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So I just got done with a 3k post binge of this thing because CAD got slow and son of a bitch. This comic should become mandatory reading in creative writing classes when everyone says "I don't need to outline. I know where the story goes." Also this "Larger than life" mage just reminds me of why I hate the majority of nerdy stuff anymore. Mookie believes that the second he calls something awesome or absurd that it is. To him the little pieces of werewolf flying off of these two is an amazing epic display of power. He went with his first idea because he poo poo this comic out in a few hours by himself in his home office. I mean this could be awesome. I'd love to see this story if he approached by having Milov and Katya die. Milov falls first, Katya flips out and before she can murder Jayden for being a slut she dies. College Deegan's vision tells him that the archmage is actually a virus and his magical focus is turning himself into extremely hosed up diseases and infecting an entire population. Snert reveals that he's seen the archmage do something like this before. It turns out the master's favorite form is one that causes a lethal internal injury whenever an infected lycanthrope transforms. Nimmel comes back to find only Jayden standing. She believes his story because after all, he's a man. They learn/reveal that when a spellwolf dies it's traditional for the body to be ceremonially burned with higher ups in werewolf society present. Nimmel guesses that this will allow the Archmage virus to spread all over and wipe out most of the Winter Archipelago. Nimmel begins to scry/read/call the Deegans for a magical fix, leaving Jayden to try and stop the cremation. The problem is she's still hated by the entire populace. But since her faith's magic currently consists of not eating and self healing she has to leave Nimmel to do the spellcraft. Jayden faces a bunch of suspicion about Milov's death, aggression since Luanians aren't allowed in the country, and Mookie's go-to, slut shaming. After a strip or two of this she actually realizes that while she's trying to help and begging the wolves not to destroy themselves all they can do is focus on the time she had sex with Siegfried. At the funeral she pleads one more time before someone calls her a whore or smacks her one last time. She realizes that after all the hell she put herself through and all the good she's trying to do the wolves will never accept or forgive her. She decides that while she has a sacred duty to help them, she doesn't have to like them, or beg for their approval. Her newfound faith in herself overflows her with white magic. To everyone's surprise she actually holds her own and overpowers one or two of the spellwolves before they finally wear her down. Just as she's about to be put down Nimmel or Dominic shows up and explain the situation and reveal the workaround for the infection. Katya and Milov's bodies are sealed up to prevent the archmage from escaping/infecting people. The spellwolf council or whatever tries to apologize to Jayden and invites her to rebuild her church. She tells them that Luana loves and accepts all children of the world. But as far as she(Jayden) is concerned they can go to hell. Dominic makes a lovely pun as Jayden walks off the comic. Is it perfect? Far from it. It's just an outline I poo poo out in 20 minutes. But at least his loving characters would be doing something instead of sitting around and waiting for a Deegan to forgive/save them.
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| # ¿ Apr 17, 2012 08:02 |
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| # ¿ May 25, 2013 08:16 |
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Jesus Christ this comic. If it was your kid it would have a bed wetting problem. So you buy some extra sheets and a plastic liner for the little guy's mattress. You think you've got the problem figured out and then your son sleepwalks into the kitchen and takes a poo poo in the toaster.
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| # ¿ Apr 20, 2012 07:54 |
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It's easier to see the braline he drew Momgan's chest from than the foreshadowing of the Beast. Mookie really can't design a girl unless it's from the tits up, can he?
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| # ¿ Apr 21, 2012 01:47 |
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What really annoys me about this one is it's a gag that South Park uses, but Mookie isn't trying to be funny. I mean you thread veterans can correct me if I'm wrong but did he actually show The Beast and Space Squid throwing down? Since he doesn't know exactly how powerful an Archmage or The Beast is in relation to a student of magic or your run of the mill wizard(magic is just magic teehee) he doesn't know what the Beast killing that Archmage would actually look like. It's also why Dominic scares an unspeakable horror away by wearing a goofy mask. Mookie's mind thinks "like firing a metal concert" is a good description of a rocket launcher. He strikes me as the kind of "ideas guy" you run into that has all these great things he can think of but he can't describe them or translate them to a visual medium at all.
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| # ¿ Apr 21, 2012 09:28 |
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:He's as Italian as Buddy Velastro or the Situation. I rate Italianness on how badly I want to see the person beaten with a baseball bat. I need to believe that Italians react to this kind of poo poo the same way Irish people react to people like Tim Buckley's "Oirish drunk temper" bullshit.
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2012 00:19 |
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"The guy that writes this bullshit posted:A good story is a powerful motivator, but lackluster stories are equally powerful deterrents. He has to be doing this poo poo on purpose, right?
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2012 07:39 |
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I like to think that all these great comic clerk friends and buddies from the burlesque show only barely tolerate Mookie and have explicitly told him not to mention their real names in his lovely webcomic newsposts.
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2012 10:17 |
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colonelslime posted:The point of this was: You ought to feel ashamed for putting Mookie in the same post as Dangerfield.
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2012 09:04 |
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And then he went deep sea swimming with it during the dumb vacation arc. The leg really isn't handicapped in any way.
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2012 04:42 |
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I will say it's loads of fun to pretend that his missing leg and teeth are from sugar rot and diavbetes because Deegan eats nothing but Mavple bullshit.
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2012 05:47 |
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Toes posted:Why not have the Beast\King\Jocks cripple Dominic? Like just have them beat the poo poo out of him. Like for an entire week. And then they infect him with a useless balls curse to rub it in. There. Now Dominic has a reason to go after the evil king beyond 'I must stop you because you are evil.' It would actually be brilliant to have an arc in which The King uses really low rent magic to animate a suit of armor or a basic homunculus. The thing is mindless and only have one goal in mind ever. It just straight up kneecaps Dominic, breaking his good leg. It then steals his fake leg and leaves him crippled in the streets. Any other mage on the planet would be able to just blast the thing but since there's no thought in it Deegan can't pull it into the mindscape or otherwise effect it. His lowest moment is brought about by a spell most mediocre witches and wizards use to do the dishes. Of course that would mean Mookie would actually have to hurt a male protagonist. Which won't happen. I mean isn't Milov already back up to 100% and out of danger?
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2012 10:26 |
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The sad thing is he's actually got the background info to build on examples of WHY having a bunch of seers loving with the future is a bad thing. He could have someone explain that Eldariat: Desert of Slut Deaths and the WILD EDGE were caused by societies that eventually had a ton of seers that decided to disregard the whole "Don't gently caress with the future" thing at the same time. The old kingdoms could have had a war in which the royalty began to rely on people divining the outcome of battles and adjusting their tactics accordingly. Eventually there was an event so complicated that the old kings brought everything: Forbidden magics, necromancers conscripted from magical prisons, outsiders, everything you've ever heard of in a fantasy story that's shorthand for bad guy magic. Having all these volatile artifacts, dread witches pulling power off of the increasing number of dead, and elemental forces clashing on the mortal plane resulted in a mystic cataclysm. The consequences of societies relying on seers too heavily can still be seen today so everyone knows that you have to be really careful when you screw with the future. Of course this post took me about 10 minutes to write so it's twice the planning that Mookie puts into any of his lovely comics.
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2012 18:50 |
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Matlock Birthmark posted:It also is more shocking to me that his wife apparently read this garbage. According to his newsposts his wife's favorite thing to do while she was sick was to sit around watching Mookie play ME3. I mean you can kind of feel bad for her because she married the guy. But at the end of the day she was a grown woman that looked at this hack manchild of a human being and thought that he was the best fit for her to spend the rest of her life with. Part of me wants to keep holding onto the tiniest thread of hope that Mookie is just writing a great parody of the shittiest parts of comic book history. I mean he's mixing the grittier, darker bullshit from the 90's in which vigilantes are heroes by default and the zero consequence game that a Saturday morning cartoon based on a popular franchise plays. And now, as someone has mentioned, he's added Post-Crisis retcon punches to the mix. I wouldn't be surprised at all if by the end of the comic Deegan has to make a deal with the Infernomancer's master to revive Momgan with the price of making Luna hate him. Of course in Mookie's version Luna will hate Dominic until he initiates Jazzhands 2.0 and she'll go back to him because TRUE LOVE!
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2012 20:35 |
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colonelslime posted:gently caress, are you telling me that Luana just lost a necklace in the desert and called it "The Lost Treasure of Luana"? It's like Luana set up a goddamn scavenger hunt for her faithful. At least the holy grail has some meaning beyond "belonged to Christ before he dropped it in the desert". The really dumb thing is that if you were drawing parallels to things like the holy grail then no Luanian should give a flying gently caress about the necklace. I mean, it's an extravagant piece of jewelry and losing it should mean that their faith's founder had moved beyond the want for material objects. So keeping it as a major piece of the religion is wildly stupid unless the entire passage is "Free from desire and cleansed of spirit, Luana left all material possessions behind. I mean it would have been at least interesting if Jayden told Stunt it was in a reliquary at the Luanian Safe House, and the big reveal is that when he gets there the priests just hand it over because it's just money and their god lets them live without food or shelter if they want to. But no, it's a big deal, everyone knows about it but it's still somehow the Lost Treasure.
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| # ¿ May 3, 2012 09:01 |
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Yeah, this is more like that scene in Futurama during the Brainspawn invasion in which the mayor "fixes" a trainwreck by continuously sending more trains.
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| # ¿ May 3, 2012 18:08 |
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Apparently the reason Luana lost that necklace is because she had two rosaries and a belt made out of the same stuff.
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| # ¿ May 4, 2012 05:34 |
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Surly Duff posted:Good writers have long since realized that constantly saying "How will they get out of this new danger?!" at the end of a chapter only to quickly and cheaply resolve it right at the beginning of the next chapter has diminishing returns. There are only so many times you can create an interesting "immediate danger" cliffhanger without making the resolution feel cheap. Mookie learned everything he knows about writing from old adventurer serials. You know, the ones they used to show in theatres in which every reel ended in Dick Danger dangling off the edge of a cliff while the narrator said, "Will Dick be able to come back from the edge of defeat? Who will save Miss Penelope? Who will stop that Dastardly Doctor Illwill? Find out next time on the Incredible Adventures of Dick Danger!"? Mookie does the same thing except Deegan is never even allowed to get to the edge of the cliff.
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| # ¿ May 4, 2012 21:44 |
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Rotten Red Rod posted:I barely follow this comic or the mock thread really - just check in when I feel like having a laugh at someone's expense - but did he really name some characters "Stunt" and "Bumper"? Those sound like names I came up with when I was 6 playing with TMNT action figures. It's how I know that DD isn't anywhere near ending. You'll know the end is coming when Dominic has to have a completely one sided fight against someone with a name like Umbra or Badguy.
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| # ¿ May 17, 2012 22:41 |
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^^^^^^ still too subtle for MookieKavak posted:I'd go with a good old fashioned "BURN, MOTHERFUCKER!" I'm not a huge fan of quick and dirty magic having Harry Potter faux Latin either. But if you're going to do it you should put a little more effort into it than "Fireball!!" Unless you're Order of he Stick because chanting "Resurrection Resurrection" for ten minutes was one of the few things that amused me in that comic.
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| # ¿ May 18, 2012 09:35 |
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Mors Rattus posted:If by 'fantasy' you mean 'D&D'. I cannot think of a single fantasy novel or book that isn't a D&D property wherein a wizard has literally cast fireball. Seriously, dude, this is a D&D thing. I think Gandalf burned up some goblins and worgs in The Hobbit but it was closer to him making firebombs out of pine cones than it was to casting "Fireball". Harry Dresden of The Dresden Files also uses a lot of fire magic for the quick and dirty stuff. But then again, that series started because Jim Butcher told his creative writing teacher that he could write the most formulaic story possible and still make it entertaining.
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| # ¿ May 18, 2012 19:57 |
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Matlock Birthmark posted:So many of Butcher's stories come about like this. I still find it amusing that his Codex: Alera series came about on a bet that he couldn't write a good story if the backbone ideas were bad. The two backbone ideas someone gave him. The "Lost Roman Legion" and Pokemon. Well I've got a weekend of reading to do it seems. I also recall someone telling me that the reason Dresden wears elaborate stupid hats on the covers is a running joke. Butcher wrote more emphatic passages about how Harry hates hats and his cover artist kept putting dumber hats on him. What I'm saying is that Jim Butcher is awesome.
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| # ¿ May 18, 2012 21:53 |
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What got it for me is that Harry is a complete nerd. Not like a movie junkie that can suddenly do acrobatics during the zombie attack nerd, but Dresden spends most of his time between cases reading lovely genre fiction paperbacks and wears a duster like the guy you know that wears one. He has a lovely canvas coat that he wears over his t-shirt and sweatpants. I mean in the second book one of the groups that train to become werewolves resembles a Vampire: The Masquerade LARP group. It's fun to have a setting where studying magic entails studying and how that kind of shapes a person's personality. Unlike Mookie who can't ever let Dominic be bad at anything. And the one time that he is actually bad at something, he still wins everyone over. Also looking over the last comic, he really is going to give Greg his powers back isn't he? I mean there's no other reason to show him walking around half a strip before TIM shows up. TIM tries to slice Bumper again, Greg pushes him out of the way, gets stabbed through heart, absorbs his magic back through something really dumb like TIM stabbed through the necklace first, causing a dumb magic power reversal thing, Luna one shots TIM because gently caress villains that can actually hurt people.
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| # ¿ May 18, 2012 23:20 |
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dumb brunette posted:It's hard to find "pro"s in this situation Well it's not like Mookie is making that much money on his comic anymore.
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| # ¿ May 19, 2012 04:23 |
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Complexcalibur posted:It's not something I would ever go out of my way to find out, and not just because it would be really creepy to do so, but sometimes I wonder how well off the people in these mock threads are. All three of them are hacks who go out of their way to not improve in any way shape or form, and never go outside of their comfort zone. That implies to me that they're complacent with where they are in life right now, which is certainly a good way to feel, but not to the point where you don't want to improve yourself at all. The working artists/designers I know don't really do a bunch of formal seminars and stuff. But they do constantly experiment, find new styles, and a party to them is ten guys throwing down a little money, buying a few beers and hiring a model for a drawing session. It's the same with most creative types. Writers have vaults of poo poo they've thrown away or never intend to publish because it's just something they're trying. Good musicians don't sit around playing the same three songs every day. Attending "writing bad guys" panels at anime conventions or browsing TVTropes/DA isn't going to further you as a storyteller or artist. But working on your craft of choice, finding a group of critics that will give harsh critiques you'll listen to, and trying new things will make you improve. As for Penny Arcade I'm a fan now but I fall months behind on the comic. Even Gabe and Tycho have said that PAX and Child's Play are the things that will persist and become their legacy. The comic is just this fun thing they do. It's another thing the guys in the mock thread never pulled off(although we know Buckley tried). The PA staff kept going out and finding new things for them to do so that the comic could become a thriving business. They had a blast at E3, thought "Wouldn't it be sweet if there was a non-private version of this?" and then created a convention that serves as a massive party for their fans. During Christmas they decided to have a toy drive, like most decent people didn't realize how much clout they had/how good their fans could be, and filled their garages and had a ton of checks in the mail well before the delivery date. Outside of one or two incidents they've consistently been good people that should be the types gamers/nerds want in the public. Compare that to the mock three that don't seem to realize how much work goes into a successful webcomic like that. Last PAX Prime I ran into someone that a lot of people forget when they talk about all the cool stuff PA has done. Robert Khoo. The man that runs the majority of the business that is Penny Arcade. Guy went to Gabe and Tycho and gave them an actual business plan and made sure they stuck to it. If you're ever at one of their events you'll probably see him zipping around while calling/emailing someone to make sure operations run smoothly. From how much he works there I can gather that the guy's probably putting in a minimum of 70 hours a week at his job. Mookie and Buckley don't realize that there is a business end of that comic. There is no reason that Buckley's little LAN party couldn't have become the East coast answer to Penny Arcade Expo. But he never picked up that this is business and you have to be professional, stick to an update schedule, and not cock off and play video games until you have a sizeable autograph line.
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| # ¿ May 19, 2012 22:01 |
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^^^^^ I wouldn't be surprised if Mookie's friends stopped telling him when they play D&D because he makes the games really boring or won't shut up about how hot the dead drow is. So I've changed my mind about this. I'm thinking that Bumper really is dead. The Deegans will find him with his rear end in the air and blood all over his dick.
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| # ¿ May 21, 2012 20:55 |
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I wouldn't count Bumper out yet. A regular junk Luanian necklace brought Shamed Slut back. The Lost Treasure will not only heal Bumper, but elevate him to the rank of Black Mookie.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 07:45 |
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I just realized that this is identical to Marlon Wayans' death scene in the Dungeons and Dragons movie. Mookie has cribbed so much fantasy he's resorting to D- fantasy movies. How long until he rips off straight to VHS movies about wizards?
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 09:05 |
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Luana was the first human Seer or something. Mookie's trying to create a parallel to finding something like Christ's crown of thorns or the Imperial Regalia of Japan but since he's a complete hack the only way he could think of doing it was to give Luana a string of gems so valuable one of them could buy a city. We're never told if Luana was crazy rich and rejected her wealth when she ditched the treasure in the desert(which would logically make it worthless as a holy artifact) or if it fell out of the sky or something when she had her first vision(in which case why did she ditch it?) It's because Mookie is a hack and doesn't understand that things like the Holy Grail are important because they were part of momentous occasions in a mythology or religion. Mookie decided to spend weeks of his comic loving around in a desert "world building" while refusing to build on the one thing from that arc that he decided to make really important later. It's like he's creating a guide for how to make people hate background in a story.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 17:11 |
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He also goes on and on about different beers while not realizing that tons of breweries use animal proteins in the filtration process. There are several vegan friendly beers but the proteins are rarely on the label.. So unless you ask you can be a a brewfest or other tasting and drink something that's not part of a vegan diet.
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| # ¿ May 24, 2012 23:33 |
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HootTheOwl posted:Honestly, how are you guys able to keep Stunt, Bumper, and Greg seperate? The only character I can identify here is Luna because Mookie confused "Off the Shoulder" with "Honey I Shrunk the Mage" There's a really good reason posters like me refer to the characters as Mookie, Knife Mookie, Wolf Mookie, etc.
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| # ¿ May 25, 2012 09:02 |
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Eschers Basement posted:Well, credit where credit is due. We've been bitching at Mookie for years that his conflicts have no sense of drama or importance because everything is always "heroes win with no effort or losses, villains look like idiots, gently caress YOU JOCKS, TEE HEE". And for the first time in a long while, the villains made off with their objective and someone on the 'good guys' (oh how ironic that term is here) side is dead. Jokes about the cat thing aside. I really do think the comic would get the tiniest chance of being good if Luna died.
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| # ¿ May 25, 2012 19:55 |
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Scintilla posted:So Bumper's going to Hell, right? He's an unrepentant thief who murdered a woman in cold blood and then placed her body in a sexual pose. No doubt he did many other terrible things during his and Knifemookie's travels together. Only jocks and cheating sluts go to hell. Actually have we seen anyone but TIM and Sig go to Hell?
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| # ¿ May 26, 2012 18:58 |
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Iacen posted:Why is the King evil? Have we ever seen something that indeed makes him evil? Not to mention that Dominic, a major threat to the King, is allowed to just gently caress off and cross the border for a long honeymoon at a moment's notice. If the King was any kind of oppressor you think he would have at least sealed the borders and captured known terrorists. Instead when Dominic returns to the comic he's just hanging around the house.
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| # ¿ May 28, 2012 08:32 |
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So the Archmages just made up the Fifth Circle for the King? Meaning they can have as many Archmages as they want? Way to make everything in your world useless.
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| # ¿ May 29, 2012 04:52 |
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/\/\/\/\So King David working his way up to being Archmage and then King is Siggy 2.0?Veev posted:A huge part of modern superman (okay I haven't read superman in a long time but still) too is exploring what natural talent means. He constantly feels like he has to save everyone because he was born "better" than everyone. He's excluded from society yet he still feels like he has to protect them, and other comics (maybe a mainstream superman comic has done it I don't know) have taken inspiration to explore how much someone like that would resent humanity. Dominic Deegan is both the super special seer but also just like you and he has diseases but he's also super saiyan but don't worry he can't dance so feel sorry for your messiah! The other huge part of post-dailies Superman is that he knows that literally every war, famine and other problem could be solved in at most a month by him using his powers to do poo poo like forcibly disarming every nuclear power. But his more noble and human traits make him aware that doing this would make him exactly what Luthor paint him to be, a fascist that believes his superior strength makes him born to rule. I think it was Earth One that had him making it a big deal when he decided to become a hero. He uses the dorky Clark Kent persona to pass along an interview stating that "There is nothing political about saving a city from a meteor." and ensures the people that he will never intervene on the behalf of one government or power because these are things that humanity has to figure out for itself. It leaks into several aspects of Superman. His mother tells him that she didn't make a mask as part of the costume because when you look at Superman you're supposed to see what humanity can become. Every noble, kind and decent part of yourself that you wanted to ignore because it was necessary. Wearing a mask would destroy that. He would just become another vigilante, and someone that people would fear. Compare this to Mookie. His characters murder unsuspecting victims, drop people into magical prisons without trial, use their magic to impose their will on other people, and surprise sex underage girls. These are his heroes.
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| # ¿ May 29, 2012 23:02 |
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FatSamurai posted:Or, heck, if you want to skip all that, bring back another bad guy and have him be the centerpiece of everything. That Infernomancer guy is pretty nasty, why not have him be more than some stupid gopher for the forces of evil? Can't he do something world-breakingly awful? Maybe since this is the comic's last big event, you can take a look at who the Infernomancer is past "power metal slaughter machine". What's his name, for crying out loud? Where did he come from? Why is he doing what he's doing? Now we have an opportunity for Deegan to be a huge nerd and use his brain, while some of the more physically capable people do some legwork and try and hold him off. Remember that story in Sandman about the Cereal Convention? Dream chastises the Corinthian because he was supposed to be his masterwork nightmare, a dream that awakened the primal fear in all of humanity, and all he accomplished was causing a few hundred deaths. It's like Mookie read that arc but thought that the Corinthian did a really good job of instilling fear by walking around killing people. If Mookie actually collects comics and isn't just doing it for teehee rock on nerd cred you know he's exactly like Bart Simpson in the Halloween special featuring Alan Moore. Moore is skeptical that Bart actually likes a version of Radioactive Man that's addicted to heroin and not actually radioactive. Bart shrugs and responds, "I don't read the words. I just like it when he punches people."
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| # ¿ May 30, 2012 18:13 |
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SlothfulCobra posted:Perhaps the entire comic has been an amazing gambit, and the alien archmages from other dimensions are racist against humans and everyone else in their dimension because they are all amoral jerks with no real personalities. It would actually be funny if the Archmagi hated humans because the other races with a Circle are actually poo poo at combat magic. They all learned magic and do things like shape cities out of glass or learn how to fly between stars. Humans get a hold of magic and learn how to kill or manipulate each other. Before David the Archmagi didn't even consider using their abilities to hurt other people. Kind of a cliche fantasy story but miles ahead of what Mookie shits onto a page every day.
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| # ¿ May 31, 2012 02:41 |
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Even Momgan's rack grows under attack. Mookie really can't stop leaking his fetish into the comic can he?
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| # ¿ May 31, 2012 05:52 |
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Sudoku posted:gently caress this comic. When does it END? You really think it'll end? I'm almost certain that the hero in Mookie's upcoming superhero project will be a telepath.
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| # ¿ May 31, 2012 23:29 |
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| # ¿ May 25, 2013 08:16 |
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It's been bothering me for a while. Does he think that "Rock on" poo poo sounds remotely cool? At best it reeks of a 40 year old uncle trying to sound hip around his nephews.
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| # ¿ Jun 1, 2012 07:38 |
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