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Am i over reacting here? My brother and his girlfriend are visiting for a few days during thier winter break. Ive been full time and have had my mother using my new name for a few months now. The thing is, she doesnt want to use it in the company of my brothers girlfriend, so all i hear is 'old name' and he/him/his all the time from her and my brothers (who both know). I am also just being a giant pussy and only correcting them in a soft voice, if at all. This really hurts, and ive been crying myself to sleep for the first time in months because of it, as it seems to me that my mother is only accepting of me when it is convienent for her. Am i being selfish and overreacting here?
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 04:53 |
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| # ? May 25, 2013 05:51 |
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Pi Soup posted:How do other transwomen deal with getting electrolysis after changing presentation? I'm tentatively planning on changing my presentation at work in March and still have a chunk of facial hair left. Growing it out for the couple days beforehand isn't a problem now since I can just present male everywhere, but if I'm presenting female at work that won't be viable. Do I just have to deal with being a bearded lady a couple days a week? You can cover pretty significant facial hair with makeup if you use concealer and full foundation. That's probably your best bet. It's also not unheard of for women to have problems with facial hair, especially if they have hormonal imbalances or whatever.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 04:55 |
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Watermelon Daiquiri posted:Am i over reacting here? My brother and his girlfriend are visiting for a few days during thier winter break. Ive been full time and have had my mother using my new name for a few months now. The thing is, she doesnt want to use it in the company of my brothers girlfriend, so all i hear is 'old name' and he/him/his all the time from her and my brothers (who both know). I am also just being a giant pussy and only correcting them in a soft voice, if at all. This really hurts, and ive been crying myself to sleep for the first time in months because of it, as it seems to me that my mother is only accepting of me when it is convienent for her. Am i being selfish and overreacting here? Nope. Correct them louder. This is bullshit.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 04:59 |
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Watermelon Daiquiri posted:Am i over reacting here? My brother and his girlfriend are visiting for a few days during thier winter break. Ive been full time and have had my mother using my new name for a few months now. The thing is, she doesnt want to use it in the company of my brothers girlfriend, so all i hear is 'old name' and he/him/his all the time from her and my brothers (who both know). I am also just being a giant pussy and only correcting them in a soft voice, if at all. This really hurts, and ive been crying myself to sleep for the first time in months because of it, as it seems to me that my mother is only accepting of me when it is convienent for her. Am i being selfish and overreacting here? This makes me angry. I have gone through a couple drafts of this but I decided against posting in a rage. If someone's actions are making you so upset that you cry yourself to sleep then you need to discuss it with them. You're not a freak, you're her daughter, and she owes you at least an explanation.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 05:06 |
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Lyesh posted:You can cover pretty significant facial hair with makeup if you use concealer and full foundation. That's probably your best bet. Zooey Deschanel 
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 05:07 |
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That is what my upper lip looks like, except that I have darker hair (I don't bleach the hair because I have olive skin), and I've also got a pretty significant amount of hair under my chin. And it grows fast enough that I need to shave daily and/or pluck a couple of times a week if I want to be baby smooth. Seriously, testosterone is the devil. So yeah, no one is going to be staring at your face looking for the tiniest trace of facial hair, and if you've been getting electro and/or laser, its entirely possible you aren't the hairiest chick at your workplace anyway. Not that facial hair doesn't suck, because it does. Hardcore. But you aren't alone.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 16:13 |
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Speaking of facial hair removal, I just got back from an IPL session and loving HELL, IT HURTS! Any advice on how to stop the burning? I'm dabbing it with a wet rag that has ice inside, but it's a very temporary relief before the heat rushes back in.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 16:58 |
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Latin Pheonix posted:Speaking of facial hair removal, I just got back from an IPL session and loving HELL, IT HURTS! Any advice on how to stop the burning? I'm dabbing it with a wet rag that has ice inside, but it's a very temporary relief before the heat rushes back in. My technician applies aloe vera gel straight after the session and recommends I do it at home. It is nice and cool but I can't say it has ever been that unbearable anyway
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 17:28 |
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Seconding that. I just had my fourth laser session yesterday, aloe is absolutely wonderful. I keep it in the fridge a day before, and it makes me forget the pain within a few hours. Also, hi, this is my first post I think in these threads. Even just as a lurker, it has been a great reminder that not everyone in the world will be terrible to me. I'm two months into HRT and getting more and more adventurous with my presentation in general, though I wish I had the guts to get a more feminine haircut.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 19:30 |
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Yeah, mine did too, I don't know if I'm being a drama queen, whether my black hair/palest white skin combination means I get more heat in my skin or if I just have a lower pain threshold, but it hurt like hell, mostly a burning pain from being indoors. It's just my second session though, so I think I still have a lot of hair to remove and this session's pain went away much quicker than the previous one's (the last one took well over 6 hours to finally subside)
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 19:36 |
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Latin Pheonix posted:Speaking of facial hair removal, I just got back from an IPL session and loving HELL, IT HURTS! Any advice on how to stop the burning? I'm dabbing it with a wet rag that has ice inside, but it's a very temporary relief before the heat rushes back in. General consensus is that IPL is a scam, too - if it works for you, that's awesome, but otherwise you might want to save your money for laser.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 19:43 |
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I did several rounds of laser, because my combination of dark hair and light skin made it very effective. I could probably stand to get the stragglers with electro sometime, but I haven't put it on any priority. To me, aloe helped a lot, as did regular painkillers before and afterward. Just keep in mind that the pain you're going through is going towards something. It'll be worth it in the end.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 19:59 |
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Collaterly Sisters posted:General consensus is that IPL is a scam, too - if it works for you, that's awesome, but otherwise you might want to save your money for laser. Uh what? The general consensus I am aware of is that they are roughly equivalent. Home IPL units are lightbulb-in-a-box scams, but the proper machines that salons use have plenty of solid science behind them.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 20:11 |
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IPL works but it's generally considered to be not that permanent and also of questionable effectiveness on facial hair. I'd really go for laser.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 21:24 |
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Latin Pheonix posted:Speaking of facial hair removal, I just got back from an IPL session and loving HELL, IT HURTS! Any advice on how to stop the burning? I'm dabbing it with a wet rag that has ice inside, but it's a very temporary relief before the heat rushes back in. What is IPL vs just Laser Hair Removal? I have checked out a couple of places around here and they just offer Laser Hair Removal.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 21:30 |
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One uses a xenon flash lamp, the other uses a sweet pew-pew laser. I've tried both and so far laser has done a much better job, but is more expensive.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 21:49 |
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IPL is pulsed [incoherent] light, whereas laser is laser (of a single wavelength). The theory is, as laser is light of single wavelength, they can specifically 'target' hair, and reduce the trauma to the skin and other areas versus IPL. I don't know if it varies by state, but there doesn't seem to be any regulation on what can be called "Laser Hair Removal." You pretty much just have to check web sites or call them and ask the brand of laser they use. Oh, and if anyone doesn't really have that much facial hair, it might be more cost effective to just do electrolysis.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 21:49 |
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Julie And Candy posted:One uses a xenon flash lamp, the other uses a sweet pew-pew laser. I've tried both and so far laser has done a much better job, but is more expensive. One charged around $3,000US for as many sessions as you can fit into 12 months with free lifetime touchups. They also offered 12 month no interest financing. Unfortunately, they are about 25 miles away. The othe place sold a package of 5 sessions for around $900US with extra sessions coming at $75US a pop. This place is around 5 miles from my house. How often are you supposed to have treatments? I have heard 4 to 6 weeks from the two clinics, but read something online stating every 10 weeks. The second place seems like the better deal even if I will have to pay up front.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 22:19 |
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I'm getting them every 10 weeks myself...
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 22:56 |
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I had my first six monthly, and the last two (oh my god I've had eight oh goodness) at six weeks. I'm not sure what guided my laser guy's choices in either case, probably trying to catch different "waves" of hair growth as things thin out up there. It may also depend on the laser being used.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 23:18 |
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a 12-month all-you-can-take deal is, um. drat. kind of tempting but also ouch ouch ouch
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 23:19 |
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Collaterly Sisters posted:a 12-month all-you-can-take deal is, um. drat. kind of tempting but also ouch ouch ouch Yeah, they were telling me that I could come once a month if I wanted to and it hurt just thinking about it. How much does it hurt anyway? The second place has equipment that shoots out some cold stuff before each laser pulse to ease burning.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 23:34 |
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I don't know if its usable for laser, but there is an anesthetic called EMLA that you can put on before hand that numbs the area. Again, it might be viable for laser, but electrolysis uses it.
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| # ? Jan 4, 2012 23:47 |
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The issue with numbing the skin (and I've heard this from multiple sources) is that you can't calibrate the settings as well since you won't feel pain and they may overdo the POWER LEVELS. Then you wake up next morning and your face is a well-done steak?
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 02:23 |
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Watermelon Daiquiri posted:Am i over reacting here? My brother and his girlfriend are visiting for a few days during thier winter break. Ive been full time and have had my mother using my new name for a few months now. The thing is, she doesnt want to use it in the company of my brothers girlfriend, so all i hear is 'old name' and he/him/his all the time from her and my brothers (who both know). I am also just being a giant pussy and only correcting them in a soft voice, if at all. This really hurts, and ive been crying myself to sleep for the first time in months because of it, as it seems to me that my mother is only accepting of me when it is convienent for her. Am i being selfish and overreacting here? Seconding what onecooldan said. It's your name and who you are. If they can't pay you the simple courtesy of addressing you in the correct way, call them on it.
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 03:07 |
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Caseus Maximus posted:I have been for consultations at two different laser places. I've always only heard 4 weeks between. What does the first place mean by touchups? What means you have to stop going every month after 12 months if its free? $3000 for laser FOREVER sounds like a sweet deal. However a year of the second place would also only cost like $1500, so half? You'll probably need more than 5-12 sessions, from what i have seen and heard, if you have a a lot of dark hair.
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 03:42 |
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Thanks for the responses, everyone. While it was a bit late as my brother and his girlfriend are heading back early tomorrow, I explicitly told the girlfriend earlier tonight, so that removed all reasons not to use my name and P.G.P.s. Now its all up to whether they want to (in front of her, at least for my mom). Also, name changes are seriously expensive...
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 04:32 |
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Caseus Maximus posted:How often are you supposed to have treatments? I have heard 4 to 6 weeks from the two clinics, but read something online stating every 10 weeks. I went every 4 weeks, 10 weeks sounds like asking for trouble (and a waste of the money you'd spend on the year of laser). I did a similar deal (HAGGLE with them, I got them down to $2200, and all I said is "my friend that referred me got this for $2200", but had to pay most of it within a very short timespan without financing) and it worked pretty well, though now I'm looking at getting some electrolysis touch up.
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 06:09 |
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Hi trannies, I'm a futre transboy out of Philadelphia. I'm also about to make my first appointment at Mazzoni to start testosterone therapy. Yes, I've been going to therapy for a number of months now. The most earth shattering thing about the whole situation was when I realized that I'm not exactly a lesbian, but a straight man. I've started to come out to close friends, family, etc. My family was totally weirded out at first, but I know that they love me unconditionally, and are finally starting to come around. Really, they should have known when I proclaimed that I was a boy at the age of five. My long term girlfriend is having mixed feelings about the whole thing. It's not that she's transphobic or anything, she just very strongly identifies as a lesbian and is having issues with the whole labeling thing. Not to mention that her parents will never, ever understand it as conservative Jews. I'm so ready for this though. Time to get on with my life.
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 06:50 |
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timebandit posted:Hi trannies, Don't do that. Won't claim to speak for everyone and opinion certainly varies, but not all of us are cool with with that word. That aside, congratulations. Sounds like you're in a decent place with things; getting therapy, family not abandoning you, partner by your side. Hope it all goes really well for you.
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 12:08 |
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Caseus Maximus posted:Yeah, they were telling me that I could come once a month if I wanted to and it hurt just thinking about it. I posted some before/after stuff in one of these threads, basically it varies a lot. I have a lot of pain and a looooot of redness/irritation that lasts about 5 days, some people have none. I'd say it's worth it! The cold stuff is great, I find that getting kind of stoned before helps a little bit, topical anaesthetic cremes are helpful but not perfect because to actually work you need to be reaching the follicle which is, well, under the skin
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 18:25 |
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Watermelon Daiquiri posted:I don't know if its usable for laser, but there is an anesthetic called EMLA that you can put on before hand that numbs the area. Again, it might be viable for laser, but electrolysis uses it. Yeah, this is what I've used.
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 18:26 |
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timebandit posted:Hi trannies, I'm a futre transboy out of Philadelphia. I'm also about to make my first appointment at Mazzoni to start testosterone therapy. Yes, I've been going to therapy for a number of months now. Congrats! 
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 18:46 |
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Well, less than 48 hours until I become My Family's Biggest Disgrace by coming out to them as trans! And given that members of my family have been offered hundreds of thousands of dollars to share their 100% true stories with trashy daytime talk shows a la Jerry Springer, that's no small feat!  Okay, it's possible I'm being a tad histrionic, but I'm nervous as poo poo. The game plan is as follows: we're having a much-belated Christmas dinner tomorrow evening, and during its wind-down, after everyone's drowsy from the tryptophan, lay it on 'em. Then hop on a bus early Saturday morning and get back home as quickly as possible while it's all sinking in. Post the announcement on my old Facebook, along with a big ol' FAQ I've written for the occasion, and then not answer the phone for about a week as the news reaches my extended family. I'm scared. 
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 19:15 |
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Plom Bar posted:Well, less than 48 hours until I become My Family's Biggest Disgrace by coming out to them as trans! And given that members of my family have been offered hundreds of thousands of dollars to share their 100% true stories with trashy daytime talk shows a la Jerry Springer, that's no small feat! Don't be. You're a lot braver than me; I could never tell all my family at once like thar. Your plan sounds really well-thought out, too. Just stick to it and you'll be fine.
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 19:43 |
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Plom bar we (at least I am, can't talk for all this other riffraff) are here rooting for ya. It sucks, but for better or worse it feels so much better to be open and honest about yourself to everyone.
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 20:19 |
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Plom Bar posted:I'm scared. Good luck Plom Bar! This is very similar to my initial plan (I instead was outed by my sister telling my cousin) and people haven't had the balls to contact me directly about it. Hopefully yours don't react badly!
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 20:25 |
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Plom Bar posted:Well, less than 48 hours until I become My Family's Biggest Disgrace by coming out to them as trans!
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| # ? Jan 5, 2012 21:06 |
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This is the most beautiful letter F I've ever seen in my life. 
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| # ? Jan 6, 2012 01:08 |
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| # ? May 25, 2013 05:51 |
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Plom Bar posted:
If they love you, they won't stop loving you. Best of luck . Nervousness is like, really to be expected. You'll be fine. That's a solid plan.
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| # ? Jan 6, 2012 01:46 |
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