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150 years in the future, the hit Azerbaijani pop group Jahan Jahan is an international sensation.
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May 14, 2013 01:14
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 00:51 |
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And Poland goes down first while we are slowly mowed down. This is a wonderful start to
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May 14, 2013 01:33
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The Russians will die like flies in the harsh Azerbaijani summer! Their uniforms simply aren't suited for this, and they will be forced to remove their fur hats, coats and boots, leaving them exposed to mosquitoes, sharp rocks and terrible sunburns! Their defeat is inevitable!
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May 14, 2013 02:49
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Welp. 
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May 14, 2013 02:56
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Have any of the Paradox mega-LPs really gone the route of -not- defending monarchy and conservatism for as long as possible? I'm thinking Hohenzollern and Fintilgin's Jerusalem were both kinda stalwarts for conservative stability against both reaction and socialism. I'm kinda hoping for a Revolutionary Azerbaijan, in a way. 
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May 14, 2013 03:01
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Drone posted:I'm kinda hoping for a Revolutionary Azerbaijan, in a way.
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May 14, 2013 03:06
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NihilCredo posted:I might like to see that but I'm much more eager to see some kind of Waterloo for Russia. Unstoppable juggernauts who never lose are boring even when they are AI-controlled. I dunno man, any European power now needs to fight through Poland and then the Baltic to even get close to Russian soil. The way things are going, Germany's republic is probably going to be restored again.
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May 14, 2013 03:22
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Spiderfist Island posted:I dunno man, any European power now needs to fight through Poland and then the Baltic to even get close to Russian soil. The way things are going, Germany's republic is probably going to be restored again. I think Europe is boned, unless if Burgundy collapses to the weight of Spain and Italy, the United Kingdom joining Burgundy here has absolutely destroyed our position in Western Europe. The only way we can hope to rally is what I think is a miracle in the Alps.
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May 14, 2013 03:28
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NihilCredo posted:I might like to see that but I'm much more eager to see some kind of Waterloo for Russia. Unstoppable juggernauts who never lose are boring even when they are AI-controlled.
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May 14, 2013 03:49
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Perfidious Francia!  Unless mountains are much more defensively advantageous in MoTE than other Paradox games, Azerbaijan is utterly screwed. I don't think I'd be particularly happy to see a revolutionary Azerbaijan since we'd probably lose something like 2/3 of our territory.
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May 14, 2013 04:08
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Drone posted:Have any of the Paradox mega-LPs really gone the route of -not- defending monarchy and conservatism for as long as possible? I'm thinking Hohenzollern and Fintilgin's Jerusalem were both kinda stalwarts for conservative stability against both reaction and socialism. I think Kersch had a Vicky 2 LP as a republican Brazil and was going to convert it over to one of the HoIs (unless my memory really is loving with me). I can already imagine what the history chapters will say about the revolutionary wars if Russia ends up utterly conquering. Even if they do have a Waterloo-like moment when the monarchists get their poo poo together, Europe will have to face the obvious fact that their own bickering got in the way of crushing revolutionary zeal. It may have been mentioned before, but looking at the state of the world at the start of MotE makes me think: it's quite striking that, in general, the size of nations seems to be a lot bigger in this timeline. Europe seems altogether more balanced in terms of competition between countries, with medium powers like Bavaria and Hungary being able to temper out the balance of power a lot more. Perhaps it's just because of the lack of a HRE in favour of a unified Germany, coupled with the lack of an Austrian empire? I'm quite curious to see who ends up being the GPs at the start of Vicky 2, though, as Vicky seems to make it pretty easy for GPs to swap around a lot if #8 starts getting into trouble at home. Speaking of Vicky 2 - oh god, the crises that are bound to happen in Azerbaijan if Armenia & co. don't end up being released at the end of the revolutionary wars anyway  quick edit: in terms of Azerbaijan's fate, I can see it going two major ways (assuming we're about to get rolled): either Russia utterly dismantles the place, releasing possibly a Republican Armenia and maybe a Republican Georgia as well as instituting a Republic of Azerbaijan, or Russia decides to play the long game and secure a regional power ally by keeping Azerbaijan a large multi-ethnic Republic. I can see that latter option going poorly if both countries are still Republics come Vicky 2, as Azerbaijan will most likely be in Russia's sphere which means Russia will probably be forced to stand by their little oppressive puppet in the south in the event of ethnic crises. The Narrator fucked around with this message at 04:14 on May 14, 2013 |
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May 14, 2013 04:10
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The Narrator posted:I think Kersch had a Vicky 2 LP as a republican Brazil and was going to convert it over to one of the HoIs (unless my memory really is loving with me).
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May 14, 2013 06:18
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The Narrator posted:I think Kersch had a Vicky 2 LP as a republican Brazil and was going to convert it over to one of the HoIs (unless my memory really is loving with me). There was a HM's Government -> Democracy Brazil V2 LP, pre-AHD using PDM. It finished with New England becoming ruled by a bunch of Lovecraftian cultists IIRC. Also I am so pumped that this LP is still rocking. Wiz you're a magician. If it's not too complicated/difficult a question to answer, how did you manage to fudge the AI to work with the modded scenario?
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May 14, 2013 08:05
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The Narrator posted:I think Kersch had a Vicky 2 LP as a republican Brazil and was going to convert it over to one of the HoIs (unless my memory really is loving with me). That was ZearothK, Kersch never lped vicky 2.
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May 14, 2013 08:45
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Do not forget, Poland's targets in this are in Russia and the Baltic Republic; the Russians have turned Poland not into puppet state, but into a temporary ally, and it is only a matter of time before the Revolutionary camp succumbs to infighting. Our troops will march fearless to liberate our lands, for they know that to die for the Sultan is to earn the keys of paradise.
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May 14, 2013 08:48
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Drone posted:Have any of the Paradox mega-LPs really gone the route of -not- defending monarchy and conservatism for as long as possible? I'm thinking Hohenzollern and Fintilgin's Jerusalem were both kinda stalwarts for conservative stability against both reaction and socialism. I must admit... I'm pretty sure all the emphasis on ~tolerance~ just ended up turning us into the Ottomans.  Revolution is our only hope. May the Russian hoards save us from ourselves.
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May 14, 2013 09:00
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We took Humanist Tolerance pretty early but we didn't max out on Free Subjects (did max out on Innovation) and we only took LEF as our last idea so we were pretty tolerant all things considered but we're right next to a liberal, bourgeois revolutionary republic. We'd probably stand out as an island of enlightenment otherwise but with the Bear Hug next to us we kind of look like assholes. We never took any strides towards trying to abolish monarchy and establish a republic, and if you look at the order we took ideas in it's pretty clear that we used "tolerance" as a quasi-ironic justification for militaristic expansionism, as epitomized in various catchphrases where "tolerate" was clearly used as euphemism for forcible seizure of land (after HT we took a pretty hard turn towards a police state, up until LEF). Cabinet is really kind of the microcosm for the period - instead of choosing to actually provide our people with a Bill of Rights, we decided to replace rights with public relations and focus on placating people abroad. We decided that appearing to be better rulers was more important than actually being better rulers, because doing so made it easier for us to interfere with our neighbors. If you look at the debate for that Shura council(starting page 131), you can see that the decision is a classic one, a turn from idealism to realpolitik, and the results are predictable.
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May 14, 2013 09:33
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Tulip posted:We took Humanist Tolerance pretty early but we didn't max out on Free Subjects (did max out on Innovation) and we only took LEF as our last idea so we were pretty tolerant all things considered but we're right next to a liberal, bourgeois revolutionary republic. We'd probably stand out as an island of enlightenment otherwise but with the Bear Hug next to us we kind of look like assholes. So, the Reichstag all over again... I warned you all! And now we're on the way to becoming a theocratic pariah state that uses car bombs as a diplomatic greeting.  EDIT: I'm starting to think that the only way a mega-LP like this one can become democratic is to start off being peasant-eating monsters and hope we get revolution'd. SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 13:19 on May 14, 2013 |
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May 14, 2013 13:13
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SirPhoebos posted:So, the Reichstag all over again... The real way to prevent this is to vote for a bill of rights/constitution as soon as it pops up. Same thing happened with the Reichstag. Which made the ultra-conservative turn possible.
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May 14, 2013 13:40
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SirPhoebos posted:So, the Reichstag all over again... Partly it's probably because having a nice little democracy that respects the land rights of everyone around it and buzzes with inner peace and harmony is a narrative death trap. Sometimes I'll challenge myself to a CK2 or EU3 with a limited objective, but then I shut the game off when I'm done instead of try to write an LP about the two hundred years of status quo that follows.
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May 14, 2013 15:53
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I think that everyone in the Shura wanted the elected monarchy to turn into a republic, so basically it's all Wiz's fault for loving enlightened monarchs. It's a very common affliction amongst swedes, called gustavus adolphus syndrome.
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May 14, 2013 16:06
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SirPhoebos posted:So, the Reichstag all over again... Actually, when i looked through the record you changed your vote from Bill of Rights to Cabinet for exactly this reason! Conskill posted:Partly it's probably because having a nice little democracy that respects the land rights of everyone around it and buzzes with inner peace and harmony is a narrative death trap. Eh, i think that if that were really the case the history of democracies the world over would be a lot more boring. Admittedly there's a lack of functional democracies in this time period (the US barely counts, it doesn't get on the scene till so late), but if we had really wanted we could have been more democratic and tolerant at the cost of being worse at war (we'd probably not fight any less). I'd have to pore over the records a little more but my kneejerk response is to blame the meme-bleating of " MODERNIZERS" and "pretty borders" but that last one is because i think "pretty borders" is the Paradox LP equivalent of "MLYP" levels of shitposting.
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May 14, 2013 16:08
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I don't think there's much wrong with how Azerbaijan ended up turning out, other than the uncontrollable factor of ending up with a hostile and far more powerful neighbor.
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May 14, 2013 16:33
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Tulip posted:Actually, when i looked through the record you changed your vote from Bill of Rights to Cabinet for exactly this reason! To be fair, though, given our geographical situation (Next to the Armenians, who hated us, and next to the Russians, who eat everything), we didn't really have a lot of choice BUT to expand militarily to protect ourselves. Of course, the question of why exactly the Armenians hated us to begin with is something I've forgotten myself, and I suspect it's probably our own silly fault. Still, though, the odds of a minor country trying to live peacefully next to Russia and not getting annexed aren't really great. We may have been militaristic, but without militarism we'd probably not actually be here any more.
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May 14, 2013 16:49
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The Saurus posted:That was ZearothK, Kersch never lped vicky 2. That LP ended in a democracy because the thread voted in the beginning that the army would stand aside if a democratic revolution happened. That's basically the only way to stop Goonocracy, smother it in the crib.
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May 14, 2013 16:50
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ThePutty posted:Posted it before, extra relevant now: Did this a while ago, figure I should share now.  I'm a total dork with an LP poster on his wall.
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May 14, 2013 18:20
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We just ate Armenia at the end of EU3 and we're probably about to lose it and the Crimea to Russia. Our only saving grace right now is our military tech, so I like to think that Azerbaijan will spend Victoria II trying to industrialize or die, like Russia after the Crimean War. "Losing" March of the Eagles should make for a good Victoria II chapter, even if losing some cores (Astrakhan and the Crimea should be cored, at least) means we'll probably end it getting creamed by fascist rebels.
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May 14, 2013 18:29
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I'd prefer a lot of things as long as we don't lose OUR JEWS.
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May 14, 2013 18:34
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AtomikKrab posted:I'd prefer a lot of things as long as we don't lose OUR JEWS. No one takes Our Jews!
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May 14, 2013 19:01
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 Chapter 3: Reversals (1823 - 1826) The first months of 1823 are quiet, with the only sign of the Russians being their fleets probing the Azeri coast.  Their armies finally make themselves known in March, sending some 170,000 men down through Crimea and into the Caucasus.  Arrayed against them is the Azeri army of 130,000 men and some 35,000 reserves.  Believing Azerbaijan easy pickings, the Russians spread out to pillage the Caucasian cities, crossing the mountains in small armies of ten to twenty thousand. This is what the Azeri generals have been waiting for, and the armies are ordered north to attack the Russians before they have a chance to consolidate their forces.  The Russians are taken by complete surprise, their armies picked off one at a time by the concetrated Azeri offensive before they have a chance to reorganize.   Recapturing cities and routing Russian armies, the Azeri forces press north, reaching Crimea by autumn.  The Kingdom of Greece, enticed by Russian promises of money and support, choose this moment to strike and declare war over their claims to Greek Anatolia.  With the Russian front seemingly secure at the moment, Tunga sends an army down south to throw the Greeks back across the Hellespont.  This turns out to be exactly what Mansurov had been waiting for. Leading an army of 115000 soldiers into the Crimea, he attacks Tunga's army at Kertch and utterly crushes it, encircling and wiping out the survivors as they try to retreat to Soci.   Tunga himself escapes just barely, taking a ship to Smyrna and joining up with the one remaining army. He orders desperate recruitment measures, enrolling every man who can hold a rifle in defense of the country.  Gathering some 50,000 men in total, he withdraws to Tabriz to defend the capital at any cost.  Mansurov takes his time, spending almost a year capturing Azeri cities and encircling Tabriz before finally moving on the capital. Tunga makes his stand at Marand, facing down Mansurov with every last man available to him.  It is not enough.  The survivors withdraw behind the walls of Tabriz, but the city's medieval walls were never intended to withstand a modern siege. Artillery bombardment brings down two of the gates and the Russian army pours through the breaches, fighting a bloody street war with Tunga's forces and the city garrison. The gutters run red with Russian blood as the defenders make them pay in lives for every building and street, but in the end the battle can only end one way.   In the end, the war can only end one way. 
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May 14, 2013 20:24
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Jacobins in our midst! e; 
Kainser fucked around with this message at 20:36 on May 14, 2013 |
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May 14, 2013 20:27
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Welcome to the glorious new Azerbaijan.
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May 14, 2013 20:27
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We held out a hell of a long time. Goodbye, glorious old Azerbaijan. Never again will you be a first-class power. The rest of your history will be under the boot of Russia.
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May 14, 2013 20:31
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Azerbaijan is dead. Long live Azerbaijan.
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May 14, 2013 20:32
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Hey, that's not fair. They were supposed to be watching Eurovision while we overrun their positions. 
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May 14, 2013 20:33
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Fight to the bitter end!
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May 14, 2013 20:34
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Let the glorious reign of Azeri votes begin.
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May 14, 2013 20:36
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Yesss. Best possible end. I like that, even if it was in essence a curb-stomp, it was a tactically interesting one that involved various advances and retreats and Greeks. Do we get a new flag?
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May 14, 2013 20:37
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Well, time to see if Russia partitions us into half a dozen puppet republics (gotta reward their Greek allies somehow, right?) or if they let us keep the whole thing.
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May 14, 2013 20:37
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 00:51 |
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God drat it! At least we made the Russians pay a heavy price in blood  Hopefully we can get a revolution in HoD that frees us from Russia's puppet strings. I don't particularly care what kind of government we get (though I do think the lefty socialist tolerant government goons are so enamored with in these LPs is the most boring option) but it stings being made into a Russian toady.
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May 14, 2013 20:38
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