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Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
I'm gonna play a heavy armor sword guy because its my first time playing any of these games :ohdear:

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Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
There is also that glyph thing, which I guess gives you something at some point. I got a code in my email. Maybe it will kill me when I enter it.

http://goo.gl/PtLdn

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

sighnoceros posted:

How do you "play" the glyph wall puzzle? I went through it with the google chrome developer tools but now all the glyphs are lit and nothing has happened.

Log out, clear history, and log back in, then do it over. You should be getting little messages every 5th or so. Thats how you know its working. At the end you put in your email and get a code.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

sighnoceros posted:

OK, thanks. How are you supposed to actually "play" it legitimately? I found the first glyph glowing but then I didn't see anything else. Is there some indication as to which glyph is supposed to be next?

I think you're supposed to play it like the game, in a brutal, soul crushing trial and error??? I dont think there is a way to beat it tactically.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
What is the best covenant? They all sound so cool :ohdear:

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
I would stick with it, Amazon loving up means you get delicious credits.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

SUPER NEAT TOY posted:

Also, I was in the forest and a crystal lizard crawled away from me and burrowed. Is he gone for good? :[

He will come back, sit at a bonfire. Took me a few tries to get him before he escaped due to targetting issues.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
I managed to cut off the tail and got the halberd from the second one. Pretty nice of them, considering nothing I've killed has dropped anything. Do Tower Knights and Cyber-Boars respawn ever?? I want to farm them for their goddamn items. I've killed like 5 of those knights and gotten jacksquat.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
I got invaded yesterday for the first time while waiting around for someone to summon me to help out against Tower Knights/Gargoyles. I quickly summoned someone to help out. They were afk. So I used him as bait. Phantom saw my friend and went to attacking, while I slipped in behind him and back stabbed his rear end.

Thanks AFK summons!

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
Does anyone know an approximate level you should be for each area? I know with skill and equipment you can probably beat everything, but just talking about in general. Due to my cautious and exhaustive play style I've only beaten the undead parish and I'm level 28. I feel like I'm probably overlevelled, but I don't want to miss anything and I am spending a lot of time kitting out my guy with upgraded armor and weapons.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
There is Eastern armor in that forest too! The chest piece is loving righteous. Lion pauldron. I'm rocking that and elite knight gear for the rest. I look crazy cool.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
I wish black knights respawned. As a heavy armor knight they are fun and intense to fight because I have to tank them and I want their loving gear but all I've ever got is titanite.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
Helping people fight the Capra demon is fun. I tank it while they heal, attack it when they get targetted. Fun. Plus as a super heavy knight I feel hella heroic helping these terrible thieves and mages.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Merauder posted:

I'm told that despite the high soul yield, many of the enemies behind the locked door are ridiculously difficult to handle, even in your 30s. I know that may sound a bit redundant for this game, but confirm/deny?

They can't be targetted, hit hard, and take damage like champs, thats why you make them run off a cliff.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Samurai Sanders posted:

There aren't people out there on the internet summoning people and then canceling it at the last minute just for shits and giggles, are there?

I am trying to get the drat fog ring but I've had people disconnect after I invade the forest. Says host disconnected.

Also I suck. I got backstabbed from the front twice :(

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
Trying to grind my way to a fog ring, need 2 more kills... invade another player, they have better items but I have a shield and spear and they can't penetrate. Guy uses 6 estus flasks to go from 10% to 100% while I am slowly whittled down. He gets me to 10%, I remember I have miracles. I heal myself. He aggros NPCs. Then disconnects because he just got in an unwinnable situation. loving lovely. If the invadee disconnects it should be an auto-win.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Filthy Monkey posted:

You can trade the skull lantern for it. Probably easier and less aggravating than trying to PvP there, really.

I'm not up to the catacombs yet. I'm only SL32 and I'm mostly hanging around Capra demon helping people. I've killed it 19 times...

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Elysiume posted:

People are summoning you for Capra? I'm SL30 and I'm not even getting summoned for Gaping Dragon.

Yea its pretty crazy. I work from home and so I just sit at the entrance with my summon sign down and every 15 minutes or so I get pulled in to help. I think the most I've done is like 7 times in 1 hour.

So now I'm sitting there with cat ring and summon sign. Just got my fog ring thanks to double invasion on some poor guy.

I was way of the white until I joined cat covenant, and that was when I got most of my summons. May want to try that. If you're near SL30 and still doing Capra Demon look for Jerkbox summon sign and I will kill that idiot for you.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
Whats up with that? I'm wearing Eastern Chest +3, Elite Knights everything else + Black Leather Gloves. Because those are my best gloves?!

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
If anyone wants to have a laugh please try the Demon Spear. First of all it looks like a crab claw on a stick. Thats funny enough. But it has a hideously long poke and a lightning proc, so it looks like you are cattle prodding all your enemies. I've been giggling every time I kill a mook.

Can buy it from Shiva of the East in blighttown if you're in the cat covenant, elsewise you gotta get it from some demon or something.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Tyro posted:

OK these Bell Gargoyles are pissing me off. I was able to kill the first one just barely but the second one got me in the back while I was doing it. I've been looking for Humanity all over for about 2 hours to try and summon help. Am I just getting unlucky with the random drops? Anyone have suggestions where to look for more Humanity? (SL13)

Kill the rat in the aquaduct or the rats under the dragon bridge, they drop humanity at early levels.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
I'm just dicking around with the cat ring invading people and I've been sent back to back to back to back into the same guys domain three times! Once he was obviously higher level with crazy gear and I finally managed to kill him with a bandit dagger +5 bleed proc after basically being unable to kill him the previous 3 times because of estus flasks and magic. The second time I managed to win thanks to NPCs coming to my aid, once again I was ground down by estus and magic. The third time it was a guy and his gold summon murdering everyone that invaded with ridiculous end game weapons and gear. And magic. And estus. At one point I just hosed off across the map and sat invisible until more invaders showed up. The first 3 invaders all got gang banged pretty quick due to lack of fog ring. The final invader must have been high level because he aced the host pretty quick while I tangled with the gold guy. Inbetween the first failed runs and that victory I waited on a cliff and then just jumped off when they showed up because I knew I couldn't win.

PVP is frustrating and sometimes glorious. I like fighting people that are obviously my level. Fighting guys with friends that have cleared the forest so theres no NPC help sucks.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Teenage Fansub posted:

How the heck do I get through to talk to the forest covenant when all the members are trying to kill me?
I'm guessing those are real people.

They are NPCs, youtube darkroot farming. You pull them all to the entrance and make them run off the cliff. Then you go to the building straight ahead from the entrance and find Alvina. Say yes yes and then they wont attack you anymore.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
Just had the best cat ring invasion ever. Ran around for like 15 minutes, couldnt find the guy. So I chill out next to all the NPCs and just do something else. Every once in a while I look up to see if the guy is coming to gank me but nothing. Then another guy shows up. I shrug and point around trying to say 'Who fuckin knows?' So he runs around for like 30 minutes. I finish what I am doing and point somewhere and start running. We are going together and circle back around to the beginning area. I start hacking trees. One of the trees comes to life and changes back into the player. He was disguised as a shrub the entire time. He had some crazy fat armor and was pretty beastly, but eventually we kicked him off the cliff.

Also had another one of those gang bang sessions with a golden summon where they camped all the invader spawns. I finally escaped upon spawning and ran down the ladder next to the river. I waited there for like an hour when finally the golden summon climbs down and squeeks by the ledge to where I am hiding. Kicked him right into the river. Would have had the host too but he got some laggy hit on me where it took all my life despite my shield being up :\

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
Ran into first hacker maybe??? He can roll consecutively hella fast in medium armor with a shield and a daemon great hammer or whatever from the asylum demon and can't be backstabbed and can do a full 5 swing combo with claymore and then roll 3 times and also he takes no damage.

Either hacking or he is like SL1000000 and I'm 30 and poo poo.

edit: The ninja NPC backstabbed him and it did zero???? I hit him with lightning spear for zero, bleed proc dagger for zero. I just hid and he went and fought Sif.

Jerkface fucked around with this message at 04:46 on Oct 15, 2011

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

lohli posted:

360?


Talk to the guy at the top of the parish for purging stones, 4k a piece iirc.

Yea I'm on the 360. I guess if he had stamina shield (not sure what it looks like) havels ring and maybe like a stamina ring/hat(??) he could roll around. Really high stats + iron flesh maybe make him invincible? What game mechanics would have a player do literally zero damage to a player in a vulnerable state.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
Just hid by the river in darkroot for like 30 minutes as I watched invader after invader get killed by PC+summons. Eventually the PC wandered down and I emerged from hiding to force push him into the river :q:

I think force push + a slow (stonesword or that miracle?) might be one of the better ways to handle PCs that are way over your level. Force them to fight near a cliff then push them off of it. You can mash the miracle so theres almost no recovery time.

Jerkface fucked around with this message at 06:29 on Oct 15, 2011

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

FisheyStix posted:

And while you're at it, tell me if there is anything to get in the Forest Hunter covenant past the fog ring?

Only the love and respect of Alvina. I've got probably 20 kills today and she doesnt say anything new.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
Anyone have a good spot for dropping a summon sign on gaping dragon? I am SL32 and I previously posted about how often I got pulled for Capra Demon. Not being summoned at all for an hour and a half is a strange feeling :ohdear:

The depths is so confusing I dont even know how to describe where I am. I dunno if there are multiple entrances to the boss but I'm dropping it right at the top of a stairway that leads down to a fog door on the lowest level of the boss room. Its 2 levels below where the mage guy is you gotta kill.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Shalinor posted:

After running back and forth for ages in the slime hallway, and getting not a single shard drop, I am calling bullshit on that being a decent farming area. Yes, they drop the green ones, and I guess another type, but it looks to be a ridiculously rare drop. I even popped 2 humanity items to try and improve my odds, but nada.

Maybe that changes later when you have the ring that boosts drop rates, but by then, you've probably got access to better farming areas anyways.

Just FYI I've cleared the bonfire slime hallway twice as a hollow with 30 liquid humanity and got 2 green shards each time. Item discovery was around 200

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

ConfusedUs posted:

There's flash of light and the bush turns into my target. He'd been hiding with that awesome spell that disguises you as random poo poo! Unfortunately, he's got the fog ring on and I can't target him. I get a couple good swings in but he ends up setting me on fire and one-shotting me.

Five minutes later, I get notice that I'm being summoned to invade again.

It's the same guy! This time I know what to expect, so I find a bush that looks different. I throw a fireball at it, and sure enough, there's a scream and a flash of light.

I still can't target him, though, and he wins. I hate the fog ring so much.

I had that happen to me a few days ago, posted about it in this very thread, it was very funny. We won though :smug: Kicked him off a cliff.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Zebrasectomy posted:

Has anyone on Xbox come up with the 30 souls needed to get to Rank 2 in the Daughters of Chaos covenant? If so, how did you get that much humanity? I'm having no luck with co-op or invasions, and rat farming hasn't turned up anything either.

Im at 41 liquid humanity now from COOPing bosses on Xbox. I am getting summoned regularly right now for gaping dragon at SL32. Before that at the same SL I got summoned really regularly for Capra Demon. Its a good way to play the game for 10 minutes at a time. Just sit and wait for summons, beat boss, go back to doing real life stuff.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
I am trying to do coop Iron Golem and this is the worst. I either glitch and fall through the floor when I shouldn't, or watch as the host gets 2 shot off the edge EVERY. TIME. I've beaten it 4 times and like 90% of the other times is the host getting pushed off the ledge. And so few summon iron tarkus even after I show them where :(

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

MZ posted:

2. What stats should I be leveling first, I've sunk a fair amount of souls into endurance & less into vitality but I haven't really upgraded anything else yet...

3. That Dragon on the bridge, I saw a message saying to shoot the tail, can I kill it this way or will it take hundreds of wooden arrows? Should I be doing something else?

4. Is there anything I should really buy form the merchant in the Undead Burg?

Cheers

2. Endurance, Vitality, Strength, Dex are all good if you're gonna bash things. Grab some attunement and basic levels in int and faith if you wanna cast spells. I would grab attunement even if you are melee because having pyromancy and a basic miracle like Heal is great.

3. Shoot the tail with arrows from under the bridge and you get a cool sword. Shoot the dragon in the head from the black knight tower to kill him in 1 shot.

4. Repair box. Arrows. Bombs.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
pro tip for iron golem runs, Chaos Storm staggers the golem with 1 cast. Making these coop runs a lot easier!

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

Penny_Dreadful posted:

In his world he has already dispatched Gwynevere, which is why Anor is dark. It was his primary motivation. Remember Solaire telling you that timelines and dimensions are warping in and out like crazy in Lordran. He is not just standing around waiting for invaders, he is there doing the business, slaying O&S, and killing false Goddesses, or weird Princes.

Solaire's bit about the timelines was pretty cool and I wish there was more about that. Like how you can simultaneously summon people to help you only to find their long ago withered corpses in your world.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

swamp waste posted:

The whole thing of different worlds actually is a plot mechanic and it gets Real weird if you try to figure it out. Like, for example, in your world Tarkus and Beatrice are specifically referred to as dead, but they're still alive and unhollowed in their own respective worlds, just like other players are. So are Solaire, Lautrec, etc special because their worlds intersect with everyone's, or are you supposed to disregard that because obviously they can't have different NPCs for every copy of the game, or maybe you just don't worry about it.

I think Tarkus, Beatric, etc's worlds are also intersected like Solaire and Lautrec, just at a point in the timeline where those heroes have already fallen. Lautrec is in your world briefly, fucks poo poo up, but then is back in his own world. Tarkus is dead in your world at the point of intersection, but alive and working towards his death in his own.

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

HondaCivet posted:

Is that supposed to be Ornstein?

Now that I think about it, why didn't we get any mounted enemies? Knights normally rode horses most of the time, hence being able to battle while wearing a full suit of armor.

Prolly because all the original knights were giants and i have yet to see any giant horses

Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib

HondaCivet posted:

Ornstein isn't a giant is he?

Hell, I am kind of confused about what is a "giant" in this game.

All the original Gwyn knights were giants. All the black and silver knights tower over your guy and are clearly not 'human'. Anor Londo is built to proportions that are bigger than normal (except the railings? :psyduck:) They giant.

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Jerkface
May 21, 2001

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?

Fallen Rib
nooooooooooooooooooooo now i will never get to know how cool the ring shield was :(

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