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Watermelon Daiquiri posted:Is it the rc dallas one?
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| # ? May 26, 2012 12:44 |
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| # ? May 25, 2013 12:40 |
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Dispari posted:Yeah, it is! It's a good group of people. For once I was the oldest one at a group, instead of the youngest. Good!  Feleshia recommended them as she won't have a group when I'm in town. I might have to check it out. Is it what's mentioned on the web site that meets at la Madeline or whatever?
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| # ? May 26, 2012 13:28 |
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So I've got a small question I'm hoping someone can help me. I'm going to NYC together with a friend in a couple of weeks, and while my own gender issues aren't immediately visible or anything my friend is FtM in transition and hasn't changed his name or renewed his passport / ID yet. So as a result he looks like a guy, goes by a guy's name and everything but has a passport saying he's female and has another name (the picture is also probably a bit different from how he looks now, although he hasn't shown me so I don't know exactly how much). We're traveling from Sweden which is part of the Visa Waiver Program, so on the bright side we haven't had to apply for proper Visas and getting applied for ESTA was easy. The less bright side is that the info I can find on the VWP is that airport personnel can basically refuse us entry into the country for any reason they desire. Basically I'm worried that someone might cause trouble for us on account of my friend's gender situation. Is that warranted or should I just relax?
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| # ? May 26, 2012 16:32 |
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I was in the same situation when I travelled to the US (Dallas Fort Worth to be exact) except I'm MtF but I had no problems whatsoever. The TSA agent did call his supervisor but everyone was super friendly and I explained the situation and they let me through. I did have a passport with fingerprint data saved on it though so that might have helped convince them that this was actually my passport.
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| # ? May 26, 2012 16:52 |
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I visited the US last year and had every nook and cranny of my luggage manually searched by this burly guy who was constantly looking up to ask invasive questions and just generally glare at me, but he didn't even comment on my legal sex or the HRT pills I had with me. I was seriously amazed and confused at the same time. I think I might have just gotten incredibly lucky with a TSA agent who actually knew about and understood trans stuff. Even if you aren't quite that lucky, so long as you and your friend are willing to take some time to explain what's going on, I doubt you'll have a problem unless the place is staffed entirely with massive dicks.
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| # ? May 26, 2012 17:15 |
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I'm flying into Austin via NYC from the UK in 10 days and I'm just gonna go in drag and save myself getting hassled. I plan to load up on benzos from my doctor so If I am unfortunate enough to be groped I won't even be there! It'll be like that scene in 28 days later where they are expecting to get raped so they are both swallowing loads of valium.
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| # ? May 26, 2012 17:18 |
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Names are rough. Also, It turns out my parents' insurance will cover hormones and the endocrinologist appointment(s), but I... don't know if they'll get any notifications about what I'm using the insurance for. Hnnngh.
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| # ? May 26, 2012 17:21 |
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Watermelon Daiquiri posted:Good! I don't know much about the group since I've only gone once. But apparently they meet every Thursday night around 8:30. And sometimes more often like on weekends. If you want I can message you with the Facebook group. But if Feleshia told you about it you probably already know. Their Thursday meetings happen at the resource center (on Regan street) but they're going to Sue Ellen's on Friday too.
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| # ? May 26, 2012 19:50 |
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Teabiscuit posted:like that scene in 28 days later where they are expecting to get raped so they are both swallowing loads of valium. Thread title? Also, goin out in girl-mode today. Totally not gonna blend. Haters gonna hate, but thankfully I'll be surrounded by friends in the goth scene for most of the evening, and these people celebrate androgyny and genderfucking.
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| # ? May 26, 2012 19:57 |
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Woebin posted:Basically I'm worried that someone might cause trouble for us on account of my friend's gender situation. Is that warranted or should I just relax? Since your country of egress is part of the VWP, your passport must contain some degree of biometric data. This sadly probably doesn't actually include your finger prints, and probably just includes some mostly useless junk that won't aid you in this process. My experience so far (4 international trips/8 flights, 75% of which to the USA) suggests you'll face 2 specific types of situation: First will be 'proving your identity', which you'll need to do at the desk if you check in/drop off checked luggage bags, when you enter security, when you board, and when you cross the border into the USA/when you return after you land - the amount of scrutiny at each location varies. Second will be navigating the security checks. Most of what people have posted about so far is to do with navigating security; I think your primary concern here will be his identity, and generally most stories you'll read about are about security - this is hopefully somewhat indicative of how likely you are to face problems (mostly unlikely). You can probably relax but ideally take a few basic precautions first - he may have to spend a lot of his time explaining his situation. I don't have useful direct experience with the identity side of affairs, or at least, the specific situation your friend will be facing. The bottom line is the only thing that will keep you from flying is having tickets in one name and ID in another - make sure that these match. In addition, it is if anything the photo rather than the gender marker which will cause him the most issue, and he needs to be able explain that photographic difference. The only relevant advice I can give there would be the classic - try and make sure he has some documentary evidence (eg a headed note from his doctor?) that he's transsexual and/or undergoing HRT and to take this with him in his hand luggage just in case he needs it: you don't normally have access to your checked baggage until you clear the border when you land. In addition, if he's taking needles etc, have the prescription with them. You've probably already thought about doing this letter business, though. If I was a border guard, one question I would probably ask him is how he intends to adequately finance his flights + time in the USA if he's unable to obtain appropriate identification for when he travel internationally - the cost of updating your passport is not a very good reason for not having done so compared to eg the cost of flying to the USA or a hotel stay, but the cost of having to obtain multiple passports over a short period of time sort of would be, so, I'd try be be prepared to have some decent answers for them on that front. PS, just as general advice, print your flight itineraries, or ask the desk staff when you check in/drop off bags to print your itinerary for you. There's no reason to not do this, and it provides some actual tangible proof of your paid-for return flight, providing an expectation that you'll leave the country. Also, really do consider turning up early just in case you do need to get grilled before you leave. There's some further advice here, though that mostly corresponds to US citizens flying. Good luck though, and ideally let us know how it goes.
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| # ? May 26, 2012 20:36 |
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Thanks for all the helpful replies! I'm just gonna quote this one because it brings up the most points I have responses to, but I really appreciate all responses Mastigophoran posted:Since your country of egress is part of the VWP, your passport must contain some degree of biometric data. This sadly probably doesn't actually include your finger prints, and probably just includes some mostly useless junk that won't aid you in this process. As for printing stuff and not having access to checked baggage during the flight / border crossing and all that, I travel fairly frequently so that's all accounted for. It sounds like most of the likely issues are covered in this scenario, and I'm mainly just a worrier by nature. Thanks a ton for the help!
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| # ? May 27, 2012 05:23 |
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Got Moloko posted:Thread title? Good for you. Getting out, blending or not, really helps to allow yourself to begin feeling comfortable in your own skin .. at least, it does for me. It can be hard to get over the feeling that everybody is staring at you, and your outing with friends will really help boost the comfort level.
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| # ? May 27, 2012 21:55 |
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I was trying on a suit for my friends' wedding. It was one of those wide open dressing rooms, so like anyone else I just walked in, put my clothes on the rack, and got the items ready to try on. A wild attendant appeared, and told me that the the dressing room was for women only. I just turned to her and said, "I am". She offered me a private room and I took it. No drama, problem solved, I got a great suit. Edit: Oh, and word got out to my oldest sister, who I don't talk to that often. Her letter to me was wonderful, and I'd like to share it to you. Hopefully it comforts someone out there who's worried about how their family would react. It can go quite well: Big sister posted:Hello my darling [me!], onecooldana fucked around with this message at May 30, 2012 around 05:33 |
| # ? May 28, 2012 08:40 |
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onecooldan posted:I was trying on a suit for my friends' wedding. It was one of those wide open dressing rooms, so like anyone else I just walked in, put my clothes on the rack, and got the items ready to try on. A wild attendant appeared, and told me that the the dressing room was for women only. I just turned to her and said, "I am". She offered me a private room and I took it. No drama, problem solved, I got a great suit. Thank you for posting the letter, it was very sweet. You posted this right when I needed to read something like that, as I will be coming out to my family in the next couple of weeks. I needed to hear something positive like that just now and I really appreciate you sharing that. It seems like in your case that coming out might help bring you closer as family, and I can't help but hope for something similar. It seems really odd to me to think that there could ever be an actual improvement to a relationship after coming out. I suppose that comes from years of fearing it so much, and not any realistic assessment of the possibilities. e: also the other day I had to come out to some friends who I haven't seen in a couple months, and it was all very last minute didn't know I'd be seeing them that night, etc. The weird thing was they had very little reaction, like no significant suprise or questions even. It was on the same level as if I told them I was getting a new TV or that I was painting my bedroom or something. I mean I'm glad they didn't react negatively, so no complaints on that, but I find it odd they took it so casually. Guy Montag fucked around with this message at May 30, 2012 around 07:14 |
| # ? May 30, 2012 07:11 |
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Guy Montag posted:It seems like in your case that coming out might help bring you closer as family, and I can't help but hope for something similar. It seems really odd to me to think that there could ever be an actual improvement to a relationship after coming out. I suppose that comes from years of fearing it so much, and not any realistic assessment of the possibilities.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 12:43 |
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I have a tendency to get super E/N so I will try to keep this brief. Things are going really well with me and my wife. Wife is internalizing the fact that she fell in love with who I am not what I look like. She's starting to understand that even if I didn't know it, I was always a trans woman. Side note: we met over the phone and talked a couple of times for a total of 4 or 5 hours before we ever met in person. She's helped me pick out some jewelry, too. She's still not comfortable enough with the idea of me dressing the part. It's a lot of embedded bias and misinformation to over come and I understand it takes time and much self-reflection. The thing is, we are taking steps, very tiny steps, together and they are all in the right direction.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 13:58 |
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She will get there, just be patient with her: that she's come this far is testament to that fact. My wife is in a similar place to yours, though she's comfortable with me dressing -- not going OUT dressed, but that is much more to do with the shithole rural part of the country we live in right now, and I agree with her. I told her shortly before we got married, and the process has gradually gone from a "I'm okay with it so long as you don't transition" to her full support that I do so, just as soon as I find a job in a better part of the country.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 21:43 |
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So um I watched the second episode of 'Hit and Miss' for shits and giggles and wow.  http://i.imgur.com/ihIlu.jpg , she hits her dick while yelling 'im a real boy'. Perfectly captures trans self loathing ....no wait what the gently caress?:Oh my god , like the next scene is her in a bathtub with the water low for some reason. Her 8 year old son walks in and the camera switches to a closeup of her dick sticking out of the waterline, then to her son, then back again. Teabiscuit fucked around with this message at May 30, 2012 around 23:43 |
| # ? May 30, 2012 23:35 |
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I guess I should stop lurking in this thread and actually say something. So hi, I'm Hiilai and I'm genderless. I'm really lucky to have a very supportive partner. He knew right from the beginning that I'm not an ordinary cis person and helped me to come to terms with my gender. Hell, I'm outside of the whole gender binary and he married me anyway all those years ago. He has never even hinted that I should behave more like my assigned gender should behave (whatever that means), never questioned my uncommon gender identity and encourages me to be who I am. If I only could muster enough strenght to actually come out to everyone else and explain the whole non-binary thing.  I'm already out when it comes to my appearance, but I'm pretty sure no one knows there's a deeper meaning behind it.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 23:48 |
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Teabiscuit posted:So um I watched the second episode of 'Hit and Miss' for shits and giggles and wow. Ugh, I looked at that picture and just got super bummed considering how I might want to transition. Is there anything redeeming about how the show portrays a transgender person? My girlfriend started watching it, and when I casually asked about the plot she just froze up and said to look it up. Not giving me confidence!
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| # ? May 31, 2012 01:09 |
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I got my first laser session done today. It was just a couple zaps at the bottom of my neck for testing, but it wasn't bad at all. In 2 weeks I get to see the hair fall out, so that's exciting. In terms of pain, it did feel like a rubber band snap, but the pain doesn't linger and, for me, was quite tolerable. Hair growth in general has slowed significantly, except for my head and face, so I'm looking more and more like myself with every day.
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| # ? May 31, 2012 02:45 |
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onecooldan posted:I got my first laser session done today. It was just a couple zaps at the bottom of my neck for testing, but it wasn't bad at all. In 2 weeks I get to see the hair fall out, so that's exciting. In terms of pain, it did feel like a rubber band snap, but the pain doesn't linger and, for me, was quite tolerable. Hair growth in general has slowed significantly, except for my head and face, so I'm looking more and more like myself with every day. Well, bear in mind that the sensation will be different on other areas of your face. The more sensitive areas like eg upper lip and around your lower lip tend to hurt a lot more than your neck/sides of face. S'just, y'know, it's probably better to go in there prepared for it to hurt a bit more than that elsewhere, rather than being surprised by it.
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| # ? May 31, 2012 05:12 |
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Teabiscuit posted:So um I watched the second episode of 'Hit and Miss' for shits and giggles and wow. One could say it's rather... *Horatio Caine style sunglasses* ...Shameless. As someone who has it waiting on Sky+, I have no idea of the context of that screenshot even given your explanation. I can't wait till the weekend to discover what the gently caress is up with that.
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| # ? May 31, 2012 06:33 |
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Holy poo poo that show sounds worse than I could have imagined.
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| # ? May 31, 2012 07:08 |
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A couple weeks ago I did a project for my Poli Sci class. The assignment was that, since I've been really low-maintenance for the past few years, I had to spend a week all gussied up. Full makeup, extremely femmy clothing, etc. I figured that since I had been through a lot of gender bullshit in the past, that it would be an easy 25 points. It was... interesting. Because I feel like subjecting you all to my e/n, here is the reflective essay part of the project. --- I transitioned from male to female in 1999. While I was jumping through the legal and therapeutic hoops to get the approvals I needed to get my name, vital records, and body modified to better match my identity, I was expected to take on a whole other set of affectations that I felt were just as alien as the male gender role I was originally expected to follow. My identity is something that I have fairly carefully crafted through a series of analyzing individual traits, checking which ones match my own internal view of myself and which ones don't. I've played by others' rules, and I've also fought bitterly just to be recognized as myself. Over the years, I've become very familiar with the inner workings of gender in society. When I selected this project, I did so because I had been considering a few ideas in modifying my own appearance again. It had been several years since I regularly wore makeup. I had stopped wearing makeup as soon as I felt that I was no longer required to by the circumstances in my life. I thought this would be an opportunity to start taking a bit more pride in my appearance. During the week, I encountered concerns with overcompensation, social expectations, visibility, and a resurgence of a few of the unique problems that I thought I had left behind me. While gender issues certainly affect me, I don't like being perceived by others as transgendered. It may be part of my history, but I'd much rather just life my life as just any other woman. I typically have great reservations in letting my trans status known to others. It's one of those things that people treat me differently once they know, and that it's something that can never be undone. I've seen reactions range from curiosity to tolerance to outright hatred, and I've often preferred to hide under the radar. Similarly, I have a love-hate relationship with some expressions of femininity as well, due to the fact that people seem to be more likely to perceive me as trans when I'm expressing myself in a feminine manner. It places many of us into a Catch-22 of cissexism and cisnormativity. A classmate in one of my other classes, having noticed my makeup, asked me if I was headed to a drag show that evening. I noticed a larger-than-usual number of people staring at me, though I admit it may have just been my own self-consciousness at work. I noticed my own voice sounding a bit different, as though I was afraid of send mixed signals with my speech. When I discussed this project with two other trans women over the weekend, they agreed with me about the same fears I had. It seems that a pressure to be "but not too feminine" quickly internalizes among trans women, rendering them reluctant to express themselves, even in methods that would be perfectly acceptable for women in general to express. In addition to the trans-specific headaches, this experiment also let me place a critical eye on a few of the more classic stereotypes in relationship to gender. During my discussions with friends and acquaintances, I was told of a court case one of my friends helped her sister wage against an auto mechanic who thought the sister was an easy mark. When I went through the security checkpoints at the San Francisco and Seattle airports this weekend, I found that the TSA agents were much more gentle with me than they were with either of my wives (who had dressed less femininely than I had). I even discussed the experiment with somebody who had done the same thing for a class years before. The difference in treatment, even at its most subtle, is always present. To be honest, after my week, I was glad to put away the makeup. I'll keep my usual modes of dress (which may include the occasional skirt) to stay as practical as possible. I may keep the nails though, even if it's just to head off my nervous nail-biting habit. And while I'm still very wary about being too noticed in the realms of being gender-variant or gender-aware, I'm not as afraid to discuss it with those I feel safe enough around. --- tl;dr: I was a pretty pretty princess for a week for my Poli Sci class. It made me feel like I was overcompensating again.
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| # ? May 31, 2012 08:28 |
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RedHotKick posted:Ugh, I looked at that picture and just got super bummed considering how I might want to transition. As long as you don't intend to transition while wearing a giant fake plastic nose I think you'll be fine. It portrays her fairly well just like.. needs to stop doing gratiutious shots of her dilz. I don't think her trans status has been portrayed for intentional laughs yet, even though that scene did have me laughing at the insanity of it. My crying game sense is tingling though and I expect a scene like that within the first series.
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| # ? May 31, 2012 09:02 |
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Teabiscuit posted:As long as you don't intend to transition while wearing a giant fake plastic nose I think you'll be fine. It portrays her fairly well just like.. needs to stop doing gratiutious shots of her dilz. The way a character behaves in a piece of fiction is maybe not as important as how the narrative treats them. If the character was an otherwise fairly-portrayed cis woman and it kept doing gratuitous vagina shots, it probably wouldn't come off as a super sensitive show. Hiilai posted:I guess I should stop lurking in this thread and actually say something. So hi, I'm Hiilai and I'm genderless. Hi! Glad to hear that you've got some support on the home front, and I think a lot of us can sympathize with the Yelling at People About Binaries problem.
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| # ? May 31, 2012 12:22 |
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Molly Millions posted:The way a character behaves in a piece of fiction is maybe not as important as how the narrative treats them. If the character was an otherwise fairly-portrayed cis woman and it kept doing gratuitous vagina shots, it probably wouldn't come off as a super sensitive show. Well normally the narrative treats them poo poo and they act loving terribly so 1/2 is better than 0/2!
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| # ? May 31, 2012 15:53 |
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So I came out to my boss today, and it went so well that I'm still kind of in shock about how fortunate I am to work at such an awesome place. She was incredibly respectful, supportive, and even told me about a transwoman she admired at one of her previous jobs. She's going to go with me when I inform HR, and from there she'll talk with my other supervisors before sending out a mass email. I still can't believe all this is happening -- the past three weeks alone have been lightyears ahead of where I was even a couple months ago. Guess I need to finish up that letter to my parents...
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| # ? Jun 1, 2012 01:11 |
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RumbleFish posted:So I came out to my boss today, and it went so well that I'm still kind of in shock about how fortunate I am to work at such an awesome place. She was incredibly respectful, supportive, and even told me about a transwoman she admired at one of her previous jobs. She's going to go with me when I inform HR, and from there she'll talk with my other supervisors before sending out a mass email. This is very very heartening to hear.
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| # ? Jun 1, 2012 01:16 |
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To the trans girl lurker in the cute black hat who sat next to ~my girlfriend~ at the Trans-Health Conference, could you email me sometime? I'd love to talk. My email's my username @gmail.com. Thanks! -Liz
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| # ? Jun 1, 2012 01:18 |
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http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/...1/19821636.html Considering I self med, and was planning on doing so until I could get some decent insurance, how badly does this affect me? I mean it looks like there is no opposition/reason it wouldn't pass everything, and it looks pretty grim to me, but I don't want to curl up in a corner and start rocking back and forth just yet, considering I might be over reacting.
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| # ? Jun 2, 2012 20:14 |
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Sumec posted:http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/...1/19821636.html This sounds like it will only address when people actually cross borders to get their meds; it sounds like if you are using a mail order pharmacy, you may be able to slip under the radar still. Nonetheless it still bugs me. I've had multiple instances where the mail order has been a godsend fore, both while I was self-messing and when I had a prescription but was just too poor to afford the American brand name drugs.
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| # ? Jun 2, 2012 20:23 |
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It's been nearly a year since I transitioned now... There have been lots of up's and down's. Most of my family don't speak to me anymore, I've had some issues in work, and I've had problems with my old landlord... But you know what? I'm still about a million time's happier than I ever was before, even with the problems transitioning causes and the people I've lost. I've lost quite a bit of weight recently and think I'm looking fairly good. I don't really have any problems passing. My voice is good too because I've spent a lot of time practicing it. I don't think I could pass as a boy anymore even if I wanted to. Anyway, here's a pic of me now... The pic was taken a few days ago.. with messy hair and smudged and faded makeup after being at work all day! But I think the messy hair look looks good :P 
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| # ? Jun 3, 2012 05:10 |
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drat girl, you look great! Definitely a bit jealous now. Heads up though, there aren't always friendly people browsing the thread and they tend to jump on any photos that get posted.
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| # ? Jun 3, 2012 05:20 |
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Salaminizer posted:drat girl, you look great! Definitely a bit jealous now. Only people that look bad , which she objectively does not.
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| # ? Jun 3, 2012 11:24 |
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teh winnar! posted:This sounds like it will only address when people actually cross borders to get their meds; it sounds like if you are using a mail order pharmacy, you may be able to slip under the radar still. Not only may Americans not bring medications across the border, but section 805 of the 296-page bill passed by the House Wednesday authorizes officials to destroy any shipment of prescription drugs valued at $2,000 or less, for any reason. That's pretty specifically not just people crossing the border.
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| # ? Jun 3, 2012 20:52 |
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Having issues with finding uncommon bra sizes at not ridiculous prices. Giant ribcage / no chest etc. Anyone with experience with this I can talk to via PM?Sumec posted:Not only may Americans not bring medications across the border, but section 805 of the 296-page bill passed by the House Wednesday authorizes officials to destroy any shipment of prescription drugs valued at $2,000 or less, for any reason. Christ, god forbid you don't want to get horribly price gouged for something like spiro. Ugh. Spindrift fucked around with this message at Jun 3, 2012 around 21:02 |
| # ? Jun 3, 2012 20:53 |
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Spindrift posted:Christ, god forbid you don't want to get horribly price gouged for something like spiro. Ugh. What are you, a  In a case of coincidental timing, Canadian businesses in BC are complaining about the increase on the duty free limit to 400/800$ for 24/48 hrs, and how that's gonna ruin their businesses. Although it's not quite as simple as that from what I read in the newspaper.
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| # ? Jun 3, 2012 21:39 |
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| # ? May 25, 2013 12:40 |
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Possibly a silly question, but for those of you who wrote your parents a letter, how did you handle things beforehand? "Hey, I sent you an important email, please read it"? It seems awkward to give a heads-up like that, but my parents are not obsessive email checkers in the slightest. I'm not sure how else to let know them know they need to read something.
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| # ? Jun 4, 2012 00:13 |
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