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Sir Quetzal posted:So I got my drains out at the 2 day mark and got to see my beautiful flat chest. I think one of the nipples is like... a cm more to the side than the other and one scar is a cm more centred than the other, but that's so not an issue in my mind. My doctor seems pleased with how it's turning out so far. I still have to wear a tensor 24/7 but not binding-tight and I see him again at the 10 day mark. Oh god I wish I'd gotten my drains out after just 2 days instead of the 5 that it was. What type of surgery did you get? I'm 16 days post-op (keyhole) and I'm too paranoid to stop wearing the uncomfortable compression vest even though I was allowed to stop yesterday.  I feel pretty decent though I'm still fairly bruised and swollen. With my surgery it was mostly lipo, which I've heard can actually be worse than with large incisions.
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| # ? Apr 30, 2012 06:51 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 02:04 |
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Ha, great minds think alike.
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| # ? Apr 30, 2012 06:53 |
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The Duke of Avon posted:Oh god I wish I'd gotten my drains out after just 2 days instead of the 5 that it was. What type of surgery did you get? I'm 16 days post-op (keyhole) and I'm too paranoid to stop wearing the uncomfortable compression vest even though I was allowed to stop yesterday. Double incision. I was small-chested, though, so I guess I had less draining to do than normal with this procedure (my friend who went with the same surgeon kept his for I believe 5 days as well). He originally wanted to do a keyhole/peri combination procedure but my chest got just big enough on T to make that have a chance of not being completely flat.
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| # ? Apr 30, 2012 06:54 |
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Kiwi Ghost Chips posted:I found it. Yep, that is where I saw it too. Pretty neat as well, even though I'm no where close to being able to do that, but someday...
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| # ? Apr 30, 2012 12:38 |
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EBT posted:California also let's you change your legal gender with out surgery, so anyone here can just get the form and have it filled out and be done.
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| # ? Apr 30, 2012 16:56 |
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Gay Abortions posted:Whoa, wait, that's new. How do I get in on that? If you were born in California, you can get a new birth certificate after "clinically appropriate treatment" as determined by your doctor. http://www.courts.ca.gov/1105.htm
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| # ? Apr 30, 2012 17:04 |
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I think this makes the first time I've ever been happy to have been born in California.
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| # ? Apr 30, 2012 17:19 |
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Kiwi Ghost Chips posted:If you were born in California, you can get a new birth certificate after "clinically appropriate treatment" as determined by your doctor. http://www.courts.ca.gov/1105.htm My roommate, who moved to Cali with me last September got her gender on her license changed with a form filled out by our clinic. And she has not had any kind of surgery yet. EDIT: http://transgenderlawcenter.org/pdf/dl329.pdf Have your doctor fill that out and say what the DMV wants to hear. EBT fucked around with this message at Apr 30, 2012 around 19:29 |
| # ? Apr 30, 2012 19:23 |
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moving from the most lovely, militaristic part of North Carolina back to northern California. Pretty stoked  .
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| # ? May 1, 2012 04:50 |
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True Fayth posted:moving from the most lovely, militaristic part of North Carolina back to northern California. Pretty stoked Fayette'nam/FT Bragg Im guessing... Speaking of California: Im stationed in Miami right now, but I maintain a California Drivers license and I was born there. Is it possible for someone that isnt a current physical resident to have their gender markers changed through the steps in the link above? And does the doctor have to be working in California? I didnt see anything on the link about this stuff, just wondered if anyone had ideas. Oh, and I got my ears pierced; Totally changed the way my face looks for some reason.
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| # ? May 1, 2012 12:17 |
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EBT posted:My roommate, who moved to Cali with me last September got her gender on her license changed with a form filled out by our clinic. And she has not had any kind of surgery yet. What does it mean by your "demeanor"? 
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| # ? May 1, 2012 13:14 |
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Today, if all goes according to plan, I'm coming out to the professor who's most likely to be my doctoral advisor over the next few years. It needs to happen so that if he's got any bad blood against trans folk we can clear the air now and not when I'm working for him, but I'm scared shitless about what the response might be. Anybody have any last-minute advice before I go talk to him?
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| # ? May 1, 2012 13:22 |
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Kiwi Ghost Chips posted:What does it mean by your "demeanor"? Technically? How you portray yourself, probably intended as what we think of as gender expression. Practically? Who cares your doctor is filling out a dumb form that has no bearing on your life other than getting the correct letter on your license.
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| # ? May 1, 2012 15:35 |
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psyopmonkey posted:Fayette'nam/FT Bragg Im guessing... Correct. Really, nobody but people who are -stationed- here should live here IMO.
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| # ? May 1, 2012 15:56 |
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quiggy posted:Today, if all goes according to plan, I'm coming out to the professor who's most likely to be my doctoral advisor over the next few years. It needs to happen so that if he's got any bad blood against trans folk we can clear the air now and not when I'm working for him, but I'm scared shitless about what the response might be. Anybody have any last-minute advice before I go talk to him? Probably too late for advice, but good luck! There's really nothing you can do to effect how he's going to react. Hopefully he won't have any real problems and the worst thing you'll have to deal with are some insensitive questions. I remember feeling sick with anxiety before telling my boss at the time. She ended up being really supportive. There's always that possibility!
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| # ? May 1, 2012 17:13 |
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MILTONS COD posted:Probably too late for advice, but good luck! There's really nothing you can do to effect how he's going to react. Hopefully he won't have any real problems and the worst thing you'll have to deal with are some insensitive questions. Turns out we're gonna talk tomorrow. I know there's a decent chance of him being awesome about this, but I'm still scared shitless.
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| # ? May 1, 2012 17:39 |
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quiggy posted:Turns out we're gonna talk tomorrow. I know there's a decent chance of him being awesome about this, but I'm still scared shitless. Try and channel your fear into incandescent wrath/withering scorn at the thought of someone being a big enough rear end in a top hat as to have a problem with your magnificent self. You're doing something really brave. If things go sour, are you going to be stuck with him regardless?
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| # ? May 1, 2012 19:23 |
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MILTONS COD posted:Try and channel your fear into incandescent wrath/withering scorn at the thought of someone being a big enough rear end in a top hat as to have a problem with your magnificent self. Not necessarily. There's two professors vying for me to work for them. I think I prefer the guy I'm talking to tomorrow, as he's not as much of a hardass and I think cares more about me as a person than me as a body to work in his labs. If this falls through, though, I'll have to talk to the other guy, who's a pretty hardcore Navy man 
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| # ? May 1, 2012 19:31 |
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quiggy posted:Turns out we're gonna talk tomorrow. I know there's a decent chance of him being awesome about this, but I'm still scared shitless. Best of luck! This poo poo is hard.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 02:39 |
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quiggy posted:Turns out we're gonna talk tomorrow. I know there's a decent chance of him being awesome about this, but I'm still scared shitless. I know that in my sitation, it's going to be a loooong time before I'd be able to come out at work. Oh, the joys of working for family.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 02:52 |
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Hey everyone. This is my first post in here so I guess a quick intro couldn't hurt. I'm 29, born male, and living in southern Alberta. Some ambiguous time around the end of last year I stopped questioning and started knowing that my assigned gender isn't quite right. I'm still entirely in the closet, aside from a close friend who I cam out to recently. She was immediately supportive, and I think her support is what finally gave me the courage to suck it up and get on getting happy. I know I want to transition, but I'm not sure if I want to go all the way for SRS. I do know that blending as a woman is a thing I want so badly I can't put it to words. If that means people think "that's a pretty butch lady" upon seeing me, I can probably be happy with that. Anyway, I decided to stop lurking this thread because I had a few questions and despite trying to read the rest of the thread, I haven't seen them answered yet. 1. Body/facial hair. I have it. I'd rather not. In the short term (as in before laser removal is a thing I can afford) am I best off shaving or waxing or what? Are any of those creams like Veet or Nair worth a poo poo? 2. I get that getting on hormones will make me loose muscle mass. Is this going to result in a significant loss in physical strength? I'm mostly asking because my job (I work in a granite shop, for the curious) has a physical component to it, and as willing as I would be to seek different employment to accommodate transitioning, it is a thing I'd like to know about ahead of time. 3. This is the big one. How stupid am I for strongly leaning towards self medicating? I know that therapy is a thing I should peruse, but the thing is that I'm in a hard place financially, and as near as I can tell the cost of a couple hours with a doctor could pay for more than a couple months of pills. So, I'm thinking that while I sort my money issues out and look for a competent therapist, why shouldn't I start trying to make myself more comfortable in my skin? Is this a terribly dangerous idea? So ya. Thanks in advance for any advice on any of these things.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 09:43 |
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Got Moloko posted:I get that getting on hormones will make me loose muscle mass. Is this going to result in a significant loss in physical strength? I'm mostly asking because my job (I work in a granite shop, for the curious) has a physical component to it, and as willing as I would be to seek different employment to accommodate transitioning, it is a thing I'd like to know about ahead of time. Haven't yet tried HRT, but it stands to reason that the muscle doesn't go away overnight. Anyway, if you continue to do all the labor that's kept you in shape thus far, there's a good chance your body will figure it all out for you. You're probably OK on this one, but asking a medical health professional would be great.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 09:59 |
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Molly Millions posted:Haven't yet tried HRT, but it stands to reason that the muscle doesn't go away overnight. Anyway, if you continue to do all the labor that's kept you in shape thus far, there's a good chance your body will figure it all out for you. You're probably OK on this one, but asking a medical health professional would be great. Hah, who ever said I was in shape? "Strong-Fat" is a term that could describe my build. But ya, I didn't think it would just vanish one day. I rather hope that keeping up on the physical work without being flooded with testosterone will result in more total calories burnt. Like, my body will keep up the musculature needed to carry slabs of stone around, but without all the T it'll require more fuel to do so. Though I have no idea what I'm talking about, so who knows. Also, I loving love Neuromancer.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 10:10 |
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Got Moloko posted:1. Body/facial hair. I have it. I'd rather not. In the short term (as in before laser removal is a thing I can afford) am I best off shaving or waxing or what? Are any of those creams like Veet or Nair worth a poo poo? 1. Shaving is fast and, if you're deft with it, irritation-free. People with dark hair can sometimes have a visible shadow even after a close shave due to the remaining hair underneath the skin. Waxing will get rid of that additional hair growth underneath, but can leave your skin irritated (this varies a lot), plus getting your upper-lip waxed will hurt like hell if you have any noticeable moustache. I would be REALLY hesitant recommending a depilatory spray/cream on your face unless it's specifically designed for your face, and even if it is, TEST PATCH maybe on a small spot on the underside of your jaw or something. Most aren't, and chemically burning your face-skins is not something I would be wanting to experience. 2. If your place of work is anything like mine was prior to transitioning, you will have OH&S regs about maximum weights before you have to use assistance tools. For reference, mine was 25kg (call it 50lb). Yes you will most likely lose muscle mass and the ability to push up massive weight. No it will probably not dramatically impact your work performance if you continue to do the work while transitioning, since you're literally exercising the muscles you need to perform the task. And if you're exceeding OH&S limits then you're likely to hurt yourself with or without HRT at some point. So, in short, yes, but it probably won't be a problem. 3. Self-medicating is something you need to determine for yourself. It's very dependent on the resources available in your area, how committed you are to physically transitioning, and all that stuff. I personally self-medicated, and would go to a GP for referrals for blood-tests and the like, until I was able to see a therapist and get a legitimate script. That worked for me, but I was of the mindset that it was temporary. Without knowing your area, it's hard to help you with this. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE for the love of god make sure SOMEBODY is monitoring your health if you choose to self-medicate, this means telling a GP you are self-medicating. At the risk of over-generalizing, therapy is useful even if you are committed already if you can find a competent, experienced therapist THAT YOU LIKE, and it gets you 'in the system', and able to pursue further steps like surgery in due time. But your health comes first; there is no benefit to self-medicating if doing so results in serious health complications. You can always earn more money, so if it is purely an economic decision, please suck it up, eat the cost and see the experts you need to see.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 10:33 |
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Before I started my transition I would not have said this. Self-medding is really something I have a hard time justifying. I started transitioning without hormones, followed a monitored regiment for a while, and I'm off them for now while I'm sorting out my financial life; even so I'm beginning to get back to a point where I feel like I can go full-time, even if I don't go back on hormones first, because they're only one aspect of transitioning as a whole. Before I started hormones I was the picture of health. When my bloodwork came back, my doctor found an abnormality with my liver. Not a contraindication, but it meant starting out on a low dose and keeping a close watch on my health going forward. If I had self-medded I could have seriously screwed myself up, especially since pills hit your liver harder than shots. I would not have known there was any problem if I hadn't specifically gone in to have my liver and other vitals checked. You could have something else hiding in the woodwork. I can't think of a non-sappy way to put it. Hormones are kinda a big deal. Would you ever consider self-medding on SSRIs? Because they're about the same level of seriousness, as far as risks and mood/personality changes can go. Aaa I lopped off a kinda condescending conclusion it's late and I have insomnia sorry Silver Alicorn fucked around with this message at May 2, 2012 around 11:17 |
| # ? May 2, 2012 11:02 |
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Self-medding isn't something I'd recommend, but it depends a lot on the severity of physical dysphoria. After all, it beats offing yourself. I caved after two years of gently caress all progress towards a prescription, in part because the involved therapists overestimated my social dysphoria and underestimated my physical dysphoria, and thus weren't satisfied with the "progress" I made without medical help. For me, getting my body under control was absolutely vital, while I found their focus on gendered expression useless and kind of offensive. But again, I didn't do this until it was that or nothing, and I made sure to have as much as possible worked out beforehand. I do have a prescription now and it was a ton of weight off my shoulders, even if it's for exactly what I'd already been taking. If it's not a matter of needing HRT to keep going, therapy is probably both safer and a better long-term investment. If you do decide to self-med, take every precaution.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 12:08 |
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I can't advise for self medding without proper medical supervision of things like your liver function. As far as psychological effects , you need to be pretty loving sure you won't go off the deep end because of it. If you start feeling regrets , stop.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 15:02 |
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I'm in about the same situation as to economics, and haven't been able to start HRT as a result. Can't imagine self-medding, though; it just isn't safe. In time, I'll be making more money and can get it done the right way - money problems are a lot easier to deal with than potential health issues, in my mind, and there's a ton of other things I can do in the meantime to make me look more like my real gender.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 15:49 |
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Self medding is easily justified by a mix of economics, access to care and basically not wanting to hate yourself and feel borderline suicidal anymore so you can kind of function normally. Though it's definitely something not to be taken lightly and people definitely need to research hormones, potential side effects, how to spot them and and not think it's a good idea to say dive into 10mg of estradiol a day. I mean self medding isn't "safe", but it's also usually not dangerous if done with a level head and a basic amount of research, especially if you can afford to at least go to an endo once in a blue moon to have hormone and other levels checked out.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 16:56 |
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Nick at Nite posted:I'm in about the same situation as to economics, and haven't been able to start HRT as a result. Can't imagine self-medding, though; it just isn't safe. In that respect it's not a lot more dangerous than being prescribed hormones by a doctor; self medders who have done their research take the same bog standard drugs and dosages that they provide anyway. The dangers increase if you are older or smoke or are obese and especially if you have an existing condition like an allergy or prolactinoma, but just as you are convinced it's not safe, i'm convinced that self medding has saved a lot more lives in this high depession/suicide rate demographic than it has harmed. Older transitioners in the community especially have been brought up to loathe and fear self medding and in turn scare the living poo poo out of newcomers, call it illegal, horribly dangerous and so on. It shouldn't be done for a lifetime, but as an alternative to tearing yourself apart because of months or years of having to live with the wrong hormones in your body? The risks are really are not high enough to advise against it.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 17:22 |
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Amused to Death posted:Self medding is easily justified by a mix of economics, access to care and basically not wanting to hate yourself and feel borderline suicidal anymore so you can kind of function normally. Though it's definitely something not to be taken lightly and people definitely need to research hormones, potential side effects, how to spot them and and not think it's a good idea to say dive into 10mg of estradiol a day. You've just described me perfectly.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 17:28 |
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Amused to Death posted:Self medding is easily justified by a mix of economics, access to care and basically not wanting to hate yourself and feel borderline suicidal anymore so you can kind of function normally. Though it's definitely something not to be taken lightly and people definitely need to research hormones, potential side effects, how to spot them and and not think it's a good idea to say dive into 10mg of estradiol a day. Probably the only real danger is, as Silver Alicorn mentioned, something unexpected that means you won't necessarily react well even to a minimum recommended dosage. It's one of those possibilities that can be too easy to ignore on the basis that "it won't happen to me", but you never know. You can still minimize that risk, though, by having your liver checked, risk of blood clots, etc. Slave posted:but just as you are convinced it's not safe, i'm convinced that self medding has saved a lot more lives in this high depession/suicide rate demographic than it has harmed. And this is why a blanket condemnation of self-medding is dangerous. It's a last resort, but it's a life-saving one. I can personally attest to that, having been on a downward spiral until the sheer confidence of not having my body working against me brought me back on track. I don't want to think about where I'd have been today if it wasn't for that.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 18:04 |
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Thanks for the feedback everyone. So the overall message I'm getting here is that self-medding should be left as a last resort. Thankfully I'm not that close to the edge. This really is primarily an economic decision for me, so this:Vindicator posted:You can always earn more money, so if it is purely an economic decision, please suck it up, eat the cost and see the experts you need to see. Plus my work benefits will kick in this summer and I should be getting a raise on my next paycheck, so that should help with the cost. So back on the subject of hair: I'm going to go with shaving for now, but can anyone recommend products? All I have is some cheepo disposable razors right now, and I suspect there'll be something better for my skin but I don't know the first thing about women's shaving products. Also, is there some special technique for shaving one's back? I'm not ultra hairy, but there is a patch between my shoulder blades that is very visible. As for work and weight limits and such, in short yes we do have max limits for what we should be carrying. At our shop it's around 100lbs before you're required to use the crane or get another pair or hands to help. But absolutely nobody thinks less of you for using assistance well below that, and I have no issue with asking for help if I need it. I've hurt my back and knees in the past, and I'm in no rush to do it again. Thanks again. You all are pretty invaluable. Reading through this thread and seeing other people's progress is really inspiring.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 19:06 |
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I get that, don't mean to discount it; that said, it's not right for me!
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| # ? May 2, 2012 19:09 |
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Got Moloko posted:So back on the subject of hair: I'm going to go with shaving for now, but can anyone recommend products? All I have is some cheepo disposable razors right now, and I suspect there'll be something better for my skin but I don't know the first thing about women's shaving products. Also, is there some special technique for shaving one's back? I'm not ultra hairy, but there is a patch between my shoulder blades that is very visible. Better blades really do make a big difference, especially on sensitive areas like the face. I wouldn't recommend any depilatory creams on the face, but some people tolerate them ok. For me, it feels likes acid and gives a similar result. However, Nair and the like work pretty well on the back and you can use a lotion applicator to apply it if you don't have a friend to reach all the hard-to-get spots. Edit: Probably don't need to mention this, but just in case: If you have long hair, make sure you put it up so it doesn't dangle into the lotion. It wrecks head hair just as effectively as body hair.  V Not everyone with a Y chromosome has thick hair. It works for many people, but not everyone. I've seen it work on very bearish folks if applied thick and left on long enough. The problem with it tends to be more about skin irritation than effectiveness. And it isn't as good as wax, but wax hurts like hell and is hard to do to your own back. People should try a variety of techniques and figure out what works best for them. There's nothing that works for everyone. Karma Monkey fucked around with this message at May 2, 2012 around 20:09 |
| # ? May 2, 2012 19:44 |
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Anyone with thick hair (all those with a Y chromosome) will have a hell of a time with Nair. I had little to no success with that crap and I can't recommend it to anyone.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 20:04 |
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Talked to my likely doctoral advisor today about the whole trans thing, and he was totally cool about it. He asked a few questions, mainly related to how I thought it would impact my work, and then we went on to talk about optical transistors for like 20 minutes. Awesome. onecooldan posted:Anyone with thick hair (all those with a Y chromosome) will have a hell of a time with Nair. I had little to no success with that crap and I can't recommend it to anyone. I highly, highly recommend dropping the $20 or so on a buzzer. I had very thick hair on my legs, but it pretty much fell off when I buzzed it. Just be careful not to give yourself bad razor burn like I did.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 20:29 |
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Got Moloko posted:
Cis wellwisher chiming in here. Check out the women's weightlifting thread in W&W for questions about strength. TLDR version is yes, you can still be strong. You won't be as massy, but women can still be crazy strong without the kind of bulk that men gain.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 22:58 |
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quiggy posted:Talked to my likely doctoral advisor today about the whole trans thing, and he was totally cool about it. He asked a few questions, mainly related to how I thought it would impact my work, and then we went on to talk about optical transistors for like 20 minutes. Awesome. Cool, what are you going to be researching?
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| # ? May 2, 2012 23:03 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 02:04 |
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slinkimalinki posted:Cis wellwisher chiming in here. Check out the women's weightlifting thread in W&W for questions about strength. TLDR version is yes, you can still be strong. You won't be as massy, but women can still be crazy strong without the kind of bulk that men gain. Yep. I still have a 200 lb deadlift.
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| # ? May 2, 2012 23:03 |
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