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mr. mephistopheles posted:As a 25 year old male, I would say like 90% of the women that I know say they don't want kids. It's depressing, really, because I hang out with mostly very intelligent women, and that other 10% that want to just pump babies out like they're some sort of fetus factory are pretty much all dumb as hell. Sometimes more intelligent women have better things to do than have kids. Beep Street posted:Wouldn't happen. When you give birth a shitload of hormones are released that make you love the baby. I know this as I have a twin and felt when she gave birth. It is the purest, warmest, loveliest feeling I've ever felt in my life. See that feeling you get when you see cute kittens? Multiply that by a million and you're not even close. I do not want children myself but I know if I ever had one I'd love the hell out of it because that is how nature works. ...unless you end up with postpartum depression, then you just drown 'em in the bathtub.
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Jul 29, 2011 15:33
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Honestly, the happiest marriages that I grew up observing (and ended up basing my "successful loving relationship" models on) were ones with no children. Aunts and uncles, childhood caretakers, and longtime family friends that stayed married for decades and chose to focus on their careers, travel, or each other. I saw more adoration and less bitterness and nitpicking with these couples than I did in married couples with children - it seemed that they were constantly focusing on Mom or Dad's shortcomings with the children, or the kids' shortcomings themselves, more than enjoying their families. If your boyfriend sees his life plans involving children, then it's really not fair to either of you to wait it out and expect the other to change. See what his real feelings are on the subject (drag it out of him if you have to) and then move on if they are incompatible with yours. It's like those girls who end up with those guys that think "Oh, marriage is just a piece of paper and a shiny rock, I never want to get married" and end up crying five years later because all of their friends are married and he won't even discuss it...just work it out early on and decide whether or not your future plans mesh, stop wasting one another's time. PS, guys don't really have "more options" as they get older. If you've ever seen the creepy forty year old men hanging out in college bars and getting hilariously rejected, then you'd know that. (Meanwhile, the older women are trawling the frat boys like they were 18 year old hardbodies.)
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Jul 29, 2011 19:09
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Vashro posted:Honestly, the path to relating/liking kids starts with getting the gently caress over yourself, which is hard to do when you're in your 20s, freshly independent, etc. I'm not even talking about having kids, but the way some of the people in this thread discuss their hatred of kids is just a me-me-me sandwich slathered in idungivafukboutchu. To be fair, I have yet to hear any reasoning for having children that isn't "me-me-me-I-want-this-thing-that-looks-like-me" either, though...it's not like anybody needs them to help out on the farm anymore. On the sterilization front, I have had more than one medical professional inform me that the chances of carrying a baby to term and having both of us survive the ordeal is slim-to-none. I've seen over a dozen doctors about getting a Yoon ring or Essure procedure, which my insurance covers, and the most I've gotten out of it is a Mirena and a "We'll talk when you're 30." My boyfriend (27) is concerned about this and has started looking into a vasectomy. The first doctor he spoke to offered to book him for the procedure in a week and even jokingly called him a "player."
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Jul 29, 2011 21:44
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Vulvarine posted:but I've never seen a parent be like doop-dee-doop-dee-doo when their baby is screaming their head off; they might have given up, but the sound is still very taxing. I lived under these parents for a year; their baby would scream for hours and hours on end. When you can hear every footstep from the apartment above you, you catch on quick that either nobody is home or they are just allowing their baby to scream horribly for 6-8 hours at a time, every night. Is this biologically hardwired, too?
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Aug 1, 2011 20:22
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