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Frionnel
May 7, 2010

Friends are what make testing worth it.

sniper4625 posted:

(Please do glorious Japan everyone loves Japan)

No only you do you silly person! It needs to be Korea or Nepal.

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farraday
Jan 10, 2007

Lower those eyebrows, young man. And the other one.

Frionnel posted:

No only you do you silly person! It needs to be Korea or Nepal.

Ryukyu or bust.

theblastizard
Nov 5, 2009

farraday posted:

Ryukyu or bust.

Ryukyu is fun if you don't mind not being Ryukyu.

Also the Mongol Khanate.

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

theblastizard posted:

Ryukyu is fun if you don't mind not being Ryukyu.

Also the Mongol Khanate.

Mongol Khanate is a great faction to play, at least pre-DW. Ally with Japan and conquer Oirate Horde, Manchu, and korea. Westernizaton is overpowered so use that to defeat Ming. I westernized once and was able to completely outclass Ming. Conquered all of China then went for Japan but time ran out. I am a slow player.

Frionnel
May 7, 2010

Friends are what make testing worth it.

farraday posted:

Ryukyu or bust.

Ok then. Khmer.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


Brunei is actually a drat good SE Asia country to play as.

BlackJosh
Sep 25, 2007

ZearothK posted:

Brunei is actually a drat good SE Asia country to play as.

I was just thinking how cool a Brunei/ SE asian island islamic nation could be

Wiz
May 16, 2004

Nap Ghost


Chapter 11: The Brave Die Young (1280 - 1290)

Fresh troops are sent to Al Alamayn and the English army is thrown back into the sea.


A second attack by a Venetian army is also repulsed, the Crusaders retreating each time despite only small losses.


Armenia seizes the opportunity to declare war over their claim to Beirut, sending an army to occupy the province.



Taking advantage of a momentary lull in Crusader attacks, Tanrivermis sends an army of 5000 men across the Mediterranean to strike back at the Armenians. The army lands at Seleukeia, capturing and sacking its port.


With the Armenian armies in Beirut and Ascalon, the army advances unopposed through Armenia, leaving a trail of looting and destruction its wake, before finally reaching the capital of Ankyra.


With his lands burning and his capital in enemy hands, King Prokopios has little choice but to accept peace, giving up his claims to Beirut and withdrawing his armies.


Another wave of English crusaders is defeated in 1282, but Tanrivermis is in no shape to celebrate. The old arrow wound in his chest has become infected and his health has been steadily declining ever since.



He lives just long enough to see his eldest son come of age in 1283. Cagri Ildeguzid is cruel, reckless and energetic - yet another Ildeguzid molded in the image of Ertan. He has inherited none of his father's strategic genius, being skilled in personal combat but lacking any understanding of battlefield tactics.



Tanvermis passes away in June. For driving out the Christians and defending Alexandria against the whole might of Christedom, he is declared a true son of Islam by the Ulema of Egypt, and rites of mourning are held in mosques across the realm.


While Cagri inherits Egypt and Azerbaijan, his younger son Nasir gets the title Sultan of Persia and the Ildeguzid holdings outside Egypt - namely Dihistan, Beirut and Ascalon.


Cagri sets about arranging his own marriage, marrying the daughter of the Ayyubid Sultan and thus gaining a claim to the throne of Egypt.


The Fifth Crusade finally ends in the same year, as the King of England becomes embroiled in war against the French Dukes and refuses to send any more armies to Egypt.



With England having given up, peace is quickly concluded with the minor kings with whom Cagri is still at war.


As peace finally returns to Egypt and commerce with Europe returns to normal, some interesting news arrive along with the merchants. The first is that Byzantium, after a century of stability and prosperity, is being wracked with civil war as the Greek Princes are rising up against the Bulgar Hriz dynasty.


The second is that a Sami King now rules Sweden, though Cagri does not understand why he should care about this.


The peace does not last long. Free from outside threats for the moment, Cagri decides to pursue his claim to the throne of Egypt, declaring war on his Ayyubid father-in-law in 1285.


Despite being outnumbered two to one, the Ayyubids put up a brave defense and Cagri is badly wounded while leading his men in the final charge.



Wounded or no, there is only one way such an uneven battle can end.



Cagri's reign over Egypt is short-lived, as he becomes feverish and ill from his injuries, passing away in a matter of days.



His brother Nasir inherits everything, making him Sultan of Azerbaijan, Persia and Egypt, though the first two remain little more than symbolic titles. He has already fought a one-sided war with the Il-Khanate that resulted in Dihistan being lost to him, and he is hungry for revenge. Lustful, Vengeful, Proud and Arbitrary, he is an angry and undiplomatic man, but he unlike his brother he has a sound grasp of tactics.


Lacking the administrative capabilities of his father, he sents about distributing land to loyal members of his family.




His chance for vengeance and the retaking of his rightful lands seems to finally come, as the Khan passes away and the throne falls to a blind, crazed man who is little more than a pawn to his powerful advisors.


The final puzzle piece for the reconquest of Azerbaijan falls into place as he secures an alliance with his cousin in Syria.


The il-Khanate is still mighty, but with the power of the entire Ildeguzid dynasty at his back, the time is finally right to strike.

The time has come to return home.




Wiz fucked around with this message at 19:33 on Oct 7, 2011

babypolis
Nov 4, 2009

I find it funny that the rulers of rich and properous egypt dream of retaking poo poo poor Azerbaijan

Wiz
May 16, 2004

Nap Ghost

niggapolis posted:

I find it funny that the rulers of rich and properous egypt dream of retaking poo poo poor Azerbaijan

... and Persia.

sniper4625
Sep 26, 2009

Loyal to the hEnd

niggapolis posted:

I find it funny that the rulers of rich and properous egypt dream of retaking poo poo poor Azerbaijan

Never underestimate the power of revanchism.

Servetus
Apr 1, 2010
Alas for Tanrivermis, our Sultan never did reclaim his birthright, dying in exile. With the grace of Allah Nasir will regain the throne of his ancestors; may he father many sons to inherit his crowns.

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?
:ohdear: This is so exciting. I love your writing style, Wiz.

Orv
May 4, 2011
Wiz: Making You Feel Bad At Paradox Games, All Day Every Day.

drat. Excellent stuff, Wiz.

Orv fucked around with this message at 00:57 on Aug 15, 2011

nimby
Nov 4, 2009

The pinnacle of cloud computing.





Keep this guy around someplace, I just know he'll live along, unhealthy and insane life.

thark
Mar 3, 2008

bork

Wiz posted:

The second is that a Sami King now rules Sweden, though Cagri does not understand why he should care about this.


OK, I realize this is just a case of a son taking on his mother's culture, but you are now charged with keeping track of whether his descendants stay Sami.

Stretch Marx
Apr 29, 2008

I'm ok with this.
What I find most amazing is that England is still around. Almost every game of CK I've played, England always splinters and then gets swallowed by whichever random King the dukes decide is kosher that season.

Dibujante
Jul 27, 2004

niggapolis posted:

I find it funny that the rulers of rich and properous egypt dream of retaking poo poo poor Azerbaijan
An Egypt LP is also very cool; maybe it's time to give up the old claim.

KnoxZone
Jan 27, 2007

If I die before I Wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Today we have vanquished the last of the infidel invaders. Tomorrow we shall reclaim our ancient homeland from the demons that infest it. I can only see bigger and better things to come for our brave nation.

Frionnel
May 7, 2010

Friends are what make testing worth it.
drat, Syria is looking very powerful now. If the Il-Khanate had advanced a little farther to the west, they would've hosed.

Also, is Sardinia part of Naples or Aragon? drat CK and it's limited palette.

Wiz
May 16, 2004

Nap Ghost

Dibujante posted:

An Egypt LP is also very cool; maybe it's time to give up the old claim.

The only problem with this is that well, look at the thread title.

Wiz
May 16, 2004

Nap Ghost

Frionnel posted:

drat, Syria is looking very powerful now. If the Il-Khanate had advanced a little farther to the west, they would've hosed.

Also, is Sardinia part of Naples or Aragon? drat CK and it's limited palette.

Naples.

Terrifying Effigies
Oct 22, 2008

Problems look mighty small from 150 miles up.

At this rate the Middle East is going to turn out roughly like real life, but with an Azeri rather than Ottoman Empire.

Wiz
May 16, 2004

Nap Ghost
So uh, haven't seen this one before.

Gorgo Primus
Mar 29, 2009

We shall forge the most progressive republic ever known to man!
The none are a proud people with a rich history of doing nothing. Shame we didn't choose to LP as them.

Frionnel
May 7, 2010

Friends are what make testing worth it.
Please port this to EU3 :allears:

nimby
Nov 4, 2009

The pinnacle of cloud computing.



Gorgo Primus posted:

The none are a proud people with a rich history of doing nothing. Shame we didn't choose to LP as them.

Not a lot would've happened though, so I doubt it'd have been an interesting LP. The none don't even bother naming their children, why should they care about wars, wealth or religion?

Dibujante
Jul 27, 2004

Wiz posted:

So uh, haven't seen this one before.



He has the fewest traits that I think you can even have.

Atsushogob
Oct 7, 2008

Wiz posted:

So uh, haven't seen this one before.



They don't consider him a person or even an adult, no wonder he's very disloyal :(

Reveilled
Apr 19, 2007

Take up your rifles

Wiz posted:

So uh, haven't seen this one before.



Save edit that guy into your court, and make sure his unnamed kids get converted to islam and made Emirs of Nowhere

Dr. Tough
Oct 22, 2007

I like that the MO of this dynasty is kill off all the young men in it's lands with countless wars. Then when they run out, move to a new area and repeat.

Viola the Mad
Feb 13, 2010
Oh boy oh boy oh boy can't wait for next update :holy:

Reveilled posted:

Save edit that guy into your court, and make sure his unnamed kids get converted to islam and made Emirs of Nowhere

He sounds like someone from the Srjbyzantium LP. Where did you get this guy from, Wiz?

Pakled
Aug 6, 2011

WE ARE SMART

Viola the Mad posted:

Oh boy oh boy oh boy can't wait for next update :holy:


He sounds like someone from the Srjbyzantium LP. Where did you get this guy from, Wiz?

If he was in the Serbia LP he would have been elected Emperor in a heartbeat.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


Pakled posted:

If he was in the Serbia LP he would have been elected Emperor in a heartbeat.

What makes you think we didn't? Sniper, you are the next Srbja player, you know what to do.

sniper4625
Sep 26, 2009

Loyal to the hEnd

ZearothK posted:

What makes you think we didn't? Sniper, you are the next Srbja player, you know what to do.

Hmm. Mayyyybe.

Wiz
May 16, 2004

Nap Ghost

Viola the Mad posted:

Oh boy oh boy oh boy can't wait for next update :holy:


He sounds like someone from the Srjbyzantium LP. Where did you get this guy from, Wiz?

I just spotted him when I was looking for the Hohenzollerns (they hold a county in Austria). I have NO idea how a character without a culture appeared in the game, let alone ended up as ruler.

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

Advanced
Computer Touching


Toilet Rascal
Well, it's as they say: Bugs are the spice of Paradox Games (until they cause the entire thing to inevitably crash)!

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
I'm not a CK player, so imagine my surprise to find out that, thanks to a misspelling, the most famous Mon Cal is, in fact, a deity.

LordBaxter
Sep 7, 2009

I finally managed to make everybody like me, if only for one day
Alright, I've managed to form a semi-stable kingdom of england and wales, making sure to keep at least 1000 gold in the bank for when a random rear end in a top hat declares war on me. Currently just trying to get rid of my badboy and start building up some points of stability that I can convert to sweet cash money as well as try and spread the roads idea.

There's still tons of poo poo that confuses me though, what the hell does changing power balance in a region do? What do the various levels of religious stringency/flexibility and thought do? Is there some way I can make research faster?

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zedar
Dec 3, 2010

Your leader
From memory changing the balance of power in regions affects the ratio of troop types it produces. The nobility produces knights, burghers make heavy infantry, peasants light infantry and archers.

Edit: This is the best guide I've found to the basics of the game.

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