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Aleksei Vasiliev
May 7, 2007

Fuck the cowboys. Unf. Fuck em hard.

What is the most inappropriate thing you have laughed at? (self.AskReddit)

Every wanted to learn more about what redditors find hilarious?

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Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



I am afraid to go into that thread. I fear my heart may not be able to handle the sudden increase in blood pressure.

e: top comment does not fail to deliver.

quote:

[]ptdel 1419 points 4 hours ago
Group therapy in rehab, a girl was basically disclosing how she was raped by her neighbor, the person next to me farted and I was the only one who heard it. Started biting my lip and trying not to laugh so hard I started to cry. Other people in the room thought I was crying because of the story she was telling so they tried to comfort me and I had to go along with it keep from being found out. I'll be in the lake of ice in hell if anybody wants to visit.

They have a hint of self awareness, it seems. Also, apparently farts are the pinnacle of humor, always and forever; appropriate any time, any place, and always funny. Or it could be that this guy is leaving out key parts of his little story and just helping write shitthatdidnthappen.txt in an attempt to be funny.

In short, gently caress tropers redditors.

N00ba the Hutt
Jul 23, 2011

Really, you can't go wrong with a squid wearing a Red Sox cap.


Tony Danza Claus posted:

The thing that always kills me is the persecution complex because you're ALSO a user of the site.

If you're some stupid college kid who thinks rage comics are funny, and you're not a racist, homophobic pedophile, then when someone is pointing out the people who actually ARE, you're not one of them!

SA got in trouble because some nutbar did something illegal and the secret service got involved. But it wasn't me, so I can't, don't, and won't defend or feel marred by that shithead's actions.

Because SA is just a site I use. It's not my identity. I'm not a "we".

I really don't get this team spirit thing with reddit. If you're raising money for charities and posting in one of the (few) good subreddits, good for you. If you're not a pedo, great, you are doing the absolute minimum to not be the worst thing on earth. You're not a "them" when people talk about the shitheads. Why defend them? Because you're a "community" (of millions) (a lot of whom are rapists and pedos)?

And as far as charity by reddit, everyone raises that issue. But not everyone does the actual work or donations. If you aren't one of the contributors, you can't say anything about the "we" in "we did this."

*snip* -------8<-------

TL;DR reddit isn't your family. Defending a website you use is stupid. You can't create a nebulous "we" for the good parts but conveniently distance yourself while screaming "but I wasn't one of the pedos!"
Back a few pages, I know, but I think the thing that gets me the most about the "my website, love it or leave it" attitude is that it's utterly situational. When the Redditbomb was first being deployed, I had a Redditor try to tell me that first off, CP isn't a big deal because it's just a byproduct of an optimal system (I really should dig out that conversation again. Might be amusing for this thread), and secondly, Reddit is just a platform so you can't judge it. The fun part came a week or so later, when his birthday celebration consisted of going to a bar with a bunch of Redditors that he only knew from the site. Pretty sure you don't go out drinking with a platform, champ.

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

Dickeye posted:

Look man don't knock it. It's a staple of modern comedy for a reason.

it's been a staple of comedy for like three thousand years

Jervas Dudley
Feb 18, 2007

Bro and Maplehoof: Go beyond the impossible!


Fun new game, pick a popular thread: Tina Fey on gay people [From Bossypants]

Find uappalling comment:



Click username.

Become unhappy

Literally The Worst
Oct 12, 2007



Awesome Animals posted:

I thought Archer was supposed to be who James Bond actually is if he wasn't so glorified?

Basically yes.

Archer is every James Bond cliche but instead of nobody giving a poo poo that James Bond is a piece of crap, everyone notices and hates him for it.

And that's on top of the rest of the show, which is essentially Arrested Development set in a Cold War/modern day pastiche .

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



Jervas Dudley posted:

Fun new game, pick a popular thread: Tina Fey on gay people [From Bossypants]

Find uappalling comment:



Click username.

Become unhappy

The what "would your mother think?" makes me . This is the same guy that posted about his mother who was dying of cancer and was supposedly out of medical options at this point. This guy started off with a shitbag comment, and someone literally brought his dying mother into it. They went from "completely reprehensible" straight to the bowels of hell in less than 5 posts, without stopping anywhere along the way. I don't think i can even laugh at this, it's too far gone to be funny.

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

That's tragic but i'm having trouble feeling sympathetic for rapeguy there.

amaranthine
Aug 27, 2009
I AM A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING


Minion of Cthulhu posted:

The what "would your mother think?" makes me . This is the same guy that posted about his mother who was dying of cancer and was supposedly out of medical options at this point. This guy started off with a shitbag comment, and someone literally brought his dying mother into it. They went from "completely reprehensible" straight to the bowels of hell in less than 5 posts, without stopping anywhere along the way. I don't think i can even laugh at this, it's too far gone to be funny.

It's also entirely feasible that the person had not checked his post history. "What would your mother think?" is a pretty common follow-up to a comment like his.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



I know this, but it's reddit...so I assumed the worst. The guy is still a complete shitbag, I was more talking about the "mother" response. My expectations for reddit and their ability to have any sort of empathy are abyssmally low.

A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 4039 days!



Miss Andrist posted:

How did the Ron Pals take so long to notice this, seriously

Libertarians not getting why they're so mockable?

I refuse to believe it.

Too Poetic
Nov 28, 2008

by angerbeet


Minion of Cthulhu posted:

I know this, but it's reddit...so I assumed the worst. The guy is still a complete shitbag, I was more talking about the "mother" response. My expectations for reddit and their ability to have any sort of empathy are abyssmally low.
How is he a shitbag for making a comment that he didnt know would be offensive unless he for some reason went through the dudes post history first?

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



Like I said, low expectations for redditors. I figured he would have gone back through the other guy's post history before he replied, mostly because that's what I do to see how serious I'm going to be when I reply to someone there.

Diacritical Mark
Jul 26, 2010



At least no one made a sexual comment about the picture of his mother. Good job, Reddit.

General Panic
Jan 28, 2012
AN ERORIST AGENT


andrew smash posted:

That's tragic but i'm having trouble feeling sympathetic for rapeguy there.

Depressing proof that you can go through crappy experiences and still end up the same old shitbag you were to start with.

The only thing most redditors seem to learn is new and better ways to be horrible people.

A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 4039 days!


General Panic posted:

Depressing proof that you can go through crappy experiences and still end up the same old shitbag you were to start with.

The only thing most redditors seem to learn is new and better ways to be horrible people.

Let's be fair, they also learn jokes so old vaudeville performers were booed off stage for being hackneyed

And there's also r/TodayILearned (that Wikipedia has links).

Bubble-T
Dec 26, 2004

You know, I've got a funny feeling I've seen this all before.

Minion of Cthulhu posted:

Like I said, low expectations for redditors. I figured he would have gone back through the other guy's post history before he replied, mostly because that's what I do to see how serious I'm going to be when I reply to someone there.

They only go through post histories to find gonewild pics of women.

edit: jesus christ i wrote 'females' first what is this thread doing to me.

How are u
May 19, 2005
We will be unified in the trenches of resistance. We will not surrender, we will never surrender to Israeli terror.


Bubble-T posted:

They only go through post histories to find gonewild pics of women.

edit: jesus christ i wrote 'females' first what is this thread doing to me.

Time for a break. Try reading something positive and uplifting for a bit. Might I suggest the Political Cartoons Thread?

A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 4039 days!


nm

linking it here would lead to an mr invasion from our fan club

(a mister found a tiny subreddit for people with a specific problem seeking advice. He proceeds to completely off-topic "what-about-the-menz " all the women there)

the jizz taxi
Nov 9, 2008



Diacritical Mark posted:

At least no one made a sexual comment about the picture of his mother. Good job, Reddit.

She's probably way too old for their tastes anyway.

amaranthine
Aug 27, 2009
I AM A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING


Tony Danza Claus posted:

Let's be fair, they also learn jokes so old vaudeville performers were booed off stage for being hackneyed

And there's also r/TodayILearned (that Wikipedia has links).

I will own up to occasionally loading up r/TIL to feel smart. I don't actually read any of them, I just go down the page and shake my head in amazement that people didn't know some of this poo poo.

e: like, at this very moment, there is "TIL that it is now illegal to wear any sort of face coverings aka Burqa, etc. in France in public due to the fact that it is a "social hindrance within a society"." how the gently caress do you not know that, it was all that news programs talked about for like three months

Aralan
May 21, 2001


amaranthine posted:

I will own up to occasionally loading up r/TIL to feel smart. I don't actually read any of them, I just go down the page and shake my head in amazement that people didn't know some of this poo poo.

e: like, at this very moment, there is "TIL that it is now illegal to wear any sort of face coverings aka Burqa, etc. in France in public due to the fact that it is a "social hindrance within a society"." how the gently caress do you not know that, it was all that news programs talked about for like three months
they already knew it, something just reminded them about it and now they want to talk about how much they hate arabs. Literally the third google suggestion if you type "Burqa" into it is "Burqa ban in France". It's right under "Burqa history" and plain old "Burqa ban"

A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 4039 days!


The main posts are basically free fake internet points.

The comments in TIL are amazing, though. It's like a bunch of people watching Jeopardy and being amazed that all these things are, like, totally actual things!

"OMG the cold war wasn't an actual war?!" was probably my favorite. No, sweet redditor, Red Dawn was a documentary.

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

"Lapdog of the cis- hetero- oppressors"


Tony Danza Claus posted:

The main posts are basically free fake internet points.

The comments in TIL are amazing, though. It's like a bunch of people watching Jeopardy and being amazed that all these things are, like, totally actual things!

"OMG the cold war wasn't an actual war?!" was probably my favorite. No, sweet redditor, Red Dawn was a documentary.

TIL is a circle-jerk of mediocrity. So reddit.

Defenestration
Aug 10, 2006

This title certifies that Defenestration knows something about literature.

Glitterbomber posted:

Basically, like if James Bond didn't live in a world where his misogyny and general sociopathy was glorified. He's an objectively excellent field agent but he's also an horrible douche who has no respect for anyone and has boned a path through the office that means everyone hates him for being such a womanizer and general jerk.
How is he an excellent field agent? His self-absorption gets them found and captured all the time. He leaves big messy trails of destruction in his wake. He gets shot and stabbed multiple times, which he wouldn't survive if he weren't a cartoon character.

Cyrill is a better field agent than Archer, even.

WhiskeyJuvenile
Feb 15, 2002

SIC SEMPER TYRANNOSAURUS


Ray's the only normal person, it seems.

Amarkov
Jun 21, 2010


Defenestration posted:

How is he an excellent field agent? His self-absorption gets them found and captured all the time. He leaves big messy trails of destruction in his wake. He gets shot and stabbed multiple times, which he wouldn't survive if he weren't a cartoon character.

Cyrill is a better field agent than Archer, even.

James Bond also does all those things

McNerd
Aug 28, 2007


Defenestration posted:

How is he an excellent field agent? His self-absorption gets them found and captured all the time. He leaves big messy trails of destruction in his wake. He gets shot and stabbed multiple times, which he wouldn't survive if he weren't a cartoon character.

Cyrill is a better field agent than Archer, even.

Well, he somehow has a reputation as a great agent, and he's good at the action-scene type stuff.

A lot of his shortcomings are also part of the 007 parody, as Bond also constantly gets captured by taking stupid risks and introducing himself by his real name when he's world-famous.

Baruch Obamawitz posted:

Ray's the only normal person, it seems

Well, except the part where he rapes Cyril and it's played for laughs.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.


I'd still like to point out that in spite of pedophiles and human filth, the worst thing about reddit continues to be what counts as "r/funny". The top post there right now is a terrible six panel "comic" where the frames are just stills of celebrities. With exact quotes. That is, to me, the antithesis of creative comedy.

Tatum Girlparts
Sep 8, 2011

More like Tantrum Girlparts!
I can't be smug if I never stop whining.


Defenestration posted:

How is he an excellent field agent? His self-absorption gets them found and captured all the time. He leaves big messy trails of destruction in his wake. He gets shot and stabbed multiple times, which he wouldn't survive if he weren't a cartoon character.

Cyrill is a better field agent than Archer, even.

Well there's stuff like him always being the one who knows how many bullets are left in everyone's gun, his random moment of 'do I have to do everything' in the space episode where he basically solos the entire space station, and he does do poo poo like running along the top of a train and car chases and poo poo. He's a lovely dude but he has random moments of being a good agent.

He gets captured a lot because it's a Bond trope, if Bond would just stay and wait for backup and work as a team he'd never get strapped to a death laser, but instead he runs in like a big macho dick swinger and gets captured. Archer does the same and instead of being praised for his 'cunning escape' he gets mocked and insulted by his peers for being such an arrogant rear end in a top hat.

Same with getting shot/stabbed/punched, Bond gets the crap knocked out of him but walks out and goes right to bed with some lady like nothing happened, Archer gets his rear end shot entirely because he deserves it, often by the closest he has to a 'love interest' in Lana (who he's hosed up with many times by being a terrible bag of poo poo).

I just wrote a lot of words about a cartoon spy.

A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 4039 days!


Glitterbomber posted:

Well there's stuff like him always being the one who knows how many bullets are left in everyone's gun, his random moment of 'do I have to do everything' in the space episode where he basically solos the entire space station, and he does do poo poo like running along the top of a train and car chases and poo poo. He's a lovely dude but he has random moments of being a good agent.

He gets captured a lot because it's a Bond trope, if Bond would just stay and wait for backup and work as a team he'd never get strapped to a death laser, but instead he runs in like a big macho dick swinger and gets captured. Archer does the same and instead of being praised for his 'cunning escape' he gets mocked and insulted by his peers for being such an arrogant rear end in a top hat.

Same with getting shot/stabbed/punched, Bond gets the crap knocked out of him but walks out and goes right to bed with some lady like nothing happened, Archer gets his rear end shot entirely because he deserves it, often by the closest he has to a 'love interest' in Lana (who he's hosed up with many times by being a terrible bag of poo poo).

I just wrote a lot of words about a cartoon spy.

It's cool. Archer totally loving owns.

Pam 4 Lyfe

Defenestration
Aug 10, 2006

This title certifies that Defenestration knows something about literature.

Glitterbomber posted:

I just wrote a lot of words about a cartoon spy.
Ok, I see this point now. I have just been watching too much DS9 lately ( Garak )


And now, let's go find some reddit

Clicked "random" got
http://www.reddit.com/r/popping/

Tatum Girlparts
Sep 8, 2011

More like Tantrum Girlparts!
I can't be smug if I never stop whining.


Defenestration posted:

Ok, I see this point now. I have just been watching too much DS9 lately ( Garak )


And now, let's go find some reddit

Clicked "random" got
http://www.reddit.com/r/popping/

Not clicking because it's either creepy inflation fetishes or zit poppers, either way I'm going to loving puke inherently, let alone reading whatever ways reddit makes it even creepier.

Also DS9 owns, everyone watch DS9.

A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 4039 days!


Popping is stuff like cyst draining.

Don't look if you're easily grossed out.

Oh hey, reddit is broken again!

Revener
Aug 25, 2007

by angerbeet


Glitterbomber posted:

zit poppers

Come on now, they're not just pimple poppers.

They do cysts too

Some thread highlights for those of you with weak stomachs:

Reddit posted:

this one comes with a 'popping' sound. Most satisfying thing I've seen all week

Reddit posted:

almost 8 straight minutes of glorious popping. epic amounts of pus. i'm in heaven.

Reddit posted:

Huge hydrocele (giant fluid filled sac in the scrotum) in a 66 y.o. man. I'm sorry, fellow men, but here's a popping from the boys. 1:40 is the delivery of the giant alien egg and 3:20 is the waterworks. Thanks, India.

I would go into the threads but I'm not sure I want to know.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



That one could have its uses (like desensitizing potential medical staff to the varied fluids that come out of things people fail to/refuse to wash), but I think it's a safe assumption to say that reddit is not using those videos for that purpose. I wouldn't recommend venturing too far into that one, lest you find someone saying (without any hint of irony) "I exploded the same time that zit or abscess exploded/botfly got pulled out of that guy's neck! "

Stultus Maximus
Dec 21, 2009

Whenever I hit "r" in my address bar, Raine Dog comes up. Goddammit.


So much for lunch.
And that's just from what was posted in this thread.

A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 4039 days!


Stultus Maximus posted:

So much for lunch.
And that's just from what was posted in this thread.

Internet veterans and medical staff only:

You should see the cyst drain where it's like a play dough fun factory / sausage grinder. It keeps coming out in this big long faintly green tube.

ovanova
Feb 27, 2012


Best Friends posted:

If someone I don't know puts their hand on my shoulder, I feel like they're either about to try to sell me Avon, or Jesus. Poorly. And I don't generally react with warmth. Yet PUA's think that is like the be-all end-all of creating a good social relationship. It never ceases to amaze me that their entire schickt comes from bad sales manuals and Tony Robbins lectures.
It's an exercise in lack of awareness.... I don't care who you are, if you put your hand on my shoulder like that I am going to feel awkward. I'm not going to tell you I feel awkward, I'm going to avoid expressing it, but I am going to.

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Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Nothing stops this train. We're just getting started.


Tony Danza Claus posted:

Internet veterans and medical staff only:

You should see the cyst drain where it's like a play dough fun factory / sausage grinder. It keeps coming out in this big long faintly green tube.



Jesus christ.

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