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Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Spermy Smurf posted:

This next fight will determine a playoff spot for either Platinum Helms or Meat and Two Veg. The winner will have a 2-0 record, the loser will be tied for second place (with Cave Pals and 1-1 records) and I forget how we do tiebreakers.

Minotaur Mites has been eliminated from playoff contention :(

Welp. After finding the *science notes* I posted on the last this very page, I'm not terribly surprised by that result - smaller contestants seem to be even more hosed in this version than they were in DF2010. Still, I'm glad Gnomelette got a chance to show off her pretty decent dodging skills.

Maugrim fucked around with this message at 18:18 on Aug 19, 2014

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Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
So for the next round, shall we continue the system of "any commissioner who's free can post to say they're grabbing the next fight"?

I'm hoping I'll have some evenings to run fights from Monday, if you buggers haven't blasted through the whole thing by then.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
I've emailed Spermy Smurf, hopefully we can get some sort of commissioner email chain going. Might be nice to include Jazzimus too.

Regarding equipment, I think anything less than full disclosure just makes things complicated, unless someone wants to write a text parser that spits out a list of each fighter's equipment based purely on what gets mentioned in the log. I occasionally write text parsers in Python for work, so if I have an evening spare and don't feel like running a fight I might give it a whirl.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Spermy Smurf posted:

I believe the final fight is being run and written up now.

It is, but very slowly as it's my first time running a fight and it's going to be a moderate effortpost, as befits a grand final.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
The fight is run and we have a winner. Unfortunately, you don't get to find out who until tomorrow! The write-up is partially complete but I really need to sleep as I have work in the morning.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
:siren: Test Tournament, Championship Match :siren:

Good afternoon and welcome to the Boatmurdered Arena. This is where it all began, ladies and gentlemen, and this is where it's likely to end in relatively short order, with or without elephants.

I say, John. What on earth are we doing here? I don't remember this from the script.

Oh, it's just a little idea I had for a new sketch. I'm presenting the grand final of this gruesome gladiatorial gala.

I'm not sure I see the comic potential.

There isn't any. It's all completely serious.

Completely serious?

Completely serious.

Righto. Break a leg and all that.

That'll be the least of it.


The Wild Animals vs Meat and Two Veg



You join us just as the fighters are lining up on opposite sides of the arena on another sweltering day deep in the bowels of the earth. We should be in for quite a spectacle and the fight will kick off in just a moment, so let's just run through the competitors.

On the left side of the arena we have The Wild Animals, featuring King, an anthropoid tiger with a bachelor's degree in breaking fingers; One-Eyed Willie, a trouser snake with a penchant for penetration; and Sunny, a molemarian who has never actually seen the sun but says he would like to visit it if he wins today. I'm sure we all wish him the best of luck with that.

Arrayed against them we can see Treeloved the elf, married to a very attractive bristlecone pine; Compost Day, another elf, who lost his sense of smell in a battle with a skunk titan and has been unpopular at parties ever since; and Onan, a human who I'm told religiously cracks one off before cracking heads. I've no idea which god's involved in that religion, honestly, but we can be sure he has his priorities straight.

Now they're all at the starting line, and there's a jolly good crowd here today.

Doctor! DOCTOR!

Oh good grief, not this one again.

Are you the brain specialist?

drat it, man, I said no Gumbies. This isn't the time or the place. Besides, I'm already ripping off a different sketch.

Oh, fine. What's going on here, anyway?

No-quarter interracial gladiatorial combat, just as soon as you lot let me get on with it.

Goodness. Is that a giant naked mole rat in steel armour?

With an adamantine battleaxe. Yes.

Carry on then.



And they're off! We have Meat and Two Veg all marching in disciplined lockstep, while Sunny lets his enthusiasm get the better of him and charges ahead of his comrades.



He pays for his rashness as Onan gets the first hit in on him with his platinum warhammer - he appears to have fractured a rear leg.

The mole doesn't seem to care much.

Those fellows don't feel any pain. You can chop all their limbs off and they'll still come at you.

That sounds terribly familiar.



Sunny's ignoring Onan and instead takes a swipe at Compost Day as he edges into range. Just a shallow slice to the neck through the steel mail - lucky he didn't have his head off with that axe.

I like all the glowing blue weapons. Very pretty.

A bit of feinting and dodging now - Treeloved in particular is looking quite limber, and handy with his oak shield - no relation to his wife, I'm told. Ah, here we go, Treeloved gets a good stab in on King - but it's deflected! The tiger has invested in an adamantine mail shirt, and it's definitely proven its worth there.

Compost Day, meanwhile, stabs Sunny in the arm with his adamantine longsword, and that's enough to make the molemarian drop his shield.

Now a bit more feinting and... ah!



Yes, it appears King has finally managed to get past Treeloved's shield and grabbed him by the throat. The elf could be in trouble here. He flails wildly with his spear but can't get through King's mail before getting put into a chokehold.



I'm back. How's the fight going?

Rather badly for whoever's hand just got chopped off, I suspect. Is that a giant naked mole rat in...

Steel armour. Yes. I'm surprised nobody's commented on the tiger man or the giant snake yet.

Naked mole rats have better shock value. Besides, a naked mole rat once bit my sister.

Wasn't that a moose?

Same thing.

But yes, it appears Sunny is in trouble now, having lost his right hand to Compost Day's glowing blue sword, along with his gauntlet and battleaxe. The molemarian will function purely as a punching bag from now on.

He's very good at that.



Hmm, I think King may have made a tactical error there, shifting from a highly advantageous chokehold to a slightly less secure grip on Treeloved's lower left back teeth. Still, that does allow him to wrestle the elf to the ground. Treeloved stands right back up, but is knocked to the ground again by a charge from King.



There goes Sunny's leg.

So it does. He's taking a pounding from Compost Day, who follows up with a deep slash to the heart. Sunny might not feel any pain, but he's not long for this world, alas.

King's wrestling is being rather ineffectual meanwhile, but he does manage to bruise Treeloved's spleen with a solid punch.

It's a good word, spleen. Words that force you to smile as you say them are the funniest. Sheep. Spleen. Cheese.

Cleese.

That bastard. No wonder he's everyone's favourite.



The first hint of a break for The Wild Animals now: Treeloved gets a good stab in on King's hand but then has his ribs broken by a flanking spear thrust from One-Eyed Willie. First useful action we've seen from the trouser snake.

Also, I think Sunny just got stabbed in the pancreas. This is quite the anatomy lesson.

I'd nearly forgotten about Onan, but the human has been manoeuvring and now swings his warhammer accurately, forcing One-Eyed Willie to drop his shield.



One more hit to the foot from Compost Day and Sunny has bled to death. Didn't see that one coming.

Poor chap never did get to visit the sun.

Well, this is going rather badly for the Wild Animals so far, but there's still a chance to pull it back if One-Eyed Willie can get another good hit in. He might have the opportunity as Treeloved is still struggling to get through King's armour. He appears to be ignoring the adamantine spear stuck between his ribs, which Willie is desperately trying to dislodge.



It's King's turn to take a beating now, mostly on his arms, which is probably sensible as they're his most dangerous asset. Onan breaks bones and Compost Day gets a good hit in that opens an artery and severs quite a few nerves, by the looks of it.

This whole thing seems a terrible waste of blood. We should report them to the Department of Health.



Whoops. The tigerman takes a solid slash from Compost Day there.

'Tis but a scratch.

A scratch? His arm's off!

No it isn't.

Well what's that then?



Before we end up re-enacting the entirety of that scene, I should confirm that yes, King has now lost an arm and things are looking extremely grim for the Wild Animals. Both King and Willie are armoured in adamantine and it's protected them innumerable times, but attacks are still getting through and they don't seem capable of retaliating. In desperation, One-Eyed Willie charges at Treeloved, who stands his ground as the trouser snake simply bounces off him.

Compost Day has now chopped off King's left arm. Definitely getting a sense of dιja vu here.

Just a flesh wound.

Shut up or we'll be here all night. Look - Onan just bashed One-Eyed Willie in the forked tongue with his warhammer and the injured part exploded into gore.

Well I've certainly never seen that before. You live and learn.

Not to be outdone, Treeloved punches King in the tongue with pretty much identical results.

I'm really not sure what purpose this all serves.

Compost Day is the only one who appears to be focused on actually getting the fight over with. He stabs One-Eyed Willie in the hand, opening an artery and forcing the trouser snake to drop his spear and collapse in agony! The elf then turns his attention to King and kicks him in the eye, which promptly explodes.

...

Everyone is piling on King at this point, but the only attacks getting through the adamantine mail are Onan's warhammer strikes. Up until Treeloved decides to pulp the tigerman's ear with a punch, anyway.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not sure I see the comedy here.

It's all about the black humour.

Onan bashes King in the mouth, which loosens his teeth sufficiently for Treeloved to reach in and rip out every single one.



I've just had a great idea for a dentistry sketch.

A great deal more violence takes place before King finally, mercifully passes out from exhaustion. A multitude of spear thrusts and hammer strikes bounce off his adamantine helm before he is finally struck down. Onan gets the killing blow.



Fortunately, we're spared a similarly sadistic display on One-Eyed Willie, as Treeloved turns to him and calmly stabs him through the head with his spear to end the fight. And now, gentlemen, if you don't mind, I'm going to go and rock myself gently in a corner somewhere.

Don't worry, he does that after most of our sketches.

Meat and Two Veg 3, The Wild Animals 0
Kills - Compost Day 1, Onan 1, Treeloved 1.

Combat Log

Maugrim fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Sep 4, 2014

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
That's a lot of monopoly money. Congrats on winning the betting.

Pretty happy with my third place in the betting given that my own fighter was possibly the worst performer on the worst performing team in the tournament.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Thank you all for the nice words. Please don't feel discouraged, my Grand Final effortpost took about 5 hours and I'm definitely not planning to do something like it every time. The pace of this tournament has been great and every match has been fun to read.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Frozen_flame posted:

So, er, Team 10 (Spoggerific, Maugrim, Anta), want to co-ordinate at all? Drop a PM.

Don't have PMs. Start a Google hangout maybe? I'm morikins on the ol' gee mail.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
If he doesn't create within 24 hours, release the slot to someone else.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Toady needs to implement skill synergy. Points in archery should TOTALLY improve your crossbow skill a little. All that practice aiming.

Also, not everyone in that fight had a steel weapon, but my kobold never got to use his :v:

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Shhhhhhhhhh!

(Edit) Oh er content for new page... I should be able to run a fight tomorrow if there are any left. Failing that, Sunday if the new round has started by then.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Yeah, as much as the focus has been on the amazing teamkill, that was probably the best performance from a gremlin I've ever seen in these tournaments.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Jazzimus, is there any chance we can adjust the build of Brother Boccob (managed by Frozen_Flame) for round 2 so that he has marksdwarf skill rather than archer?

I mean, there's fun gimmick testing builds and then there's honest mistakes that basically doom the team.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Well hey. Now that Boccob's build is fixed, it's actually looking pretty inspired! A very impressive performance. Now if only his teammates (me) were better set up to support him...

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Let's see what this next fight adds to the discussion.

:siren: Test Tournament 2, Week 2, Match 5 :siren:

Today's spectacular sees Oscar Pistorius's gun club engage the Throwbacks in a light-hearted tussle to the death! Both teams have recorded one loss so far, and it's anyone's fight to win.

Oscar Pistorius's gun club comprises It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre the yeti managed by Locomotive breath, Duckaerobics' Just a Prick the kobold, Maarak's Karl the human, and matthew beet's redoubtable dwarf hambeaten. Glowering at them across the arena, the Throwbacks are Silverminnow's Skate the yeti, Astus' The Beast the human, Jack the Lad's human self-insert Lionheart Jack, and Ninjavitis' Taardvark the molemarian.



Neither team fields an archer, and a chorus of wild yells rings out as all eight fighters sprint towards each other.



The Throwbacks are quicker off the mark and the brawlers clash slightly left of the centre of the arena. Capitalising on his team's initiative, The Beast immediately hacks his steel two-handed sword into the foot of fellow human Karl, who topples to the floor!


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man downed

The Beast jumps nimbly aside as all three of his standing opponents retaliate at the same time. They succeed in forcing him away from their fallen team-mate, but that simply gives Lionheart Jack an opening to bash the hapless Karl in the arm with his copper warhammer, forcing the downed fighter to drop one of his two daggers!


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man downed

The Beast, determined to finish the task at hand, deftly stabs off Karl's uninjured foot with the tip of his giant sword. Lionheart Jack in turn bashes the hapless daggerman in the chest, severely winding him.

"So easily broken..." gasps Karl through his agony. "I must not give in to fear!" The Beast grins ferally in response and hacks off his leg.


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man downed & dislegged

Meanwhile, away from the main brawl, two separate single combats have developed:

- It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre and Skate are having a yeti face-off, fists against warhammer. For a while they exchange only bruises and seem evenly matched, but then It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre lands a solid haymaker and Skate is knocked unconscious, toppling like a falling tree.


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man downed, disarmed and dislegged
Throwbacks: 1 yeti downed, unconscious


- Just a Prick parries a wild blow from Taardvark almost casually, and then jams his dagger straight into the molemarian's skull! It's not quite deep enough to finish him off, but the dagger lodges firmly in the wound. Just a Prick struggles to tug it free as the bewildered molemarian shakes his head and tries to bring his weapon to bear.

Back in the main melee, in a last-ditch attempt to save the beleaguered Karl, hambeaten hacks a deep gash in The Beast's leg with his long sword, opening an artery and severing nerves. After a moment struggling to keep his balance, The Beast topples to the floor.


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man downed, disarmed and dislegged
Throwbacks: 1 yeti downed, unconscious; 1 man downed but still fighting


hambeaten grunts in satisfaction and pulls his weapon out of The Beast's leg just in time to deflect a counterblow from the snarling human. He attempts to finish his opponent off, but The Beast parries the attack and then lunges spitefully at the broken Karl lying next to him, slicing off his hand. The two downed humans then start scratching at each other ineffectually, ignoring hambeaten, who cheerfully takes the opportunity to surgically remove The Beast's left foot, and Lionheart Jack, who is oblivious to the plight of his team-mates as he continues to tenderise Karl with his warhammer.

Meanwhile, It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre has straddled Skate's prone form and is making a game attempt to pummel his head into paste, while Just a Prick, with impeccable precision, hamstrings two of Taardvark's legs to bring the molemarian toppling to the floor. He sets to work in earnest, parrying his opponent's blows and slicing anything he can reach. Things are definitely looking up for Oscar Pistorius's gun club.


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man downed, disarmed, dislegged and disembowelled
Throwbacks: 1 yeti downed, unconscious; 1 man downed and footless; 1 molemarian downed


The Beast remembers that he still has a sword and jams it into Karl's guts - Karl is actually doing a stellar job as a distraction and punching bag here, managing to stay conscious throughout an absolutely brutal working over and giving hambeaten the opportunity to stab off The Beast's other foot. The Beast ignores this setback and smashes Karl's last remaining extremity into pulp with the pommel of his sword.


Karl the Punching Bag - somehow still conscious


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man downed, disarmed, dislegged and dis-just-about-everythinged
Throwbacks: 1 yeti downed, unconscious; 1 man downed and footless; 1 molemarian downed


hambeaten has a good go at hacking The Beast's leg off next, but succeeds only in getting his sword stuck in the feral human's thigh. He gives it a tug to try and free it... and finds himself unexpectedly on the receiving end of The Beast's two-handed sword, which cleaves his throat asunder. Gasping, he tries to retaliate, but is deftly parried by the seemingly indefatigable human. The Beast follows up with a wickedly fast strike that decapitates hambeaten, at the same moment as Karl collapses, dead from blood loss. The Beast lives up to his name and is awarded a simultaneous double kill despite the loss of two feet and several pints of blood.


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man dead, 1 dwarf dead
Throwbacks: 1 yeti downed, unconscious; 1 man downed and footless; 1 molemarian downed


Just a Prick parries yet another strike from Taardvark and then disembowels him with a flick of his dagger. The molemarian is simply outclassed by the knife fighter, and seems to realise it when the kobold embeds the dagger in his foot. Instead of trying to retaliate, Taardvark crawls over to assist the unconscious Skate, taking the kobold's dagger with him. He stabs his spear into It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre's stomach, landing his first solid blow of the match through the yeti's copper mail. He follows up with another strike to the same spot, this time penetrating right to the spine! The abruptly paraplegic It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre falls to the floor.


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man dead, 1 dwarf dead, 1 yeti downed
Throwbacks: 1 yeti downed, unconscious; 1 man downed and footless; 1 molemarian downed and disembowelled


Just a Prick gives up on his embedded dagger and turns his attention to the yetis: he starts punching Skate in the head. Lionheart Jack also joins the yeti brawl, choosing It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre as his new target. Several seconds of ineffectual blows pass by... and then The Beast arrives, having slowly dragged himself across the intervening space.

The Beast's first blow half severs It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre's left arm, and the yeti immediately passes out from the pain. His second blow tears up the yeti's head. And then, finally, The Beast collapses, dead from blood loss. The kill is awarded posthumously to hambeaten.


It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre after receipt of The Beast's attentions

The Beast's death is not in vain, however; a couple of seconds later, Taardvark and Lionheart Jack land simultaneous blows on the unconscious It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre, the molemarian fracturing his skull and the human pulping it completely to secure the kill.


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man dead; 1 dwarf dead; 1 yeti dead
Throwbacks: 1 man dead; 1 yeti downed, unconscious; 1 molemarian downed, disembowelled


The remaining Throwbacks pause to assess the situation. They have one opponent left: Just a Prick is completely uninjured, repeatedly pummelling at the unconscious Skate's head with his left hand, having apparently forgotten the large dagger he left embedded in Taardvark's foot. Lionheart Jack is also uninjured, not having had a blow aimed at him all fight; Taardvark, on the other hand, has been carved up thoroughly by the little kobold and is faint from blood loss.


Taardvark not lookin' so hot

Lionheart Jack and Taardvark both prod cautiously at Just a Prick, who simply sways out of the way and delivers a final, ineffectual punch to Skate's head. Then, realising that he's getting nowhere, Just a Prick tugs his dagger out of Taardvark just in time to parry a second blow from Lionheart Jack.

In frustration, Lionheart Jack charges at the kobold, who dodges nimbly and takes the opportunity to bury his dagger in Skate's head. He realises his mistake when the dagger lodges in the wound, and Lionheart Jack bashes him in the stomach as he tries to wrestle his weapon free. It's the first hit the kobold has suffered all fight.

Just a Prick swipes desperately at Lionheart Jack, but misses. Both combatants are oblivious as Taardvark finally bleeds out nearby (kill awarded to Just a Prick).


Oscar Pistorius's gun club: 1 man dead; 1 dwarf dead; 1 yeti dead
Throwbacks: 1 man dead; 1 molemarian dead; 1 yeti downed, unconscious


Lionheart Jack charges again, this time knocking Just a Prick down, but the kobold springs straight back to his feet. They circle, feinting, looking for an opening... and then Lionheart Jack lashes out with a foot, smashing the kobold's cheek into a lump of gore. This is too much for Just a Prick, who, already nauseated by the earlier bash to his stomach, spews uncontrollably.


BLEAAAUUUURRRRRGHHHH

Just a Prick tries to get a strike in edgeways, but the human parries easily, confident of his imminent victory. The nauseated kobold is doing his best, but even those attacks that do get through are deflected by Lionheart Jack's impenetrable armour: steel gauntlets, boots and mail shirt. Eventually a strike to Just a Prick's right leg cracks bone, bringing him to the ground.

From there, it's a brutal execution as Lionheart Jack fends off the kobold's strikes and lands blow after blow of his own. Eventually he shatters a rib and the kobold gives in to pain. Two more well-aimed strikes and Just a Prick's head explodes like a ripe melon, ending the fight with victory for the Throwbacks.


Throwbacks beat Oscar Pistorius's gun club 4-2!

Kills: The Beast 2, Lionheart Jack 2, hambeaten 1, Just a Prick 1

Congratulations to all for an exciting fight! I was definitely rooting for the kobold at the end there, but he didn't really have a chance against a human in full steel armour.

Combat Log

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Well done team for winning in spite of Rambold's pathetic showing.

I swear I don't set out to build my fighters badly, but I've never had one be remotely effective in any official fight, ever.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

SynthOrange posted:

So uh, what are we waiting on exactly?

The commissioners to not be busy / notice that the playoff round is now open.

Good news: I should have more time to run fights in the very near future!

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Ghostwoods posted:

Yeah. Betting against the team with the yeti seems like a great move.

Also against the team with an archer.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
:siren: Test Tournament 2, Playoff Round 1, Fight 3 :siren:

The winner's bracket match for today is Modern Family vs The Kitten Appreciation Society. Modern Family topped their league unbeaten with three wins, while Kitten Appreciation Society scraped through with a still-impressive 2-1 record. The bookies are favouring Modern Family in this match-up, but let's see how things pan out in reality!

Fighting for Modern Family we have:
Child Protective Services (kobold) by unwantedplatypus
Urist McWingley (dwarf) by Zwingley
Gnome Chance (dark gnome) by Bene Elim
Leonard Lowpate (dwarf) by Segway Rave

Representing The Kitten Appreciation Society we have:
Noserubbed (kobold) by Neurion
Charity (molemarian) by Tunicate
Lumberelf (elf) by Pickled Tink
Suns Out Guns Out (troll) by Lorrdernie



This is of course the winners' bracket, which means no useless archers here. Two rows of melee combatants charge towards each other as soon as the flag drops.



Lumberelf is especially quick and ends up in the midst of the enemy team, nimbly leaping past an opening strike from Leonard Lowpate whilst parrying an attack from Urist McWingley with the copper battleaxe in her right hand. Unfortunately this leaves her open to Gnome Chance, who hammers her pick into Lumberelf's left shoulder, severing arm, leather glove and adamantine battleaxe all at once. That's what you get for showing off.



As Lumberelf's arm sails away towards the upper right corner of the arena, both dwarves set to work on her with longsword and hammer. Dismayed, Lumberelf exclaims "Can it all end so quickly? I must not succumb to fear!"

Gnome Chance meanwhile decides she's done enough to the elf and turns to Charity, embedding her pick into the molemarian's arm. A satisfying quantity of blood spatter already covers the arena floor by this point.



Child Protective Services (who has been duelling, ineffectively thus far, with Charity) finally scores a hit on the same arm that was targeted by Gnome Chance. It's pretty mangled, but the pain-immune molemarian doesn't flinch, even when Gnome Chance tears open an artery in her tail.

Meanwhile Suns Out Guns Out, the lumbering troll, finally reaches the melee and scores a bruising hit on Urist McWingley's arm with his silver maul. He parries the counterblow easily, obviously at home with his weapon. He then charges at Leonard Lowpate and bowls him over! The dwarf hops back to his feet immediately, none the worse for wear.



The deadly Gnome Chance abruptly severs Charity's head with her steel pick. Man, gently caress picks. They really shouldn't sever stuff so easily.



Just to prove my point, Gnome Chance follows up by hacking off Noserubbed's right arm. The kobold's steel gauntlet and adamantine dagger drop to the floor. Noserubbed manages to block an attack from Child Protective Services, but then has his leg removed by the terrifying pick. Unsurprisingly, he falls over. Gnome Chance administers the coup de grace, severing Noserubbed's head with her third blow in succession.

Gratuitous status check:
Kitten Appreciation Society: Charity and Noserubbed dead, Lumberelf missing an arm (but still has a copper axe in the other hand).
Modern Family: Urist McWrigley has some mild bruising to his right upper arm.



At this point, the fight is all about Gnome Chance. Everyone else has just been dodging and feinting for the last few minutes. She decides to turn her attention to Suns Out Guns Out next, and severs one of his tusks with a strike of her pick. His retaliation misses wildly, but he evades her next blow by charging past her at Leonard Lowpate, who hurriedly skips out of the troll's path.

The two remaining members of the Kitten Appreciation Society fight bravely on. Lumberelf bruises Urist McWingley in the arm with the pommel of her axe, while Suns Out Guns Out bruises Gnome Chance in the arm with his silver maul. Surely such noble efforts can turn the tide of the fight?



Sadly not. Suns Out Guns Out charges at the gnome, but she simply dances out of the way and embeds her pick in the troll's chest. She follows up by severing his foot, bringing him to the ground with a crash.



Confident that Gnome Chance can handle a mere troll, the other three members of Modern Family all focus on Lumberelf. Child Protective Services tears up her arm, forcing her to drop her remaining axe. Leonard Lowpate buries his sword in her leg, bringing her to the floor. Child Protective Services finishes the job by severing her neck with his adamantine spear.



Suns Out Guns Out tries a last desperate strike, but Gnome Chance contemptuously deflects it with her pick and punches the troll in the mouth, destroying his upper lip. Leonard Lowpate strolls over and hacks the troll's arm open, Gnome Chance severs it, and Urist McWingley sets to work on his other arm with his hammer. Suns Out Guns Out mercifully passes out after Gnome Chance splinters his leg, and the coup de grace is delivered by Child Protective Services - a true team effort.



Modern Family wins an effortless 4-0 victory over The Kitten Appreciation Society, having suffered a total of 3 minor bruises between the entire team.

Kills: Gnome Chance 2, Child Protective Services 2
Severs: Gnome Chance 8, Child Protective Services 1, Leonard Lowpate 1

Combat Log

Maugrim fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Oct 8, 2014

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Oops - fixed now. I was getting the weapons and materials wrong quite a lot in this write-up for some reason.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
As far as I can tell it's because they have a tiny contact area (which applies enormous force) but are still capable of severs (being classed as an edged weapon). There's no concept of a point/piercing weapon in the raws - spears are edged weapons and they too are pretty deadly. I think the pick's "edge" is smaller and its force multiplier higher than a spear's, though.

I guess Toady could fix this either by introducing the concept of a pointed weapon, or by adding a comparison between the width of the "edge" and the width of the limb being attacked when determining whether a sever is possible. I'm not sure what we can do about it from just messing with the raws though.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Picks in real life are pretty unwieldy. I wonder if we should look at significantly modifying the attack prepare/recover stat - try 3:6 or something...

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
I applaud the effort that went into this and yes, the twist at the end was great.

I thought for a minute you'd actually edited the tileset to produce the first screenshot.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
In case it's not already obvious, Modern Family and All Slade Gauntlets All Day Long need to be updating their fighters around now. I'm hoping you can get it done before Saturday so I can download the updated macros before I go on holiday and have limited internet!

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Yes, I was a little surprised we weren't doing that. I suggest we do it that way around for the next tournament.

I'm not yet sure if there's going to be another test tournament after this one - seems like there are enough issues at the moment that it might be worthwhile? Size variation, underpowered bows, overpowered picks, all weapons being usable by anyone, and wimpy yetis all spring to mind.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Bad Munki posted:

how do I make this thing go



which button do I press



fight already

No rush! There are still a couple of losers' bracket matches and the third place playoff to come before the grand final. :smugdog:

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Spermy Smurf posted:

I am willing to bet $5 with the first person to stop reading right now and post in the thread. I expect the first death to be It Ain’t Ogre till it’s Snogre. If Yeti Chan lives longer than Snogre, you owe me $5; if Snogre dies quicker I will paypal you $5. Any takers? We’re on the honor system here, so stop reading, hit post, and accept my bet, then go back and read the fight. First come first serve.

Dude. I suspect the reason nobody took your bet was because it makes no sense:

"I expect the first death to be It Ain't Ogre till it's Snogre" = betting that Snogre dies first
"If Yeti Chan lives longer than Snogre, you owe me $5" = betting that Snogre dies first
"If Snogre dies quicker I will paypal you $5" = betting that Yeti Chan dies first
"gently caress this game and gently caress all of you" [after Snogre dies first] = betting that Yeti Chan dies first????

Basically you changed your mind halfway through making the bet!

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Spermy Smurf posted:

In my defense I am not a very smart man.

I personally choose to believe that you are very smart and have avoided losing $5 by sowing maximum confusion.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Boom. Congrats to two and two half men, always knew you guys would go far!

Looks like that's my cue to get on with posting the final. I'm on holiday at the moment (i.e. bags of time) but will be heading home tomorrow morning (i.e. suddenly busy again), so I may well forgo the conventional delay between fights and get it up tonight. Watch this space!

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
:siren: Test Tournament 2, GRAND FINAL triple post extravaganza :siren:

Written and directed by:
Rambold the kobold, winner of Arena's Worst Fighter for three years running

Starring:
Bad Munki as Little Prick the gremlin
my dad as Fed After Midnight the gremlin
Spermy Smurf as lNTAC the serpent man
Mlle as Retchin' Gretchen the goblin

And:
unwantedplatypus as Child Protective Services the kobold
Zwingley as Urist McWingley the dwarf
Bene Elim as Gnome Chance the dark gnome
Segway Rave as Leonard Lowpate the dwarf

Also starring:
Queen Sankis of Dwarfhalla as herself

********************************

The miasma in the changing rooms was a medley of sweat and other, stranger bodily secretions - not to mention good old-fashioned urine. The gremlins in particular weren't too fussy about where they pissed. Urist McWingley wrinkled his nose and longed for a tall flagon of dwarven rum – the proper stuff that would strip the surface off your tongue and, hopefully, your sinuses. He wandered over to his locker to retrieve his battered platinum warhammer.



"Urist! C'mon!" barked Child Protective Services from over in the corner. "Huddle!"

Urist glanced over to where his fellow dwarf Leonard Lowpate stood, leaning on a shining blue sword as tall as himself, the point of which had already sunk a couple of inches into the stone floor. Urist shrugged. Leonard rolled his eyes and followed the hammerdwarf to the kobold's corner.



"Where Gnome Chance?" snapped Child Protective Services.

"gently caress if I know," said Leonard.

"Training armour use with Nemo2342, last I heard," supplied Urist.

Leonard grunted. "Why's she doing that? All she's got is a fuckin' copper cap. I know that because I have this image of an unclothed dark gnome of the female persuasion burnt forever into my retinas, and all the dwarven beer within three miles of this arena hasn't fuckin' dislodged it. And I know for a fact our new poo poo hasn't arrived yet. I checked with Construct on the way in."

"Not important!" growled the kobold. "Get her here! We fight in half hour!"

Urist cocked his head. "Actually, I think I hear our new gear arriving."

The slow pounding of colossal feet drew closer until the entire changing room reverberated. Then they stopped, and a huge bronze head peered over the walls at them.



Urist waved. "Yo, Construct."

The colossus nodded ponderously. "Good evening, Mister McWingley. The requested equipment upgrades for team Modern Family have been delivered." Two great bronze hands appeared over the wall holding a small wooden crate, which dropped to the floor with a resounding clatter.



"Alright!" barked Child Protective Services, rubbing his paws gleefully. "Now cooking with charcoal! Suit up!"

Urist knocked the lid off the crate with a clean blow of his hammer and peered inside. "Lotta the blue stuff here," he announced approvingly, handing a pair of adamantine high boots to Child Protective Services. The kobold sniffed them, stuck his feet into them and kicked the floor experimentally. "Yup yup," he said. "Gloves, boots, spear, good to go!"

"Gauntlets are mine," grunted Leonard, holding out a hand.

Urist passed them over. "Sold your steel ones, huh? Shame. Now your outfit doesn't match."

"I'll take not getting my fuckin' hands cut off over bein' a fashion model, if it's all the same to you." Leonard snapped down the visor of his helm, enclosing himself completely within his armour.

"Kidding, friend. I had the same thought – nearly." Urist lifted a pair of adamantine high boots out of the crate and tugged them on. "I still say you should get a mail shirt under that breastplate of yours, though. Extra protection." He thumped his own chest, which chinked dully, and picked up his oaken shield.



"Where drat gnome?" growled Child Protective Services impatiently.

"I believe you are talking about me," murmured Gnome Chance, strolling in, naked as always. Both dwarves shuddered and turned aside. "Oh, do stop with your faux sensibilities, dearies. The kobold has hardly more clothing than I, and you don't bat an eyelid."

"The kobold is covered in fuckin' fur," muttered Leonard.

"What was that, dear?"

"Nothin', ma'am."



Gnome Chance hopped into the wooden crate. "Don't you worry, boys." After a bit of rattling she skipped out again, clad in adamantine mail shirt and bronze boots and holding an adamantine pick, which she tossed in the air playfully.

"Keep that fuckin' thing away from me!" said Leonard, backing off.

Gnome Chance caught the pick easily and swung it a few times, getting the heft. "Oh, stop fretting, dear," she said. "This isn't for you."

Child Protective Services bared his teeth in a grin. "Lock and load!"



********************************

In the changing room across the corridor, lNTAC was retrieving his equipment from his locker. Or trying to. The drat thing was empty.

He turned to face the rest of his motley team. The two gremlins were sitting naked on top of the lockers, kicking their legs, while the goblin was lying on the bench under a blanket, dozing. "Oi!" said the serpent man. "Which of you basssstardssss hid my sssstuff?"



Fed After Midnight shrugged unconcernedly. "Not me. Mine's gone too!" he squeaked.

"Fukken right!" yelled Little Prick, jumping off the locker and landing on Gretchen's stomach before somersaulting to the floor. The goblin yelled and sat up, living up to her nickname by retching violently.

Little Prick punched her in the knee. "Oi, gobbo! You hid our fukken stuff?"

"Hid what?" Gretchen scowled at her teammates, wrapping the blanket around herself. "What'd you interrupt my meditation for?"

"We have no equipmentssss," explained the serpent man. "Methinkssss our dasssstardly opponentssss sssseek to ssssabotage ussss."



Gretchen flinched away from the fine mist of venom floating towards her. "Can you at least try and use sentences with fewer esses?"

The usual slow thudding heralded the approach of the bronze colossus who stewarded the arena. "We ask Construct," suggested Fed After Midnight. "If baddies taken our stuff, he mash ‘em into paste, no problem."

lNTAC nodded.



Construct peered over the wall at them. "Good evening. I have the requested equipment upgrades for team..." - it paused and consulted a label – "...Adamantine High Boots Steel Greaves Adamantine Cap Copper Cap Adamantine Mail Shirt Leather Armour Adamantine Dagger Adamantine Mail Shirt Adamantine Low Boots Adamantine Gauntlets Adamantine Low Boots Adamantine Cap. Rather a long team name, I must say."

The team stared open-mouthed as the colossus hefted a small adamantine box over the wall. It landed on the floor with a crash, leaving a visible crater in the stonework.



"What da fukken fuk?" said Little Prick, eventually.

lNTAC flipped the lid of the box open and stared down at the contents.



"Yup. Sssslade gauntletssss," he hissed. "What an Armok-damned cockup."

********************************


The fight went about as well as expected.






Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Little Prick, Gremlin Gladiator is throwing a tantrum!

Retchin' Gretchen ducked out of the way of a flying slade gauntlet as her teammate ran to and fro swearing incoherently and occasionally kicking a locker. Fed After Midnight, meanwhile, was hunched up in the corner, looking forlorn. lNTAC was nowhere to be seen, having wisely made himself scarce immediately after the team's resurrection.

She'd really thought the team could make the most of a ridiculously bad situation, but she hadn't banked on exactly how heavy the mythical mineral was. She kept getting flashbacks to her own glacially slow punches as she struggled to lift the drat things, while the enemy, decked out in far lighter steel, danced circles around her, breaking bones and severing limbs. The closest any of her teammates had come to inflicting actual harm had been lNTAC's desperate attempted bite – but even the serpent man's powerful fangs could hardly penetrate adamantine.

The only good thing you could say about the fight was that it had been short.

Little Prick finally knocked himself out by headbutting a wall, so Gretchen shoved him in a locker for safekeeping.

She grabbed her small sack of possessions and patted Fed After Midnight on the tiny shoulder in passing as she headed for the door. "Hey, second place isn't bad, either. Never thought we'd get this far, myself." The gremlin just nodded.

As Gretchen walked out of the changing rooms she collided with lNTAC. "Ow! drat it! There you are. Thought you'd gone home already."

The serpent man bared his fangs in an approximation of a smile. "You underesssstimate me. Get the otherssss."

Gretchen frowned. "You seem suspiciously cheerful. Where have you been?"

The heavy tread of a bronze colossus reverberated through the corridor as lNTAC replied. "Appealing to Queen Ssssankissss. Get a move on. The rematch issss in one hour."

"Fukken yes!" shouted a muffled voice from within one of the lockers.

Gretchen smiled slowly. "Nice work, lNTAC. Never occurred to me a dwarf would see reason, let alone a noble."

"Hey,what does lNTAC stand for, anyway?" Fed After Midnight piped up.

The serpent man sighed. "long Name To Annoy Commish, if you musssst know."

"Huh. Who's Commish?"

"Sssserpent god of short namessss and no-quarter combat." lNTAC shrugged. "Blame my dad. He wassss an atheisssst."

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
:siren: Test Tournament 2, GRAND FINAL: REMATCH :siren:
Brought to you by the INEFFABLE GRACE of her majesty QUEEN SANKIS, may she NEVER be cursed with SOBRIETY or NOLIO


Urist McWingley stepped out once again into the oppressive heat of the arena. The cheers of the crowd were muted today – some confusion apparently reigned regarding the circumstances of the hastily-arranged rematch. Urist was pretty confused himself, come to that. He stared across the arena floor at his opponents.



The oily black sheen of slade gauntlets was not in evidence this time. Indeed, the predominant colour on the opposing team was blue – adamantine mail shirts, caps, gauntlets, boots – far more than his own team had elected for. He felt a momentary twinge of uncertainty, but Gnome Chance twirled her pick next to him, completely relaxed, and he was reassured. Adamantine weapons were an even match for adamantine armour.

Across the ring, one of the tiny gremlins made an obscene gesture and grabbed his crotch. A piping cry was audible above the murmur of the crowd:

"Gonna cut yer fukken tonker off!"

Urist shuddered and lowered his visor.

From Queen Sankis' box, a horn blew to signal the start of the bout.

Both teams charged.



Every fighter in the arena was a seasoned veteran. Both Urist and his facing opponent – from close range, he recognised Fed After Midnight – slowed as they approached, looking for an opening, ready to dodge.

Suddenly feinting to Urist's left, Fed After Midnight aimed a vicious two-handed swipe of his short sword at Child Protective Services. The kobold narrowly jumped out of its path, and Urist was forced to manoeuvre around his captain, leaving him exposed in the midst of the melee. Not ideal – the lightly-armoured kobold could easily be killed by a single good hit.



Indeed, both the enemy serpent man – some strange name like INTAC? - and Little Prick aimed simultaneous blows at Child Protective Services, but the kobold sidestepped one and deftly parried the other with the butt of his spear.

Hoping to give his captain some space, Urist aimed a crushing blow of his warhammer at the Little Prick, who jumped back well out of reach.



More feinting, more dodging, more hunting for that crucial opening. Modern Family fought in grim silence apart from the undertone growls of the kobold. On Slade Gauntlets, the gremlins screeched threats and insults, and the serpent man hissed wordlessly with each swing of his silver warhammers.

Little Prick cackled at Urist and grabbed his crotch again. Urist took two threatening steps toward the gremlin, bringing up his shield to deflect the inevitable opportunistic blow. The thick, cross-grained oak wood could turn even adamantine aside.

On his rear flank, Child Protective Services stabbed his spear past the guard of Fed After Midnight, but was foiled by the gremlin's adamantine mail and received a couple of bruising blows to his arms in return for his pains. The kobold growled again in frustration.



Child Protective Services jumped out of the way as lNTAC charged, and kicked away a follow-up stab attempt from Fed After Midnight. Glancing behind him, Urist noted that lNTAC was now at a disadvantage, flanked by Child Protective Services and Gnome Chance.



A feint from Child Protective Services drove Fed After Midnight away from Urist, leaving him free to concentrate on crushing Little Prick into a well-deserved pulp.



Urist smiled behind his visor and hefted his warhammer for a swing. The momentary opening let the gremlin dodge in and swipe his dagger across Urist's abdomen. For a moment Urist thought the attack had been deflected, but then he felt the blood oozing – his opponent's adamantine weapon had sliced through his steel greaves as though they were made of putty. Snarling, Urist swung his hammer, but contacted only air as Little Prick sprang back out of reach. "Fukken close one! First blood to me!" cackled the gremlin.

The rest of the melee was a blur of clashing and shouting behind him now. He was going to kill this gremlin or die trying.

Little Prick feinted a stab high, and Urist raised his shield to block – realising too late that this opponent expected just this. Lightning-quick, the gremlin slipped under his shield and stabbed upwards into his shield arm, hard enough to lodge the dagger in it. Muscle fibres parted and Urist's shield dropped from his suddenly limp grasp.

"Second blood!" yelled the gremlin, withdrawing his dagger and dancing back. Urist staggered to the side, leaving his shield where it lay.



Little Prick danced around him, jumping onto the fallen shield and capering wildly. Urist aimed another hammer blow at him, but the gremlin was far too quick to catch. Off balance, with his left arm hanging limp, Urist was wide open to a counterattack. His opponent didn't miss the chance, but plunged his dagger deep into Urist's guts.

"Third blood!" he heard the gremlin shout, through a fog of nausea and pain.

"poo poo," mumbled Urist. He doubled up and passed out.



Unlike Urist McWingley, Retchin' Gretchen had had an excellent view of the entire melee from the south end of the arena as she attempted to tenderise Leonard Lowpate with her two silver warhammers. She was enjoying the opportunity to pit herself against one of the detestable subsurface scum, but so far his airtight tin-can armour was standing up to her assault. She thought she'd bruised him a few times, but she couldn't be sure.

She noted the other dwarf pitch over, leaking blood, and celebrated by hitting Leonard in the leg again. Her hammer bounced off the greaves, but the blow must have hurt a bit.

Up at the north end of the melee, Little Prick administered the coup-de-grace to Urist McWingley and hurled the severed head high into the air with a cry of triumph.



"Look behind you, dwarf," panted Gretchen. "It's four to three now. Ready to give up?"

Leonard risked a glance behind him, and was lucky that he did, as both Fed After Midnight and lNTAC were bearing down on him. He whirled around and aimed a fast – but misaimed - swing of his longsword at Fed After Midnight.

Gretchen stepped up to make the most of the distraction, but lNTAC, similarly armed with a pair of silver warhammers, was ahead of her and broke the dwarf's foot with a well-aimed strike. Leonard Lowpate staggered and fell.



Gretchen settled for breaking the dwarf's hand instead, while Fed After Midnight stabbed him deep in his uninjured leg. The three Slade Gauntlets hoped to finish the downed dwarf quickly before either Child Protective Services or the fearsome Gnome Chance – whose efforts thus far had been neutralised by solid defensive tactics - could get back into the melee.

"Could use some fuckin' help here!" gasped Leonard, crawling desperately towards Gnome Chance.



The dark gnome duly stepped up and whirled her pick, catching a surprised Fed After Midnight in the torso - but she was surprised in turn as her deadly weapon simply clattered off the gremlin's mail shirt. Fed After Midnight grinned and parried a follow-up strike from Leonard.



"Finissssh the dwarf," lNTAC commanded to Gretchen, and turned to focus on Child Protective Services, who was busy duelling Little Prick.

"Death is all around us, death is all arouuuund!" sang Fed After Midnight, slashing Leonard in the right arm. The dwarf groaned, let go of his sword, and passed out.

Gnome Chance screamed in frustration as another blow bounced of Fed After Midnight's armour, and attempted a shoulder charge against her smaller opponent. He jumped out of the way, leaving Gnome Chance to stand on Leonard's unconscious form, ready to defend it from all comers.



After a couple more futile blows against Fed After Midnight's impenetrable armour, Gnome Chance was forced to jump away from Retchin' Gretchen's hammer. Fed After Midnight immediately seized the opportunity to decapitate Leonard Lowpate, and Modern Family were suddenly outnumbered two to one.



In the adrenaline-fuelled slow time of the arena, all of this had taken place within a matter of seconds. Urist McWingley's head, flung by Little Prick, was still describing a lazy arc toward the southern wall of the arena.



Growing frustrated with Child Protective Services' continued defence, lNTAC charged at the kobold, who was bowled over but sprang straight back to his feet. The distraction did, however, prove sufficient for Little Prick to score a devastating stab in Child Protective Services' upper leg, right down to the bone. The kobold squealed and fell over again.



Little Prick cackled as he dodged the kobold's counterthrust, and lNTAC stepped in to break Child Protective Services' arm with his hammer, causing the kobold to pass out from pain.

The two Slade Gauntlets were merciless in finishing off the unconscious kobold, although it took five strikes to finally crush the hard little skull.

Victory looked assured for the Slade Gauntlets – provided they could overwhelm their final opponent.



"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, dears." Gnome Chance smiled at her opponents as they advanced cautiously, wary of the deadly pick. Fed After Midnight tried a quick swipe, but the gnome leapt back. "Well now, that was very rude," she said. "Rude little boys should be taught a lesson."

"Shut up and die!" piped Fed After Midnight.



Retchin' Gretchen was the first to make a move, feinting an attack and then charging at the gnome. Gnome Chance parried the attack but was bowled over and flung several yards by the much larger opponent. She leapt to her feet unhurt, still gripping her pick. "Now now, play fair!"



Gretchen stepped in again and the two exchanged blows and parries. Fed After Midnight tried to edge in for an attack, but Gnome Chance jumped out of the way to keep Gretchen between her and the sneaky gremlins. She looked utterly calm, but she was soon going to be backed into a corner if this continued.

Gretchen tried another swipe of one of her warhammers, but this time the dark gnome parried the blow and sank her pick into the goblin's ankle on the counterswing, severing her foot cleanly. Gretchen let out a yell and fell to the ground, blood gouting from the stump.

Gnome Chance smiled beatifically. "Who's next?"



Fed After Midnight was next, darting in for a fast attack and causing Gnome Chance to jump away once again.

"Sssstop playing her game, idiotssss! Mob her!" hissed lNTAC, stepping in and swinging his warhammer. Both the gremlins followed suit, and for the first time Gnome Chance looked uncertain. Her attempted parry went astray and lNTAC's warhammer impacted her leg with a sickening crunch. As she fell, Fed After Midnight stabbed her in the foot and Little Prick sliced off her left hand. She screamed.



She had one more chance for a swing at Little Prick, missing hopelessly, before Fed After Midnight stabbed her in the right hand and forced her to drop her pick. Gnome Chance screamed obscenities at her opponents as they hacked at her, then mercifully passed out just before her final decapitation by Little Prick.

lNTAC hissed his satisfaction and Little Prick raised the severed head aloft. Gretchen hauled herself into a sitting position with Fed After Midnight's help. All Slade Gauntlets All Day Long basked in the cheers of a bloodthirsty crowd, their honour restored, with no marks upon them save a single severed foot.



All Slade Gauntlets All Day Long win an utterly convincing victory over Modern Family, 4-0.

Kills: Little Prick 2, Fed After Midnight 1, lNTAC 1.

Combat Log

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Yeah, I don't think they went wrong with the tank build, just didn't have the points at the end to keep up with their opponents' weapons. The gremlins on the other hand were all able to invest in adamantine mail shirts and it REALLY paid off.

Out of interest Segway, why was it hard to read? Writing things so that people can understand them is pretty much my day job, so I'm always interested in feedback!

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Spermy Smurf posted:

His team lost or his betting team lost.

Derp, of course, never mind.

Thanks for all the positive feedback everyone - the whole thing took a loving age.

I guess it's now open season on discussion of what tweaks to make for the next tournament? Although I think there's already some consensus on that, at least among the commissioners.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Jazzimus Prime posted:

I've done some preliminary changes to point awards and costs, much of which is based on my dad's suggestions, which you can see here:

http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_races.php?1

http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_items.php?1

http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_skills.php?1

http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_item_costs_by_race.php?1

http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_skills_by_race.php?1


To summarize: points awarded are more normalized (gremlins get about 2x what a yeti gets rather than 3x), weapons are a whole lot more expensive, bow/crossbow/archery skills are much cheaper, shield skills are cheaper, striking penalties and armor cost penalties for large races have been massively reduced, and there is now a small point bonus per round for participating (i.e. just visiting the website once each round while logged in).

There will be some mods to the base game that will be changed, but I'm waiting for 40.14 (which is supposed to be out tomorrow) before starting on that.


I don't know if it's possible to mod in armor for a molemarian's tail.

Sounds good. I guess the size standardisation will be part of the mods too.

I have a feeling that the continual "x stands up" one frame after getting bowled over has to be a bug, and may be a major reason behind the current relative ineffectiveness of large fighters.

I want to do some testing and raw digging of my own, and while I don't think we need another test tournament I do think that thorough general testing of the proposed final mods should be done, so we'll want a delay of reasonable length to make sure everyone's satisfied before the main tourney begins. In particular, my dad was saying he had some game-breaking build in mind which I'm hoping we can nerf before we start a months-long megatournament :P

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Bad Munki posted:

Whatever order the macros would spit them out in, just wind around the perimeter/four sides. Shouldn't matter where you start the winding, assuming the arena has been balanced vertically the same way it was horizontally.

Alternately: just drop them all four in a 2x2 wad in the middle of the arena, gently caress 'em, we don't have any archers.

Or all on the same tile.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

VladTheEater posted:

Isn't this something we would HAVE to do to set up our fighters, though?

Depends on the tournament structure. During the group stages of the last test tournament, nobody got any extra points for the first three rounds while each group played their round robin.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Spermy Smurf posted:

:siren: Jazz didn't do this so I will :siren:

Waiting for fighters to be updated.
Ramc
Tunicate
Maarak
Silverminnow



I am terrified of effort-posts that are going to be expected. I am unfunny, and rarely have good ideas for stuff like this. You may all be very disappointed. But at least the fights get run quickly, right?


Don't sweat it dude, you're a hero.

Just make Jazz run the final if you're certain you can't do it justice.

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Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Legless Greenleaf will effortlessly pick off his opponents with his supreme drunken archery skills.

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