Minecraft: Please Wait 5 Seconds to Continue via Adfly

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Minecraft: Please Wait 5 Seconds to Continue via Adfly

abraham linksys: Sep 6, 2010

That is seriously the dumbest loving gaming-related thing I've ever seen. I've defended basically every pretentious indie game to come out, from Braid to Passage, but holy gently caress, that ending is a loving abomination. It's like Mojang hired M. Night Shyamalan's fanfic-writing twin.

(boss fight looks kinda neat though)

Here it is, if for some reason you loving love scrolling text:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9ThL-9mQU0

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 20:54

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 10:07

abraham linksys: Sep 6, 2010

It would have been neat if they did something small-scale that put your gameplay into perspective, like maybe a few paragraphs with some nice art that describes your hero's journey or whatever, kinda like the end of Marathon Infinity:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f5vbzZyIjs

But no. Scrolling loving text. Ugh.

Of course, one byproduct of this game's ridiculously open development cycle, combined with a lack of real objectives, is that the ending is basically pointless. Game over, now go and play more like you have been for the last two years or whatever. But regardless, literally anything would be a better ending. gently caress, just show a congratulations screen and an "achievement unlocked: beat game" popup. Anything but this piece of poo poo.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 21:10

abraham linksys: Sep 6, 2010

quote:

You. You. You are alive.

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the sunlight that came through the shuffling leaves of the summer trees

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter, where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye might be a star a million times as massive as the sun, boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player, walking home at the far side of the universe, suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream

and the universe said I love you

and the universe said you have played the game well

and the universe said everything you need is within you

and the universe said you are stronger than you know

and the universe said you are the daylight

and the universe said you are the night

and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you

and the universe said the light you seek is within you

and the universe said you are not alone

and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing

and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code

and the universe said I love you because you are love.

And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. And the player began a new dream. And the player dreamed again, dreamed better. And the player was the universe. And the player was love.

You are the player.

Wake up.

I've never gotten douche chills from text before now. This is the worst thing.

Minecraft Megathread: and the universe said I love you because you are love

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 21:23

abraham linksys: Sep 6, 2010

PalmTreeFun posted:

God drat, this is so stereotypically indie game it hurts. Excuse me while I go play some Flash games about ~true love~ to wash the indie off myself.

I defend the gently caress out of those games because they almost always have legitimate artistic intent and sometimes execute that poo poo pretty well (though more often than not fall flat on their face), but this is nothing like that. Not only is it uber-pretentious, it's a complete non sequitur to the rest of the loving game. Like, when you play Braid, even if you think the ending is silly you can at least see what, why, and how Jonathan Blow tried to make it and integrate it into the game.

This is just scrolling text following you killing a dragon. Goddamn.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 21:27

abraham linksys: Sep 6, 2010

ChurlishToff posted:

It's weird because enderdragons were pretty much going to be a lil' joke referencing the legals stuff with scrolls. Then they were final boss, and now a precursor to a big wall of dumb words.

Have Mojang ever known what the gently caress they were doing? I mean, honestly, I've been out of the Minecraft loop for well over a year, and reading up on everything between beta 1.8 and now just seems like "holy poo poo rush like crazy and cut every corner to get 1.0 out for Minecon."

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 21:43

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