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Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
Is the title of that video a reference to Five Iron Frenzy?

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That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


Drifter posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K3LO9H_Yq0


I don't normally dislike people, but the people in this video just piss me off for some reason.

I was OK with it until they put Gyoza in there then it just made me angry.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
mindphlux you should get your tattoos filled in before you make another video.

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


midnightclimax posted:

Cooking? I put the pizza in the oven.
You'll get a more dense but even crumb and more surface contact from using a rolling pin as you smash out significantly more co2. There are times you'd want to do one or the other, but it doesn't matter when you're tossing it on the oven grate.

canoshiz
Nov 6, 2005

THANK GOD FOR THE SMOKE MACHINE!
Does anyone have a good list of backpacking meal ideas? Going on a 2 night backpacking trip in southern Utah at the beginning of next month. We're all first timers so we don't have any experience in this, really. Friends have told me to bring along instant rice/ramen/mashed potatoes with packaged tuna/chicken for protein, along with various trail snacks like nuts/fruit. I'd like to stay well nourished (ie not eat packaged carbs all day :() so are there any lists of nutritious, lightweight, only-needs-boiling-water type meals handy?

bartlebee
Nov 5, 2008

mich posted:

Maangchi is always a great guide for korea foods.

http://www.maangchi.com/recipe/napa-cabbage-kimchi

One tip though, always give your veg a taste after the post-salting rinsing step since depending on the size of your cabbage and the fineness of your particular salt, your cabbage might absorb more salt than maangchi's did. It says to rinse 3 times but you should rinse more if it's still very salty tasting, as you'll be adding back in more salt through the fish sauce. Don't rinse off all the salt or anything, just if it is already tasting a bit too salty after the rinse step, it's only going to be saltier after applying the paste.


After four days of fermentation, this seems like a success. I moved the six mason jars to the refrigerator tonight, and I think I'll post a thread about kimchi if I don't kill myself with this batch. Thanks, thread.

I like turtles
Aug 6, 2009

Alright, who here has made black garlic? I'd like to give it a shot, but have seen a number of methods, ranging from:
Sticking garlic heads into a rice cooker on "warm" for 9 days
Same, with a slow cooker for the same amount of time
Sealing them in a jar and putting them into a temperature controlled warm box for 30-90 days

The last seems to produce the most consistent results. Anyone tried this out at all?

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
maybe this is something more for PI, but I did some pulled pork the other day. I took some of the extra skin I had and let that sit in the smoker until it's of similar consistency of a pig's ear or something like that. I def didn't clean all the fat well on some pieces but it's hard as a rock now and cooked through (like 12+ hours in the smoker).

I've read things about there being too much fat on these causing issues for dogs digestive tracks. Anyone have any experience with this?

Also any idea on how long these treats would last if kept in a jar?

Tyson Tomko
May 8, 2005

The Problem Solver.

canoshiz posted:

Does anyone have a good list of backpacking meal ideas? Going on a 2 night backpacking trip in southern Utah at the beginning of next month. We're all first timers so we don't have any experience in this, really. Friends have told me to bring along instant rice/ramen/mashed potatoes with packaged tuna/chicken for protein, along with various trail snacks like nuts/fruit. I'd like to stay well nourished (ie not eat packaged carbs all day :() so are there any lists of nutritious, lightweight, only-needs-boiling-water type meals handy?

It might count as packaged carbs but I've always been a fan of bringing bagels/crackers/bread/rolls/etc and a jar of peanut butter.

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002

THE MACHO MAN posted:

maybe this is something more for PI, but I did some pulled pork the other day. I took some of the extra skin I had and let that sit in the smoker until it's of similar consistency of a pig's ear or something like that. I def didn't clean all the fat well on some pieces but it's hard as a rock now and cooked through (like 12+ hours in the smoker).

I've read things about there being too much fat on these causing issues for dogs digestive tracks. Anyone have any experience with this?

Also any idea on how long these treats would last if kept in a jar?

I wouldn't give it to my dog. Just give it a bit of the pulled pork

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness
Soiled Meat

canoshiz posted:

Does anyone have a good list of backpacking meal ideas? Going on a 2 night backpacking trip in southern Utah at the beginning of next month. We're all first timers so we don't have any experience in this, really. Friends have told me to bring along instant rice/ramen/mashed potatoes with packaged tuna/chicken for protein, along with various trail snacks like nuts/fruit. I'd like to stay well nourished (ie not eat packaged carbs all day :() so are there any lists of nutritious, lightweight, only-needs-boiling-water type meals handy?
http://www.thekitchn.com/good-question-10-145778
Check out those links and read the comments and see if anything strikes you.

You're only gone for two days, so you could really pack whatever the heck you want - nothing's really going to go bad. Sandwiches will always be great. Anything you're willing to carry is fair game, I'd say.

If you have a cooler, for longer trips it's great to mix in a small amount of dry ice at the bottom to keep the ice cold - things stay cold much much longer as a result.

You can use couscous to do whatever, just pour boiling water over a pot of it and let it steep, covered. I'd precook some chicken breast or thighs or pulled pork (mhmm) and store those in a baggie, and pack up sliced onions, peppers and garlic into a little ziploc baggie with a little olive oil poured inside to saute them whenever. You can cook rice/oatmeal, press it flat and freeze it in individual servings in baggies and you only need to add a few tablespoons of water to warm it up.

I'd make some breakfast burritos, they generally last well if you forgo the super moisture-causing ingredients like tomatoes.
Make some curry paste, freeze it in little baggies to add to rice or couscous or the heated chicken or whatever.

Cheese is a good thing, with some sausage. If you can get some figs, those are always delicious. Pre make a roasted beet salad and eat that.

CzarChasm
Mar 14, 2009

I don't like it when you're watching me eat.

cementsocks posted:

Cooking question: I live in a NY apartment with no fan or fume hood over my oven. Is there any way to minimize the amount of smoke that goes all over my house when I cook meat or add liquid to a hot pan? It seems to happen like 1/5 of the time.

Without knowing specifically what you are cooking it's a little hard to narrow down, but at first blush, it sounds like your heat is too high. If you're searing a steak, that's fine, and some smoke is normal. But you shouldn't be getting smoke if you are adding liquid to a hot pan. Steam, yes. Smoke, no.

angor
Nov 14, 2003
teen angst

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Is the title of that video a reference to Five Iron Frenzy?

Easily the best christian ska band.

exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


Drifter posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K3LO9H_Yq0


I don't normally dislike people, but the people in this video just piss me off for some reason.

I did like the part where the one guy was like "you ever make brownies from a mix before?" and the other dude was like "nah, I can only sous vide."

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
I'm looking after my parents greenhouse while they're on holiday for 2 weeks. I already mentioned i have tons of basil but i'm about to have tons of small cucumbers, I don't think their tomatoes will be ready in time. Any recommendations that don't involve booze?

Also I guess i might as well ask here, I bought some chili plugs, 1 jalapeno/habanero/serrano/cayenne. They grew pretty quickly and the jalapeno/habanero got some fruit but then it all just stopped growing I assume to go with the fact it rained for 2 weeks in north east england and the lack of heat/sun. will this affect the fruit i've already got growing much? i already can tell it will limit the amount i get

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

Jose posted:

I'm looking after my parents greenhouse while they're on holiday for 2 weeks. I already mentioned i have tons of basil but i'm about to have tons of small cucumbers, I don't think their tomatoes will be ready in time. Any recommendations that don't involve booze?

Fridge pickles all day erry day.


Make a brine with the vinegar of your choice (I love just plain white distilled, the "OG" vinegar), salt, maybe a little sugar. I also add a bunch of red pepper flakes and garlic cloves, a shitload of both. Boil the brine, and pour them over your sliced/halved/quartered cukes. Allow to cool, throw in the fridge, wait a week, and enjoy - they'll get even better and stronger with time, before the pickles themselves begin to go a little soft. Get some Pickle Crisp if you want them to be Claussen-style crunchy (highly recommended).

Bald Stalin
Jul 11, 2004

Our posts
mmm garlic and dill fridge pickled cukes

Defenestration
Aug 10, 2006

"It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"


Grimey Drawer
I'm looking for a cream sauce recipe that takes only a modicum of skill and time and turns out thick decadent goodness. Any suggestions?

theres a will theres moe
Jan 10, 2007


Hair Elf

Drifter posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K3LO9H_Yq0


I don't normally dislike people, but the people in this video just piss me off for some reason.

Maybe it's because its just a group of nervous metrosexuals loving around with a waffle iron like frat boys, presented in the most pretentious way possible

Micomicona
Aug 7, 2007

Defenestration posted:

I'm looking for a cream sauce recipe that takes only a modicum of skill and time and turns out thick decadent goodness. Any suggestions?

A basic bechamel (white sauce)? those are dead easy, plus adaptable as all heck. Great kitchen skill to have.

Take a certain amount of butter (sayyyyy, two tablespoons?), melt it in a pan. Add the same amount of flour. Whisk it all about, and let it cook for a few minutes--just enough so that it gets all bubbly and the flour is cooked through. This is called a roux (pronounced "roo") by the way. From there, whisk in as many cups of milk as you added tablespoons of butter (so in my example, 2 cups). You could do less liquid/more roux for a thicker sauce if you'd like. Salt, pepper, stirring, and PATIENCE come next. after a few minutes (5-10, depending) it will magically thicken up and voila! Basic, basic cream sauce.

Here's the cool thing; you can add/change all sorts of things. Render some sausage instead of melting butter, and proceed? Country gravy. Add a bunch of shredded cheeses after it has thickened up? Cheese sauce. Try using a different liquid like stock instead of some of the milk--or try subbing in cream for extra richness. Sautee some onions, garlic, spices in the butter if you want more flavor like that. You could use a different oil instead of butter too, if you are feeding hippies or whatever. I have made roux-based "cream" sauces with olive oil, whole wheat flour, almond milk, and vegetable stock and they still turned out thick, glossy, and tasty. This is a super adaptable sauce.

ETA: some people use 'cream sauce' and alfredo (as in the fettuccini) interchangeably. No worries! You can make the one out of the other. Make the roux, add some cream, then add a BUNCH of Parmesan. Purists may say no garlic, but garlic is tasty and often shows up in these things; just mince it up and chuck it in with the butter if you want it. I think alfredo ultra-purists may even say just do butter+cream+cheese, but this will not be as thick nor decadent as it sounds like you'd want as the roux is what makes it thick.

Micomicona fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Aug 5, 2015

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness
Soiled Meat

exquisite tea posted:

I did like the part where the one guy was like "you ever make brownies from a mix before?" and the other dude was like "nah, I can only sous vide."

That part made me laugh, actually. :3:

Defenestration
Aug 10, 2006

"It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"


Grimey Drawer

Micomicona posted:

A basic bechamel (white sauce)? those are dead easy, plus adaptable as all heck. Great kitchen skill to have.

Take a certain amount of butter (sayyyyy, two tablespoons?), melt it in a pan. Add the same amount of flour. Whisk it all about, and let it cook for a few minutes--just enough so that it gets all bubbly and the flour is cooked through. This is called a roux (pronounced "roo") by the way. From there, whisk in as many cups of milk as you added tablespoons of butter (so in my example, 2 cups). You could do less liquid/more roux for a thicker sauce if you'd like. Salt, pepper, stirring, and PATIENCE come next. after a few minutes (5-10, depending) it will magically thicken up and voila! Basic, basic cream sauce.

Here's the cool thing; you can add/change all sorts of things. Render some sausage instead of melting butter, and proceed? Country gravy. Add a bunch of shredded cheeses after it has thickened up? Cheese sauce. Try using a different liquid like stock instead of some of the milk--or try subbing in cream for extra richness. Sautee some onions, garlic, spices in the butter if you want more flavor like that. You could use a different oil instead of butter too, if you are feeding hippies or whatever. I have made roux-based "cream" sauces with olive oil, whole wheat flour, almond milk, and vegetable stock and they still turned out thick, glossy, and tasty. This is a super adaptable sauce.

ETA: some people use 'cream sauce' and alfredo (as in the fettuccini) interchangeably. No worries! You can make the one out of the other. Make the roux, add some cream, then add a BUNCH of Parmesan. Purists may say no garlic, but garlic is tasty and often shows up in these things; just mince it up and chuck it in with the butter if you want it. I think alfredo ultra-purists may even say just do butter+cream+cheese, but this will not be as thick nor decadent as it sounds like you'd want as the roux is what makes it thick.
I like the sound of all this. What other kinds spices would go with? I was using just garlic and black pepper.
Correlated question: what can I sautee with garlic if my boyfriend doesn't like onions?

Micomicona
Aug 7, 2007

Defenestration posted:

I like the sound of all this. What other kinds spices would go with? I was using just garlic and black pepper.
Correlated question: what can I sautee with garlic if my boyfriend doesn't like onions?

honestly, garlic and black pepper is a Pro Bechamel Combo! I always add a tiny tiny touch of nutmeg to whatever cream sauce I make--not too much, just the tiniest amount! I think it makes it taste more dairy-y, brings out the sweetness of the milk (in a good way), and also that's the way my awesome aunt--sauce pro--does it.

Onion is strictly optional; I like adding it when I'm going to be making a recipe with my cream sauce (such as a potpie or casserole) but it does add chunks to a sauce and if you want a velvety sauce experience it may interfere. You can really go wild depending on what you are planning to use your cream sauce for; for example for baked mac and cheese I make a roux with onions, pepper, and mustard powder, add about 1/2-1 cup of beer, then add milk and whatever tasty cheeses I've got on hand (cheddars, gruyeres, stubs of goudas or even blue cheeses, jacks or what-have-you). For country gravy to float biscuits in, I fry up some breakfast sausage, add flour, sage, rosemary, thyme, lots and lots of pepper, then milk. For a light-ish pasta primavera-ish sauce, I make a tiny tiny roux (like just a pat of butter), then use mostly vegetable stock and a hit of cream. Because I am of good midwestern stock, you better believe I've made a roux with a boatload of mushrooms sauteed in the butter, then you can use it as a delicious upgrade to cream of mushroom soup in a casserole.

For just eating on pasta, simple is good--garlic and some pepper. Also super duper good is a little bit of roux but with fresh sage leaves cooked with the butter, then some milk/cream.

But experiment! It really is just a sauce template: fat (butter/animal fat/oil) + optional flavorings (onion/leeks/garlic/herbs/spices)+ flour + liquid (beer/milk/stock/cream/???)

Mercedes Colomar
Nov 1, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
There's a potentially easier alfredo that's really rich. Sautee some onions and garlic. Add an amount of cream of your choosing (say, 2 cups/a pint,) reduce that by half. Add parmesean to taste (like 1 - 1 1/2 cups of fresh grated. I did say it was rich,) then strain it if you want it smoother. Or leave it sorta chunky to make it seem more homemade. Just need to let the cream reduce slowly so it doesn't burn.

UnbearablyBlight
Nov 4, 2009

hello i am your heart how nice to meet you
So you know those little bags of spices and herbs you get at the Mexican market? I saw one that said it was saffron priced at about $2.50. I assume it's not actual saffron at that price, so what is it?

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness
Soiled Meat

Esme posted:

So you know those little bags of spices and herbs you get at the Mexican market? I saw one that said it was saffron priced at about $2.50. I assume it's not actual saffron at that price, so what is it?

Most likely Safflower. Maybe some Marigold petals and old saffron stems. Even if it looks similar it's not really worth it to buy so cheaply as the flavor is pretty neutral, even when bloomed.

It's called 'American Saffron', I think, if they're being somewhat honest.

Lucy Heartfilia
May 31, 2012


Well, if you only want to make food yellow it should be fine.

Fo3
Feb 14, 2004

RAAAAARGH!!!! GIFT CARDS ARE FUCKING RETARDED!!!!

(I need a hug)

Manuel Calavera posted:

There's a potentially easier alfredo that's really rich. Sautee some onions and garlic. Add an amount of cream of your choosing (say, 2 cups/a pint,) reduce that by half. Add parmesean to taste (like 1 - 1 1/2 cups of fresh grated. I did say it was rich,) then strain it if you want it smoother. Or leave it sorta chunky to make it seem more homemade. Just need to let the cream reduce slowly so it doesn't burn.

Yeah, the directions before this quote are how to make a white sauce, or bechamel. You can add parsley, lemon, basil, tarragon; or cheese and mustard for mornay. These are great to make if you have no cream and are what I prefer doing.

But if you have cream and want a cream sauce, you just add cream to the pan after frying the veg and simmer it down.

Fo3 fucked around with this message at 11:31 on Aug 5, 2015

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

Lucy Heartfilia posted:

Well, if you only want to make food yellow it should be fine.

That's what it's for. It's not supposed to be a flavouring (well, it has a slight bitterness), but rather for making food look pretty.

mr. unhsib
Sep 19, 2003
I hate you all.
Does anyone have a good dairy-free pancake recipe? Eggs are okay. The main thing I am looking for is fluffiness :) Thanks!

Micomicona
Aug 7, 2007

mr. unhsib posted:

Does anyone have a good dairy-free pancake recipe? Eggs are okay. The main thing I am looking for is fluffiness :) Thanks!

I dunno about pancakes specifically--though it is my impression that most of the fluff comes from eggs plus baking powder--but I've had great success with almond milk as a milk substitute in waffle recipes.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
Use soda water. Tonic water if you're worried about mosquitoes.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
I am hosting a dinner where there will be one Muslim guest.

I want to smoke a lump of beef. The meat has to have enough integrity that after smoking, it can be cut into cubes that hold together and can be served on little sticks like meat popsicles, kind of like this pork belly thing:


What cut of beef would be good for this?

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


Steve Yun posted:

I am hosting a dinner where there will be one Muslim guest.

I want to smoke a lump of beef. The meat has to have enough integrity that after smoking, it can be cut into cubes that hold together and can be served on little sticks like meat popsicles, kind of like this pork belly thing:


What cut of beef would be good for this?

Gonna say Brisket, because smoked brisket is always the poo poo. Others may have better ideas.

SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.

Steve Yun posted:

I am hosting a dinner where there will be one Muslim guest.

I want to smoke a lump of beef. The meat has to have enough integrity that after smoking, it can be cut into cubes that hold together and can be served on little sticks like meat popsicles, kind of like this pork belly thing:


What cut of beef would be good for this?
Do you have a halal butcher nearby? If so, see if you can get beef belly. Most halal butchers will have beef bacon, but you might find a place that will set you up with a whole belly. In the US and most of Europe a side of beef isn't really fabricated in a way to get a close approximation. Flank is from roughly the right part of the cow, but you generally won't find packaged cuts shaped the way you want them. Next closest (in terms of replicating the texture/consistency/mouthfeel) would probably be short ribs.

Edit: You could try going to a butcher and asking for a whole short plate, which is the subprimal short ribs are taken from.

That Works posted:

Gonna say Brisket, because smoked brisket is always the poo poo. Others may have better ideas.
Brisket rocks, but it's basically a giant wad of fat tacked onto an otherwise very lean muscle, which is very different from the aggressive marbling of pork belly.

SubG fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Aug 5, 2015

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
It doesn't necessarily have to approximate pork belly's structure, I just want it to have enough integrity to be presented as a mound full of sticks like a cenobite, and everyone pulls out each individual stick with a cube of beef on it, without each cube falling apart when the guest lifts it

SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.

Steve Yun posted:

It doesn't necessarily have to approximate pork belly's structure, I just want it to have enough integrity to be presented as a mound full of sticks like a cenobite, and everyone pulls out each individual stick with a cube of beef on it, without each cube falling apart when the guest lifts it
Pretty much any form of beef that hasn't been cooked to mush, including ground beef, will be solid enough to work as a kebab/kofta so I assume the same's true for meat lollipops. I mean if it's going to be a big deal if someone's lollipop falls off the stick then I'd say you should make a batch ahead of time to see how it comes out. Which is a good idea anyway. But it isn't something I'd really be sweating over.

That said, all else being equal meat holds a skewer better than fat (which doesn't hold skewer well at all) so if you're using marbled meat run the skewer through the meat perpendicular to the grain (as if you were trying to pin the layers together with the skewer). And a flat or spatulate skewer will hold looser meat better than a skinny, round skewer.

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer

Steve Yun posted:

It doesn't necessarily have to approximate pork belly's structure, I just want it to have enough integrity to be presented as a mound full of sticks like a cenobite, and everyone pulls out each individual stick with a cube of beef on it, without each cube falling apart when the guest lifts it

Short ribs maybe? They can benefit from a long smoke and are drat near that shape to begin with.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
Eye of round.

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Psychobabble
Jan 17, 2006
Use short ribs. If you get the whole rack you can smoke it on the bones, pull them out and press it flat to get perfect cubes.

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