usual grumpy rear end in a top hat-ness. Time to build the arena!  The fighters line up and charge across the ring, ballbag a bit faster than his teammates on the left, and Tiger Uppercut and Vincent Van Gob faster on the right. I have absolutely no explanation as to why John Fartbutt the yeti (on the right) is so slow. He’s unarmored and just a huge slowpoke apparently. He should be the same speed as Yeti Chan in the middle but he isn’t. I don’t get this game.  Ballbag uses his momentum to thrust his dagger clean into Chads chest, puncturing a lung!  Tiger Uppercut lowers his big dumb head and charges Yeti Chan! Yeti Chan is surprised by the attack, but the tigerman bounces off of him harmlessly. Tiger Uppercut managed to stun himself in the process. Antastic takes advantage of Chad concentrating on his breathing and stabs him in the eye! His eye explodes, the sword is stuck in the socket, and Chad passes out. Ballbag swings his blue dagger and Chad is no more. Down below Vincent Van Gob saw how well it went for Tiger Uppercut to charge the yeti, so he decides he’ll do the same. Yeti Chan looks down in confusion as the small goblin bounces off of his chest. That would have been a great time to punch, kick, or otherwise attack the goblin but hey, I’m not judging. Yes I am, punch someone for fucks sake, your name is Yeti Chan.  Lord Rand Paul welcomes himself to the fray with a deep slash into John Fartbutts chest. The yeti responds by swinging his huge maul at the human, but Lord Rand Paul dodges away. Yeti Chan finally lives up to his name and punches the stunned Tiger Uppercut in the hand! The tigermans hand is merely bruised. As Yeti Chan is pulling his arm back for another swing Vincent Van Gob cuts his arm off at the elbow.  Ballbag and Antastic are up top double teaming the stunned Tiger Uppercut. The tigerman loses his right hand to Antastic’s sword. Ballbag thrusts deep into the tigermans body, puncturing his liver. Antastic breaks his right upper arm with her sword. Vincent Van Gob swings his axe at Yeti Chan a second time and cuts deep into the yeti’s foot, opening arteries and severing motor nerves. YETI BATTLE!!!! John Fartbutt swings with deadly accuracy, smashing Yeti Chan right in the head! The muscle is bruised. I didn’t know heads had muscles, thought they were mostly hair and skull. Lord Rand Paul comes to the rescue of Yeti Chan and stabs John Fartbutt in the face, fracturing his skull.  See them blinking white X’s? That is Yeti Chan, John Fartbutt, and Tiger Uppercutall unconscious. They fall over in a pile of bloody pussies. Yeah, I said that. How’s that mental image? Everyone disgusted? Perfect. Team stats: Purestrain Adamantium: Yeti Chan is down which is no surprise. Everyone else good to go. Ugly Stick: Chad is dead, Tiger Uppercut is unconscious, John Fartbutt unconscious, Vincent Van Gob should be terrified of the beating he is about to receive.  Antastic engages Vincent Van Gob which leaves Ballbag and Lord Rand Paul free to chop heads off. Ballbag kills Tiger Uppercut at the exact same time Lord Rand Paul finishes off John Fartbutt. If this were a video game there would be an announcer going “DOUBLE KILL!” in the background and the dudes would glow or something.  Vincent Van Gob will not go quietly into the night. He is determined to get a kill for his team, so he braves the weapons flying at him from all sides to lean down and chop Yeti Chan’s head off with one swipe of his axe.  The three remaining members of Purestrain Adamantium begin to close on the lone goblin on the right while yeti heads go flying 3 and 4 levels into the air. I can’t go any higher in the arena and the head is still up there.  You have to sort of admire Vincent Van Gob here. He finishes off the yeti and then bravely charges three opponents. Ballbag casually stabs him deep in the leg, sending him to the floor. Antastic occupies his weapons with a strike, and Lord Rand Paul removes his right arm at the shoulder.  Vincent Van Gob gets abused terribly (seriously, the bottom 1/3 of the combat log is the three sadists chopping him to bits but not killing him) before Antastic chops him nearly in half.  Purestrain Adamantium wins a relatively easy fight with a 4-1 victory! On to the losers championship! Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:42 on Oct 17, 2014 |
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Oct 16, 2014 15:17
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Vincent - the only reward for competence is a painful, prolonged beating followed by being cut in half.
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Oct 16, 2014 15:39
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Are the losers bracket teams going to be upgraded to be equal in points to the incoming losers?
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Oct 16, 2014 18:09
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Ramc posted:Are the losers bracket teams going to be upgraded to be equal in points to the incoming losers? The Loser's Bracket is for the people who didn't make it to the playoffs. So no, because there are no incoming losers.
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Oct 16, 2014 18:16
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Ablative posted:The Loser's Bracket is for the people who didn't make it to the playoffs. I demand that the losers champion has to fight team legs so that we can end it on a high note.
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Oct 16, 2014 19:48
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another victory thanks to the invaluable Yeti Chan
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Oct 16, 2014 19:53
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All of the winners on one team, all of the losers on another.
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Oct 16, 2014 19:53
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Does Urist McWingley need better than a wooden shield or not for the finals? 
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Oct 16, 2014 20:14
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Zwingley posted:Does Urist McWingley need better than a wooden shield or not for the finals? Absolutely. He needs an adamantine shield. In fact, he needs two. Shield material doesn't matter for blocking. You might want a copper shield if you want to shield bash, but whether it's worth it or not is up to you.
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Oct 16, 2014 20:17
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Khisanth Magus posted:I demand that the losers champion has to fight team legs so that we can end it on a high note. I demand that only the losers advance in the losers tournament, so that the last match ends up being a Yeti pillow fight.
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Oct 16, 2014 20:21
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Haystack posted:I demand that only the losers advance in the losers tournament, so that the last match ends up being a Yeti pillow fight. That's actually a good idea. Determining who is the worst of the worst.
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Oct 16, 2014 20:29
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Yes, I was a little surprised we weren't doing that. I suggest we do it that way around for the next tournament. I'm not yet sure if there's going to be another test tournament after this one - seems like there are enough issues at the moment that it might be worthwhile? Size variation, underpowered bows, overpowered picks, all weapons being usable by anyone, and wimpy yetis all spring to mind.
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Oct 16, 2014 20:38
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Maugrim posted:I'm not yet sure if there's going to be another test tournament after this one - seems like there are enough issues at the moment that it might be worthwhile? Size variation, underpowered bows, overpowered picks, all weapons being usable by anyone, and wimpy yetis all spring to mind. I think there should be a two week break or so while the commissioners come to an agreement about the proper way to balance the game and modify the raws, and start a new proper tournament with a new thread. In the Punchsport Pagoda if the mods permit it.  (Please, Jazz)
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Oct 16, 2014 20:47
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my dad posted:I think there should be a two week break or so while the commissioners come to an agreement about the proper way to balance the game and modify the raws, and start a new proper tournament with a new thread. This is probably what we'll be doing. my dad posted:In the Punchsport Pagoda if the mods permit it. Uh... I can't promise this one.
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Oct 16, 2014 22:19
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my dad posted:That's actually a good idea. Determining who is the worst of the worst. Ramc, they are talking about you. Come defend your title! Edit: show them your ribbon!
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Oct 17, 2014 01:12
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Jazzimus Prime posted:Uh... I can't promise this one. That last part may have been a joke. Spermy Smurf posted:Ramc, they are talking about you. Come defend your title! Ramc, Ramc, he's our man, if he can do it, everyone can!
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Oct 17, 2014 16:06
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how do I make this thing go which button do I press fight already
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Oct 17, 2014 21:34
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I'm really good at remembering to place bets.
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Oct 17, 2014 22:05
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Bad Munki posted:how do I make this thing go No rush! There are still a couple of losers' bracket matches and the third place playoff to come before the grand final. 
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Oct 17, 2014 23:17
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Yes rush.
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Oct 17, 2014 23:33
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The fight is run but the rear end in a top hat won't tell me who won. I am tempted to halfass both losers fights tonight just to make him stop with the excuses! 
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Oct 17, 2014 23:47
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Spermy Smurf posted:All of the winners on one team, all of the losers on another. Please do this.
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Oct 17, 2014 23:51
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What the hell, did someone put Vox in charge of running the next fights or something? 
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Oct 20, 2014 03:41
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Bad Munki posted:What the hell, did someone put Vox in charge of running the next fights or something? All the commissioners had school/work/family/real life stuff come up at the same time. It happens. Should be back on schedule in a day or two.
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Oct 20, 2014 07:02
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Still gotta finish losers bracket before the championship match too.
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Oct 20, 2014 11:28
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So how about an all Yeti tournament. It would be an amazing display of uselessness and would result in teams consisting entirely of Yeti-Chan.
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Oct 20, 2014 12:03
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Jazzimus Prime posted:It happens. Nooooooooo Spermy Smurf posted:Still gotta finish losers bracket before the championship match too. It's agonizing!
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Oct 20, 2014 14:58
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Testekill posted:So how about an all Yeti tournament. It would be an amazing display of uselessness and would result in teams consisting entirely of Yeti-Chan.
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Oct 20, 2014 18:27
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Test Tournament 2, Loser's 3rd Place Match! Current bracket:  On the left, Habeas Corpses, featuring from top to bottom: The Obituator the Soldier Ant Woman managed by Ablative, Yettie Page the Yeti managed by A good poster, Gavin Henson the Dark Gnome managed by goatface and Bring The Pain the Molemarian managed by VladTheEater. On the right, Ugly Stick, featuring from top to bottom: Chad the Tiger Man managed by captaindirtnap, Tiger Uppercut the Tiger Man managed by synthorange, Vincent van Gob the Goblin managed by Afriscipio and John Fartbutt the Yeti managed by Gangsta Boogie.  And they're off! First blood goes to John Fartbutt who crushes one of Bring The Pain's feet with his maul! The next meaningful attack goes to The Obituator who breaks one of Chad's arms with an axe swing. Bring The Pain lashes John Fartbutt hard enough to fracture the Yeti's lower spine. John Fartbutt responds by charging the Molemarian to the ground, followed by shattering Bring The Pain's ribs. Vincent van Gob joins the fray by chopping off one of The Obituator's arms! Chad stabs the hell out of The Obituator's leg and the Soldier Ant Woman hits the ground! Tiger Uppercut grabs The Obituator and takes off in a charge against Yettie Page(?!), Tiger Uppercut falls over as everybody wonders what the hell he was thinking. John Fartbutt explodes another of Bring The Pain's feet and the Molemarian falls. John Fartbutt follows up by exploding Bring The Pain's right arm! Vincent van Gob cuts off Yettie Page's left arm! John Fartbutt scratches Bring The Pain's left arm badly enough that the Molemarian drops his whip! The Obituator hacks Chad's right paw and grounds the Tiger Man. Tiger Uppercut bites Yettie Page's arm hard enough that she drops her hammer to the ground. Yettie Page responds by immediately charging and knocking over Tiger Uppercut. Chad stabs off one of The Obituator's feet and the Ant Woman is losing ichor at an alarming rate. John Fartbutt continues smashing Bring The Pain, this time crushing another foot. Vincent van Gob get's a solid hack in on Yettie Page's arm. Chad stabs off another limb from The Obituator. Tiger Uppercut crushed Bring The Pain's hand into his body with a punch. Chad stabs The Obituator again, causing the Ant Woman to drop an iron axe. The Obituator had another axe and retaliates by fracturing Chad's right arm, causing the Tiger Man to lose hold of his pike. The Obituator promptly bleeds to death after this last heroic act.   John Fartbutt crushes another of Bring The Pain's legs. Gavin Henson stabs Chad in the hand, tearing fat and causing the Tiger Man to black out!  Gavin Henson spills Chad's guts with his dagger! John Fartbutt continues to assail Bring The Pain by exploding the Molemarian's left arm. John Fartbutt breaks the bones in Bring The Pain's right arm next, rendering both arms near useless. Yettie Page kicks Chad's ribs into his lungs. Vincent van Gob cuts off one of Bring The Pain's feet, followed by Gavin Henson stabbing Chad in the brain.  John Fartbutt explodes another of Bring The Pain's feet. I'm starting to feel like Bring The Pain has way more feet than a Molemarian should, that or John Fartbutt has some kind of foot torture fetish. John Fartbutt bruises Bring The Pain's heart through the Molemarian's armor. Vincent van Gob kicks one of Bring The Pain's ribs in. Bring The Pain clamps down on Tiger Uppercut's arm with his teeth and the Tiger Man blacks out!  Yetti Page kicks Tiger Uppercut's hand into a lump. Vincent van Gob cuts off Bring The Pain's hand, the Molemarian is starting to look a little pale on top of being beaten to a pulp! Tiger Uppercut is beat on until Gavin Henson stabs the Tiger Man in the head!  Bring The Pain continues to be beaten up. Yettie Page bites John Fartbutt so hard in the lower body that it bruises his spleen, ouch. Needless to say John Fartbutt blacks out.  All of Habeas Corpses piles damage onto John Fartbutt, but the Yeti proves too resilient to kill. Meanwhile Vincent van Gob continues to brutalize Bring The Pain in John Fartbutt's absence. After several more crushing attacks Bring The Pain finally bleeds to death.   *Seriously look at how much damage Bring The Pain took and he still fought back until the very end. Molemarians are ridiculous.* His primary target taken care of, Vincent van Gob turns and immediately nearly bisects Gavin Henson. The Dark Gnome falls, lifeless.  Vincent van Gob turns towards Yettie Page, target confirmed. Vincent immediately hacks Yettie Page's skull and the Yeti blacks out. One more hack and the head is removed. Vincent van Gob terminates his last victim as the rest of Ugly Stick back away slowly.   Ugly Stick wins third place! Congratulations! Score: Ugly Stick - 4, Habeas Corpses - 2 Kills: Vincent van Gob - 4, Gavin Henson - 2 Combat Log Lessons learned: Molemarians can take forever to kill without a decapitation and Goblins are still deadly with axes.
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Oct 21, 2014 06:26
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Bene Elim posted:I think EpeeEM or ZeeToo ran one of these back when Vox was in charge. It was hilarious back then, and I'd welcome another one, as well as another 'worst warrior' tournament. I did! CommaToes' yeti "Jim" was the winner of YETI BRAWL with his Fighting/Wrestling/Dodge/Bite build!
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Oct 21, 2014 20:41
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Poor Chad. His only purpose in life was to be murdered in the most brutal way possible.
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Oct 21, 2014 20:43
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Well thats the last time I try an wrestler.
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Oct 21, 2014 20:56
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Axes seem to be pretty effective for removing body parts that opponents don't really need, like their heads.
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Oct 21, 2014 21:57
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:59 |
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An interesting gimmick match idea just popped into my mind, the "Dead Weight" round. This is where any fighters who did not score any kills at all who belonged to winning teams fight each other. Whilst more complicated, it makes sense.
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Oct 21, 2014 22:35
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