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Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

Updates listed at end of this post!



I've always been a Jeep guy, since the first time I drove a Willys on my uncle's farm, to buying my first 84 Cherokee, to the current 99 XJ I have now. Always loved them for their off-road and poor weather capability, as well as the visibility being a touch higher up gave me.


Driving up to the mountains of Colorado to take photographs or just get myself lost in the abandoned ghost towns has been a long-time hobby of mine, and a rewarding one at that.


There comes a point however, when you realize you've out-grown something, and I've been hitting that point lately with my beloved Cherokee. It's layout is dated, the cargo capacity is a touch too small for my needs, and the rear bench seat, while nice to have in a pinch, simply isn't comfortable for passangers. The fact that its a non-split bench means if I want to put anything large into it, I have to make sure I don't bring any one in the back seat, or I have to chose which is going home, the person or the thing we're moving.



I'm also at a point with my current Jeep where I'm reaching the limits of it's stock off-road capability. If I want to modify it further to make it more capable off-road, I'll detract from it's ability as an around-town car.

So, after talking with friends, family, and coworkers, I decided to look for a practical solution. They were rather surprised when I announced I was buying a Volvo. After all, I've never displayed any tendencies towards a nondescript Sedan or Wagon before - Although Volvos do tend to be a bit boxy, and as a Cherokee fan, I am drawn to that.

It took awhile of searching to find just the right one at a price I could afford - a good Volvo is not, by any means, Cheap, but was happily surprised to find one in good shape and withing my budget.

I called up a friend of mine, and sent her some photos to see if she thought it would be a good fit for me - after all, she was most critical of my decision to buy a Volvo, after all of the various 4x4's I've owned.

her response?



"WHAT THE CHRIST?!"


Yeah.

gently caress practical.


Ladies and Gents, let me introduce you to the Volvo C304 TGB 11-13, Formerly of the Swedish military.



Six wheel drive, Portal axles, each with it's own independantly locking differential, and seating for seven,


plus a boatload of cargo space.


Axe comes standard in the finest of scandinavian tradition!

just short of 18 feet long, standing just over 90" tall with about 20" of ground clearance, this should sate my desire for more off-road capability for quite some time to come. I sure hope.

Calling the gentleman who had it listed for sale, I discovered that while it ran, the clutch was slipping and there were signs of smoke from the aging 3.0 Liter B30A straight-six engine. I then learned that he wasn't the owner, but rather the previous owner who had sold it to his friend. I also learned it had been sitting at a downhill incline for three years, causing the rear main seal to likely dry out and leak, while the owner, one Baron Margo (A sculptor and local eccentric/mad genius) tried to figure out what to do with it, eventually deciding he didn't want it anymore as he couldn't convert it into a god damned Rocket Car.


Yeah. That's him.

After doing a considerable bit of research, I decided to spring for it. The price he was offering was just way too good, and the rest of the vehicle appeared mechanically sound. Cash sent and Title in hand, I then had to look around for someone to ship the god damned thing. I got a lot of quotes for way too little money ($900 bucks sounds great but is entirely unrealistic, and my suspicions were confirmed when I called them back and they said they had room on a car carrier. "Wait, 90 inches tall? I thought that was a typo!")

Eventually I found someone who was intrigued by the idea and the photo I sent along, and, after convincing him it only weighed 6,400 pounds, and him convincing me he had the right DOT licensing, registration and load insurance, I gave a call to the seller, who arranged pickup with the shipper. Baron decided to show up in one of his other rocket car creations, mainly to ask if the driver had seen him in his rocket-car.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

And thus, up onto the trailer she went.


The driver and myself both agreed the little dune buggy needed to be shoved into the back of the Volvo as an escape pod

Two days later, it was here.



That's a Suzuki SX-4, for comparison

After paying the driver, and having him regale me with stories about everyone taking photos and his CB lit up the entire way with other truckers asking what the gently caress it was, He headed back out with his much reduced load to points unknown, leaving me with this beast parked in front and neighbors calling their children inside.

What the christ have I done

NEXT CHAPTER:

Deconstruction I: Baron's Solid Aluminum Steering Wheel of Pain and Remorse.



PART TWO: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...2#post394495289
PART THREE: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...3#post394601538
PART FOUR: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...4#post395153338
PART FIVE: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...7#post400146732

Doccers fucked around with this message at Feb 1, 2012 around 01:15

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dietcokefiend
Apr 28, 2004
HEY ILL HAV 2 TXT U L8TR I JUST DROVE IN 2 A DAYCARE AND SCRATCHED MY RAZR

You are living my god damned loving dream

So I might have missed it but what was the selling price if you don't mind me asking?

bolind
Jun 19, 2005



Saw the thread title, the low reply count, and thought: "Oh, some poor sap bought a bone stock V40 and ventured into SA. Better give him a pity click."

Was pleasantly surprised.

What do you do when you need parts for a beast like that? Is it road legal? Insurable? What year is it?

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

bolind posted:

Saw the thread title, the low reply count, and thought: "Oh, some poor sap bought a bone stock V40 and ventured into SA. Better give him a pity click."

Was pleasantly surprised.

What do you do when you need parts for a beast like that? Is it road legal? Insurable? What year is it?

Parts is.. in an interesting state right now.

On the plus side, the engine is a standard B-30A, out of their sedans and wagons of the time period. Good engine by most accounts, and parts are rather available in the US for it.

The rest of the drivetrain and axles? not so much.

The seals for the outer portal ends are just gone, there aren't any more to be had. Supposedly you can make your own, but I'm holding off on trying that because,

http://tatanka.nu/About_us.asp

A private company up in sweden just purchased the rights to the entire TGB series from Volvo, including all of the plans, and contractor information, and has pledged to start producing parts that haven't been in-stock for half a decade now.

Apart from the Delorean, I can't recall any other time the rights to a vehicle have been bought out by a small company like that.


It is road legal, and was registered as a passanger vehicle in california.

Insurance was a lot easier than I expected, I think I annoyed the geico rep by continously asking him if he was sure geico would insure it, after he'd told me yes half a dozen times. Got the paperwork already, everything's set there.

It's a 1975.

Normaly the C303's (the 4wd versions) go for around $16,000 to $18,000, the C-304's seem to start at around $24,000 on up.

I picked this up for $13,000 due to the engine and some other issue's I'll be getting to later on, and then $2500 to ship it up here.

I'm currently working on it as I can after work, and trying to find compatible parts is proving to be a challenge in some areas. I'll be posting weekly updates if I can.


Oh, PS: Taking suggestions for custom license plates.

Doccers fucked around with this message at Aug 2, 2011 around 07:29

Geirskogul
Jan 15, 2011

Time for the night shift.

Doccers posted:

Oh, PS: Taking suggestions for custom license plates.


Standard 7-character limit? Too bad NOTASUV is taken. What about APCLYPS, TRUMETL, MYVOLVO, SAFECAR, TRNSPRT, 6x6, 3 DIFS, BURNING, FOSLFUL, ARMORED?




I suck at vanity license plates. I used to have things like 124C41 and TIEFITR

Geirskogul fucked around with this message at Aug 2, 2011 around 08:19

Sir Winston Beehill
Apr 8, 2009


That looks like so much fun, dunno how difficult it would be to drive around town in but it will certainly have presence. Fit chunkier off-road tyres and leave at the license plate at VOLVO. Or 3VOM.

Got any more info on that rocket-car as well?

bolind
Jun 19, 2005



Awesome!

PORTALS
6PORTAL
NOTAMOG
MEATBLS
6X6BRIK
IKEA6X6

Sounds really interesting with those swedish blokes taking over support for everything. I'm danish, if you need anything swedish translated, I'll give it a shot.

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I want to believe


LAPLNDR

This should be an interesting thread, looking forward to seeing the technical gubbins.

Babunar
Sep 15, 2009


This thread was a pleasant surprise! That is metal as hell...

awesome-express
Dec 30, 2008


Sorry for going off topic OP

bolind posted:

Saw the thread title, the low reply count, and thought: "Oh, some poor sap bought a bone stock V40 and ventured into SA. Better give him a pity click."

My Dad just sold his WJ Jeep and bought a V40 diesel wagon, what's wrong with them?

ExplodingSims
Aug 17, 2010


Dear Lord, came to this thread expecting a station wagon, left seeing the true spirit of AI.

Also, your neighbors most either really hate you for that, or think that you are the coolest guy ever.

SwashedBuckles
Aug 10, 2007

Have at you!

Absolutely amazing. Please take a bunch of photos of the work you do on it, because that's probably the closest I'll ever get to seeing one of these in person. Hat's off to you

stevobob
Nov 16, 2008

Alchemy - the study of how to turn LS1's into a 20B.


This was not what I expected from the thread title either. I hope you do insane things with this rig.

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I want to believe


awesome-express posted:

My Dad just sold his WJ Jeep and bought a V40 diesel wagon, what's wrong with them?
He'll really get hung up on the trails, for starters.

Vladimir Putin
Mar 17, 2007
Pardon me sir, would you like to have some Polonium ?

Why are you parking it on the street? Oh let me guess, it doesn't fit in your garage?

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

Vladimir Putin posted:

Why are you parking it on the street? Oh let me guess, it doesn't fit in your garage?

I'm fortunate enough to have two garages, but also two roommates.

It won't fit in the small garage, just no way in hell. The other garage I have is a massive detached two car+ shop garage, where I normally park my Jeep and my roommate parks her new Subaru (and I keep the machine shop in the back, Bridgeport series 1, 36" metal lathe, other various tools and sundry).

I was going to pull the Jeep out to store it, but the day after the Volvo arrived, the other roommate brought home her own project, which really should be stored in a garage and not outside for right now:



Literally "Sitting forgotten in a barn for 20 years".

Yeah, this will likely get a thread of its own later on.

It SHOULD fit - just BARELY - into the large garage when I need to do serious work, though I may need to get a second set of wheels and smaller tires for it to more comfortably do so. As it uses standard Volvo truck wheels (8 bolt pattern) I figure I should be able to buy some used truck street tires for it pretty cheap. I'm not going to be driving on them - with the gearing, I need the 38" Michelins in order to hit 60 mph. The stock 35's would only get up to 49 or so.

Vladimir Putin
Mar 17, 2007
Pardon me sir, would you like to have some Polonium ?

Do you live in a car lover's commune or something?

LloydDobler
Oct 15, 2005
You must think I'm a dick.

BRICKEST

It is the brickest brick ever. Unless you're sticking with a military theme, you need to paint it brick red. Or maybe even put mortar lines on it so it looks like it's made of bricks.

I would love to see you put a modern Volvo twin cam straight 6 in it, but I'm not sure if that makes sense. The old iron 6 should last forever anyway.

You're insane, can't wait to see it.

bolind
Jun 19, 2005



awesome-express posted:

My Dad just sold his WJ Jeep and bought a V40 diesel wagon, what's wrong with them?

Oh, probably nothing, it was just the least interesting Volvo I could come up with at 6 am. My Dad is on his fifth Volvo, coincidentally, and over all it's my impression that they're good cars, both before and after Ford got involved.

But back on track. Sounds like a good idea with smaller wheels for working on it, there should be quite a few inches to be had there, that's for sure.

Do you have any specs as to what it'll theoretically do? Approach angle, max climb angle, max sideways sloping angle etc.?

Sponge!
Dec 22, 2004

SPORK!


Vladimir Putin posted:

Do you live in a car lover's commune or something?

We need to start a church, and buy some land out in New Mexico. Maybe something with a boneyard.

rscott
Dec 10, 2009


This. This is the reason I read AI. Hats off to you, this should be awesome!

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

LloydDobler posted:

BRICKEST

It is the brickest brick ever. Unless you're sticking with a military theme, you need to paint it brick red. Or maybe even put mortar lines on it so it looks like it's made of bricks.

I would love to see you put a modern Volvo twin cam straight 6 in it, but I'm not sure if that makes sense. The old iron 6 should last forever anyway.

You're insane, can't wait to see it.

One of my roommates works for Lego. I want to put eight little circles on top and paint it all blue. :3

The one thing I don't want to do is over-power it. The entire drivetrain was designed around a 120 HP engine pushing out a reasonable amount of torque. More than that and I risk breaking things in the drivetrain, and drivetrain spares are... difficult to get right now.

Next year I am thinking of starting a diesel swap with a later series Mercedes OM-617 engine, which puts out very similar numbers, is known to be absolutely murder-proof reliability wise, and is a diesel, which should net me a decent gain in fuel efficiency (and lets face it, converting this to run biodiesel and putting a big save the earth sticker on the back advertising that will be pretty goddamned funny).

I'm a bit of a gearhead, my other roommate is also a gearhead (She's going to school for mechanical engineering up at CU Boulder right now) with a penchant for collecting vehicles and making them run. She currently has a car (Suzuki SX4), a truck (mazda B2200), two motorcycles, (Kawasaki Concourse and a KLR) and now the Opal. She sold her 81 VW Rabbit with Scirrocco(sp) engine and sports suspension to a friend, and her 91 Cherokee to another friend, to make room for what she has now. I only have my Jeep and the Volvo, and the other roommate only has the subaru.

We want to make sure we don't become "THAT HOUSE" with cars all over the place - our neighbors across the street are currently worse (a CJ, 3 sports cars, an 80's Blazer, a full size pickup truck, a bunch of bikes, etc etc), but it's not "CARS EVERYWHERE" yet, just... crowded, nothing looks anywhere remotely like a junkyard and we both aim to keep it that way. I'll soon have the volvo up off the street and parked with an RV cover on it, but more on that later.

Seat Safety Switch
May 27, 2008

Ask me about my slow EJ25.

Sponge! posted:

We need to start a church, and buy some land out in New Mexico. Maybe something with a boneyard.
After someone brings a Fiat X1/9 you can all commit ritual suicide!

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

ExplodingSims posted:

Dear Lord, came to this thread expecting a station wagon, left seeing the true spirit of AI.

Also, your neighbors most either really hate you for that, or think that you are the coolest guy ever.

My neighbors across the street haven't talked to me yet since I got it, but we usually don't talk anyways. The neighbors to the side of me came out to ask what it was, and I've had 5 or 6 people literally stop as they drive by and roll down the window to ask about it, usually "...Where do you get something like that?" - an animal control officer stopped for about 10 minutes trying to figure out where she could grab one.

A couple of young guys in an FJ cruiser stopped, rolled down the window, gave me a thumbs up and shouted "AWESOME!" and then continued driving - to the annoyance of the soccer mom behind them who also had to stop.
I'm sure it's going to be pure chaos once I get it actually running and driving down the street. I'm going to need to learn to drive very slowly and defensively because people won't be paying attention to things around them, they'll be paying attention to me - That's something I've been told to expect from other people who drive things like this (Pinzgauer 712's, Unimogs, etc)

\/\/\/ No. I'll be getting to this a bit more later on, but the paint appears to be latex house paint, and it only goes up the sides - Baron wasn't able to reach the roof, so the roof is the previous Tan color, and has a few chips and small rust spots. I've already got a plan for the paint and exterior.

Doccers fucked around with this message at Aug 2, 2011 around 16:52

Shaocaholica
Oct 29, 2002

Fig. 5E


So are you going to leave it that color?

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I want to believe


Also, I'd suggest you invest in a winch, as when you get stuck, there's now a good chance it'll be pretty far out of reach of any of your friends' trucks.

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

InitialDave posted:

Also, I'd suggest you invest in a winch, as when you get stuck, there's now a good chance it'll be pretty far out of reach of any of your friends' trucks.

has an output for a PTO winch (I'm trying to track down an original one), and I'm going to be installing a 12,000 pound electric winch up front and a 9,000 pound winch in the rear, both on custom bumpers. But that's going to be pretty far down the road, this project is going to take me months if not a year or more.

Bitcoin Billionaire
Mar 10, 2007


Doccers posted:



keykey
Mar 28, 2003


I think Baron Margo needs an account here since he truly embraces the spirit of AI. OP, you need to send him a link to this subforum post haste!


edit: vvvvv He's flicking cigarettes at us.

keykey fucked around with this message at Aug 2, 2011 around 19:30

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

keykey posted:

I think Baron Margo needs an account here since he truly embraces the spirit of AI. OP, you need to send him a link to this subforum post haste!

Sadly he represents the spirit of AI a little too well: He does not have internet access.

LobsterboyX
Jun 27, 2003
I want to eat my chicken.

Wait a minute, are you in los angeles?

ive seen those rocket cars before....

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

LobsterboyX posted:

Wait a minute, are you in los angeles?

ive seen those rocket cars before....

I'm up in Colorado, but yes it was purchased from LA, Where Baron Margo lives. He made the rocket cars, and was going to try and do something similar to the Volvo I believe, however he decided not to, I don't know why. I'm asking the gentleman who handled the sale if it's ok to post his contact info in here, as he also is interested in selling some of Baron's custom work.

Shaocaholica
Oct 29, 2002

Fig. 5E


Hey there TFR buddy. Any goon TFR meets up in Colorado?

LobsterboyX
Jun 27, 2003
I want to eat my chicken.

HAH - thats really awesome, i know exactly where baron lives then, i used to see your truck weekly, i had a friend who lived up the street from him. he lives near one of the steepest hills in los angeles, no wonder the front axel is dry.

search youtube for him, in one video you can plainly see your truck sitting in front of his house.

baron comes to bobs big boy, a local diner, every friday for a cruise night. he has been the talk of the place for years, because when he shows up, he does a quick roll thru, stops for only a brief minute, then continues on when everyone asks him what the hell it is or how its made.

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

LobsterboyX posted:

HAH - thats really awesome, i know exactly where baron lives then, i used to see your truck weekly, i had a friend who lived up the street from him. he lives near one of the steepest hills in los angeles, no wonder the front axel is dry.

search youtube for him, in one video you can plainly see your truck sitting in front of his house.

baron comes to bobs big boy, a local diner, every friday for a cruise night. he has been the talk of the place for years, because when he shows up, he does a quick roll thru, stops for only a brief minute, then continues on when everyone asks him what the hell it is or how its made.

Yep. It's also on street view still!

Fermunky
May 30, 2003

The monkey is NOT impressed...

That is truly an awesome vehicle. You said you convinced the shipper it only weighed 6400 lbs. Was that accurate or does it weigh more? And if I ever wanted roommates again, they'd have to be like yours. That Opel is pretty cool.

Doccers
Aug 15, 2001


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

Fermunky posted:

That is truly an awesome vehicle. You said you convinced the shipper it only weighed 6400 lbs. Was that accurate or does it weigh more? And if I ever wanted roommates again, they'd have to be like yours. That Opel is pretty cool.

That's what it weighs. Looking at the photos it looks like it should weigh a hell of a lot more than it actually does. The Shipper used to haul large wheeled vehicles for mines and so on that look a bit like that, and those used solid tires instead of pneumatic ones like normal cars do, which ads a TON of weight, too, so he assumed they were solid. (they're not)

Ether Frenzy
Dec 22, 2006



Possibly the greatest first page for an AI thread ever. Stealth Volvo military monster AND a barn find Opel GT??

Knew the secret thanks to the Volvo thread, but keep up the great work Doccers.

Red_October_7000
Jun 22, 2009


For inexplicable reasons I love oversize military 6x6 and 8x8 trucks, especially obscure European ones, so this thing is awesome to me. Is it as painfully slow as I imagine it to be, with only 125 HP pushing it around? Still looks like a blast to drive! Also, I must ask, do people give way more readily when you drive something like this?

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Aureus
Nov 20, 2006



Expected boxy, got boxy and an additional dose of crazy plus the knowledge that there does exist a car lovers Xanadu. loving awesome.

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